Disclaimer: Brothers & Sisters is not mine, I know. Stop rubbing it in.
The wave crashes over him. He loses his grip on his surfboard and seems to tumble and tumble. He no longer knows which side is up. So he just relaxes and let his board, attached to his ankle, drift back up and his body follows. It’s not like he hadn’t seen it coming, he knew he would not be able to make those last few meters, so he took a large gulp of breath, before being wiped out.
But getting back to surface seemingly takes longer than expected and his lungs burn with need for air. For one moment he fears he's drowning, then he sees the sky coming at him. Closer and closer to the surface and then…. Fresh air!!!! He breaths it in with all his power, crawling back on his board and he paddles back to deeper water.
The ocean around him is a sea of glistening light, the sun on his suit is warm and he paddles further. Here on the water he can forget a lot, but not everything… This is where he dreamed to be during those long days and nights in Afghanistan and Iraq, when the oppressive heat would make him long for these refreshing waters.
Here is where he remembers William… Not the man who hurt his mother to the core of her very being, not the man who had made all sorts of stipulations regarding Justin in his will, not the man who had put Sarah and Tommy on opposite sides to each other, not the man who never saw Kevin as a man like any other, not the man who had seemingly loved Kitty the most.
Not the adulterer, the embezzler, the man with illegitimate children that he had become after his death. Here is where Justin remembers his father, the man who he had taught to surf, who had paddled beside him several years ago. His eyes had been as blue as the ocean. Joy had put a sparkle in them, the smile on his face had been large and sincere.
This is where Justin remembers his own pride at seeing his dad by his side. But it’s getting harder and harder to recapture those moments. They seem to fade away, adrift on the ocean and it seems with that every discovered secret Justin finds it harder and harder to find his father here.
Sitting on his board he looks around. Again and again, but he cannot see William anymore, he cannot find the sparkle, the blue eyes, the smile, the pride. His shoulders sink, he lies down on the board, letting his cheek rest on the board and slowly he starts to move his hands. He drifts back to the shore, happy that the salty sea washes away his tears as he realizes his beautiful memories of his father are drowning here, just like everywhere else.