Rate: absolutely NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own Brothers & Sisters or Kevin & Scotty
Summary: A ghost from Kevin’s past returns.
Two weeks later:
Kevin sighs as he puts his magazine down. He cannot concentrate anyway. They are on this nice resort on Aruba, the sun is shining, the sea is blue and calm, the palm-trees are gorgeous. The little cottage-like place they hired, is part of the hotel, but gives them some privacy as it is away from other guests and other sunbathing tourists. It is not far from the sea and Kevin likes the view from the small porch.
Scotty and he had decided on a short break, away from everything. Kevin had hoped that two weeks on this tropical island would help to remove the tension between them, but now, four days into their little holiday, things seem only have gotten worse. Since Scotty came home, he was quickly irritated and he would snap at everything and everybody. And Kevin was worried about him for several reasons.
In the first place because Scotty came home upset after his first workday back in the restaurant and called in sick the next day and hasn’t returned. In the second place because Kevin accidentally heard a message from the hospital with a request that Scotty would call them back, but Scotty hasn’t said a word about it to him.
And Kevin is scared. He doesn’t want to tell Scotty that he knows, because Scotty might feel watched, on the other hand he’s worried something might be wrong with Scotty. Otherwise, why keep it a secret? He keeps going back and forth on the decision of confronting Scotty, because they are walking on such fine line right now.
Kevin is also worried about two other things. Since the attack Scotty and he haven’t been intimate. He tried all the excuses these last two weeks. Be patient, be kind, be sweet, give it time, count to ten, let him come to you, it was a terrible ordeal, let it be his step to take, don’t push it….. But the fact remains that Scotty still freezes whenever Kevin touches him.
And then there’s Scotty’s cooking…Or lack thereof. In these two weeks, Scotty let Kevin take care of the food. Kevin cooks at night when he comes home. If he isn’t home that night, Scotty will have a sandwich only. Scotty even suggested ordering pizza. Kevin cannot think of a better reason to be terrified. Scotty hates store-bought pizzas, he prefers to make them himself.
On top of it all, Scotty left right after lunch without saying something to Kevin. He’s been gone for nearly four hours now and Kevin has no idea where he is. He gets up and stretches his legs. Back inside he hears the lock and he quickly goes inside, where he sees Scotty come in. Well, at least he has a smile on his face.. That is something…
“Hi, sweetie, where have you been?” Scotty’s smile vanishes as if he’s annoyed to see Kevin. And Kevin, intending to kiss his husband stops in his tracks and forgets about kissing Scotty, suddenly not in the mood to play nice.
“I went into town. Do I need to give you a detailed list of every place I went to?”
“No, but you could have told me…”
“I wanted to go alone.” Scotty snaps.
“Fine.” Kevin feels his frustration growing. “Would it have killed you to say, that you wanted a few hours alone-time in town, instead of me having to hear it from the girl at reception, who saw me looking for you?”
“Why are you making such a fuss about it?”
“Because I got worried about you?”
“Kevin, I’m an adult, not a kid.”
“Coulda fooled me.” Kevin murmurs.
“What?” Scotty asks.
“Nothing. Never mind.” Kevin deflects. “Did you buy something?”
“Groceries. I’m making pasta tonight.”
“Why? There is a restaurant here. We can eat there.”
“Because I wanted to cook.”
“But why? There is no reason to. We have a small kitchenette, but that doesn’t mean you can really cook a meal here.”
"I'm making pasta!" Scotty snaps angrily. Kevin clenches his fist, controlling his temper the best he can.
"Fine! Then make your pasta! Call me when it's ready and I'll eat it!" And Kevin walks away feeling that if he doesn't, he will seriously hurt Scotty."
Scotty sighs deeply, his anger fading as quickly as it came and now he feels miserable. They are on a nice tropical island, for crying out loud. Pasadena is far away. Scotty knows Alex is in prison. Four murders and the attempted murder on him. He’s not ever getting out of prison and that should make Scotty happy. But these last two weeks were hell.
Scotty spoke to Max right after he regained consciousness and told Max everything, but he begged Max not to say anything to Kevin and Max had kept his promise. Kevin doesn’t know many details of what happened that day. Scotty cannot handle the thought of Kevin knowing. At the time, Scotty didn’t want Kevin to feel more guilty, but now it’s getting harder.
