Disclaimer: Lyrics to One Direction’s “Change my mind” and Kevin/Scotty aren’t mine. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: Sometimes a song can just remind you of something
Inspiration: One Direction - Change my mind
Well, he won’t be home for any time soon. Traffic is moving at snail-pace only. So many lanes, almost no movement. He knows why. He had heard it on the radio. Big car-crash. Several injured, some severely. Two deaths. For now. And he knows that he should be glad that's not him involved in yet another car-crash.
Scotty leans back in chair. He’s glad that he’s in Kevin’s car. It’s more luxurious than his own car. His is truly meant for work, but these car-seats are far more comfortable. Focus back on the road. Just a bit of gas and stop. Wow! He has advanced again. At this speed he’ll be home by midnight... And it’s only 5 in the afternoon.
The radio-presenter introduces the next song and Scotty rolls his eyes. He hates the singer, and so he shifts from radio to cd-player. Whatever Kevin has for music in his car, it can’t be as bad as the singer, who he’s trying to avoid. Immediately the car is filled with the loud crashing sound of drums and Scotty quickly turns down the sound. Of course, it’s Olivia’s music.
“R.O.C.K. me again. R.O.C.K. me again...” The boy-band sings. Scotty closes his eyes. One Direction. It’s not that he dislikes the band. It’s more the fact that some of their songs seems to be on infinite and forever repeat where Olivia is concerned and that she (and therefore Scotty) hears the same songs over and over and over and over and over again.
Scotty hesitates between switching off the cd and returning to the radio, or just continue listening. It’s not like the boys make bad music. “Rock me” is finished and Scotty expects the next song to be “Back for you”, like it always does at home, but this is the cd and it plays the songs that Olivia usually skips.
Because it’s starts softly, Scotty turns up the volume again. This is not one of the upbeat songs. It starts with just a guitar and Louis’ voice. And as it comes through the speakers with an intensity, as if Louis is next to Scotty in the car. It forces Scotty to listen to the song.
“The end of the night. We should say goodbye, but we carry on, while everyone’s gone.”
A shiver runs along Scotty’s spine when a far-away memory comes back to him. He’s in Kevin’s bed, where he shouldn’t be. Kevin is asleep in his arms, where he shouldn’t be. And he feels happy, when he shouldn’t be. Kevin and he had kissed, touched, caressed, explored, rediscovered, which they shouldn’t have done.
Zayn takes over the song.
“Never felt like this before-ore, are we friends or are we more? As I’m walking towards the door I’m not sure.” No, neither had Scotty been. He hadn’t been sure of anything anymore, because Kevin should have been in love with Jason and not with him.
But it’s isn’t until Liam sings his part of the song, that Scotty’s eyes fill with tears.
“But baby if you say you want me to stay, I’ll change my mind, cause I don’t wanna know I’m walking away, if you’ll be mine.” Had that not been the biggest question for a long time. Would Kevin really be his?
Oh, that feeling of being caught between hope and desperation. Not daring to dream, but wanting to think of a possible future. He would look into Kevin’s eyes and he would see love. He would look at his own reflection in the mirror, and still have the nagging doubt whether or not he’s the one who will stay.
On automatic pilot, Scotty moves up a bit again. A car before him has decided to move lanes, creating a stop in the other lane and his lane to move forward again. Scotty’s hand rests on top of the steering wheel. It gives him a renewed chance to realize that Kevin had put a wedding-ring on his finger and what it had meant to them both. And to think he had nearly lost it all, ....
Had Kevin ever doubted about coming back after he had found out that Scotty had cheated? Had he ever really considered not coming back to Scotty at all?
“But baby if you say you want me to stay, I’ll change my mind, cause I don’t wanna know I’m walking away, if you’ll be mine,..”
Scotty had vowed he would never cheat again. That he would be Kevin’s husband always. What had happened between them, had only proven one thing to him. That he never wanted to be separated from Kevin again. His phone rings and Scotty hits the pause-button.
“Hey, babe. How are you?” Scotty smiles at the sound of Kevin’s voice.
“Good. I was thinking about you.”
“I hope it was something decent.”
“It was more X-rated.” Scotty jokes.
“I’ll forgive you.” Kevin laughs. “Guess you won’t be home for a while, huh? Mind if Olivia and I start eating? She’s hungry and Daniel is cranky. I think that ‘early to bed’ is needed for both of them.... As a matter of fact, it wouldn’t be bad for me either... But I’m waiting up, because I want you to tuck me in...”
“No, go ahead and eat. And, Kev?”
“I love you.”
“I know. I love you.”
“I’m glad you changed your mind.”
“What are you talking about?” Kevin asks, half laughingly, half concerned.
“I’ll tell you tonight. I just want you to know that I love you and that I’m glad that you asked me to stay.” Scotty answers.
From the silence on the other side, he gets the message that Kevin has no clue what’s going on.
“Okay...?” Kevin eventually responds hesitantly. “If you’re happy, I’m happy?” He ventures, hoping that these are the right words to say. “I love you too.” He must be figuring that he can’t really go wrong with those words and Scotty grins. “I got to go... Olivia is calling me.”
“Bye.” Scotty says, and he first moves up a bit in his lane again, before pressing the pause-button again. As the boys pick up where they left off, Scotty smiles. His frustration of being stuck in traffic is gone. He might as well relax and make the best of it.... And listen to some more music.
“So baby if you say you’ll want me to stay, stay for the night, I’ll change my mind.”