THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
About: Kevin & Scotty ( with Chad & Jason dropping by occassionally)
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing the characters, no harm will come to them. (I think...) Written with love not for money.
Rate: I'm going for NC-17 eventually. :)
Summery: Scotty could use a vacation.... So could Kevin...
… ‘talk to you as soon as I know something’…
That is his last memory that Scotty has of Kevin… Because as soon as the news of Saul’s heart-attack had hit, their lives got struck by a tidal-wave of epic proportions. Kevin had rushed to the hospital and Scotty had been worried as well. But it hadn’t been Kevin who had called Scotty. It had been Chad.
Saul nearly died, but had he pulled through in the end. It was however clear that he would not be the same energetic Saul that he had been before the attack. And suddenly all eyes had been on Scotty. With Saul still in the hospital, it was obvious that the restaurant would be without an owner.
The Walkers had known that Scotty should have taken over the restaurant, in due time. So Nora and William approached him, with the request that Scotty would take over the restaurant, sooner than expected, to prevent the restaurant, that Saul had worked for all his life, suffering too much damage.
Scotty had to think it over. It both frightened and excited him. He explained to William and Nora that he wasn’t sure that he was ready, especially business-wise, to take over. And he wanted Saul to be proud of him and not wreck Saul’s restaurant. William had merely nodded in agreement of Scotty’s objection and he had promised Scotty all the help he needed…
And so, Scotty’s life got invaded by the Walkers. They couldn’t be more loving, caring, supporting and omni-present if they had tried. To Scotty, it had sometimes seemed that they were everywhere. And that they were there all the time. At all hours of the day. And night.
William gave Scotty a crash-course on how to run a business. Sarah and Tommy helped him with the bookkeeping. Nora helped him with the kitchen. Justin spent a lot of his free time helping Scotty move his belongings to the apartment above the restaurant.
Kitty took care of the PR-side by arranging interviews with Scotty for influential magazines and by teaching Scotty how to answer questions from journalists. She also showed him the advantages of having her connections. On the other hand, Scotty didn’t hear much from either Chad or Jason aside from the cheque that was sent to him.
He had considered sending it back, because he had felt that taking care of Kevin hadn’t really been ‘a job’, but when he heard nothing from either Chad or Jason for a two weeks, the feeling crept on him that, to them, it had been merely a job and that he was no longer important to them now that he had stopped selling his body.
So he decided to keep the cheque for now. He couldn’t quite bring himself to send it back, because he simply couldn’t afford to be too generous. On the other hand, he couldn’t cash it either, because it would mean saying a definite goodbye to some fantasies he had had about Kevin and him together. And he wasn’t willing yet to let them go.
It hurt him tremendously that neither Chad nor Jason contacted him, because he loved them both, so Scotty put all his energy and frustration in his work. It all got too busy in his life. The restaurant was booked full every night and Scotty’s simple, but delicious meals left the kitchen almost faster than he could prepare them. Scotty worked tirelessly.
He was focused and dedicated and he knew he had the full support from the Walkers. Well, almost all of them… Kevin had helped quietly to get the sale of the restaurant done quickly, but other than that, it seemed as if Kevin had disappeared from his life completely.
Kevin didn’t call, didn’t drop by or even have some interest conveyed by other members of his family. And Scotty didn’t want to ask about Kevin either. He had to move on and forget his beautiful days with Kevin. If it was Kevin’s desire to forget their holiday together, then Scotty would respect his choice.
Monday-morning. Scotty rolls over in his new bed and he sighs. The first real day off in three months! Even on the days that the restaurant is closed he has a million things to take care off. But not today. He had planned today to be a “Scotty”-day and he has asked everyone to leave him alone.
So, for once he had slept in and he had woken up at his own time, rather than by the alarm-clock. It is a weird feeling of luxury. He sits up in his bed and looks around. Even with most of his belongings still packed in moving-boxes, somehow this place already feels more like ‘home’ than his old apartment ever had.
The bed-room is finished though. Justin, the least intrusive Walker, had gently pointed out that Scotty needed to focus his attention on one room to find peace and quiet. The bedroom had somehow seemed like the most reasonable choice. He had bought a new bed, new mattress, new linen and a new closet.
Justin had put enough shelves on the wall, so Scotty could put ‘things’ there, even if, for now, Scotty had no idea what those ‘things’ should be. Cookbooks? Knick-knacks? Perhaps a few pictures - if he had any worth framing? Or should he buy some beautiful sculpture? Or … the possibilities are endless in this house… His home.