Now, he cannot handle Kevin touching him, because his touch reminds Scotty of Alex’s touch, Scotty argues a lot with Kevin over meaningless things and Kevin is a shadow of himself at the moment, never knowing when Scotty will ‘explode’, he’s careful with every word to not trigger anything. Scotty feels the tension and knows he’s responsible.
Scotty feels trapped and he wants to run, but he is also smart enough to realize the real trouble is inside him and no matter how hard he runs, it will still be there when he stops. He sighs as he unpacks the grocery-bag. He puts everything on display and watches his hands tremble. He takes a deep breath and starts cutting the vegetables.
This used to help him relax, it used to give him focus. But this time it is not working. He still feels bad about Kevin. He brushes away the tears that, he pretends, are there from the peeled unions. He washes his hands to prepare the meat and stops for a moment. This has to work. He has to find his way back to Kevin somehow.
By the time Scotty tells Kevin that dinner is ready, Kevin can master a smile again.
“Smells good.” Kevin compliments his husband. “And so does the food.” Standing behind Scotty, he is tempted to kiss Scotty’s neck and seduce him, but instead he puts his hands behind his back. If Scotty wants distance, distance is what he gets.
Kevin sits down at the table, which is nicely set, there’s even wine. Scotty obviously put some effort in this and Kevin tries to relax. Maybe Scotty is on his way back to being the Scotty he used to know. He pours the wine into the beautiful glasses and hopes that tonight will be the night where everything changes.
Scotty puts the plates on the table and Kevin has to admit that it looks good. He’s hungry. Scotty feels that he’s nervous, he will apologize to Kevin, they will eat, drink, talk, relax, maybe even… Kevin almost spits out the pasta. His hand covers his mouth, so that Scotty doesn’t see the disgust on his face, but it is too late, Scotty already saw it.
Kevin takes a large gulp from his wine. He is all for trying new dishes, but this is god-awful. Looking up at Scotty he sees the total devastation on Scotty’s face.
“Is it that bad?” he whispers. And Kevin feels sorry for his hasty reaction.
“It… it’s not what I expected….” He tries diplomatically.
“Not what you expected…?” Scotty’s voice is sarcastic and Kevin frowns. He is trying to be nice here. “It is disgusting and don’t lie to me, I can see it on your face.” Kevin becomes annoyed.
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot, you can read me like a comic book, two pages at a time, right?”
“Yes! I can! And I know you’re lying.”
“Oh, that’s rich: You calling me a liar as if you’re such a poster-boy for honesty.”
“You know, that message on the phone? If Mr Wandell would like to return a call of the hospital, because the results of his tests were in?You haven’t mentioned anything to me.”
“You’ve been listening to my messages?”
“They are our messages on our answering-machine, Scotty. I was checking if there was something there for me.”
“You knew and you couldn’t be bothered to ask me if there was something wrong with me?”
Kevin’s jaw drops in disbelief.
“You’re the one having tests done in the hospital behind my back. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t supposed to be informed about it by my loving, oh, so honest husband.”
“I don’t want to have this conversation right now.” Scotty says.
“I know, you would prefer to have nothing to do with me all together, don’t you?”
“Oh, come on! You don’t want me lie to you? Then show me the same courtesy.” Kevin’s sarcasm has gone and an outright anger has taken place.
“You don’t want me to touch you. We’re not intimate anymore. You don’t want me near you. You act as if I repulse you. And I know you went through some horrible ordeal and I’m not belittling that. And I am terribly sorry that at the age of 14 years old, I didn’t realize that my best friend was a total and utter psychopath.
But he hurt me and I didn’t want him back in my life. You were the one who insisted I should give him a second chance. So, please, if you want to blame someone for this, don’t blame me, but take a good long look in the mirror…. And while you’re at it, and while we’re being honest here, grab your book on basic pasta and re-read it, because this stuff tastes awful.”
He pushes the plate away with such strength that it slides off the table and everything lands with a loud clattering noise on the floor. Scotty, white as sheet, flinches at the sound. His eyes are wet with upcoming tears, as Kevin’s words have cut him deeply. He opens his mouth to say something, but there’s no sound. Which is fine with Kevin because he wasn’t finished yet.
He gets off his chair and with a rough voice, softer, but clearly holding down his frustrations he continues:
“I’m done trying. I feel as if I’ve tried everything to be as understanding as I can be. And I’m sorry if what I did wasn't good enough.
