I know the secrets that you keep... 9/9By Marea67
William, Nora, Kevin, Scotty and a bunch of others.Rate:
Written with love, not for moneySummary:
When William Walker dies, his family gets confronted with a secret that he kept, which will have a huge impact on Kevin.It is an AU, so the usual applies; Things can/will be different. Don't like it? Don't read it
*****A FEW MONTHS LATER
“Scotty, these look amazing..” Nora sighs. Scotty smiles.
“They taste even better.” Tommy mumbles, while chewing.
“Tommy keep your hands off the hors d’oeuvres! They are for our guests!” Nora scolds, tapping him rather powerlessly on the fingers.
“That guy…” Tommy points at Scotty. “… is dangerous. I don’t know what he does with those shrimps, but if you taste the salad he made with them, you’re instantly addicted.”
of exaggeration.” Scotty laughs, though he doesn’t mind Tommy’s compliment.
“Scotty, thank you for catering on my 60th birthday.” Nora says for what must be 64th time.
“I’m so glad I could do this for you.” Scotty smiles. Nora rushes off to receive some newcomers and it gives Scotty time to pause and think over how weird it is to be so close to Nora. It’s only been half year since William died, but it feels like a life-time ago and Scotty’s whole life has changed since.
The Walkers have managed to include him into their family somehow. Step by step, talk by talk they had broken down the walls between them. He had shared what he knew about William and how he lived his life with him. The Walkers, in return, had made him a part of their lives.
Each to an own level of course. He has gotten know Nora quite well, but, on the other hand, he’s not close to Tommy, but there’s no hate anymore either. Sarah and Kitty work a lot, so he doesn’t see them often, but when they call him or drop by at Café 429, their conversations are amicable and fun.
He was fine with being introduced to Sarah’s children as ‘a friend of Granddaddy’ and as ‘someone close to dad’ to Joe and Julia, and if they knew the truth, they didn’t make things awkward for him. Over the course of the months he had become ‘someone close to the family’ and got introduced that way to people around the Walkers.
One of the perks of being 'someone close' to the Walkers' was that the Walkers have a great network of friends, family, associates, clients and acquintances. And Café 429's business had only been growing because of it. Not to mention the many people who wanted to use Scotty for the catering of their parties, getogethers and business-meetings.
Scotty had only started the as a side-line to Café 429, never having had more than a handful of orders a month. Now, it was becoming a business on it's own.
The changes hadn’t been painless or sudden, it was slow, but steady. And in all honesty, Scotty couldn’t see how he had gotten through it, if it hadn’t been for Justin. Justin had promised to not leave Scotty alone again and he had stuck to his promise and his cheerfulness had brought laughter and friendship to Scotty’s life.
So when Nora had asked if Scotty would be willing to do the catering for her 60th birthday, he didn’t need to think twice about it. He had accepted it with both hands.
“Scotty, would I be asking you for too much, if I ask you to make an alternative to the shrimp-salad? Kevin just called. He’s on his way from the airport. He’s allergic to shrimps.” Nora interrupts his thoughts.
“Kevin? .. Oh… alright.. I’ll see what I whip up…” Scotty smiles, but once in the kitchen he wonders what to make. And why his hands are shaking as he reaches for the tomatoes. He hadn’t spoken to or heard from Kevin since his outburst at Ojai Foods, when he had directed his words, that he never wanted to meet any on them again, mostly to Kevin.
He only heard from Justin and Nora that Kevin was in Washington, working hard and didn’t have much time for anything. Scotty had done a good job trying to erase the memory of Kevin from his mind, but now the image of Kevin’s warm mouth on his own distracts him while slicing the tomatoes and he ends up cutting himself in the finger.
“Brilliant! That hasn’t happened to me in three years!” Scotty says angrily to himself.
“Something the matter?” Justin places some dishes on the table.
“I cut myself.” Scotty holds up his bleeding finger and Justin immediately reaches for the band-aids.
“What happened? Why did you want to filet your own finger?”
“I got distracted.” Scotty admits.
“Oooooh, whose entrance did I miss?” Justin jokes. Scotty’s smile is somewhat embarrassed and Justin’s mind works quickly enough.
“Or … maybe he hasn’t arrived yet?” He suddenly wonders, watching Scotty go beet-red while he tries to mask it by turning his back to Justin and grabbing some more tomatoes. “I’ve been dying to know what has happened between the two of you… There’s been a rumor zinging amongst us for months now.
It did seem like your anger, in the offices of Ojai, and the request to stay out of your life, was mostly directed at Kevin… And Kevin jumped
on the chance to get out of LA and go to Washington…” Justin’s eyes narrow. “Did something happen between the two of you?” His question is a direct one and Scotty sighs.
