About: Scotty, Jordan, Mario with reference to Chad Berry
Disclaimer: Not mine, I know, stop rubbing it in. Done with love, not for money
Summary: Not only The Skinny Minnie wonders about Chad.
Extra info: After the gossip-magazine finds out about Kevin/Chad in 1.16
“Did you read the Skinny Minnie?” Jordan asks with a huge smile. Mario shakes his head.
“Anything important?” He asks in return.
“Chad Berry.” Jordan says triumphantly. Scotty looks up, there’s a name he didn’t want to hear.
“Who?” Scotty’s voice is slightly higher pitched than intended.
“Chad Berry. According to Dan Silk, he’s gay.” He places a printed sheet on the table and Jordan is immediately showing it to Scotty. Reluctantly he takes the sheet. He’s not sure he wants to read this. Especially not after seeing a familiar face with Chad on the picture. Kevin’s face. Scotty can hardly breathe. Chad looks as handsome as he did on Valentine’s day. Kevin looks disinterested. Scotty can’t blame him. The lamp is ugly and gay.
He remembers Kevin’s “Chad…!” on the phone, so there’s no guessing for it anymore. It’s obvious to him that Kevin and Chad are having an affair. Mario has been reading along over Scotty’s shoulder, he shakes his head and declares:
“I don’t believe it. How could he be gay? No way. Just wishful thinking, you guys.” For a moment Scotty looks up at him. Is he kidding?
“Have you ever met him?” Scotty asks Mario and Jordan, but they both shake their heads. “I have, recently, at a party. He was there with his girlfriend.”
“He has a girlfriend?” Jordan says disappointed.
“Michelle. She invited me.”
“Really? Did he say something to you?” Jordan is so curious.
“We just shook hands….”
“Do you think he’s gay?” Mario’s now interested as well and Scotty is known to have the best gaydar of them three. Scotty suddenly feels protective of Kevin, ridiculous as it may be. If Chad hasn’t come out yet, then Kevin is choosing to live a lie and be happy with that. What makes him feel bad is, that he considers this the proof he needs, that Kevin only slept with him to make Chad jealous.
Scotty shrugs, not wanting to show how deeply this is effecting him and why.
“Don’t know…. He was gay-friendly, but I’m not sure if…” he tries to deflect.
“Oh, come on, Scotty. Give us hope….. Or sink us in despair….” Scotty laughs out loud at Jordan’s comment.
“I think he might be, but let’s face it, Jordan. I don’t think he’s coming out of the closet any time soon. He earns his living as a straight actor. And he’s not good enough to make it as an ‘out’-actor. So, if he’s smart, he will keep going for the cash, rather than something else. And any lover of his will have to wait and I feel sorry for that guy…” Scotty replies thoughtful, thinking of Kevin, but then he continues with a smile…
“…and, sweetheart, I hate to say it, but you wouldn’t stand a chance to get him….” Scotty smiles at Jordan. “…not as long as Kevin is with him anyway….” He thinks, but he cannot say those words.
Walking back home, Scotty wonders about Chad and Kevin. It didn’t make any sense. He had no doubt that Chad was gay or that Kevin was involved with Chad, but it never seemed to him, that Kevin would be satisfied with being put back in the closet. He knows, he never really understood Kevin that well, but he somehow always hoped that in some way, some day he and Kevin would just…
He cannot finish his thoughts. He broke up with Kevin, made it very final. There was no reason for Kevin to assume that he was still interested, other than perhaps his eagerness to jump back into bed with Kevin at Valentine’s. Or did Kevin really believe that he would be so easy…? That Scotty was just in it for the sex? With just anybody, hell, even an ex?
Had he given Kevin reason to think he was easy? Now this question haunts his mind. He sighs. Since their break-up, he hasn’t had ONE day where somehow Kevin didn’t pop up in his mind. He never believed you could actually miss someone to a degree that it physically hurts. Really hurts. He tries not think about it as he looks for his keys to go to his own apartment.
Back in his own little bedroom, he stares at the empty bed. He remembers sharing it with Kevin a few times, although they would usually sleep together at Kevin’s place. Closing his eyes he can still see the sun coming in, in the morning, waking Kevin and Kevin turning over to see where he was, as he just came in from the small kitchen, carrying of cups of hot coffee. Half naked, the blue eyes seemingly more blue in the sunlight, the ruffled hair….. So willing, so available.
Scotty opens his eyes and the image is gone, all he holds in his hand is the crumpled up print out of the gossip-site Jordan got the news from. Kevin and Chad. Chad and Kevin. It will never be Kevin and Scotty again and Scotty will have to face that. He shreds the paper once, twice, three times, until there’s nothing left but tiny little pieces, but it doesn’t really help.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts……