Disclaimer: Brothers & Sisters is not mine, I know. Stop rubbing it in.
It starts good, with this feeling of floating on water. Justin likes that feeling. Floating on water is about as carefree as he can get and that is usually the first sentiment he feels. He’s lazy, his arms heavy and so are his legs. He’s just floating, no longer on water, but on something and it just feels good.
He closes his eyes, fighting the urge to fall asleep. He’s wide awake, he knows, but he wants to sleep. There’s a faint worry that maybe he took too much this time, but he feels too heavy to do something about it anyway... And what if it was too much... Who cares? His room turns to a warm shade of green.
He likes the green, until he discovers that he loves the bit of orange creeping in from the corner of his eyes even more. His room is slowly twisting, but it doesn’t scare him. His room does that more often. He waits a bit longer and then he sees all the walls and his belongings get auras. Bright and cheerful in all colours of the rainbow....
His eyes. He can hardly keep them open. He closes them and sinks away in darkness, black and endless... endless.... endlesssss... Bright lights!!! People yelling! The smell of blood and dust and heat!! Justin moans. No! He doesn’t want to be here! Not again! There is blood spilling from a torn-off leg and the stain gets bigger and bigger. It reaches Justin’s feet.
He tries to get to the soldier lying in the middle of the road, but he slips on the blood and falls, he calls out for help, but everyone just stands there, laughing at him as he tries to get up, tries to reach the bleeding soldier, tries to give help, but he keeps slipping and falling as if he’s in some old slapstick-movie. He moans sinking deeper in desperation, laughter ringing in his ear.
He can hear a voice call him, someone slapping his face, but he can’t move. It’s dark again. Dark and peaceful. He hears voices, his mother’s, Kitty’s, Tommy’s. He sees his father standing further away from him. William looks at him. With pity and disdain. William shakes his head slowly as if he cannot understand what he sees. Then he turns around and walks away from Justin...
Justin is alone in the dark again. He makes himself as small as possible. Suddenly desperate. He wants out. He wants back into the light. He thinks of Nora, of Sarah and Joe, of Paige and Cooper and Tommy and Julia and Kitty and Kevin. He needs them, he wants to be with them, he wants out of this darkness.....
He opens his eyes with a shock. The ceiling above him is white. The walls have a soft colour he cannot identify. There is light and sound. Beeping sounds... He slowly dares to move his head and sees machines.... He’s in the hospital... He can hear Nora’s voice asking for something and he hears the reply:
“Mrs Walker, you’re son took an overdose... We will see how he is, when he wakes up.....”