About: Scotty, Jordan, Mario, Quinn
Disclaimer: B&S doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: Scotty wonders if he should or not.
Extra: Taking place right after 2.08
“He what?” Jordan asks, uncertain if he heard Scotty right.
“You heard me. He said that, as messy as things had been between us, he wanted it back. He wanted me back.” Scotty’s voice is soft and concerned.
“Oh, my God! How did …? What did you answer?” Mario’s question makes Scotty frown.
“I said I needed time… Time to think it over.”
“What did he say?” Jordan wants to know. Scotty is about to reply, when Quinn joins their table.
“Why are you all so serious? There’s a karaoke, everyone else is having fun. Someone die?” he asks rather insensitive.
“Shut up, Quinn. Scotty is just telling us that Kevin has asked him to start over.” The look on Jordan’s face betrays his surprise.
“Rrrright!” comes Quinn’s sarcastic reply. “Don’t tell me that ’Mister-I’m-better-than-you’ is suddenly back in your life.”
“Stay focused, Quinn, turns out Scotty has been living at his place for the last few weeks.” Mario says.
“Why on Earth ...?”
“Quinn!” Jordan shoots him a warning glance. Though Jordan knows about Scotty’s desperate financial situation, he doesn’t know if the other do too, and he doesn’t want Scotty to have to embarrass himself by having to explain something.
For a moment Scotty looks terribly shy and then he confesses:
“I…. I… I didn’t need a place to stay, because of trouble with neighbors. I got kicked out of my place, because I could no longer pay the rent…...”
“Here we thought you found a place of your own again.” Quinn looks at Mario, to see if Mario knew about this too.
“I’m sorry. Only Jordan knew how bad it really was. I should have been honest to you guys as well. Things got so bad I ended up sleeping in my Ranchero…”
“Why didn’t you tell us how bad your situation really was?” Mario now asks.
“Too proud.” Scotty shrugs.
“Idiot.” Quinn scolds him. “You should have told us the truth.”
“Maybe…. I just discovered that certain friends were no longer interested in me the moment they found out that I was broke.. So I guess I became a bit more careful about who was allowed to know the truth.” Scotty looks at his hands unable to face his friends.
“So where does the ex-boyfriend fit in this story?” Quinn is now curious.
“When Kevin found out I was homeless, he offered to take me in."
“Damn, Scotty, in exchange for what?” It takes Scotty a few seconds to realize the meaning of Quinn’s question.
“Nothing.” Scotty replies offended. “As a matter of fact, he couldn’t have been nicer. I can stay at his place as long as I like. I don’t pay rent at all.” Suddenly Scotty’s smile brightens up his face. “ In fact, he told me that if I ever mention paying a part of the rent again, he’ll kick me out of the place. He doesn’t want to hear about it.”
“And Kevin doesn’t want anything in return?” Mario raises the question on Quinn’s mind. Scotty shakes his head.
“Kevin says he has to pay for the place whether I live there or not, so it makes no difference to him… And he can afford it and I can’t. There’s no way I could fight with that argument.” Scotty’s smile disappears and he looks a bit defeated. “I know you guys don’t really like Kevin,….”
“We never met the guy. We only know him from the stories you told us.” Quinn gently reminds Scotty.
“Right now, I could not have asked for a better friend. But a boyfriend…? That is just about the last thing I need.”
“And why not? You’re free, he’s free. You already share an apartment. What’s the problem?”
“He’s not entirely free.” Scotty says. Quinn raises an eyebrow. He has known Scotty for 4 years now and Scotty never showed interest in someone else’s boyfriend. “He… he has.. he had a boyfriend. A minister. A minister who went to Malaysia do his work there and things got a little complicated…. Anyway Kevin broke up with him…. but only just…. And I don’t want to be the rebound guy. I don’t want to get hurt again…” There is pain in Scotty’s eyes.
Mario, Jordan and Quinn look at each other, they don’t know what to say.
“Scotty…..” Quinn starts, but at that moment a young man walks up to him.
“Quinn, you are needed in the office.” He says. Quinn wants to stay and talk, but if he is needed elsewhere…. He is in doubt about what to do.
Scotty sees the little tug of war going on in Quinn’s mind.
“Go.” He says. “You’re needed. I’ll work it out.” Thankful at Scotty’s decision, Quinn leaves them alone. At that moment, another man, who had been in Mario’s sight all evening, walks over to their table, asking Mario if he wants to dance. Before Mario can even say something Scotty smiles:
“He’d love to!”
Mario gives him an angry look, he wanted to play hard to get, but Scotty’s teasing look makes him change his mind. The worried frown on Scotty’s face is gone and a playful grin is on his face. Scotty enjoys to see his friends have fun and Mario knows that.
