About: Kevin/Scotty, and Alex Grodin (original character) and Ben (original character)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Brothers & Sisters or Kevin & Scotty, but Alex is mine and so is Ben.
Summary: A ghost from Kevin’s past returns.
They are both nervous and Scotty wishes he hadn’t talked Kevin into accepting this invitation after all, but the door swings open and there’s a hesitant smile on Alex’s face.
“Come in.” He says with a smile. “Ben has ordered dinner in the room. He isn’t feeling very good today, even his usual few hours of sleep didn’t do much good.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Scotty answers politely and with the right amount of interest.
“Could have been me. We never know, if one of us will have a bad day or not.” Alex’s voice is apologetic and Kevin cannot help being curious.
“What do you mean by that?” he asks.
“Both Ben and I are diagnosed with cancer, different ones, but still we’re both getting sicker and time is running out…. Please, don’t bring the subject up with Ben…. He depresses easily…” Alex’s voice is soft and concerned as he watches the door Ben is supposed to come from.
“Wow! Cancer?” Kevin is shocked and Scotty feels awkward.. “I’m sorry… I had no idea….”
“It’s alright, Kev, you had every right to be very angry with me. I betrayed your confidence and our friendship. I’ve been sorry about that ever since that day and I wanted to make it up to you and Ben gave me the chance and the money. He convinced me I should at least re-pay that debt I had to you.” Kevin nods in understanding.
Now that he takes a better look at Alex, Alex is indeed very skinny. His oversized shirt hides it, but Kevin can now also see that Alex’s face is not as filled out as it used to. He wears a little make up as if to distract the attention from his cheekbones to his eyes and again Kevin feels a little pang of sadness as he sees those brown eyes.
“Please, tell me, am I forgiven?” Alex asks, his eyes filled with hope and Kevin nods.
“Come here.” He says, yanking Alex into his arms and holding him close. And Alex replies by holding Kevin tight in return. “You’re an idiot.” Kevin whispers in Alex’s ear, his lips in Alex’s dark curls, “I would never have betrayed you. I loved you. You should have had faith in me.”
They let go of each other and Alex looks guilty before he answers:
“Trust me. At that time that was the safest decision for me … and you. And I really need you to forgive me. I don’t know when, or IF, I’ll be back in LA anytime soon…”
“Why? Where are you going….?” Kevin now asks, but before Alex can reply, the door opens.
“Is my Alex talking too much again?” Ben asks as he approaches Kevin and Scotty. Ben is taller than Scotty expected, but his voice is still kind and slow. He speaks as if he needs to weigh and taste every word before he says them. They shake hands and Alex is all bright laughter when he introduces Kevin to Ben.
Kevin has to admit that Alex seems very smitten with Ben. He helps Ben sit down, pours his drink, his smiles are for Ben mostly and not long after being introduced, dinner is brought to their room and the four of them eat on the balcony of Ben’s and Alex’s room. Their conversations go from topic to topic.
In a short period of time Kevin discusses his work for Robert, Scotty tells about San Esteph, Alex drops the names of some famous people he met in the jet-set of Europe years ago and Ben about his successful business in office supplies that he sold 5 years ago for a very good price that now allows him to go where he wants to go with ‘his’ Alex.
“Which reminds me..” Scotty starts.. “You were about to say that you were going somewhere? Just before Ben came in?” Alex’s beams with joy.
“Yes. First we’ll go away with the yacht for a few days.”
“I have a yacht.” Ben says modestly. “But I’ve sold it. Just one last tour….”
“And then….” Alex falls silent, holding up the suspense. “We’re off to Rio!” Kevin and Scotty gasp appropriately interested, neither of them having the desire to go there themselves.
“How long will you stay there?” Scotty asks.
“About two weeks, because we need some nice place to plan our holidays through Europe.”
“Europe?” Kevin asks astounded.
“Paris, London, Brussels, Amsterdam.” Alex sums up.
“Berlin, Rome also.” Ben adds and now Scotty does feel a bit envious. Kevin catches the look on his face and grins.
