Disclaimer: The boys aren’t mine.
Summary: This is what you get when you think for others.
Because it was Luke Macfarlane's birthday yesterday
Scotty closes the door of their apartment behind him and he quickly goes into the bedroom where he finds Kevin. He puts a hand on Kevin’s shoulder and, startled, Kevin jumps up.
“I’m sorry. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to know…” Kevin shakes his head.
He’s clearly hurting and Scotty moves closer to him. He takes Kevin’s head between his hands, forcing Kevin to look at him, and while he brushes away a tear on Kevin’s cheek, he strongly says:
“I did not cheat on you.”
It’s clear that Kevin doesn’t believe him, so Scotty continues to hold Kevin.
“Okay, maybe I had that one coming, considering our past, but… No. I did not. I didn’t cheat on you. It never occurred to me to do so. I haven’t met anyone that was even remotely interesting to me in that way….
Kev, I love you. I admit that I’ve been acting weird these last few days, but … I guarantee you, I don’t have a guilty conscience. I didn’t cheat on you. I love you…”
He doesn’t even blink, he just keeps looking at Kevin, hoping and praying that Kevin will believe him now. Kevin seems to relax.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I thought the worst of you…” Kevin then whispers.
“It’s okay. I should have talked to you…” Scotty answers.
“I’ve been so scared. I wanted to ask you, but… I just wasn’t sure I could handle the answer… I just… I love you so much…” Kevin is clearly distraught.
Scotty’s hands move to the back of Kevin’s neck and he forces Kevin to a deep, warm and passionate kiss that makes Kevin weak in the knees.
“And I love you. I love you so very, very much. I would never cheat on you again… The mere thought that I could lose you…No, I’m not going to take that chance ever again.”
They both laugh nervously at their own foolishness.
“But you’re right. Something is bothering me…” Scotty then says. “And I should have talked to you, but I thought it would pass, that it would go away on its own, once I was back here. But it doesn’t.”
“What’s going on then?” Kevin asks. He sits down on the bed and Scotty sits down next to him. Their fingers entwine and while he plays with Kevin’s fingers, Scotty shakes his head. He can’t find the right words, but he also knows that it’s time to confront his thoughts and share them with Kevin, before more bad ideas come to Kevin’s annoying mind.
“I don’t know how to explain this… I went there with the idea that I would learn things, get new ideas, put some sparkle back in Café 429,…. New creativity. Perhaps find again some of the energy, that I had when I started Café 429. Instead, I came back with a headache and depleted of all energy. Completely drained.
I walked around in that great hall in San Francisco. I saw all these different stands, with different foods, from different countries, using different spices and… all my work, my efforts, suddenly felt so futile. I wondered what on Earth I was doing at Café 429. Everything I have here suddenly seemed so bland and uninteresting…. And I just can’t seem to get my enthusiasm back.”
Scotty looks miserable and Kevin feels sorry for him.
“But you have an excellent restaurant. No one is expecting you change everything, or to make radical new choices, or ‘be creative’. Those who come here love your food. They love the ambiance of the place, the good waiting-staff and … your beautiful smile…”
Scotty can’t help but smile at Kevin’s words. A smile that fades just as quickly as it came though.
“I don’t want to get stuck in daily routine either….” Scotty's voice is soft.
“I agree. You’ll have to find a way to balance one and the other, but you’ve always been able to create surprising dishes, little variations that give a dish just this extra ‘something’.” Kevin points out.
“It’s a lot of hard work. It’s doesn’t always just ‘happen’ to me. It sometimes takes me hours or even days to make a dish different enough, something that other restaurants don’t have. It’s hard to remain ‘fresh’ and ‘new’, if there are I-don’t-know-how-many restaurants trying to do the same thing.”
Now that Kevin is relieved to hear that Scotty’s problem doesn’t match his own worst fear, he can switch and understand how Scotty feels and how it can become very depressing to believe that you can't keep up.
“I do get that.” Kevin sweetly answers and he caresses Scotty’s fingers.
“It sort of zapped all the energy out of me. I suddenly had these nightmare scenarios where I couldn’t keep Café 429 running the way I wanted. I had it in my head that I would fail. And I just couldn’t switch that feeling off. I kept thinking about what I could not do. It drove me crazy.
It isn’t just that I’d lose the restaurant, but what about us? I mean, I don’t mean to be nasty, but your law-practice isn’t exactly a steady income, especially not for a family. I got so worried that we’d get thrown out of this house. I’ve been living in my car before… I never want to go back to that and…”
“Ssshhhh…” Kevin takes Scotty in his arms and rubs his back and neck. “Take it easy, will you? First of all, your restaurant is doing just fine. Second, so is my law-practice. I’m getting more jobs too. Third, we still have the money from the sale of the aquifer, because I didn’t want my share to go to Sarah’s plan to buy that media-thing.
So, we won’t be broke that fast. And even if you’d lose Café 429, which I doubt, I can still go back to corporate law. They still want me there too. Our lives are not over just because you feel stifled right now. And even if it would come to having to sell Café 429, which, again, I don’t believe in.. even then we would not be out of options.
There would still be Saul, my mom, my family, your dad… they can all us lend us a helping hand. We’re not going to live on the street, so stop freaking out… You’re so focused on everything that could go wrong… That’s not like you..
You’re the bohemian, free-spirited and positive one, remember? You are supposed to protect me from my annoying brain, not the other way around. You’re confusing our designated positions in this marriage.” Kevin jokes and even Scotty can bring up a smile.
“You’re right. Sorry about that.” He manages to reply with just enough sarcasm.
“I love you. Stop panicking. You’re going to be just do just fine.” Kevin wraps his arms around his husband and for a moment they’re lost in their kiss…
“I have to go back to the restaurant… Crew will be coming in any time now.” Scotty apologetically explains as he gently pushes Kevin away.
