marea67 (marea67) wrote,
marea67
marea67

Fanfic: Kevin/Scotty from A to Z - Q - Questions

Kevin/Scotty from A to Z - Q - Questions

By Marea67
About:
Kevin
Rate: G
Disclaimer: Written with love, not for money
Summary: Somewhere during 5.07 between Sarah's house and meeting in Scotty's kitchen again, Kevin takes a moment to raise a few questions.


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

*****

Did you know?
Did you suspect?
That I was the one lying to you?
That while I said that I had a meeting, I was really getting drunk in a bar?

Did you truly think I had given up on you and on what we have?
Did you really think I didn’t care?
That I wasn't proud of you had accomplished, mostly without much help from me?

Oh, why had I not been able to convey all my feelings to you and just tell you, what I know now: that you were my light in the dark? Why could I not confess to you that you were my only reason for getting out of bed in the morning and go on living?

Do you really feel that I consume all the oxygen in the room?
Or I was trying to take the headlines?
Can you believe I never thought of the possibility that you'd be worried about me?
That it never occurred to me that you needed me?

And have I taken it so for granted that you always care for me that I no longer notice it?
I mean, where was I in all this?
And how come I didn’t notice?
Now, looking back, I can see the signs, so why didn’t I see them before?

Was I really that blind to your confusion?
To your guilt?
Or was I just too scared to admit to myself that something was missing in our relationship?
Afraid that I would have to accept that the problem is me, and not you?

And why did you have to tell the truth after all, just when things got better?
Wouldn’t we have been better off not knowing?

Probably not, but we’d be in less pain now, ... right?

Where do we go from here?
Can we trust again?
Can we survive?
Can we change?
Can we forgive?
Can we move on?
As a couple?

Do you really love me?
Can I still love you?

Isn’t it weird how I can only answer the last two questions with certainty?

Yes. You really love me.  I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your voice. I know that you're fighting for what we once had and what we could still have, if I let it happen.
Yes. I want it to happen. because I still love you. With all my heart.

Can we?

THE END

/
Tags: 2015, character - kevin, series - a to z kevin and scotty
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