“Yes. No. Something… I don’t really want to talk about it.” He sees the non-believing look on Justin’s face and he sighs again… “I’m not going to get away with that one, am I?” Justin shakes his head. “Not that there’s much to
tell. I was drunk and being stupid, Kevin tried to stop me… He was kind. I was still lonely… One thing lead to another…”
He rolls his hand as if it should explain everything and luckily Justin is a good listener.
must have been awkward…”
“… in the morning-light? Yeah, it was.” Scotty admits. “We haven’t spoken to each other since...”
There’s a silence between them as they both let the story sink in. Scotty is happy that Justin isn’t judging him, while Justin realizes that it must have taken Scotty quite something to tell him the truth. He can see from the way that Scotty looks away from him that Scotty is terribly embarrassed by it all, maybe even worried about how it affect their friendship.
Justin smiles. Scotty is so much like a comic-book sometimes, he can read him two pages at a time.
“You know of course what this means, don’t you?” Justin asks teasingly. Scotty looks up.
“I have to tell the others.” Justin wiggles his phone between his fingers.
“No!” Scotty playfully makes a grab for Justin’s phone and there’s a bit of mock fighting between them until Justin puts away his phone.
“I won’t tell anyone.” Justin promises.
“Thank you.” Scotty laughs and he’s about to hand Justin a knife to ask him help him cut the rest, when the doorbell rings.
“That must be Kevin.” Justin says and he runs off.
“Honey!” Nora hugs Kevin so tightly that the poor man can hardly breath.
“Sorry, I have no idea where my keys are, I need the spare one I gave you….” Kevin apologizes.
“Oh…” Nora says disappointedly. “You’re not here for my birthday?”
“What birthday? Is it your birthday today? I forgot.” Kevin says with a huge grin on his face, but then he gives her the present that he’s been holding behind his back.
“Did you steal that from the White House?” Tommy jokes.
“I tried. But then I got caught by that cute guard… Had to pay off by using my body…”
“Like that would be a problem for you.” Sarah laughs.
“I never said it was a problem
.” Kevin winks and he turns just in time to catch his nephew Cooper.
“Did you bring us a gift?” Paige begs.
“Now why would I bring gifts to you two little monsters?” Kevin wonders, but then gives two presents for his sister’s children. With them running off, Kevin gives his mother an extra hug. “How’s your party so far?”
“Oh, wonderful, everyone's here .. and wait until you see what delicious food Scotty has made for us…”
“Scotty Wandell. He agreed to do the catering…” Nora explains.
“I’ve heard from the others that he’s becoming more and more a part of your lives, but..”
“He’s such a nice guy. Dad wanted it this way, I think. For us to accept him in our lives.” Kevin stares at Kitty for a few seconds. This is just something that he can’t believe, but he doesn’t want to argue with her in front of his mother, so he just nods.
“Nora! Time to blow out the candles.” Holly, Nora’s dearest friend, calls her and everyone heads back to the garden, except Justin who grabs Kevin’s arm to stop him.
“You can’t continue to ignore Scotty.” He says.
“He made it clear that he wanted us out of his life.” Kevin answers.
“Yes. But he was hurt and angry. A lot has changed since then…”
“Apparently.” Kevin says dryly.
“He’s in the kitchen. Why don’t you go talk to him?”
“If he’s there
, I’ll everywhere but
the kitchen.” Kevin answers. He pulls his arm lose from Justin’s grip and he walks away to find his mother, leaving Justin behind with a frown on his face.
“Having fun?” Justin asks, when he sees Nora sitting on a small bench. Nora looks up.
“It’s getting a bit too much for me. Thankfully, Holly keeps an eye on the guests, so I can withdraw for a few minutes…. I haven’t seen Scotty for a while… Is he still working in the kitchen? I don’t want that…. He’s also a guest of mine..”
“I think that he’s avoiding Kevin, like Kevin is avoiding Scotty.”
“Why?” Nora asks, then remembers. “Oh. I see. Scotty told you.”
“About? … Wait. You know?”
“That something happened between them? Yes. Kevin told me.”
“It must be awkward. For both of them.”
“Well, it would be weird. Kevin with his father’s lover...?” Nora shakes her head.
“Well, 'Kevin and Scotty' wouldn’t be weird. Not as weird as 'Scotty and Dad'.” Justin points out.
“You would want that relationship?”
“It’s not about what I
want. I just think that if
there are feelings between them, we shouldn’t give them the impression that we disapprove of it, because of dad. I mean, dad may be dead, but Scotty is still alive. And why couldn’t he find happiness with Kevin?” Justin’s question puts a frown on Nora’s face.
She likes Scotty a lot, but… With Kevin? Too? “How does it make you feel to know that the same guy who fucked your husband did the same with your son?!”
