Just a quiet holiday 09/?
THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
About: Kevin & Scotty ( with Chad & Jason dropping by occassionally)
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing the characters, no harm will come to them. (I think...) Written with love not for money.
Rate: I'm going for NC-17 eventually. :)
Summery: Scotty could use a vacation.... So could Kevin...
Where we ended last episode: Scotty asked Jason to talk to Kevin about his supposed relationship with Guy, but Jason doesn't tell Kevin the full truth. He doesn't tell him that Guy had raped him the night of the accident...
TWO WEEKS LATER. BY NOW, WELL INTO THE THIRD WEEK OF THE 5 WEEK HOLIDAY
“I’m glad we’re on our way again.” Scotty laughs. The sea-breeze is strong, but wonderful after those long hot days from before the storm. Kevin’s yacht had easily lived through the storm. Kevin and Scotty had spent a few more days at the hotel, filling their days with sight-seeing, having fun and a lot of sex.
Kevin smiles and wraps his arms around Scotty from behind. He places a kiss on Scotty’s naked shoulder.
“The alarm has been turned on. If any ship approaches us, it will go off. We’re not needed on deck right now.”
Scotty moans when Kevin softly bites his skin, not leaving a mark, but it's noticeable enough for Scotty to react to it.
“What did you have mind?” He asks teasingly. Kevin’s hands slide down Scotty’s belly. Scotty turns in Kevin’s arms. The kiss they share is just the start of an afternoon of fun.
Chad doesn’t get it. He cannot understand why Jason is pulling away from him like this. At first, Jason had moved into the guest-room, under the pretence of having a cold and not wishing to pass it on to Chad, who would be presenting an award-show later that week. And at first, Chad hadn’t thought more of it.
But the week passed and though Jason showed no signs of actually being sick, he remained in the guest-room, even though it’s now far into the second week. Chad wonders if he had done something wrong. His mind keep going over the things he had done these last two weeks, but he can’t think of anything.
But it’s nearly midnight and Chad cannot sleep. His bed is cold and empty without Jason. He wants to snuggle up to Jason and just be with him, hold him, breathe in this scent that tells him he’s ‘home’ and with the man he loves more than life itself. He opens his laptop, unsure of what to do next.
His fingers rest on his keyboard. He knows he has an alternative, but it’s not something he likes to do. He knows that both he and Jason are very much in the view of paparazzi, but also of people in general. Unfortunately he also knows that every glance, every smiles and every handshake gets turned into ‘affairs’.
He sighs, but gives in. He searches his own name first, but strangely enough his searches on either Google or Twitter come up with something useful. He was photographed with fans, but nothing that could be an explanation for Jason’s anger towards him,.. because he must be angry with Chad, if he would rather sleep in the guest-room than with Chad.
But there’s nothing. Not even a rumor. He feels weird. Why is Jason so angry with him? What he done? What had he not done? Chad frowns. If the problem is not Chad, then logically the problem must be Jason…. But that is illogic. No one is more caring, loving, considerate and loyal than Jason….
Yet, his fingers slide over the key-board again. He’s still on Twitter, so why not start there? ... Search “Jason McCallister”... Chad scrolls down to two weeks ago, when all this had apparently started… Jason’s name begins to pop up. Tweets from people who saw Jason on his way, further south. Chad remembers the day.
The day before it had stormed so badly that his flight had been cancelled. He hadn’t been home. And apparently Jason had taken the time to go somewhere… He’s been spotted at a hotel. Hotel? … Speaking to a young man…. They went up to the rooms…. Chad turns cold. What had Jason been doing? Had he had... an affair?
The next tweet is two hours later and it has a picture… Chad takes a deep breath. Not sure, if he truly wants to know if Jason is having an affair or not, he hesitates to click the link, but then he does it anyway. By now, he’s prepared for anything and everybody, except for the picture that pops up.
The picture is a bit blurry and taken from a distance, but even that doesn’t stop Chad from immediately recognizing the men, on the picture with Jason, as Kevin and Scotty. He begins to laugh, rather nervously. What had he been putting in his mind? Jason? Cheating? Never! He lets out a sigh of relief.