“I know.” Kevin nods. “Will you think about what I said… ?”
“I will keep it in mind.”
“… And relax?” Kevin adds.
“I’ll try.” Scotty gets up and walks up to the door, where he turns around. “Thanks.” He says.
“So, how did it go?” Kevin asks. “You seemed more cheerful. From what I could see from my office anyway.” Scotty looks at Kevin, who’s already in bed.
“It went better than the last few days. I’m so grateful we had our talk. I thought I was going crazy. There was a part of me that knew I was being ridiculous…”
“Fatalistic thinking can happen to any of us.” Kevin states.
“… but I still couldn’t shake these negative thoughts.”
“They weren’t as bad as mine.” Kevin mumbles. Scotty turns to him.
“I’m sorry that I made you think that I had been cheating on you.” He says.
Kevin rolls his eyes at his own stupid ideas. Scotty must think he’s a fool. Scotty walks over to him, gets on the bed and he straddles Kevin’s legs, taking Kevin’s face between his hands and gently kissing Kevin’s lips.
“I’m sorry that I made you worry.”
“I shouldn’t have thought… the worst. I should have spoken sooner.” Kevin replies in between two kisses. Scotty shakes his head.
“I never even looked at another man. I was so wrapped up in my own concerns. It never crossed my mind.”
“Are you very tired?” Kevin asks. Scotty shrugs.
“I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in days. I think that now I will sleep much better.”
“Really? Sleep?” Kevin fumbles with Scotty’s belt. Scotty grins, hungrily looking on as Kevin undoes the belt and opens his jeans.
“Well, my, Mr Walker, what do you have in mind?” Scotty wonders, as if he really has no clue. Kevin doesn’t answer. He just pushes Scotty down on the bed, on his back, and covers Scotty’s lower body, quickly helping Scotty out of his clothes until he’s naked from the waist down.
“What I have in mind for you, Mr Wandell, is a little reminder of why you have no reason to cheat on me.” Kevin informs Scotty.
“And what might that rrrrrr…. Ooooh!” Now Scotty gets his reminder. One that has him spread his fingers in Kevin’s hair and let Kevin’s warm mouth do the talking.
Kevin doesn’t play games. He immediately takes charge, sucking on Scotty’s swollen member, as his fingers play with Scotty and begin to prepare him for what is to come. He would like to take more time to turn Scotty on, to make him beg for mercy, to make him surrender to his needs, but Kevin knows that Scotty is very tired.
Scotty’s breathing becomes uneven and he takes off his shirt, so that he’s naked under Kevin. Fingers are inside him, he reacts to them, caught between Kevin’s hand and Kevin’s mouth. He pushes deeper, almost choking Kevin for a few seconds.
“I want you.” He whispers, barely able to let go of Kevin’s head.
He would love to push this further, but he knows Kevin has other plans. When Kevin’s mouth leaves him, he whimpers, yet, as if by some unheard command, he puts himself in a comfortable position on his back. Not for the first time in his life he wishes that Kevin could suck and fuck him at the same time.
Kevin has a firm hold on Scotty’s legs and with each deliberately slow push, Scotty’s fingers push away from the headboard of the bed to find some leverage to push back. Kevin is deep inside him and all he wants is to find some satisfaction. He reaches with one hand between his legs, wanting to touch himself.
He looks up and he sees the intense look on Kevin’s face as he looks down and watches how Scotty satisfies himself. Scotty closes his eyes, feels Kevin’s next thrust, which seems to push him away, but Kevin’s strong hold holds him in place. Scotty cries out and his hand moves faster.
“Do it..” He hears Kevin insist. “Do it… come on, babe… do it.” The world seizes to exist. In the distance he hears a cry and he knows it’s Kevin, but right now it doesn’t matter. He feels the warm liquid on his hand, his breathing is fast and all he can do is keep his eyes as tight as possible.
Kevin collapses down on the bed, next to Scotty, equally out of breath. Scotty manages to grab the sheet and pull it over their bodies.
“Hope we didn’t wake up Daniel or Olivia…” He says softly with a sudden feeling of worry. All Kevin can do is laugh.
“We just had amazing sex and that’s the first thing that comes to mind?” He asks. They now both laugh.
“I know, I’m crazy, right?” Scotty turns to Kevin.
“In a cute way.” Kevin agrees, quickly stealing a kiss.
Scotty smiles and draws a pattern on Kevin’s chest.
“I’ve misses this. Just being with you..” He says softly. Kevin hums something and turns to his side to face Scotty. He caresses Scotty’s face.
“Don’t ever do this to me again.. Talk to me next time?”
“I will.” Scotty promises and Kevin pulls him closer in a warm hug. Scotty closes his eyes. He’s in a warm, comfortable place. He’s satisfied. It’s finally quiet in his head, now that all the weird ideas are gone.. He relaxes even more and drifts off to sleep. Kevin notices this. He kisses Scotty’s hair and lets him sleep.
“I’m going.” Kevin says the next morning.
“Where?” Scotty asks. He looks awful. Little eyes, red cheeks from the fever. The flu has finally hit him.
“I have to be in court, remember?” Kevin grins. “I’m just dropping off Olivia at school first.”
“What about Daniel?” Scotty asks with a gruff voice.
“Saul is looking after him, until my mom gets here.”
“You asked Nora?” Scotty is in shock.
“Yes. Because you’re sick and I can’t be here to look after you, so I got the second-best choice. Mom. And chicken-soup!”
“I hate you.” Scotty moans.
“Love you too.” Kevin grins and after a little kiss, he leaves Scotty alone to be sick.