Rate: Not sure yet...
Disclaimer: Written with love, not for money..
Summary: I have no clue just yet...
Scotty wakes up from a confusing dream. He feels all sweaty and sticky. He can’t remember what the dream was all about, but he has the impression that it was all very muddled with people, things, events and moments all mixed up with flashy images. He must have been a bit restless during his sleep as well.
He can tell by the way that Kevin has his arm around him, that his sleep hadn’t been peaceful. It’s a result from the car-crash that eventually killed Robert. Scotty and Kevin had both suffered quite some heavy nightmares and they had sought to protect each other from their terrible dreams.
It was during that period that Scotty had grown aware that he would wake up in Kevin’s arms if he had suffered nightmares and that he had ended up holding Kevin when Kevin’s night had been restless. It had seemed to happen automatically and in their sleep. And for a long time it had given Scotty the impression that, no matter how dark the times were, they’d make it through.
Until the opening night of Café 429 that is… Scotty closes his eyes, feeling bile come up. How could he have been so stupid? … No, don’t think like that. It’s over and dealt with. Kevin had forgiven him for the cheating, he had forgiven Kevin for not being there when he had needed Kevin. Let bygones be bygones.
He carefully picks up Kevin’s arm and slips from underneath it, then he slowly puts Kevin’s arm back on the mattress, happy that Kevin doesn’t wake up. As quietly as possible he gets out of the room and he sneaks to the kitchen to warm up some milk. He knows that he won’t get back to sleep now anyway.
He turns on the light on the back porch and enjoys the silence, the pleasantly warm night and the constant murmur of the ocean. He slowly drinks his hot mild, letting it warm up his body. He closes his eyes as he leans back.
“Drinking without me?” A voice softly asks. Scotty smiles without opening his eyes.
“I thought I had left you asleep.” Scotty’s voice is equally soft, as if he’s afraid to wake up someone else.
“Missed you the moment you were gone, took me a few minutes though to figure out you weren’t coming back.” Kevin leans over and places a kiss on Scotty’s forehead.
“See you that got some milk as well.”
“Mind if I join you?” Kevin asks.
“No. But I was enjoying the silence, to be honest.”
“Then I’ll be very quiet.” Kevin promises.
Scotty smirks, wondering how long Kevin can keep up ‘being very quiet’. Not very long, no doubt. Yet, he’s surprised when it takes longer than he thought. When he looks to his side, he can see Kevin sitting there, eyes closed, drink in hand and breathing very slowly and regularly.
Just when Scotty thinks that Kevin has fallen asleep, Kevin opens his eyes and turns his head to look at Scotty, as if he had known or felt or expected that Scotty was looking at him. Scotty can see a satisfied smile on Kevin’s face.
“You’re happy, aren’t you?” Scotty asks.
“I am. For the first time in a long time I feel completely relaxed.” Kevin admits.
“Glad to know that this holiday was a good idea.”
“It was. For once, we’re not followed by killers, not involved in accidents or tangled up in other disasters. No family to claim our time together. There’s just ... us, you and me…”
Scotty reaches out to Kevin and their fingers thread together, both happy with how calm their holidays actually is. Hand in hand they continue their drinks in silence, knowing that they had reached that point in their lives where no words were needed to be comfortable with each other and silence can be there without the pressure to talk.
Candace looks over her shoulder. Her eyes are glaring, but the man in the bed doesn’t notice. He’s too busy snoring so loudly that Candace could never fall asleep again after having woken up. She looks back at her mirror. A small, but harsh, unflattering light makes her look like a ghost, that is how pale she looks under the light.
She takes her out her earrings. She had forgotten about them before going to bed and they bother her now, because they’re so heavy and unpleasant. She can never wear them for more than 8 hours and not end up feeling like her earlobes are about to be torn off.
And she had to wear them tonight, for a party at a friend’s house. The earrings are big, obnoxious and very present. Just like her husband is. She takes a deep breath and slowly lets go of the air, it’s a trick that’s supposed to calm down her nerves, but it’s not really working.
Carlin’s snoring stutters, his lips smacking as if he’s eating something delicious, then he resumes his snoring. Candace shrugs. What can she do? She has no option but to sleep in the guest-room tonight, if she would like to get sleep of her own. She grabs her pillow from the bed and walks out the door.
She opens the door of the guest-room. She knows the bed is made up and ready. This isn’t the first time she's here. In the dark she flings her pillow on the bed and she sits down on the side of the mattress. For the millionth time she wonders when her life had become so miserable.
