In the middle of the night
K/S aren't mine... but a girl can dream
Scotty wakes Kevin up, in the middle of the night, for a bit of attention, but Kevin is not interested.
“Kevin? Kevin, wake up.” Scotty gently shakes Kevin shoulder. Kevin moans at the interruption of his much needed sleep.
“Whah…?” He asks. In answer Scotty starts to kiss the back of his neck and his naked shoulder. Kevin sighs more resignedly than annoyed.
“Scotty, please… I have an important case tomorrow. I have to get up at 5.30. I need my sleep… Can’t this wait?”
“Come on, Kev, it’s been weeks since we last had sex. I’ve been a good boy so far, but I need some attention as well.”
“I swear I’ll make it up to you. Just…”
“Oh, never mind!” Scotty angrily turns over, so that he’s with his back to Kevin. This is usually the sign for Kevin to turn over as well and coach Scotty into changing his mind, but Kevin just shakes his head, hardly able to keep his eyes open.
He knows he should do something, but he’s tired from the huge amount of work and he’s worried about succeeding tomorrow, especially with the life of a child literally depending on the outcome. He’s just not in the mood for sex. Not at all!
“I’m sorry.” He says quietly.
He stays where he is, hoping that Scotty will change his mind and spoon up against him so he can continue his sleep. But Scotty doesn’t. He feels rejected and angry. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he also knows he’s overreacting to Kevin’s words. He should
be able to see where Kevin is coming from.
How often had he himself not been too tired from the many hours in the kitchen? Too tired to make love to Kevin and even if Kevin had sometimes pouted a bit, Kevin had never pushed the issue and he had always accepted Scotty’s ‘no thanks’ as a ‘no’. But it’s been weeks since Kevin had given him any attention and he starts to feel invisible to Kevin.
It’s well known feeling. He has had it before. And he fears a re-run from the time when Kevin and he had gone through a bad period, right after the accident. A bad place that had led to a bad decision that had nearly destroyed his marriage. Oh, he isn’t going to make the same mistake again, no more guys like Marcus, he’s sure of that.
But meanwhile he still feels lonely and rejected… and very tired. He wants nothing more than just turn over and tell Kevin he’s sorry, but at the same time he doesn’t want to, afraid that his protest would become something meaningless. So he pulls the sheets closer around him and he closes his eyes.
Kevin hears Scotty’s calm and easy breathing and realizes that Scotty is asleep. On the other side of the bed! With his back turned to Kevin! It shocks Kevin. He had believed they were beyond that. Forgiveness given. Topic closed. But now the fear that Scotty will try to find solace someplace else rises up again.
A few years ago, he wouldn’t even have thought about it. He had trusted Scotty completely. But now … now that he knows Scotty is capable
of cheating… it changes everything. He turns to his back and stares into the darkness, knowing that now he won’t be able to catch his sleep again.
It’s not that often that Scotty would be in Kevin’s office when Kevin isn’t around. He usually obeys Kevin’s privacy rules. Kevin is very strict about attorney-client privilege and he knows Kevin would kill him if he found out that Scotty is snooping around in his files, but this time Scotty’s curiosity had been too big.
He had wanted to know what had been so important to Kevin that all other things had ceased to matter to him. Apparently he hadn’t even had much contact with Nora, Saul or any of the other Walkers either, which is an extra sign for him to worry. And now he had wished he hadn’t been so curious.
He had found the copy of the file that Kevin had been working on and reading about the abuse that reigned in the family of the boy, that Kevin was working for, had made him sick to his stomach. It reminds him of how often Kevin had sighed that he couldn’t understand that Scotty and he wanted kids so badly, but had to go through such difficulties.
And all the while there were people who could easily have kids and should never, ever
have been allowed near one…
“What are you doing?” Kevin's voice comes from out of nowhere, and he may be asking, but his voice is already angry because he knows the answer.
“You’re back…” Scotty states, shocked that he’s back so early and he’s worried about being caught. “I’m sorry…” He immediately says, knowing that Kevin will not take this intrusion on his work lightly. And just one look at Kevin’s angry face, makes it clear that he is indeed livid.