Kevin’s question to her suddenly comes back to her. At the time she had dismissed his question, because he was very upset, but now…?
The question is a valid one. How would she feel if something would grow between Kevin and Scotty? She turns to Justin who’s stacking empty glasses to bring to kitchen. She sees Kevin coming in her direction. She grabs Justin by the arm and sits him down in the chair with considerable force.
“Shut up!” She tells Justin. “Kevin! Come here…. Justin just sprained his ankle, I think. Bring these glasses to the kitchen for us, will you?”
“Mom, do I have to?”
“Bring those glasses to Scotty!” Nora orders.
Kevin opens his mouth to object, but decides against it. Instead he grabs the glasses, turns towards the house and walks away.
“I have a sprained ankle?” Justin teases his mother.
“Don’t forget to hobble.” Nora tells him sourly.
“Hi… Here are some glasses…” Kevin says, putting the glasses on the kitchen-counter.
“Thank you.” Scotty smiles distractedly.
“You’re welcome…” Kevin smiles back and wants to leave again, but Scotty’s voice stops him from leaving.
“Kevin? I’m sorry, if I gave you the feeling that I really didn’t want to see you anymore at all
. I was very angry and very hurt… I felt used…. But that’s not fair, because you didn’t do anything wrong…. So, I want to apologize… I had no right to force myself on you that night….”
“Well, it wasn’t like you drugged me either…” Kevin smiles awkwardly. “I could have stopped it, if I … I should
have stopped it, it was wrong at that moment, with you.. hurting and all…” Kevin offers his own apology. From opposite sides of the table, they nervously smile at each other.
“I like this. When you look at someone and they don’t look away…” Scotty gently says, almost drowing in Kevin's blue eyes.
“I would never… look away…” Kevin smiles hesitantly letting the ‘from you’ hang between them. Scotty bites his lower lip and lets go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He’s about to say something else when Sarah enters the kitchen.
“The kids are looking for their uncle Kevin…”
“I’ll be there…” Kevin promises. Sarah leaves again. “I have to go…” Kevin says apologetically. “Ahm… if you’re not mad at me anymore…. Perhaps.. we could meet again someplace else…. And … Talk?”
“Talk?... Yes, that sounds good.”
“Here,…” Kevin writes something on the back of a card, his business-card. “This is my address and personal phone-number… I’ll leave it up to you… When you’re ready… On your own terms… Call me?”
He can’t quite hide the hope in his voice. Scotty takes the card.
“I’ll call you.” Scotty nods.
“Don’t let my family hold you up too long….” Kevin advices.
“I won’t.” Scotty replies.
“I must be crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.” Scotty whispers. He’s two steps away from apartment 507, where Kevin lives. He’s holding Kevin’s card. He should have called first, but he didn’t want to wait much longer… Just seeing Kevin this afternoon had made him aware of how much he still liked the beautiful lawyer.
He gathers all his nerves and knocks. There’s no sound. What if Kevin went to bed early? Maybe he not even home anymore? Maybe Scotty misunderstood? What if Kevin isn’t really interested in him, just wants to be friends? Scotty backs away from the door. Of course, Kevin wouldn’t be interested. Scotty had been his father’s lover. What had he been thinking?
Just as he’s about to walk away the door of Kevin’s apartment opens.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting… I had fallen asleep on the couch… It took a couple seconds before I realized that someone was at the door.…” Kevin speaks as if he’s out of breath. He looks cute with his hair pointing in all directions.
“If you’re tired, then … I can come back another time…”
“No!... I mean, you’re here now…” Again they’re opposite each other. Kevin still in the doorway. Scotty still in the hall.
“So, are you going to let me in? Or do you want to talk here in the hallway….?”
“No. No, of course not…. Please, come in.” Kevin lets Scotty in and Scotty catches a glimpse of Kevin’s apartment. “Can I get you a drink? There’s not much in the house at the moment. I just got back from Washington and I haven’t had time to get my groceries..”
“I know. I saw you coming home to your mom’s place, remember?” Scotty winks. Kevin laughs nervously.
“Of course you did. I’m sorry… I have wine. Red wine. There's.. always.. red wine.”
“Red wine is just fine.” Scotty nods.
He watches how Kevin pours two glasses of red wine. He offers one to Scotty. They sit down on the couch together.
“How was Washington?”
“Beautiful. Really beautiful. Just a lot of work that needed to be done, so I couldn't see as much of it as I would have liked.”
There’s silence between them for a few seconds.
“How’s the restaurant doing?” Kevin then asks.
“Good. Very good. Busy… A lot of work…” Scotty hears himself stammer. He hears a little laughter coming from Kevin.
“We’re so pathetic. Look at us, acting like a couple of schoolgirls afraid of their first kiss.”
Scotty starts to laugh as well.
