About: Julia/Tommy, Joe/Sarah, Kevin/Tommy
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything
Extra: This an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so remember : The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are part 01, part 02, part 03, part 04, part 05, part 06, part 07, part 08, part 09, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28, part 29, part 30, part 31, part 32, part 33, part 34, part 35, part 36, part 37, part 38, part 39 and part 40
EARLY MARCH 2008
Julia stares at Tommy. She cannot believe what he just told her. She cannot get her head around it.
“What?!” her voice is only a whisper.
“And you have known about this for nearly 2 and half month and never told me?”
“Yes... I tried to tell you... but ... couldn’t.” Tommy feels so weak. He really thought that telling the truth would make things better, but Julia stares at him with barely controlled confusion and anger.
“How could you do this to me? How could you lie to me like that?”
“I love you, Jules. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“That is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard.... What makes you think that it would hurt any less now, than it would have done way back then?”
Tommy bows his head. He cannot handle looking at her, see the disgust on her face. Then her words actually sink in.
“You lied to me.” He hears her say and Tommy feels those words like a stab to the heart.
“No, there was something I didn’t tell you, because I was too embarrassed to do so...”
Julia frowns. There is something ominous in Tommy’s voice.
“... but it does raise a question. If I’m sterile, definately sterile, how come you are pregnant? ...” Tommy sees the blood drain from Julia’s face and with some satisfaction he can conclude that Julia hadn’t really thought about this either.
“I….” She opens her mouth to say something, but the words just don’t come to her. The full horror of the situation now becomes clear to her too. This baby cannot be Tommy’s, it must therefore be Dominic’s… She slept with Dominic. There’s no denying it anymore. She can no longer pretend it didn’t happen.
She had a one-night affair and now she must face the consequences and suddenly she’s scared. What if Tommy abandons her? What will she say to her parents? How can she ever face Tommy’s family? How can she raise a child by herself? She wants, she needs, this baby to be Tommy’s, but it can never be his….
“Are you going to divorce me?” She asks, her eyes big with fear.
“I don’t know.” Tommy replies. “I love you. I can’t stand the idea of losing you… but if you’re in love with someone else….?”
“No! No! Never!” Julia denies passionately.
“Then…?” Tommy doesn’t dare to finish his question, his hand waving in the direction of her belly and Julia knows he deserves an answer.
“It happened on Christmas Eve … I ran into some guy from high school. I had such a crush on him way back then, but he was older than me. I was only fifteen then.
We talked. I hadn’t had much to eat, but I did get a few drinks and we started to talk and laugh and reminisce. It got later and later, I got even more drunk and the next day I woke up in his bed… I can’t even remember having done anything with him…. I didn’t want to know…. He was engaged… His girlfriend out of town…
I missed you… I felt lonely… I just wanted to have a good time... I never meant to destroy our lives or our love… It just happened… And I know it was wrong… I know it… I know I screwed up… but I love you…. So much.” She does nothing to stop her tears from flowing and Tommy feels so sorry for her.
He can see that she’s seriously upset, that she never meant to hurt him or their marriage. He knows that she loves him. She always did and she will continue to do so. He’s suddenly so sure of that, that it takes his breath away. All the doubts of the last months fall away and it empowers him.
“Jules? Do you love me? Do you really love me? Am I the one… you want to be with?”
“Yes, you always were.”
“Do you want a divorce? I could understand…. I mean, I’m not … good enough.”
“I don’t want a divorce. You are all I ever needed. I wanted a child for us…
But it wasn’t the most important thing in my life. I just felt the time was right, financially and emotionally, but I could have lived without a child, if I had known…. Maybe we could have even considered adoption or something else. What I wanted most of all was to be with you. Make us stronger.”
“Good. Because I want you… And our baby.” He caresses Julia’s belly. “I don’t care what anyone else says. I want us to be together.”
“It won’t be easy…. To know… that you’re not…” Julia starts.
“No… it’s won’t be… But we’ll get through it…..” Tommy promises before he kisses Julia.
Joe clears the table. Paige is upstairs doing some homework for school. Cooper watches cartoons. He takes Sarah’s plate and puts a back in the cupboards. Of course, Sarah wasn’t there for dinner. Of course she couldn’t bother to call. Of course work was more important. And of course it leaves Joe feeling irrelevant to Sarah once again.
Without further thought he throws away Sarah’s portion. If she’s hungry when she gets home, she can make her own food. He’s not going to cook for her anymore! He had agreed to being a dad to the children, not to being Sarah’s personal slave. When Sarah got pregnant he felt it would be good if he would stay home to raise the kids.
After all, Sarah earned much more than him. He believed it was possible to raise the kids, do the work around the house and have time to be busy with his music... but there wasn’t . By the time the kids were in bed and he could finally do something with his music, he was too exhausted to do something creative.
Oh, he continues to play the guitar, to write little songs, but his heart isn’t in it. It is more a must do, then a want to do. His music was no longer fun... until this afternoon, feeling the guitar in his hands, hearing the others play music. Noreen humming along. It had been great and he can still feel that adrenaline in his blood.
He hears the keys in the lock and Sarah comes in.
“Hi, honey, I’m sorry, I’m late, Wait till you hear what happened,....”
“I don’t want to know. I just chucked away your dinner, so if you’re hungry, eat a sandwich. I’m in the music room and I don’t want to be disturbed.” He says curtly.
Sarah watches him leave the room. She feels stunned. He hasn’t spoken to her like that in a long time and she knows, somewhere in the back of her mind that she should worry about Joe, but she’s still on fire about her time with Noah. It had been heart-breaking to see Noah worry about his kids.
But she had comforted him and that had led to some unexpected but pretty good sex... She feels she needs a shower and by the time she reaches the bathroom, she has forgotten Joe’s words, like she always forgets about Joe. The fluttering feeling in her stomach reminds her of Noah, her secret lover, not of Joe, her husband of ten years.
“Hey.” Tommy says, his voice soft on the phone.
“Hey.” Kevin replies, slowly waking up.
“Did I wake you?”
“A bit.” Kevin sits up and gently caresses Scotty’s back to sooth him back to sleep.
“I took your advice. I talked to Julia.”
“Oh.... how is she?”
Kevin can hear Tommy breathe and therefore assumes there’s more to come.
“Kev? ... Thanks for this afternoon. I really needed someone to talk to.”
“You won’t tell the others, will you?”
“No, but dad might.”
It remains silent on the other side. Obviously Tommy hadn’t thought of that.
“I’ll deal with him if necessary.” Tommy then says. His voice is calm. “Anyway, just wanted to let you know... in case you wanted to know..?"
“'Night.” Kevin says, but Tommy’s already gone.
He is glad Tommy called, because it appears that the spontaneous intimacy of this afternoon was not a one-time thing. Keeping Kevin informed meant that Tommy wanted him to know. Kevin smiles as he slides back under the covers to snuggle up closely to Scotty. In his sleep Scotty pulls him closer and Kevin gives a content sigh. In Scotty’s arms everything’s alright.
HALFWAY MARCH 2008
“Tommy! Tommy, wake up!” Julia screams.
“What? ... What’s going on?” Tommy moans.
“The baby! There’s something wrong with the baby! It hurts! It hurts so bad.” Julia cries. When Tommy pulls away the blankets, he sees the bed is covered in blood.
END OF PART 41
SNEAK PEEK FOR PART 42:
Lying on her back, she dials William’s number again, but no one answers.