“Have you lost your mind? These…” and he rips the file from Scotty’s hands. “… are confidential
! There’s a reason why there’s a lock on my door ….”
“I’m so sorry… I just…” Scotty can suddenly not think of a good reason that would explain why he was looking in Kevin’s files.
you! I trusted you to understand how important this confidentiality between my clients and me is to me. How often have you done this? How often have you been reading my files?!”
“Never. Never before! I swear.” Scotty answers immediately.
Kevin looks at him intensely, as if he’s trying to read if Scotty is telling the truth.
“I’m so sorry…” Scotty says again. “I was just so mad that you were so busy on this case and hardly had any time for me…. Or even your family… I guess… I couldn’t always see or understand what is so important
that you’re not there for me.
But, … I was being selfish… I had no idea how bad this case actually was… The kid… it’s awful…” Scotty is clearly shocked and upset and Kevin becomes less angry.
“Yes. It is.” Kevin acknowledges.
“So? Have you been able to help them?”
“Yes. We’ve been able to find an aunt who’s willing to take care of the boy. A bit like Mateo’s case got solved. Except, Mateo’s crimes were petty compared to what this boy has done. On the other hand, the boy was clearly pushed into crime by his dad. He had the scars to prove it.” There’s a silence between them that is difficult to break.
“Is that why you wanted to foster a child? Some kid like this?”
“I’m not sure we could provide the emotional support that a kid like this needs. Sometimes TLC is not enough, and this child in particular will need more extensive help than we could offer. So, no, not a child like this.”
“Do you have many cases like this?” Scotty wonders. Kevin looks at him.
“This is one of the bad cases, most of them are ‘just’ neglect, ‘just’ abuse, this one however….” He shakes his head. “This one really got under my skin…”
“I’m so sorry that I disobeyed your orders to not snoop around..” Scotty says.
He walks up to Kevin and he lets his arms lightly rest on Kevin’s shoulders while threading his fingers behind Kevin’s head, forcing Kevin to look at him.
“I’m sorry, Kev. I know I had no right to do what I did. I just…. I’ve been so lonely these last few weeks and you didn’t talk to me and I couldn’t reach you….
I’m trying so hard to not let us drift apart again… I’m worried… that I’m failing…. Because you shut me out. And I don’t know how to reach you anymore. I don’t know or understand what is on your desk, what is in those files, why you’re so pre-occupied with it that everything else has to wait…
I mean, I do
understand the importance of standing up for kids like these, but if I don’t know
that you’re defending a child from being seriously abused, then… I don’t know what is going on in your head… I swear that I’ve never read any of your files before. Never! And I’ll never do it again….” He apologizes.
Kevin is still annoyed, but not angry anymore. Instead he seems to really think about what Scotty had just said to him.
“Would it have helped if I would have told you what the case was about?” He asks eventually.
“Yes, it would have. You don’t have to give names, dates and detail, but if you would have just told me what you’re working on, I could have understood why you were so focused on it.”
“I’ve grown so used to being alone in this….” Kevin sighs quietly.
“I know. That is also a bit my fault. We used to talk about these things. You’d never give me details, but you’d tell me what was on your mind, what frustrated you or what you felt was unfair. I think that the lines of communication are still slightly disturbed between us. I want to fix that. Please?”
Kevin bows his head. When had he stopped talking things through with Scotty? He sighs. Scotty is right, there was a time when talking to him was so easy. Of course, Scotty wasn’t so busy with the restaurant at the time, not like he’s now.
“I think you’re right. Maybe we were growing apart again…” Kevin sighs.
He can see that Scotty is really sorry about his earlier actions. He lifts his head and a second later he can feel Scotty’s lips on his. Kevin wraps his arms around Scotty, ready to lose himself in this delicious moment of tenderness. Scotty smiles when he feels Kevin’s reaction. He knows that Kevin has already forgiven him.
Scotty slowly closes the door of the bathroom behind him and he watches how Kevin is already in bed, lying on his belly, reading a book. Scotty smiles and walks up to the foot of the bed. He drops his towel, gets on the bed and crawls over to Kevin. Kevin smiles when he realizes what Scotty is about to do.
“So, am I forgiven for my stupidity this afternoon?” Scotty hums in Kevin’s ear.
