Kevin/Scotty from A to Z - N - NegativeBy Marea67
Written with love, not for moneySummary:
Kevin and Scotty get their HIV-test-results back... only to find out that Scotty's infidelity is still in their thoughts.
I wanted to post this for World AIDS day, but it was such a strange weird day that I'm slightly late. I'm sure that it's still 1 December somewhere in the world though....
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N
O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
“Negative.” Kevin lets out the breath that he feels he’s been holding for days. “Test-results came back negative. I know it’s not that weird, because …” He stops, decides to think before he speaks and then finishes. “I’m just glad that the HIV-test came back negative.” Scotty doesn’t answer. Kevin hesitates to ask. “And …?”
Scotty bites his lip. There was time when Kevin wouldn’t have asked Scotty. A time when they both would have been certain that if one wasn’t sick, the other one wouldn’t be either. Now, one stupid mistake had taken away that innocence. It would never be the same again.
“It’s negative…” Scotty answers. He would have liked to add ‘naturally’ to his words, but it’s no longer ‘naturally’ for Kevin. Kevin had believed that Scotty would be the faithful one and as long as he would remain faithful to Scotty, things would be alright. But Scotty’s confession had changed all that.
And even though it’s been four years, doing their tests had never been ‘just like spring-cleaning’ again. Where they had once merely arrogantly shrugged at the test, with a knowledge that, considering neither of them would screw up, everything would be alright, there was now this unspoken concern that maybe one of them had ... slipped up...
Scotty turns away, throws his letter on the table and starts to prepare coffee. Kevin watches Scotty’s mood-change with concern. He picks up the letter, fearing that maybe there’s something Scotty isn’t telling him, but the results state specifically that it’s negative.
“What’s wrong?” Kevin asks therefore.
“Nothing.” Scotty answers.
“Let’s not do this.” Kevin says tiredly. “I know something isn’t right. Just tell me. Please, I’m not in the mood to do this ‘yes, there is, no, there isn’t’- thing we usually do.”
“It’s nothing.” Scotty insists. “I’m just mad at myself for having made one
stupid mistake that would forever change the way we do this.” When he sees on Kevin’s face that Kevin has no clue what he’s talking about, he sighs: “Remember, before the accident, before we knew about Jonathan, before we knew about Saul?
We were so casual about this. Getting tested was practically a joke. I remember how you even joked to Saul that you could never be sure where I had been tramping around, because the thought that I would actually cheat on you… It never occurred to you. You trusted me.”
“And I trust you today. It took a while, but…”
“Exactly! It should not
have taken a while to get it back, I should not
have cheated on you. I should have told you sooner. Straightaway even… He could have made me sick. I could have transferred it to you. I could have…” Kevin shuts Scotty up with a gentle kiss.
“You didn’t.” He points out the obvious.
Scotty shakes his head. He knows he hadn’t. He knows that Kevin doesn’t have HIV or any other diseases. But things could have been so different.
“I should have told you straightaway. I just thought our marriage wouldn’t survive if I did.
I was so focused on that aspect and on trying to forget what had happened between him and me... I never even thought about the consequences it could have on you. I never even thought about it. Not even with Saul getting more involved with the information-centre, I never thought in all sincerity that I could get HIV or AIDS. It's so naïf of me to think that way. I should have known better.”
“I guess it’s only natural. You don’t want to think about these things.”
“But I should have. By sleeping with someone else, I put your life on the line as well. What if I would have been responsible for transferring it to you? To know that I made you sick as well? I don’t know how…” Scotty is visibly frustrated and angry with himself.
“Stop thinking like that! You’ll drive yourself crazy. Yes, you shouldn’t have cheated on me and, maybe, you should have told me sooner, but … let’s not dwell on this. He didn’t give it to you. And you didn’t pass it on to me. Let’s be grateful for that and let this simply be a good reminder, to both of us
, not to screw up what we have.”
Kevin cups Scotty’s face in his hands and forces him to look at him.
“I love you. And it took a while, but I trust you. We’re both negative. Let’s be grateful for that. And let’s remind ourselves that there are others out there, who are not that lucky. And who will need our love, our support and our care and not our condemnation.”
Scotty nods at Kevin’s words. He gives Kevin a thin little smile. Kevin kisses him once again and lets go of Scotty.
“Come on, we promised Saul we’d give him a hand at the centre this afternoon.” Kevin reminds Scotty.
Scotty nods, but when Kevin tries to turn away, he can feel Scotty pull him back. This time it’s Scotty who kisses him. A long, warm and gentle kiss. He wraps his arms around Kevin and pulls him closer…
“Are we sure that Saul can’t wait? … Just a little bit?” He asks and Kevin smiles.