But I can’t go on like this. There’s no use in my staying here. You can have the place all to yourself and maybe you can find some way of dealing with this on your own, because you sure as hell don’t wish to let me help you. I don’t know what is wrong with you and you don’t want to share anything with me. You want nothing to do with me at all.”
Kevin’s voice breaks, he swallows back his tears. “Something is broken, Scotty, and I don't know how to fix it. You went through something awful and I've tried to be patient and we both know that patience is not one of my virtues, but I don't know how much more I can take. I miss you. I love you.
I want you back and I can’t stand the thought of yet another night without you in my arms.. I just can’t. But I will sleep on the couch tonight and book a flight back tomorrow, because this isn’t working. Maybe some time apart will be a solution? I don’t know. Maybe if you don’t have to look at me all the time and feel that I’m the cause of your pain, you can start healing."
Scotty is shocked by Kevin’s pain. He hadn’t realized how deep the impact had been on Kevin. As if he sees Kevin for the first time in weeks, he can see the lines on Kevin’s face. He looks exhausted, hurt, broken, scared and Scotty knows deep in his heart that this is not what he wanted. He never meant to hurt Kevin….
“I’m going for a walk on the beach. I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to tiptoe around subjects anymore. I’m tired. I assume that you won’t stay up for me. In fact, I’m sure that you’ll be glad I’m gone. So goodnight. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow morning…. Or not. Whatever you want. Just leave a blanket and a pillow here, so I don’t have to wake you up.”
Scotty watches Kevin leave. He wants to say something, call Kevin back, but there is no sound to his voice. Confused as to what to do he picks up the pieces of the plate off the floor. On automatic pilot he cleans the floor, clears the table, throws away the pasta that turned cold and he washes the dishes.
Maybe Kevin is right and this is for the best. He takes a blanket and a pillow and puts them on the couch as Kevin asked…. God, this seems definitive. He looks at the couch and remembers the small stack of airbed, sleeping-bag and pillow that Kevin had offered over a year ago. At the time it had been all Kevin could offer and now it was the same.
At the time all Kevin could offer was a roof over his head. In time Kevin had offered far more. His care, his friendship, his love, his house, his trust, … his heart… Scotty looks at his wedding-ring. And now he, Scotty, was about to throw that all away. For Scotty knows that if Kevin gets on that plane tomorrow there will be irreparable damage to their relationship.
His wedding-ring reminds of the moment that Kevin put on his finger. His love, his devotion, his support and how it had been the happiest moment in Scotty’s life. And also how much he loves Kevin. Still. He cannot afford to lose Kevin. Kevin is the most important person in his life… He must find Kevin and talk with him…
Kevin doesn’t know how long he walked. He walks slowly, glad he wears his sunglasses so no one sees the tears behind those dark glasses. He cannot recall ever feeling more empty. He is such a loser, so selfish. He knows Scotty is deeply affected by what happened. He should have kept his mouth shut.
He’s tired and lets himself sink on the sand. The reddish color of the sunset is slowly fading away, it’s turning dark. The usually deep blue sea, is now also a darkening mass of water. Kevin takes off his sunglasses and dries his cheeks. His eyes are still red and swollen, but no one will see.
Along the water couples walk hand in hand. He can see a boy and girl stop to kiss and he feels jealous. He follows the couple with his stare for a while, then concentrates on the ocean. A lonely silhouette comes closer. He knows it’s Scotty, before he can even the person’s face. Scotty approaches him meekly.
Once he’s next to Kevin he offers a little smile, but doesn’t get one in return. Kevin doesn’t feel like smiling. So Scotty sits down next to Kevin to watch the last traces of the sun fade away. They sit together quietly and Kevin’s heart breaks. They are inches apart, but there is so much distance between them they might as well have been on different continents.
It is so quiet that Kevin startles when Scotty starts to speak in the dark.
“I planned to make pasta that day.”
“What?” Kevin cannot follow Scotty’s line of thought… Scotty takes a while, as if he’s organizing his thoughts.
“I went to the hospital to have it checked if I may have had some damage to the brains, when Alex hit me.” Scotty starts to explain. “Since that day, I cannot…” he hesitates. “Kevin, I seem to have lost my ability to make a clear difference in taste. Everything tastes equally bland to me. It doesn’t matter if it’s pizza or potatoes or strawberry, I can’t hardly taste the difference.