It hadn’t always been like this. When Carlin had bought this house in the early 70s, she had felt like a queen in her castle. Carlin had been a wonderful husband, who treated her like she had been the most precious diamond in the world. He had loved her, taken her on holidays, he’d buy her flowers and other gifts. They had been so much in love.
The house was big, had the capacity to entertain a lot of people… And Carlin had loved to show off his beautiful wife, his amazing house and his expensive car. And the parties… Oh, the weekends they had had. Plenty of food and drinks, women and men dressed up in beautiful, colorful clothes, laughter, … and Cherry…
Tears well up. Beautiful Cherry. Always fun to have around and such a strong shoulder to cry on later in life. Candace had been only 2 months younger than Cherry and their friendship had been almost instantaneous.
The 70s had been the age of partying and spending money, something they had plenty of. Carlin had earned a good income and Candace had never had to work a single day in her life. All she ever had to do was be ‘the perfect wife’. And she was. She still is. Or, at least, she’s trying. Because it’s not that simple anymore. Like her friends, she has grown older and she grew up.
She can’t remember exactly when, but at some point she had wanted a child. Something that Carlin flatly forbade. He wanted to be free to go where he wanted and whatever he wanted was law. She had cried, begged, threatened, blackmailed and charmed, but nothing had worked…
That is where the loneliness had begun. She had wanted the pitter-patter of children’s feet, she had longed for reading stories in bed, holding her bathed child in her arms, the child still smelling of delicious shampoo.
Her dreams had varied between having a son who would be excellent in sport, to having a daughter, prettier than any other princess in the world. She could never make up her mind which one she wanted the most. A boy or a girl. Perhaps both?
Eventually, she had thrown caution to the wind and decided to give up on the pill. Once she’d be pregnant, she was sure that Carlin would grow to love the baby as well. But month after month nothing happened. Each time she was just a day late, her hopes would be sky-high, only to crash down again a day or two later…
At her wit’s end, she went to her doctor… Candace closes her eyes, her cheeks turn bright red with humiliation all over again. The doctor had only smiled at her… And then he had explained that getting pregnant would be impossible unless she cheated on Carlin. Carlin had had a vasectomy two years ago.
It had happened the day before he had to go to Europe for his work. A job that would keep him there for a few months. By the time he came back, it was all over. He had never said a word to her about it. She assumes that the doctor must have thought that she knew, but that she hadn’t understand the implications. Everyone always thought she was stupid.
But Candace had understood, and she had cried so loud, in the car, on the way back to her house. She was in no-win situation. She would never a child of her own, unless she cheated on Carlin and she could never do that. She loved him too much. She never told him she knew what he had done. The only person she ever told the truth to was Cherry.
Candace’s heart was broken, her trust in Carlin shattered and her dreams gone. From that time her life had slowly become empty, the parties became insignificant, the size of the car no longer relevant, her looks left her indifferent and the house was no longer a home, but just a pile of bricks.
Carlin most likely never realized what had caused the change in Candace. He never told her the truth, she never told him she knew. They grew apart, the silences got heavier, the distance between them grew bigger until she had stopped loving him altogether, but she saw no way out.
By then she had been in her 50s, she had no source of money of her own, she had never really worked a day in her life and she had no idea how to get out and start anew. She was trapped in this house, in this marriage and in this life…
The inevitability of it all crushes her and she feels like she needs for fresh air. The room is still dark, when she opens the doors to the balcony. The ocean looks so pretty in the moonlight and she takes a deep breath, hoping that, once she’s back in bed, she’ll catch her sleep again.
Her thoughts get disturbed by a noise and she looks at Cherry’s home where the noise is coming from. The light on the back-porch is on. She can see how Kevin bends over and kisses Scotty’s forehead, before he sits down next to Scotty.
She gets her binoculars and manages to zoom in on the two men. She can’t hear anything, but the voices don’t always carry that far anyway. Then she sees Scotty reach out to Kevin, and Kevin taking Scotty’s hand. She lowers her binoculars, suddenly feeling like she’s spying on them.
She turns away from them and goes back into her room, where she gets in bed, with the image of Kevin and Scotty holding hands in the semi-darkness still on her mind. Love, respect, happiness.. the two men had oozed that when she had met them.
Such a handsome couple. She can’t help but smile when thinking of them. Once Carlin and she had been like that…. Once. A long time ago... She can only hope that Kevin and Scotty will do better in their marriage than she had in hers.
END OF PART 11/??