Disclaimer: Brothers & Sisters is not mine, I know. Stop rubbing it in.
The walls seem to close in on him and he’s pacing the floor of his apartment. He doesn’t understand how it is possible that Rebecca and he can never get a break. Why can’t they be happy for just one day? Is it her fault? Is it his? He knows he loves her, he’s crazy about her and he wants to be with her.
But somehow it’s not meant to be. The simplest gesture or remark can become a trigger for a fight and he’s done with the fighting. He longs for some peace in his life, in his mind and in his body. He is tired of all the misunderstandings. He suddenly stops in the middle of the room, sticking his hands under his armpits.
He starts to shiver. He has experience with this. His desire for drugs is getting stronger. He is alone in this house, he cannot think of anything to do. He looks around. The tv is quietly playing, but there’s nothing he wants to see. Nothing to distract him. The place is a bit messy, but he cannot bring himself to clean up.
His mouth is dry. Oh, what he wouldn’t give for a drink... or a shot... His heart starts to beat faster and he starts to panic. He needs to get out of here and get help. He thinks about his sponsor, but then decides to go to his mother instead. It isn’t until he’s in the car that he realizes that he cannot go to Nora.
Ryan is there and he doesn’t want to see, much less talk to Ryan. Kevin and Scotty are both working tonight, he knows, so he can’t go to Kevin, and Tommy.... Tommy is with Sarah.... Maybe Sarah is an option? He shifts gear and drives a little faster. Not too fast, he doesn’t want to be pulled over by some overactive cop.
He reaches Sarah’s drive with a sigh. He made it. He quickly gets out and knocks on her door while he still has the courage to do so. He can see from the look on her face that she’s surprised to see him, but it quickly changes to understanding when he says that he cannot stop thinking about using again.
And as he sees her make up the couch so he can sleep there tonight, he’s almost in tears. He is glad that he chose his family’s side. His family is awesome in so many ways. Experience has taught him that one of them is always there for him. All he needs to do, is reach out to them and ask for help...