That is why the food tonight was bad…. Kevin, I’m a chef-cook, it’s my life, my joy, the thing I do best. If I lose that….”
“What did the results say?”
“There is no physical damage. They believe it’s a psychological instead… A result of the attack.”
“Oh, my God. Now what?”
“They hope it’s just an effect of the trauma and it will ‘un-click’ on its own. But I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. I can’t move forward. I can’t pick up the pieces. I can’t put it behind me. I keep re-living it all, like some broken record playing in my head.”
“That is why, tonight, I wanted to make pasta…. I thought that if I’d finish what I had planned to do that night…. I’d be able to move on... unget past that moment where I’m stuck…. And it completely back-fired, because now things are even worse.”
“Worse? How can they be worse?”
“I’ve lost you.”
“You haven’t lost me. I’m right here. You don’t want me.”
“I do want you.” Scotty whispers. Silence.
“If I’m going to put my arm around you, nothing more, I swear, will you push me away again?”
“No.” Scotty’s answer is so determined that Kevin carefully puts an arm around Scotty. Scotty trembles like a leaf, as if he’s freezing cold, but, as promised, he doesn’t push Kevin away. Scotty looks at Kevin and with a sudden movement, he literally dives into Kevin’s arms.
He presses his face against Kevin’s chest and he feels Kevin’s arms closing around him. Kevin notices Scotty shake underneath his hands and he suddenly understands that Scotty is crying, soundless in the dark. He can only hear the sobs when Scotty catches his breath and tears now fill his own eyes. He holds Scotty close. That is all he can do until Scotty calms down.
He rubs Scotty’s back and kisses his hair. After what seems an eternity Scotty no longer cries, there is an occasional sob or sigh, but in general he seems to have calmed down. Kevin lets go of his hold on Scotty, not entirely sure if the embrace will still be welcome now that Scotty’s moment of crises seems to have passed.
“He touched me.” Scotty suddenly says and Kevin tenses.
“Yes…. He …. He touched me…..”
“Where? How?” Kevin’s voice sounds confused.
“My hands were tied up over my head. I couldn’t defend myself. I didn’t want it, he just did it. He… He undid my shirt and then my jeans, put his hands on me…”
“I felt so powerless, Kevin. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, I was so scared, that he would….”
He stops there, not daring to say it.
“Rape you?” Kevin tries, hating to mention the possibility. He can feel Scotty nod. “Say the word out loud, Scotty. He didn’t do it, did he?”
“No, …. No, he didn’t r…. rape me.”
“What did he do? Can you tell me?”
“He wanted to know if you knew how to please me and what I preferred… If I would go on my knees for you or if I like being inside of you and I could feel him against me, Kevin. He was … hard. And then he asked if I liked it to have you inside me and I lost it. I got aroused…”
It sounds so embarrassed, that Kevin really has to hold his laughter.
“I don’t get it. You’re upset, because you got aroused thinking of me?”
“Yes, but he was the one touching me, when I got aroused…” Scotty confesses and Kevin nods in understanding.
“So, did he …. Did he satisfy you?” Kevin really doesn’t want to know the answer to that question, but he has to know.
“No. It seemed to please him that I didn’t get initially aroused over his touching me until he made the suggestion of you and me having sex.” “What did he do then?”
“Dressed me again and then he gave me this drink, that tasted terrible and I felt sick. I wanted to throw up, but I couldn’t, my mouth was taped off. I thought I would suffocate.”
“And you fell asleep?”
“No. I fought the pills as much as I could. Fought the sleep. I didn’t want to die. And then he took me into his arms and started to rock me and a he … he sang me lullabies…. God, if I never hear another lullaby it will still be too soon.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. You were right tonight. You wouldn’t have rekindled your friendship with him if I hadn’t insisted. ”
“No, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. It wasn’t your fault anymore than it was mine. You didn’t ask for this, it happened to you. “Why didn’t you tell me this right after it happened?
“Couldn’t. You were feeling so guilty. And I thought I’d tell you, I you would ask me, but you never did.”
“I was waiting for you to tell me, because I thought that if I’d ask, you would think I was prying.”
There is a little silence between them, as the words sink in, then they both start to giggle.
“Well, that was pretty silly.” Scotty smiles through his tears.
