Disclaimer: Written with love, not for money
Summary: Should he do it? Scotty weighs his options. Set somewhere after 2.08
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Scotty stares at his air mattress, wondering what he should do next. It’s not like Kevin has promised him love eternal yet, even though Kevin is sincerely giving Scotty time and space to come to his own conclusions. However, since Kevin has said to him that he wanted another try with Scotty, Scotty’s feels like his emotions are all over the place.
In fact, in the bad moments, he still wonders if he’s just some rebound-guy and he’s afraid Kevin is not really over Jason. And if Jason would come back, it would require only one smile from Jason for Kevin to forget all about Scotty. In the bad moments, no matter how often Kevin tells him that he wants Scotty, Scotty doesn’t fully believe him.
In the good moments, however, he’s convinced that Kevin is honest with him this time. At those moments Scotty just knows that Kevin has made his decision and that he will not go back on it, even if Jason would return. Because Kevin is in love with him and not with Jason. Not anymore.
He picks up his cup of tea and he takes a sip. It had felt good to be back in Kevin’s arms, to be in his bed, to feel Kevin’s lips on his own…. But… After all the time he had spent listening to Kevin talking about Jason and about how wonderful Jason was, he cannot imagine that Kevin forgot about Jason this easily.
He wants to believe it, because he had never managed quite well to get over Kevin. Not even after they had slept together, that Valentine, had his feelings for Kevin cooled off. His heart, his body, his mind, yes, he believes even his soul had begged to get back with Kevin somehow, someway, someday.
He’s happy, because he has come to realize how much he loves Kevin and getting this second chance at happiness is what he had dreamed of, it’s everything that he had wanted, but hadn’t dared to hope for. And, yet, at the same time… There’s this nagging doubt if he can trust Kevin with his heart. He doesn’t want it broken again.
And now he feels he just has to make a decision. He can’t go on with alternating between the air-mattress and Kevin’s bed. At some point he has to stop doubting Kevin. And himself. At some point he has to make a decision. At what point will he finally dare to permanently clear up the mattress? Just fold it up and let it go?
He gets up from his chair and walks into the bedroom, where Kevin’s bed awaits. Deep inside he knows that being in Kevin’s arms is where he wants to be... But Kevin has hurt him before… Even if some of what has happened has been his own fault as well…. Scotty closes his eyes.
Kevin’s fingers caress his skin, he can feel his entire body respond to the soft touch. His lips part. Their kiss is warm, sensual, loving, sweet. He can feel Kevin get on top of him. He lets his hands run down Kevin’s back, pulling Kevin’s body closer to his own. Hardness to hardness and then…
Scotty turns away from the sight of the bed. So, he can’t deny feeling lust when it comes to Kevin. But is it love? Is it enough to give it another try? He isn’t sure that if he would survive getting his heart broken again. But then, of course, nothing in life is sure. Should he really give up his chance on happiness?
His phone suddenly rings and Scotty can see that it’s Kevin calling him.
“Hey.” He says. He can almost hear Kevin’s smile on the other side.
“I’m done here. It was faster than I thought. How about I pick up some pizzas and you pour some wine and we’ll make it an early night?” Kevin suggests.
“Sounds good to me.” Scotty smiles. There’s a little silence between them.
“I… I …” Kevin stammers. Scotty holds his breath. “...I can’t wait to be home.... With you.”
“Get here quickly then. I’ll get wine.” Scotty smiles and he lets go of the breath he’s been holding. He relaxes, realizing he hadn’t been quite ready to hear an “I love you” just yet. He doesn’t quite believe that Kevin has made a real choice, but his panic that Kevin might say ‘I love you’ proves to him that maybe he isn’t ready for a commitment either.
He puts away his phone, walks over to the air-mattress and pulls out the plug. His mind is made up. If he isn’t ready, and Kevin isn’t either, they might as well wait until they are. And if he has to wait, why not make the wait a comfortable one. One where they can be together. In one bed.