He gets out of bed, splashes some cold water in his face to wake up some more. The bathroom is small, but it’s just fine for Scotty. No bath, but it has a good shower and Scotty really doesn’t need more than that. He enters his living-room and almost considers making a u-turn and go back into the bedroom.
There are boxes everywhere. Still so much unpacking to do. He’s torn between spending his day off doing nothing at all and relax. Or spending it cleaning up and getting his new house organized. In an attempt to delay the inevitable, he begins by making coffee and a sandwich. Perhaps that will help him make a choice.
After his first bite out of his sandwich, he opens the nearest box. The right one. Cups, dishes and mugs, all nicely stashed, protected by bubble-wrap. Scotty puts it away in the cupboards, in the realization that he no longer has to ‘borrow’ dinnerware from the restaurant.
Second box. Pots and pans. Good. Now he no longer has to borrow those anymore either. Or eat in the kitchen of the restaurant. So, two boxes folded up again and gone. A million more to go. Or so it feels. Scotty looks at the several boxes that have been placed in several places. Some so they could be used as side-tables or lamp-stands.
Scotty takes another cup of coffee. Coffee in hand, he wonders which box to open next, when a knock on his door breaks his thoughts. Scotty rolls his eyes. A knock on the door means only one thing. Someone who has the key to the now-closed restaurant downstairs, which means… a Walker…
He counts to ten, but then goes to open the door anyway and he nearly drops his coffee, when he sees who’s standing there.
“Hi.” Kevin answers shyly. He seems insecure, hands in the pockets of his jeans as if he doesn't know what else to do with them.
Scotty doesn’t know what to say. All this time not a word and suddenly Kevin shows up on his doorstep?!
“I know. I was rude to not get in touch with you.” Kevin seems apologetic enough, so Scotty shrugs.
“You didn’t owe me anything. I was just a….” Kevin places his finger on Scotty’s lips.
“Don’t say that. You weren’t ‘just’ anything to me. You meant a lot to me. I just… A lot of things happened at the same time… And things got complicated…. And time went by so fast… I’m really sorry. Can we please talk?”
“Sure. Come in.” Scotty steps aside after a short moment of consideration. He point towards the coffee-maker, silently asking if Kevin wants coffee. Kevin nods, so Scotty puts some in one of the cups he had just dug up.
“You’ve done an amazing job downstairs.” Kevin says. Scotty blushes at the compliment.
“Thank you. Your family approved and so did Saul. Have you seen him recently?”
“Yesterday. He’s doing fine. I actually didn’t want to come here today, because you had asked everyone to leave you alone, and I assumed the same would go for me.
But… my mom kinda harassed me into coming, feeling that I should apologize for being such an uncaring fool and dad told me that that I should talk to you. Then Kitty and Sarah felt the need to tell me that I treated you very badly, which I couldn’t disagree with, and, as it turns out, even Tommy likes you….
The piece de resistance was when Justin gave me an earful, because he and I never fight, .. and that’s when I knew.... I had to throw in the towel and go against your expressed wish ... and that I should come here to see you.” Kevin explains and Scotty begins to laugh. Sounds like the Walkers alright.
“If you don’t want me here, I’m gone after my coffee, just tell me. I would understand it if you’d be terribly angry with me.”
“I’m not angry with you.” Scotty decides. He really isn’t angry. He still has a certain feeling for Kevin, whether he want to admit it to himself or not.
Plus Kevin clearly shows that he’s serious about his apology, so Scotty finds it easier to forgive him. They quietly drink their coffee. It’s clear that Kevin wants to discuss something but doesn’t know where to begin.
“Have you spoken to either Chad or Jason lately?” Kevin suddenly asks. Scotty shakes his head.
“I’m not longer working as a prostitute. I think I’m no longer needed.” Scotty can’t help the slightly bitter undertone to his voice. Kevin frowns.
“I can guarantee you that you’re wrong. Their silence is linked to mine… And I’ve been wondering in how far I can trust you with the truth…. But, you’ve always been discrete… So.. If I were to tell you something, can it remain a secret?”
“Sure.” Scotty answers with such sincerity that Kevin immediately believes him.
“It’s not a pretty story…” Kevin begins.
“I’m not going to judge or tell.” Scotty promises.
“Do you remember that Jason told us that nothing had happened between him and my husband? He rather emphasized it?”
“Yes. We had wondered afterwards why he had done that…” Scotty remembers.
“Turns out that Jason hadn’t told me the complete truth.”
“Oh, my God, please don’t tell me that he did have an affair with your husband?”