“This was a bad idea… I don’t even know why I came here. I thought…. I wanted… something… I don’t know.” He says.
“It is hard, isn’t it? I’m usually better at this. But when I’m with you… I just never seem to find the right words….” Kevin admits shyly.
“I think that William is at the core of this feeling…”
“I agree with you.”
They sit quietly beside each other, until Kevin puts his hand on Scotty’s. He opens his mouth to say something, but again the right words fail him. Yet, his eyes convey probably more of his confused feelings than he could have imagined, so Scotty quietly picks up Kevin’s hand and places a little kiss on it.
“I know.” He says and Kevin immediately knows that Scotty is telling the truth. No words are needed between them. “If you’re interested.. In me .. Really interested… I’d like to take it slow… Just.. slow. It’s been weird.. and… we’ve learned too much about each other too fast, but there’s still too much we don’t know, but that we need to find out.”
“No. No. Of course.. Slow is good. Good idea.” Kevin answers. “I’m trying to see my dad as an ex-lover like we both must have had in the past… If he had been someone else, I’d probably be able to look passed that as well…. So, I should be able to the same now, logically speaking…. Emotion-wise it’s still a bit strange.”
“Yes, I get that too. You’re William’s son… If he hadn’t been your father, then you and I…” he doesn’t finish his sentence. His mind’s eye creates a vision in his mind of two naked bodies, sweating, moving in on each other…. He shakes his head to shake the image. "I think I’d better go…” He then says.
Kevin looks away to not reveal how much he desires to be with Scotty. To take it slow will indeed be the best decision. Logically. He gets up and walks up with Scotty to the door to let Scotty out. At the door however, Scotty turns to him.
“Kevin….” It’s more a moan, than a word and Kevin finds himself responding to it.
Within seconds Scotty is with his back against the door, Kevin’s lips on his, Kevin’s tongue invading his mouth, while Kevin’s hands slip under his t-shirt and explore whatever part of Scotty’s body that they can touch. Scotty’s answer follows quickly. He pulls Kevin closer towards himself to let him know how aroused he is.
Feeling that hardness against him, Kevin moans into the kiss. Scotty turns the tables on Kevin, by turning them around so that Kevin’s caught between the door and Scotty’s taller body. Their kiss is long, passionate and breathtaking, but eventually Scotty has to pull back and turn away. This is stupid.
“This is not a good idea… This got us in trouble before…” Scotty whispers.
“I agree.” Kevin is out of breath. “We want to take it slow, remember?”
“Right. Slow.. We’re doing a good job here.” They both giggle at the insanity of the moment and Scotty pushes himself away from Kevin.
“We need to figure this out first, before… something else happens.” Scotty tries to sound in control, but his heart is beating faster and all he wants is just to be with Kevin.
“I agree.. I think you’d better go….” Kevin opens the door, fighting his urge to just grab Scotty and drag him to his bedroom.
Scotty steps out of the apartment, turns to Kevin to kiss him, but decides against it.
“I’ll call you…” He promises instead.
“Is good. Can’t wait..” Kevin smiles at him and Scotty turns around to walk up the elevator and get away from the attraction he feels for Kevin.
Kevin closes the door of his apartment. He’s about to turn of the light when he notices a framed piece of paper. Years ago, Kevin had been close to a breakdown when his work had become his life. One night he had collapsed from sheer exhaustion and he remembers that when he was finally allowed to go back home, his father had visited him.
“Son, I wanted to give you this. Stop confusing your life
with your work
and remember this…” He had given Kevin a framed piece of paper. On it, written in William’s handwriting it said: 'Live each day as if it’s your last. One day you’ll be right'. Kevin stares at the quote. “...Stop wasting opportunities that are given to you….”
Scotty waits for the elevator to get to the 5th floor. It’s an old elevator and it seems to take forever. Scotty takes his car-keys out of his pocket and his eyes catch the text on a small medallion that is on his key-holder. It has William’s favorite quote on it: 'Live each day as if it’s your last. One day you’ll be right….' Scotty smiles.
Scotty rushes back to apartment 507 and just as he arrives at the door, it opens on his own and Kevin is about to step out. They both seemed surprised to see each other.
“I just remembered what William used to say to me…. Live each day as if it were your last….”
“… One day you’ll be right…” Kevin finishes with a smile and tears in his eyes at the memory.
“Kevin, I know what I want. I want you… And if you feel the same… Then we’ll figure out the rest of it as we go along.. Together?”
Scotty bites his lip, afraid of the rejection that could follow, but Kevin can only nod.
“I want you too… The rest? …. We’ll work through it….” Scotty pulls Kevin closer for a warm, intimate kiss, until Kevin realizes that they’re in the middle of the hallway. He back away, takes Scotty with him and closes the door of the apartment behind them.