About: Ryan Lafferty
Disclaimer: Brothers & Sisters is not mine, I know. Stop rubbing it
“Hello?” he hears her voice, irritated and worried. How can he say that it is him? The son of the other woman... who is not a son of the father he thought he had... His hand is firmly around the phone. What can he say? He wants to say something, because he feels he’s rude, for letting her pick up. And for him to not answer.
His father gave him the telephone number, and he threw it away. Angry with the painful truth about his mother and this... William Walker ..... But then he picked it out of the trash-can again, because, once cooled off, his curiosity got the better of him. And so he read the number over and over, folded and unfolded the tiny piece of paper a million times...
Until he knew the number by heart and one day he had simply, almost ‘by accident’, dialled the number... And he had nearly dropped his phone, when she replied. There was a woman on the other side. The other woman. The wife of the man his mother had slept with. She was real. Very real and Ryan had quickly switched it off as if he feared her.
The second time he dialled consciously. He was angry that day and he meant to tell her to leave him alone, to never talk to him, to never look for him. But once he heard her voice, warm and caring, the words got stuck in his throat. He opened his mouth, but there was no sound. There was just no way he could tell her it was him.
And so he keeps trying again and again, but this afternoon he knows he will talk. He MUST talk. For he cannot go on like this, there are too many questions left unanswered, and he needs to know. And so, with sweaty hands he calls again. He tries to breath calmly as he waits for the connection. For a moment he prays she’s not there.
But she is. She always is, when he calls her and he chokes up with fear again . He doesn’t want to talk to her, but he must. His hand tightens even more on the phone, as he watches the Ojai page on his computer-screen. And he hears her voice and he knows he must tell her it’s him.
“.... Hello?! .... Who is this?”
“Mrs Walker? Nora Walker?” As if he doesn’t know....
“Speaking.” She seems calm and awaiting.
“This is Ryan. Ryan Lafferty....” There! He finally admits it’s him.