“You heard him. I’d love to dance with you.” He gets up, the turns round to lead him to the dance floor. Automatically Mario’s eyes drift down his back and he enjoys the sight.
Over his shoulder he words the word “Wow!!” to Scotty and Jordan and rolls his eyes upwards with a heavenly smile.
“Well, at least one of us might be lucky tonight.” Scotty starts to laugh and Jordan joins him. They are back to being just the two of them, which Scotty actually prefers.
“So, what have you decided? What will you do?” Jordan asks. Scotty shakes his head.
“I don’t know.”
Jordan plays with his drink for almost a minute. He’s quietly thinking everything over. He has known Scotty for nearly 5 years now. On and off. Sometimes they don’t see each other for 2 months, sometimes 3 times a week. But no matter how much time had passed, every time they meet it is as if they have spoken only yesterday. The friendship was so strong, that the closeness was always there. There was no need to explain.
He has seen Scotty through his break up with Kevin the first time. And how badly hurt Scotty was that day after Valentine’s day. In his mind Kevin has to be the devil incarnated to be able to hurt Scotty like that, for Jordan only knows Scotty as a very smart, giving and caring young man. He has of course never known Scotty as a lover, they are not each other’s type, but he cares deeply about Scotty and he knows Scotty cares for him.
And for that reason he is so surprised that Scotty is back with Kevin. He turns the glass with his thumb one more time and then looks at Scotty:
“Scotty, you are an idiot if you’re playing games right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“This guy broke your heart. Twice. If Kevin is such a bad person why do you keep going back to him? If you have so many doubts…?”
“Because… because it’s Kevin.” Scotty replies with a sigh. “And I… I am hooked on him. I know that it wouldn’t work. He is incapable of committing himself to me or anyone else. He’s a lot richer than me. He’s older than me. He works in a completely work-field than me. And yet… somehow… It’s … Kevin.” he shrugs to show his inability to explain himself.
Jordan lets the words sink in. Eventually he puts his hands on Scotty’s.
“Remember two years ago? When you met him the first time? You dreaded going to that expensive law-firm. You felt uncomfortable about telling on Mangopean. And then you came to my place. All starry-eyed, telling me that you met the man of your dreams. Smart, good-looking, funny, a lawyer, …. Gay. Very important, that last detail.” Scotty smiles at the memory.
“You were totally and madly in love with him then, I’ve seen you on that rollercoaster ride, Scotty. You were miserable one day, happy the next. You two fought and made up and then you were fighting again. You were miserable these last few months and lately you were beaming again. Scotty, you are in love with him, face it. Take what he has to offer, grab it with both hands and don’t let go. Happiness is so hard to find. ”
“But I am worried that I will end up with a broken heart again.” Scotty laments.
“Yes, you could end up with a broken heart, or have the time of your life and maybe it will actually work this time. You have changed these last two years. You went from the flamboyant gay butterfly to an almost chef-cook in a 5 star-restaurant, who takes his life very serious, maybe even a bit too serious. Maybe Kevin has changed as well. I can’t judge.”
“What if Jason comes back and Kevin discovers he’d rather be with him?” Scotty asks concerned.
“What if 5 months from now you’ll walk into the bedroom and find this cool blonde surfer-dude on your bed,… completely naked …. Oh, wait, that is MY fantasy.” Jordan stops himself and Scotty laughs. Jordan is happy to see that laughter again, he prefers it to the frown and he continues:
“My point is that we don’t know what will come. But you love Kevin and you think he might love you too, or you would not find this so hard. If you were convinced that he didn't love you, you'd tell him no. Yes, it could be over within a month, it could also be happiness everlasting… You know ‘three times lucky’, this would be your third attempt…”
“So, you think I should say yes.”
“Yes. Because you are always happy when you’re with him. Even when you are unhappy with him, you still happier than you would have been, had you been without him.”
Scotty blinks a few times to let Jordan’s words find their way into his brains, upon which he takes Jordan’s glass and puts a bit further away from them.
“I think you had enough alcohol for tonight.” Scotty grins.
“Let me be the judge of that, cutie.” Jordan retaliates and he finishes his drink.
Scotty takes his coat.
“Don’t know about you, but I’m going back to Kevin…. You?”
“What would I do with Kevin?” Jordan jokes and he looks around. On the dance floor Mario and the new boyfriend are dancing really close. “You’re right. One of us is going to be lucky tonight.” He sighs.
Scotty follows his friend’s look and replies:
“No. He’s not the only one…. The other one getting lucky tonight will be Kevin.” Scotty grins.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I am…. Unless I change my mind between here and the loft.” Scotty gives Jordan a quick kiss on the cheek and then leaves, looking for Kevin to tell him that he wants to give this relationship another try.