“Yes, we handled that very well.” Scotty shifts position in Kevin’s arms, his fingertips caress Kevin’s face very gently. Scotty smiles as he gets on his knees between Kevin’s spread legs.
His hands cups Kevin’s face and he moves closer. Kevin holds his breath, his eyes are big with anticipation. Scotty’s breath is on his lips. There is a little hesitation, but then Scotty’s mouth covers his. And Kevin tries to keep his hands to himself, but they slip around Scotty’s waist by their own volition.
Kevin eagerly sucks Scotty tongue in. His hands grab the hem of Scotty’s shirt, twists it and pulls Scotty closer. Scotty uses his weight to push Kevin down on his back. Kevin moans as he feels Scotty’s body on his own. Finally! There’s a soft “hoh” escaping his lips when he feels Scotty’s mouth on his shoulder.
“Scotty!” Kevin’s outcry comes when Scotty grinds again him, he’s hard and ready. Scotty’s hand pull down Kevin’s short exposing his hard cock, but Kevin doesn’t mind. There is almost no one on the beach and even then, he’s too excited by having Scotty’s strong hands on him. But he loses himself when Scotty takes his own cock and lets it come in touch with Kevin’s.
He starts to move up against Scotty now, seeking release for all the tension of the last two weeks and Scotty is equally excited. He pushes Kevin deeper in the sand, his hand around both their cocks, hungrily kissing Kevin until, Kevin’s hand joins his and there’s nothing more but a little muffled squeak from Kevin as he comes all over Scotty’s hand, followed immediately by Scotty.
Still panting from the rush of the moment they caress each other and they need no further words when Scotty’s kisses Kevin deeply. When Scotty finally breaks the kiss, Kevin is breathing heavily. He looks at Scotty with stars in his eyes.
“I needed that.” He grins.
“Me too.” Scotty smiles, sliding off Kevin to give him some more oxygen. He rolls on his back and looks at the stars in the sky, while taking Kevin’s hand into his own. He brings it to his lips and presses a kiss on Kevin’s wedding-ring.
“I missed you.” He says softly to Kevin.
“I missed you too.” Kevin admits, turning on his side and letting his head rest against Scotty’s shoulder. “Can we go back to our little house? I’m tired, dirty, sticky….”
“We have an entire ocean to clean us.” Scotty replies.
“You mean a little night-swimming?”
“Yes.” Scotty gets up and starts to undress himself, while Kevin follows his every move, still in awe by how great Scotty looks. Scotty smiles and reaches out to Kevin. He gets up too and undresses. A little shy, because he still has issues with doing these public things, he lets Scotty guide him into the water.
The water is cold and refreshing and it doesn’t take long or they are back to kissing and hugging. Unable to let go of each other they touch and caress, but eventually they both agree it’s time to go back to their room at the hotel. They quickly get dressed and about to start their walk back when Scotty lets his hand slip into Kevin’s. Kevin smiles, holding on to it firmly.
The door closes behind Kevin and Scotty. Scotty turns on the light and the first thing they see is the blanket and pillow on the couch. Standing in the middle of the room, two meters apart, they look at each other. Kevin crosses his arms, out there on the beach, it had been perfect, almost another world, but reality came back under the harsh lights.
“Do you want me to leave tomorrow, so you can do this on your own?” Kevin asks.
“No.” Scotty answers.
“Still want me to sleep on the couch tonight?”
“No, not really.”
“Are you sure?” The insecurity is on Kevin’s face and Scotty is unable to say another word, but when he sees the fear in Kevin’s eyes, he knows he has to be honest.
“I don’t know, Kevin. I honestly don’t know. I can easily “yes”, but what if I can’t do it? What if I hurt you again? I love you, Kev, but I’m completely at a loss here.”
“Fair enough. Can I offer a compromise? We take it one day at a time and we keep the lines of communication open this time?”
“Stay with me tonight? I don’t know if I can …” Scotty looks for his words. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood for something more physical ….”
“Don’t worry. I’m not asking for more than you are willing to offer…” Kevin swears.
“I never thought you would, Kev.”
“Can I at least hold you in my arms?” Kevin then asks and the almost shy look on his face nearly breaks Scotty’s heart. He should not have had to ask for such a basic intimacy.
“I’ve missed being in your arms.” Scotty confesses. Kevin quickly smiles at him, but he’s feeling sad that they have become so uncomfortable with each other, but then Scotty’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “Kevin, I’m tired and I could use some sleep?”
