Back againBy Marea67
: Written with love, not for money.Summary
: Scotty's enters Kevin's apartement again after they made up in Scotty's not-so-orange Ranchero
“And… I’m back.” Scotty says, after opening the door to Kevin’s apartment. He lets himself fall on the couch and he looks around. At this moment he’s not in the mood to do much else. He’s happy that the situation around Jason is solved, happy that Kevin had made a clear choice for him, but … it still nags at him somewhat.
In fact, he’s still not sure of so many things. Will this last? How long will he still be a guest in this house? At what moment will be he really be a part of Kevin’s life? He knows better than to ask for any proof of commitment. Kevin doesn’t believe in these kinds of commitments, which sucks a bit, because Scotty does
believe in them…
He gets up and makes some coffee. The smell of freshly brewed coffee makes him want to crawl in bed and just hide there. Yes, Kevin has made his choice, but what exactly had that choice been? Is it just that he prefers Scotty in his bed, because Jason is just not as available as Scotty is?
Scotty pours coffee in the mug and stares at it. What is the reason that Kevin wants him to stay? He has never said that he loved Scotty… It’s not like Scotty adds much to Kevin’s life. His own financial situation has improved somewhat, but not exactly to a level that it would benefit Kevin.
He can't do very much for Kevin when it comes to Kevin's work. Kevin is quite capable to fend for himself. Scotty does
bring home some food and wine occassionally, but for Scotty it hardly seems enough to make Scotty stay for it.
It’s not like Nora couldn’t make food as well or that Tommy couldn’t get wine out of Walker’s Landing… Fruits and vegetables are Ojai Foods products...
He sighs. Doubt comes up again. Is he just too easy? What is Kevin getting out of this?
At that moment the phone rings. Scotty can’t be bothered to get up and he lets the answering machine take over:
“Hi Kev..in, and Scotty. This is Jason. I wanted to thank you both for the dinner last night. It was very … interesting, to say the least.
I’m glad that we managed to get our positions clear. I didn’t come back to rekindle the relationship that we had, Kevin. I’m just glad to see that you made the right decision.. for both
of us. I can move on, now that I’ve seen you have as well. I wish you both lots of happiness. I sincerely do,… Goodbye…”
Scotty blinks and stares speechlessly at the answering-machine. What is he supposed to think of that
? He slowly stirs his coffee and he looks around. At what point will he be able to call this place ‘home’? This is so much Kevin’s place and not his…
Is he even making the right decision here? Or is he letting his feelings for Kevin push him in the wrong direction?
He startles when he hears that the door is about to be opened. How can that be? Kevin is at the office. He gets up, ready to jump on whomever walks in, but much to his surprise, it’s a familiar face.
“Kevin? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
“Yeah, but when I got at the office I suddenly felt a bit.. weird
.. a little 'off'… like I was coming down with something… A 24 hour bug no doubt…. I haven’t had a sick day in years so,… no one second-guessed my decision…”
“You’re skipping work?” Scotty asks surprised. Kevin shrugs. There’s no sign of sickness in his bright blue eyes.
“I went by Andrew’s place and picked up what belongings of yours were still there.” Kevin says instead. Scotty gives him a surprised look. “When you said last night that there was nothing in this apartment that was yours, except clothes… you were right…
I want you to know that I have made a choice. I made it weeks ago, when I broke up with Jason. I did that because I wanted to be with you. I don’t doubt my choice. I want to be with you. No one else. Obviously… If you have so much doubt about me, I didn’t convey the message to you properly.
After our fight last night, after you left, I started thinking about you had said. And you were right… I sort of ‘let’ you stay here.. but I’m not giving you much opportunity to make this your … ‘home
’… And that’s what I want. I want you to see this place as your home too… I really want you in my life.. As a part of my life, not as just a passer-by… ”
Kevin stammers, trying to get his intentions through to Scotty and a large smile brightens Scotty’s face. How is it possible that this beautiful eloquent lawyer can be turned into such a stammering schoolboy when it comes to discussing his feelings?
“It’s all in the trunk of my car. We could bring it up here and see where we put it all?”
“That would be nice…” Scotty answers, the happy smile on his face surprised Kevin a bit. He had never realized how much Scotty had wanted this.
“Perhaps we could spend some time on gathering all the things that you have with several friends and make sure that they all end up here…” Kevin suggests. Then suddenly he wonders if he’s not moving too fast. “… that is… if you want that…?” He asks shyly.
“I do.. want that.. I’d love to have my things here…”
“It would make things more .. permanent.. between us..?” Kevin points out carefully.
“Do you mind?” Scotty wants to know. He’s carefully studying Kevin’s reaction.
“No. Not at all.” He answers honestly.
“Okay..” Scotty answers, letting go of the breath he was holding. They had not been exactly been the words he had wanted to hear, but it will have to do for now.
“Let’s get everything out of your car.” Scotty moves to open the door, but Kevin stops him. They stand so close their bodies nearly touch. Kevin opens his mouth to say something, but then seems to change his mind. Scotty waits. Kevin obviously is looking for something to say, but it must be something hard to say.
Scotty braces himself for the worst: Don’t get any ideas. This is not ‘forever’. Let’s see how this works out, if not, you’re out on the street again…
Kevin gently caresses Scotty’s hands, before threading his fingers with Scotty's. A remarkable gesture from someone who has issues with displaying his affection.
“I’m not in habit of saying these words… they aren’t just words
… They have meaning
… and I’ve said them before, only to see them flung back in my face, as if they didn’t matter. But they do to me… It’s why I don’t say them that often… but…” He bites his lower lip, before carefully saying: “… I love you…”
Scotty can’t hide his surprise or how happy he is over Kevin’s words. Everything falls into place. He just knows that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. He’s officially moving in with Kevin and. Kevin had made his choice and now it’s up to Scotty to make his own…
“I love you too…” Scotty decides.