Neither Jason nor Kevin would cheat and Scotty is such a part of their house-hold, that neither Jason or Chad would consider having sex with Scotty as cheating to a level that it would require Jason to move into the guest-room. He laughs over his own stupidity, but it doesn’t stop him from noticing the serious looks on their faces…
He brushes it aside as just the moment that was captured by the camera. He could put the pieces together of what was going on. The storm would have required Kevin and Scotty to return to be shore and, maybe, Jason found out and decided to pay them a visit… Maybe they looked so serious because there was damage to the boat. … Or something….
He closes his laptop. Time to put idiotic thoughts of cheating on ice and find out what is going on. He goes to the guest-bedroom and carefully opens the door. He hopes that Jason is still awake, as is usually the case, but not tonight. Jason is asleep. But his sleep is not an easy one.
He fights with his sheets, sweat on his body. He clearly has a nightmare and Chad moves closer to the bed, ready to wake up Jason, when Jason lets out a little cry.
“Stop it! Stop! NO….. Guy, stop!” With an even louder scream Jason wakes up and sits up in his bed.
He breathes heavily as if he’s out of breath. There are tears on his face and Chad backs away. He had watched Jason struggle in his nightmare and he wishes that he could un-think the thought that just crept into his mind. Jason realizes he’s not alone, and for a moment, he fears that it’s Guy who’s in the room with him, but then he sees that it’s Chad.
Their eyes meet. He sees the horror in Chad’s eyes and he knows that Chad must have guessed right about his nightmare. Jason’s lips form the words ‘I’m sorry’, but there’s no sound to his voice. He swallows as hard as he can, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat that prevents him saying something.
“Please, don’t leave me..." Jason begs. "I didn’t want it…I really didn’t…. I fought, but …” He can’t say one more word. Not only because Chad’s hold on him so tight that he can barely breathe, but also because his lips are covered by Chad’s and he can feel Chad’s tears on his face…
ANOTHER WEEK LAT ER
There’s something so arousing about watching down, from between his eye-lashes, and knowing what happens underneath that sheet, that moves up and down. And knowing it, because it’s actually your body that Kevin is controlling. Scotty closes his eyes. His lips part to let out a moan.
He pushes the sheet aside and lets his fingers get entangled in Kevin’s curls. If it were up to him, Kevin would never, ever, be allowed to cut those curls again. He drifts closer and closer to the edge, shoving himself deeper down Kevin’s throat. Somewhere deep inside, he’s aware that it’s actually his job to satisfy Kevin and not the other way around.
However Kevin makes his own rules and who is Scotty to disagree with them? Especially if those rules consist of that wonderful mouth on his cock and those fingers entering him with a rhythm that is driving him completely out of his mind. The stimulation becomes too much to handle.
With a loud cry he finally comes and he can’t let go of Kevin’s hair until he’s completely empty. Out of breath, he lets his head fall back on the pillow.
“That was great…” He says. Kevin has a rather smug grin on his face.
“Just to say ‘thank you’ for what you did this morning…”
“Remind me to do it to you more often, if this is my reward.” Scotty winks and he pulls Kevin closer in his arms. It’s warm outside, and downstairs, on the yacht, the bedroom has changed into a small sauna, but neither of the men actually cares. The sex they have is too good and too frequent to let a little heat hold them back.
Not that long ago, Scotty had dreaded the idea that he would have to spend five weeks with Kevin on this yacht, but time has flown by. Kevin’s confession to Scotty (and the subsequent talk with Jason) had cleared the air between them in so many ways. Everything had become so much easier.
Scotty had discovered so many aspects of Kevin. Kevin laughs more, he’s flirtatious, he loves to tease Scotty and to get teased in return. He’s also a very good and versatile lover and Scotty loves to be with him and he loves the feeling that they are equal partners when it comes to sex.
The weeks have finally become this lazy, languid summer holiday-period that he had always dreamed of having. Just lazily reading a book, do some sunbathing, some swimming, have great sex with the man you’re with, eat easy healthy meals and drink delicious wine.
Kevin stares at the ceiling, caressing the arm that Scotty has put around him.
“We have to go back….” He eventually says. He can feel Scotty’s arm stiffen for a second.
“I know.” Scotty answers slowly.
“… I don’t want this holiday to end….” Kevin adds.
“Me neither…” Scotty buries his nose in Kevin’s hair. Kevin’s grip on Scotty’s arm tightens.
“… but we’re expected back by the end of next week…”
“Yeah…” Scotty closes his eyes. He wants to forget all about that aspect. It’s so easy to fantasize about certain possibilities, when he holds Kevin in his arms.
