Disclaimer: B&S is not mine. Written with love, not for money
Summary: Kevin’s reflections on Father’s day
A day late, but just a reminder to myself that I should be glad that I still have my dad to ask questions to and a dad who never fails to tell me that he loves me. Even if sometimes I forget to tell him that I love him too.
Father’s day feels strange to Kevin. His father past away three years ago and whatever issues they had, some unresolved, died with him and words that can never be taken back are left without an apology.
William’s death has also brought up new issues that can now never be resolved, because they will never know what William’s plans were or how William really felt about Holly or Connie or what he knew about Rebecca and Ryan.
Kevin feels regrets that William never got to know Scotty and could never see how happy he is, being in a stable marriage with Scotty. On the other hand, he has doubts that William would be interested.
William had never shown much interest in his private life or who he was dating. Unlike Wally Wandell, who now regularly calls to talk to Scotty. From the answers Scotty gives, Kevin can hear that Wally asks about Kevin too.
That is something that William would never have done. He would not have asked Kevin for news about his partner. Kevin cannot recall a single instance that William ever did. And his mind wanders to the other fathers he knows.
Joe, who has the kids this month, much to Sarah’s sadness. Regardless of how Kevin feels about Joe and Sarah splitting up, Joe is a good father to Paige, Cooper and Gabe. He is always there when they need him. Something William never was.
He knows that Courtney let Robert have his weekend with Sophie and Jack. He knows that Robert will take them to the beach to have fun. Kevin cleared Robert’s schedule for them. Something William would not have easily done.
Tommy is still somewhere in Mexico. He sighs. He knows that Tommy tries to talk to Julia, but still gets only the answering machine. He also knows that Julia erases every message from him, without even listening. She told Scotty.
Still Tommy keeps trying and Kevin has to respect his tenacity. Tommy will continue to try until Julia tells him it’s really over. He is rather sure William would have given up a lot sooner.
“Kevin, you have mail…” Scotty calls and Kevin is surprised to see it’s from Julia. Strange, she usually talks to Scotty. He opens the mail and reads:
“Someone had something to tell you…. Happy father’s day. Love. Julia.”
He opens the attachment and sees the scan. A drawing of two creatures. One big, the other one small. A sun. Strands of grass and lots and lots of blue to show the sky. Next to the big doll it says “Kevin”, next to the small one only “me”.
The letters are uneven in height and obviously copied from her mother’s handwriting, yet, it touches Kevin deeply, because it reminds him he is a father too. And it fills him with an unknown joy and pride.
And he wonders: Did William ever feel this too? He will never know the answer. It is too late to ask. All he can do now is do a better job than William did, if ever Elizabeth needs him to.