About: Kitty/Jonathan, Kevin/Scotty, Justin
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything
Extra: This an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so remember : The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are part 01, part 02, part 03, part 04, part 05, part 06, part 07, part 08, part 09, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26 and part 27
“Kit, I’m telling you, I’d rather not that you take that job.” Jonathan puts on his shirt and adjusts the sleeves.
“Why not?” Kitty Walker adjusts her bra and carefully buttons up her blouse.
“Because you’ll be my wife in three weeks. Everything is ready for our wedding-day.”
“So? IF “Red, White and Blue” goes live, it will be in about 8 weeks. We’ll be back by then.”
“Kitty, as my wife, you don’t need to work.” Jonathan unbuttons the top button again, feeling he should wear a tie, but he hates them
“That is ridiculous. I’ve worked hard to build my career and I can do this.”
Jonathan turns to Kitty to zip up her skirt behind her, she turns to him with a grateful smile.
“Kit, love, you don’t have to prove anything to me. I know you’re a wonderful woman and you’ll make a wonderful wife and a great mother, I’m sure.”
“What does that have to do with my taking a job?”
Kitty quickly adjusts Jonathan’s tie. He should wear one, even if he doesn’t like them, she feels. It’s more appropriate.
“You don’t have to prove yourself to me anymore.”
“I never did. I do it for myself.”
Jonathan sighs as he puts on his shoes. He’s a bit tired of this argument.
“Kit, that is your liberal mother talking through you. With my income you don’t need to work.”
“I don’t want to live on your income. I want my own.” Kitty tries not to sound too pouting, which is not easy, because she’s putting on her lip-stick.
“I don’t like that color on you.” Jonathan says and Kitty immediately takes another color. “Listen, I know that you’ve always been taking care of yourself, but I’m here now and I want to take care of you. I thought we talked about having children, once we’re married. And you cannot have a job and a child at the same time.”
“Sarah can. She has two kids and is responsible for Ojai.”
“She also has lazy stay-at-home-wanna-be-daddy-husband with no steady income at home.” Jonathan gripes. Kitty finds herself disagreeing silently. Joe is a good father and he loves Sarah and in spite of some marital problems they have right now, Sarah and Joe have a good marriage.
“With two incomes we can hire a nanny.” She interjects. Jonathan takes up his files and puts them in his briefcase.
“I don’t want my child raised by nannies. He will have a mother to raise him.”
“She. Her. Could be a girl.”
“I’m sure it will be a boy. And will call him Evan, after my dad.”
“What about William? Like my dad.” Kitty frowns, looking for her keys.
“My father is dead, yours isn’t. It will be less confusing.” Jonathan replies with the confidence of a man who knows he has the best argumentation. Kitty lowers her necklace. He has.
“What if it is a girl?” She asks.
“Then I will love her as much as I love you.” Jonathan replies with a soft kiss on her lips. He takes his briefcase, his car-keys and after one last kiss, he leaves their apartment, leaving Kitty with an unsatisfied feeling of not having accomplished anything.
She puts on her necklace with a sigh. She loves Jonathan, she knows she does, but does she really have to be confined to four walls because she marries him? She disagrees that she no longer has prove herself now that she’s engaged. She never meant to prove anything to Jonathan or anyone else.
She does it for herself. Yes, she loves her job. Radio is a good medium, but she got offered a job in television! A chance to pit her political ideas against someone completely on the opposite side. And Warren Salter isn’t just anybody. He has a great following amongst the Democrats.
This is an opportunity she cannot let pass. It’s too good. Somehow it bothers her that Jonathan isn’t supporting her. He will be her husband, but she’s not that keen on the “obey” part and she has no desire to be tied to the house and be a mother only. She blames her liberal mother there, for making her believe she can do anything she wants.
And she wants this show. And she will fight for it, if she has to. She turns and twists in front of the mirror. She looks good enough. She takes a deep breath. She has a meeting with Warren and Jack in an hour and she wants to be ready and look professional. She straightens her skirt, grabs her car-keys and after a deep breath, she knows she’s ready.