“Alex, Ben, you two are making Scotty jealous. He has something for French cathedrals.” Scotty laughs in spite of himself and after some explaining, (which leaves Scotty blushing, though Ben, Alex and Kevin agree, that the blush makes Scotty even look better) the dinner slowly comes to an end. And Alex gets up to prepare the desserts.
“Kevin, why don’t you go help Alex. I’m sure Scotty wouldn’t mind staying here and enjoy the view with me….?” It’s obvious that Ben wants Kevin and Alex to have some time together and Scotty nods at Kevin. Kevin goes inside to find Alex scooping ice-cream and putting it in glasses to make it look nice and festive. He gives Kevin a quick look.
“So? How are you really?” Kevin asks, his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans.
“Not good. Tired… Kev, I don’t want to be rude, but do you think it’s possible for you and Scotty to leave after dessert? I’m starting to feel drained of everything…”
“Sure.” Kevin replies.
“And thank you for coming here tonight. It meant a lot to me … Kev, I don’t know what you remember from that last night….?” Alex carefully asks and now that the question hangs between them, Kevin looks at him. Blue eyes meet brown eyes. Fear. Concern. Questions. Answers. Resignation. 17 years of guilt and pain and silence. It all passes between them.
“We got drunk. We had sex. You left. You took my money. That’s all.” Kevin lies. He sees the relief on Alex’s face.
“Yes… That’s all.” Alex then lies as well. “Kevin, I know I don’t deserve this, … there are so many things you don’t know about me….” Alex shakes his head.
“Maybe, Alex, we should not dredge them up, but leave them in the past, where they belong.”
“I just wanted you to know.... that I love you and I’ve regretted the pain I brought you, every single day….”
“Stop it. Not another word!" Kevin smiles. "It’s over and done with… Besides,… your ice-cream is melting…..”
“It is sad that Kevin and Scotty had to leave so early.” Ben smiles. “I really like them.”
“Well, you know. Just married, young lovers and such.” Alex laughs.
“I’m glad we did this. That we invited them.” Ben sometimes misses that. Parties, people, talking, having guests…
He loves Alex very much, but the fact remains that Alex is afraid of crowds, that too many people give Alex an anxiety attack.
“Yes, Kevin is terrific. One of the most important people in my life. It was good seeing him again. And Scotty was nice too.” Alex has to admit.
“Well, that gives us some more time together.” Ben now says, pulling Alex down on the couch.
“Ben! We can’t do it on the couch. What would the hotel-staff say?” he mocks Ben.
“I don’t care. They’ll be jealous of me, because I have a lover who can do it all night long.”
“Take me to bed,Tiger. And I will make love to you for hours.” Alex replies seductively.
“Hey, Kev, it’s two o’clock in the morning. Why don’t you come to bed?” Scotty asks softly. Kevin sighs, looking up at his husband.
“I don’t know, Scotty. I just don’t know if I made the right decision.”
“What do you mean?”
“That night he confessed a murder to me, Scotty. He told me he killed his father.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Then? Yes… Later? No…. Now? I don’t know.”
“What made you believe him then?”
“His anger, his hatred for his dad, but he was using painkillers at the time. Maybe it was just some warped fantasy of his…. God, I know about those. See, that is why I later never believed it really happened. I cannot imagine Alex really physically hurting someone. He would hurt objects not people. He hated physical fights, preferred to cut your tires instead….
For him to walk up to his dad and actually kill him....? Look at him and really hit him over and over again…? No, I don’t believe in that.”
“Then why do you doubt your decision now?”
“He seemed so scared…”
“If he’s innocent, he said something that could get him into an awful lot of trouble… And with his illness ‘trouble’ is the last thing he needs. If he’s guilty….”
“He’s not. I just don’t believe he did it.” Kevin says stubbornly.
“Good. Now that you agreed with yourself on that come to bed and get some sleep.”
Kevin laughs and switches off the light. Then he follows his husband to their bedroom. He looks as Scotty gets under the blanket and then he lies beside Scotty, who turns to him. He feels Scotty’s arms around him. And as he snuggles closer, the doubt he felt before sneaks back into his mind…..
END OF PART 5