Kevin follows Scotty to their bedroom, each to their own side of the bed and Scotty starts to undress. Kevin takes off his shirt and puts on the small chair, when he turns to Scotty, he can see Scotty in front of the long mirror, staring at himself. Scotty is not that vain and the way he is holding his t-shirt against his chest, it’s almost as if he’s afraid to look at himself.
“I noticed that you started to sleep with your clothes on. Would it make you feel safer if I kept on my t-shirt as well?”
“It wouldn’t make a difference. I am not afraid, but ashamed. Ashamed of what I let Alex do to me.” Scotty says softly and in a few steps Kevin is behind him.
In the mirror Scotty can see Kevin raise his hands and he expects the touch of loving hands on him, but instead, Kevin pulls back and takes a step backwards. Tears of disappointment well up in Scotty.
“Won’t you even touch me? Is what happened to me so repulsive to you?”
“No.” Kevin’s voice trembles. “I am just not sure if I’m allowed and I can’t stand it to get pushed away again. It hurts to see you like this and not be allowed to comfort you.” Scotty looks at Kevin in the mirror, he sees how Kevin reaches out to his shoulder, then balls his fist and backs off. He sees the desperation in Kevin. The same desperation he feels too.
“I need your touch.” Scotty says quietly. Kevin approaches him, he lets his hand rest at the base of Scotty’s neck before letting his fingers trace Scotty’s shoulder. Then his warm breath is on Scotty’s skin. Scotty shivers, knowing that next there will be a kiss, but when the kiss finally touches his shoulder, it’s still a shock to Scotty, because it’s so infinitely tender.
Kevin’s hands slip from Scotty’s waist over his belly to his chest. And Scotty moans because there is not where he wants Kevin’s hands to be. Over Scotty’s shoulder Kevin can see himself in the mirror. He can see his hands slide down Scotty’s belly further down and he can see how Scotty relaxes as Kevin’s hands push aside the elastic band of Scotty’s short.
Kevin teases Scotty with his hands, but when Scotty is really hard between his fingers, it’s suddenly not enough. He needs more. The short already landed on floor, right on top of Scotty’s t-shirt and now Kevin wants more. He turns Scotty in his arms and kisses his mouth with more strength then he intended.
For a moment he’s worried he might be too forceful and that Scotty will push him away and indeed Scotty moves away, but he takes Kevin with him. In 3 steps he’s on the bed and pulls Kevin on top of him, groaning at the weight, but immediately wrapping his arms and legs around Kevin to prevent Kevin from leaving his embrace.
Not that Kevin actually planned to go anywhere else. Their love-making is more fueled by desperation and need, than by tenderness, but neither of them care. Kevin crushes Scotty’s lips under his and Scotty hungrily asks for more as he pushes up against Kevin. Scotty moans Kevin’s name and Kevin takes Scotty’s face between his hands.
He is breathing heavily as is Scotty. He keeps moving his body rhythmically against Scotty’s, but a lot slower now, slower and deeper.
“Scotty, this is not enough, I need to be inside of you.” He whispers, not daring to ask how far Scotty is willing to go tonight.
If at all possible, Scotty can feel himself get even harder at Kevin’s request. Kevin has never asked him this before, it usually happens like a wordless agreement between them. His lips say the words “take me”, but there is no voice to go with those words, but the desire in Scotty’s eyes is all the approval Kevin needs.
He gets up and goes for the lube, still close to the bed, although so far unused.
“Scotty, If anything feels bad, if you’re scared, say it and I’ll stop. Alright?” Scotty nods, still too choked up with desire to make a sound. “Don’t do anything against your wishes. Alright?”
“I won’t, Kevin… now please….. please…. Oh!”
It takes Scotty’s breath away to feel Kevin inside him, his first thrusts careful, but slowly picking up speed as the pleasure on his face builds. It all feels just so good, until….
“Kevin! Stop! Stop, please.” The panic is obvious on Scotty’s face. Disappointed, but with an almost supernatural strength Kevin stops, ready to pull back. But Scotty stops him.
“No. Don’t leave me. Just… give me a few seconds… I just panicked, that’s all.” He trembles under Kevin’s hands, nearly in tears of frustration, but he holds on to Kevin. Kevin tries to calm down too, letting Scotty take the initiative in this. “Don’t stop from now on. Just take me.. I’m not going to let Alex ruin us.” Scotty whispers to Kevin.