“By now, I almost wish he had. No. Jason didn’t want him, so Guy took what he wanted against Jason’s wishes….”
The breath he lets out is a shaky one. It annoys him that he somehow still feels as if he should use softer words for the fact that Jason got raped, but he still struggles with all his feelings. But Scotty understands quickly and he is clearly confused and shocked.
“Oh… Wow… I … I don’t know… I.. didn’t see that one coming…. Wow.”
“I think that’s also why Chad and Jason haven’t been in touch with you. They had quite some things to work through. And me too… Both Chad and I had so much anger and guilt to deal with. And Jason…. Can’t even imagine what he must have felt.”
“I’m so sorry to hear this…” Scotty says quietly.
“See, when I found out, I felt dirty myself. Though I hadn’t done anything, I felt as if I had, because he was my husband, and at the same time I felt somehow violated as well, because he had attacked one of my best friends. Do you remember how you said that you wanted to break with your past, by completely giving up your former work and focusing your mind on the restaurant?”
When Scotty nods, Kevin continues: “I had to do the same. Get rid of my past. What little love that I still had for Guy was completely destroyed when I found out the truth. I could forgive a possible affair, but … not a rape.
My marriage felt fake. Though he never did anything to physically hurt me, not even in hindsigh.... I couldn’t get over the fact that he had simply taken from Jason what he wanted, regardless of Jason’s refusal... I remember looking at his pictures and … feeling like I was looking at a complete stranger. He was no longer my husband, but just some… I don’t know what to call him…”
“What did you do?” Scotty asks. Intrigued by how distant Kevin sounds, almost as if he’s talking about a stranger and not himself.
“… Got rid of everything. Yacht. House. Art-work. Paintings. Books. Anything that would remind me of him. Moved back in with my parents… Got my old room back. The family helped me move. Helped me get rid of his belongings. His clothes…. Everything.”
“I … I didn’t know that… They never said a word.”
“I begged them not to say anything to you. Not only because you had enough to deal with, but also because I wanted to tell you myself. On my own terms. In my own time. When I was ready. It was a some sort of cleansing ritual for me. Something I had to go through.
I feel a lot better now. Jason, Chad and I went through a great deal of the process together. Jason and Chad are not as far as I am yet. I’m not ready either, but I had reached a point where I felt that I could confide in you…. That I could talk to you...” Kevin looks up at him and Scotty smiles back at Kevin.
“I’m glad you decided to come here…”
“Can you forgive me? I really wanted to be there for you, but…”
“It’s alright. I’ve been well taken off by the rest of your family…” Scotty teasingly says. “And if you wish to focus on something else…? Can you help me unpack….?”
Kevin and Scotty slowly unpacked box after box. They bring the empty ones downstairs so they could be returned to William Walker’s warehouse. And slowly there’s more room to move around, while cupboards and closets get filled. Shelves don't remain empty anymore either. For Scotty things started to fall into place.
He somehow knows exactly where he wants his belongings to go and he’s amused by how often Kevin feels the same way he does. Kevin never disagrees with him. Scotty never has to defend his choice, which feels good, because, in the end, this is his house and it’s nice to see Kevin accept and respect this.
Scotty sometimes bring the conversation back to Kevin, Chad and Jason, but then just easily moves away from the topic again, if he senses that it starts to affect Kevin too much. The events of the past have left big scars, but Scotty is convinced that Kevin, Chad and Jason can get through this and come out even stronger.
In all, the day is an enjoyable one. They laugh, eat, drink coffee, listen to music, work and clean up and Scotty can see his apartment slowly turn into a ‘home’. His cookbooks are on the shelves. His kitchen-ware in place. The music is all one place as are his clothes. There’s structure and organization in his life again.
They have a simple dinner, the least Scotty can do to thank Kevin for his help and for the great company that he’s been, but with the dimmed light and the delicious red wine to relax them, and the knowledge that for both of them another lonely night is approaching, they are both suddenly more quiet.
“I have to go.” Kevin eventually says. “If you need my help with the dishes…?”
“No. No, it’s alright. I can handle it…” Scotty gets up. Kevin walks towards the door and, deep in his heart, Scotty wants to stop him from leaving, but he doesn’t know how. He’s not even sure if Kevin is remotely interested in him.
When he’s a few steps away from the door, Kevin turns to Scotty.