“You are…” Kevin answers with a little smile.
“Does this mean we can finally have sex again?” Scotty asks.
“Sex? What is that? Can’t seem to remember….”
“You need me to refresh your memory?” Scotty asks ever-so-innocent.
“Is it worth it?” Kevin wonders.
“Oh, it is.” Scotty promises and he places a little kiss in Kevin’s neck, before lying down next to Kevin, on his side to watch Kevin.
He knows that Kevin is looking at him too and that Kevin takes in every inch of his naked body. And, judging by the grin on Kevin’s face, he must like the view.
“I’d forgotten how great it is to just be able to look at you.” Scotty’s voice is soft and tender. And it’s not a lie. He had missed Kevin too.
“Then we really haven’t been seeing enough of each other these last few weeks, because I’d forgotten how wonderful it is see you…” Kevin reaches out and caresses Scotty’s face, giving Scotty the opportunity to kiss the inside of Kevin’s hand. Kevin's fingertips slide over Scotty’s mouth.
Scotty’s lips part, he takes in Kevin’s index-finger, sucking gently on it. He can hear Kevin’s breathing go faster at the insinuation and he smiles when he looks at Kevin.
“I want you.” Kevin whispers and he gets on top of Scotty. He kisses Scotty passionately and he shoves his tongue deep in Scotty’s mouth.
Scotty sucks him in. He can feel how Kevin moves his body against him. Kevin is so aroused, it makes Scotty smile.
“I’ve neglected you for too long.” Kevin says between two kisses. Scotty can only agree with a moan, because Kevin’s thumbs slide over his nipples while Kevin’s mouth places sweet little kisses on his throat.
Scotty’s hands slide over Kevin’s shoulders, pushing him carefully further down. Kevin’s mouth leaves a trail of kisses over Scotty’s chest and stomach. Sometimes he carefully bites Scotty’s skin, making Scotty arch of the bed with a mixture of shock and ecstasy. Finally Kevin gets to where Scotty wants him to be.
“Yessss.” Scotty nearly cries out when he feels Kevin’s mouth on him. He closes his eyes tightly, as he pushes himself even deeper. His hands are in Kevin’s hair, holding Kevin’s head steady. “So good… so good…” He whispers. A tremor goes through him when he feels Kevin’s first steps to preparing him.
Fingers slide in him, getting him ready for what is to come. There’s no escaping Kevin’s mouth or his fingers. Scotty’s breathing is uneven. He’s so close, but he knows that Kevin will not let him go. Not yet. Finally he can feel Kevin’s quiet request to turn over. Scotty gives him what he wants.
On his hands and his knees, he can feel Kevin’s hands move down his back, a gentle caress to make him feel more comfortable. He relaxes under the sweet touch. He’s ready for Kevin and after the first thrusts he finds his usual rhythm with Kevin. They become one, like they always do.
Every thrust takes Scotty closer to the edge. Sweat is forming on his forehead, his breathing is heavy and his closes his eyes so tightly it almost hurts. He quietly encourages Kevin to go on, to take him harder. Kevin’s hand disappears underneath Scotty. Scotty cries out.
“Come on, baby, … come… come for me.” Kevin’s words are soft, but Scotty hears them anyway. Scotty surrenders to his feelings. Nothing else matters except finding satisfaction and with a loud scream he finally comes all over Kevin’s hand. He shakes and shivers from the impact.
He’s aware that his reaction causes one in Kevin, but he can’t be too bothered to worry about that. He sinks down on the mattress and waits for the moment to pass. He feels Kevin close against him. He can hear Kevin breathe loudly, still trying to get his feelings back in order and he smiles Kevin’s arm rests possessively around him.
When Scotty wakes up it's in the middle of the night. The room is dark and the only noise he hears are the usual noises of the night. A car passing by, some siren, a shout on the street. He turns over to find Kevin sleeping next to him. He looks so peaceful now.
He puts his arm around Kevin and pulls him closer. Kevin makes a little noise, turns a bit so he can be closer to Scotty, but he continues his deep sleep. It feels good. It's how Scotty wants to see it for all eternity. Just Kevin and him. Peaceful... In love.