“Don’t stop again until we’re done. No matter what I say.” Kevin’s insecure look makes Scotty smile. Kevin would never do anything against his wishes, unless he was told to do so… So Scotty presses himself up against Kevin as if to tease him “Remember! Don’t stop.” Scotty warns. And then Kevin starts to move and Scotty can only hold on to him.
Scotty lets every thrust wash through him, enjoying every one of them, giving himself to Kevin completely. He holds on to Kevin as he pushes deeper inside Scottty and he can feel Kevin’s lips on his skin. Then Kevin’s hand is between them, around him and the world stops turning. Scotty holds his breath as he goes over the edge, hardly aware that he’s taking Kevin with him.
Kevin pulls up the sheets and wraps it tightly around them, Scotty is in his arms and he doesn’t have another care in the world. Scotty smiles as he snuggles up even closer. Satisfied and lazy he draws patterns on Kevin’s chest, playing with the soft hairs and occasionally turning circles around a nipple.
“I missed this.” Kevin smiles contently. Scotty hums in agreement. Yes, he missed this too, but now it all feels right again.
“Turn off the lights?” He asks and he can feel Kevin stretch to the light-switch, but Scotty is too tired to lift his head and give Kevin more room to move.
The events, the strain of these last two weeks are catching up to him. Now that he has found his release and relaxes he realizes how tired he really he is. He can hear Kevin’s heartbeat very close to him and it sooths him. For the first time in two weeks he goes to sleep without hearing Alex sing him a lullaby. And Scotty doesn’t know it yet, but he’ll never hear it again.
Scotty wakes up because he’s cold. No, re-define that. He’s not in the same warm, caring place he was 10 minutes ago. He’s alone in the bed. It’s almost noon. He’s hungry and thirsty and he misses Kevin like crazy.
“Kevin?” He calls out.
“Just a moment! Will be right with you!” He hears. He falls back on the bed, runs his fingers through his hair and enjoys the feeling of the cool cotton sheets on his naked body. These last two weeks he had slept with clothes on. Short and shirt at least, because it had all felt so threatening to be naked.
God, how had he survived two weeks without intimacy with Kevin? Last night had been sensational and he feels that Kevin brought him back to life. He can’t help it, he lifts the sheet up and looking down his body, he sees the vague imprints of Kevin’s fingers, where he had held him as he had thrust into Scotty.
“Everything is still there, you know.” he hears a voice by the door say. Scotty peeks over sheet.
“Just checking.” He grins.
“I took a look, but you didn’t have anything I didn’t have myself.” Kevin winks, happy to hear Scotty’s laughter and happy to see those sparkling eyes looking at him mischievously.
“I ordered continental breakfast to our room.” Kevin goes on and Scotty looks him up and down.
“You opened the door like that?” He points at Kevin’s naked body. “Must have shocked the poor girl out of her wits.”
“Correction: it was a cute boy. And, no, I put on the bathrobe, but do you know how hot that thing is right now? So I took it off again.”
“Mmm, lucky me.” Scotty hums contently as he takes the plate with his sandwiches and his cup of tea from Kevin.
Kevin takes his own plate, but on turning back to Scotty he hears:
“Kevin! This is strawberry-jam.”
“I know, honey, you prefer apricot-jam, but...”
“No, no, you don’t get it. I can taste the difference.”
Then suddenly Kevin remembers what Scotty told him last night about not being able to taste properly.
“Everything I ate these last two weeks tasted like cardboard…. This…. This is delicious!” He laughs through his tears and Kevin jumps on the bed and kisses him with joy.
Scotty wraps his arms around Kevin, takes his down with him, so that Kevin is on top of him again.
“You did this. You cured me.” Scotty has a loving smile on his face.
“I think you ‘un-clicked’ when you started to talk about what happened last night.”
“Maybe. But I liked the idea, that you cured me, a lot more.
“Kinda like that too. Are you sure you don’t have other aches or pains….?” Kevin kisses Scotty’s lips with tenderness.
“Why?” Scotty asks, pushing his hips up against Kevin's.
“I wouldn’t mind giving you another shot of my medicine, you know.” Kevin grins as his hands push down the sheet to expose Scotty’s naked body. Scotty bites his lip and with a smile he replies:
“Mhmm, now that you mention it……”