“Scotty… Forgive me if I misread some signs, but … when we were together on the yacht, I had the impression that… but maybe that’s just wishful thinking, I know,… but.. I thought that you and I… I don’t know… Forget it. It’s probably just me.. I’ll see you? ”
He turns back towards the door and is about to open it, when he feels Scotty right behind him, closing the door again with quite some strength. The next moment he’s trapped between Scotty and the door. He can feel Scotty’s warm breath on his neck.
“Don’t go.. Please, don’t go…” Scotty begs. “I don’t know what we had on the yacht, but I’ve missed you like crazy…” Scotty kisses the side of Kevin’s neck.
“…. Missed you too.” Kevin moans, letting his forehead rest against the door. Scotty puts his arms around Kevin from behind, pulling Kevin closer.
Judging from the hardness he feels behind him, Kevin has to acknowledge that there’s no mistake, Scotty is more than interested in him.
“Thing are so screwed up in my life right now, I can’t make any promises…” Kevin says, moving his ass against Scotty’s body, to feel again how aroused Scotty is.
“I’m not asking for any..” Scotty kisses Kevin’s ear.
“… I just know I want you…. So much….”
“And I want you.” Scotty answers. He spins Kevin around so that he’s with his back against the door.
His mouth claims Kevin’s and he hungrily shoves his body against Kevin’s. Kevin wraps his arms around Scotty’s neck and pushes closer. Much to Kevin’s surprise Scotty easily picks Kevin up, carries him to the bedroom where he, rather unelegantly, drops Kevin on the bed.
“That’s got to be very bad for your back.” Kevin can’t help but joke.
“I’ve grown so used to carrying all sorts of heavy things around…” Scotty merely laughs. Kevin tries to sit up, but Scotty pushes him down on his back again. He lifts up Kevin’s legs and removes the boots, then the socks and then he reaches down to open Kevin’s jeans.
Kevin quickly takes off this t-shirt and soon enough he’s naked on the bed. Scotty looks him up and down, enjoys the view and, with a little smile, he gets on the bed as well and then he sinks down on Kevin’s body. Scotty is still dressed and the rough fabric comes in touch with Kevin’s sensitive skin, making him buck up against Scotty.
Scotty caresses Kevin’s face before he allows them to get lost in another kiss. They struggle with his shirt, his pants… but eventually Scotty is as naked as Kevin is.
“God, I love this so much.” Kevin moans between two kisses and he pushes his body up against Scotty.
“Turn over?” Scotty begs, he lifts his body away from Kevin’s and Kevin immediately follows up on the request. Beyond that point their love-making becomes messy to say the least. Both men are eager to be as close to each other as they can be. Their kisses are not too coordinated, but the feelings behind the kisses make both men dizzy with longing.
Scotty seems to have forgotten his years of experience, because he hardly prepares Kevin as good as he could have. Kevin grimaces with pain and Scotty apologizes, shocked by his own lack of self-control. He kisses the back of Kevin’s neck, in an attempt to take some of Kevin’s discomfort away.
“It’s alright.” Kevin lets him know softly. The initial pain is worth it, because it reminds Scotty that he should be a more attentive lover and soon enough their love-making is as Kevin’s remembers. Scotty’s hold on Kevin is firm and strong and each thrust make both men moan with lust.
“I won’t be able to last long….” Scotty warns.
“Do it….. Just do it!” Kevin tells him with a strangled voice. It’s a signal for both him and Scotty to give up the fight. Fingers thread. Hands find their way. Scotty’s grip becomes even stronger and they both realize they are close to coming.
“Kevin…!” Scotty cries out softly as if to warn him, but it’s too late. One last strong thrust that seems to reach deep inside Kevin is the tipping point for both of them. Kevin lets himself drift away for a few moments. The bed moves. Kevin assumes that Scotty gets rid of the condom he used.
Kevin’s eyelids are too heavy though. The emotional rollercoaster-ride of the last few weeks, the endless nights, the many times he had to go through the feelings when he had to explain what happened to his family, to the McCallisters, to others…And his concern for Chad and Jason.
They’ve mingled with this emotional, but ultimately relaxing day. Good company, freedom to speak, being with someone who listens but doesn’t judge… And the delicious dinner, the good wine…. The great sex…. They all come together and it’s exhausting.
“Kevin?” Scotty asks. Kevin fights to open his eyes.
“I know… I should leave…” Kevin acknowledges, but he feels an arm around his waist.
“Stay… I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.” Scotty says.
“Me neither….” Kevin confesses. He turns around in Scotty’s arms and begins to kiss him.
“Get some sleep then…” Scotty wants to answer one more kiss, but Kevin is already asleep.
END OF CHAPTER 10