“Hey, you’re home.” Scotty replies cheerful. “I thought you’d be here later. You said you wanted to drop by your parents’ house to talk to Justin.”
“I did. He wasn’t in the mood to talk. And I didn’t know what to say. We just sat there for a while. He said he was alright, but I don’t believe him. He just ignores his pain and pretends he’s fine.”
“Sometimes that’s the only coping-mechanism someone has…. It’s easier to deal with a certain event, if you pretend it didn’t happen.” Scotty sighs, thinking about his own past. “.. but in the long run you can only fool yourself for a certain period of time. Justin will deal with it. All you can do is be there for him when he does.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It won’t be easy. But I know, that you’ll catch him when he needs you.” Scotty puts an arm around Kevin and pulls him closer. They kiss with more tenderness than either one had planned. Kevin sighs once their lips part.
“I’m so lucky to have you. I want to tell the whole family about you, but as long a Justin is at mom and dad’s, I can’t. I’m pretty sure that dad is going to kick me out of the house and he will make it impossible for me to see Justin at the house and I don’t want to put Justin in the middle of all this either.”
“Take your time, Kev. I’m not in a hurry to cross swords with your dad again. I like my life as it is and I don’t want the hassle now either. My family doesn’t know about me and you, so I’m not going to raise a fuss over whether or not you should tell your family…. I’m glad Sarah knows, though. I really like her…”
“I’m glad we solved this too. I should have known…. I always thought she would be on my side, which is why hearing her talk about you’re being so different from what she had expected, made it sound as if you weren’t good enough and it made me feel rejected. I hadn’t thought that she might mean it in a positive way.”
“With this knowledge… Do you think that you could tell your other siblings? Maybe they weren’t being negative either.” Scotty asks, but Kevin shakes his head.
“No. The more people know, the harder it will become to keep this a secret. And I want to tell dad when I think the time is right.”
“Alright. Fine. Did you already have something to eat?”
“Not really. Just some pretzels…. Do you still have something?”
“’Course, I was counting on it … Come with me to the kitchen.” Scotty smiles and Kevin can guess that that smile means, things will not be restricted to eating alone.
Justin sighs with relief when his parents finally leave for the charity event they’ve been invited to. He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep up his smile. He is so angry with William, he could scream, but he keeps his mouth shut. He has nowhere else to go right now. But it’s so hard….
He should have stayed in his room. He should not have gone downstairs. He knew that his dad was home and he wouldn’t be so furious now, if he had just stayed in his room. But it’s too late now, now he knows, now he had heard his dad talk about Fawn and now Justin is so frustrated with an anger he cannot talk about, because he has no one to turn to.
He closes his eyes, wishing he could erase the sound of his dad’s calm, cold voice, but it was there in his head and it wouldn’t stop. Like a broken record, he kept hearing the same words over and over again. And he can’t switch it off and it drives him crazy, because now he has a desperate need to numb his feelings…
He lies down on his bed, watching the ceiling. Memories of Fawn are on his mind. He knows that it wasn’t his fault, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling guilty. He misses her, because now he’s back to fighting his nightmares alone and he’s just so tired of the fight. Fawn’s own needs, the idea that he was there for her, made him feel stronger. With her gone, he feels weak again.
He turns over to his side. There are things he cannot tell, he cannot explain. He is 28 years old, how can he explain that he is terrified of his nightmares. His fear is irrational to any other human being, but still he’s afraid to fall asleep in the evening, even though he knows he cannot be physically harmed.
He sits up, feeling heavy and above all, feeling tired. Very tired. Last night he slept for only 2 hours, he spent the rest on his laptop, ‘talking’ to other veterans. The nights are so terribly long. He gets up, knowing that now he’s worried about it, sleep will elude him once again.
It serves no purpose to stay in bed. He will not be able to sleep anyway. He gets dressed and puts on his coat. He knows what he wants. Drugs or alcohol. Anything to make him stop feeling something. He knows what he has to do… He takes a deep breath, puts on his coat, with a soft click, the door of the house closes behind Justin.
END OF PART 28