the random word generator: essence
Disclaimer: Brothers & Sisters is not mine, I know. Stop rubbing it in. Follow up to random word generator: inevitable and questioning
The musical is great. Both he and Scotty enjoyed it. The songs are catchy, the words are witty and quick. And they both leave the theater with a broad smile on their faces. For a while they discuss their opinions, but then there’s a silence between them, as Scotty and Jason return to Jason’s car.
Once they are in the car, Scotty checks for messages. He reads with a serious face what Kevin texted him. Jason checks for good measure as well. But there’s nothing for him. Robert obviously didn’t deem it necessary to keep him informed. Scotty sighs.
“Kevin will be back around midnight. He and Robert had dinner together.”
Jason nods. It makes sense.
“So? Do you want me to drop you off at Robert’s office?”
“Is it inconvenient for you to take me to the loft? I went to Robert’s office by bus, expecting to return with Kevin.”
“No. It’s no problem….” Jason shrugs. In the darkness they are quiet for a while until Jason clears his throat and hesitantly asks: “Can I ask you another question?”
“Sure.” Scotty replies.
“How…? How often did Kevin cheat on me?” Jason’s voice sounds little to Scotty.
“To my knowledge… just once… with me. We.. We were drunk… That’s no excuse, just a reason. If we would have been sober… I wouldn’t have let it happen and Kevin…? Kevin would never have pushed the issue with me. But we were both lonely… we both needed someone to give us a feeling we mattered…. The champagne merely served as a way to lower our mutual reservations..”
“Did he regret it? Did he … care? That he cheated on me? Or was it just unimportant to him?"
“He… I…” Scotty searches for his words…. “I’m not sure. It was all so confusing. I think, he was sorry that he cheated on you, but that he didn’t regret sleeping with me. I think he felt he should have broken up with you first before sleeping with me.. Which he didn’t do.….”
That was in essence what Jason needed to hear. That Kevin had felt guilty, really had thought it through, that he had considered all his options, that Scotty was aware of his own responsibility.
“Can I ask you a very private question…? You don’t have to answer, if you feel I cross the line of what you’re willing to answer to.”
“No, go ahead. Ask away. I’ll see if I can answer.”
“Did you two….? God, how do I ask you this? … Did the two of you sleep with each other straight away from then on…? I guess, I want to know… I want to know…” but Jason cannot finish his sentence, not sure if he really wants to know the answer. Scotty gives a deep sigh.
“Honestly, Jason. I’m not sure what you’re asking… But I’ll be honest. If your question is whether Kevin and I slept together straight away. Yes, we did. We deflated the air-bed, folded it and put it back in storage… If your question means that you want to know if Kevin and I had sex straight away. No. We did not.
I wanted to take it slow. For the simple reason, that it all went too fast for me. I went from room-mate to boyfriend in two days. I didn’t want to be the rebound-guy either. And a part of me was convinced that Kevin would fall for you again in and when you returned… So, no, I kept him sexually away from me… for about a week.”
Alright, this way more information then Jason wanted to have, but Scotty wasn’t finished:
“If you question is “Was I that easy to forget?”, then the answer would be "hell no!". Some of your belongings were still at the loft. I kept feeling like an ‘house-guest’ rather than Kevin’s new partner. And it took Kevin, … and me …, some time to get over you.
Kitty’s wedding was hard. I went from being ‘just a friend’ to ‘oh, that’s the other one’ and your family was not exactly that forgiving, although they pointed most of their arrows at Kevin, rather than me. So, you had a major impact on Kevin and me. And I wasn’t thrilled when you came back….” Scotty ends with a sour tone in his voice.
“I hadn’t noticed that, when you barged in on that meeting between Kevin and me at the loft.” Jason starts to laugh and even Scotty has to smile at the memory.
“Yeah, that was really embarrassing… I’m really sorry.”
“It was actually entertaining… And I was impressed, that you wanted to ‘fight’ this out.”
The car turns around the corner and there is the entrance to the building where Kevin and Scotty live. Jason parks and leans back.
“You were really worried, weren’t you? That day?”
“Yes. Scared to death.” Scotty answers honestly.
“Why? When I talked to Kevin on the phone, he made it very clear to me, that you were the only one for him and that he didn’t want to continue anything with me. And I believed him straightaway, because I caught him completely off guard. And he spoke with such passion about you, that I just knew the words came from his heart. I never doubted that he chose you and only you.”
Scotty remains quiet for a while. That was the essence that he had needed to know. That Kevin had made his choice way back then, on the phone with Jason and not after that awful dinner at their loft. He smiles, suddenly at peace with a lot of subjects from the past.
“Jason, care to join me for a last drink at the loft?” he then asks.
TO BE CONTINUED....