“I suppose… that once you’re back in the city, you’ll go back to.. being with other men..?”
Kevin’s question is slow and careful, as if he’s not sure that he really wants to have the answer.
“I’m not sure. It depends…”
“On whether or not I’m going to take Chad and Jason’s check….”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve had such a great time with you…. And I feel so relaxed and …. Like anything is possible… These few weeks have been life-changing for me as well. I feel like I had the time to look at my life and my job from the outside in. Just step away and look at what is going on…
So, I feel like it would be wrong to accept their money now. They hired me out of concern for you, and I’ve had my doubts, but, to be honest, I’ve had a wonderful time with you.”
“I had my doubts as well that this would work, but I have to say, that I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this happy and content with my life….”
“And there’s something else… When we were on shore, three days ago, to get some more supplies, I called my real estate agent to find out if he managed to sell my penthouse-apartment. And he has! And with considerable profit! That will give me financial security for a while.
So, I called your uncle Saul. We had a quick talk and he has agreed to let me have the space above the restaurant somewhat sooner. I can move in as soon as we’re back… But I also feel that once I’ve moved in there … things should have been changed. You know, start with a clean slate.
This means that … I’m considering going cold turkey here and simply cut all my ties with my past. No more selling my body. I’m starting a new life from the moment I’m back on shore…”
“Yes, and….” Scotty can’t finish his sentence, because Kevin’s phone begins to ring.
“Isn’t that only for emergencies?” Scotty asks. Kevin nods and becomes white as sheet. For his family to call him on this number means that there is bad news.
He picks up the phone and walks away. Scotty sits up and follows Kevin’s every movement. Kevin seems shocked. He runs his fingers through his hair. He seems concerned. He moves those large hands around. The conversation seems intense. He seems nearly in tears. And Scotty's worry grows.
Finally, Kevin puts down his phone and after a few seconds he joins Scotty again.
“Is there a problem?” Scotty asks.
“Yeah.” Kevin answers in a rough voice. “My uncle Saul was just rushed off to the hospital. Heart-attack.” Kevin answers.
Kevin enters the large “Silence room” at the hospital, not sure what he should do here, but he had to get away from all the busy and nervous energy of the Walkers. Saul was fighting for his life, while outside the door his family was supporting his husband. Kevin knows he should be there too, but he doesn’t have the energy.
Getting back to shore as quickly as he could, Kevin had been happy when Scotty had insisted that Kevin should go to his uncle as fast as possible, while he’d stay to finish cleaning up and locking up the yacht. They hardly said goodbye. No last moment kisses or vague promises. Just a ‘talk to you as soon as I know something’…
He wishes that Scotty were here though. There was something calming and soothing about having him around. It was like no disaster could be so bad as it seemed. His eyes adjust to the darkness and he discovers he’s not alone. He’s not so much surprised by the fact that there’s someone there, but he’s more surprised by who it is.
“Chad?” He asks and, shocked, Chad turns to him. The quick brush over his face hides the fact that he’s been crying, but the swollen eyes don’t. “Chad, are you alright? Is something the matter?” Chad knows Saul, but Kevin cannot imagine that Saul is the reason why Chad is here, quietly crying his eyes out.
“I’m fine.” Chad answers.
“You do realize that you’re one of the worst actors in Hollywood, right?” Kevin says, a little smile on his face, knowing he can afford to say this to Chad. Chad nods, knowing that Kevin isn’t attacking his acting-skills.
“I just needed some time to think.”
“Did it help?” Kevin wants to know.
“Want to talk about it?”
“No.” Chad says. He mostly agrees with Jason, that the last person who should know about Jason’s secret is Kevin. Mostly, but he doesn’t agree with it entirely. “I don’t know… Maybe you’re not the person I should talk to….” Thinking that Chad is referring to Saul’s struggle, Kevin shrugs.
“It would be nice to not have to worry about Saul for a few minutes…” He admits. Chad takes a deep breath, not sure what to do, but if ever a situation presented itself as the moment, this was it. He looks at Kevin, wondering if Kevin could handle it to hear even more bad news about Guy….
“Hypothetically then…” Chad starts. “Do you believe that you should always speak the truth?”
“But… Let’s assume… that I’ve found out something and a part of me thinks that I should tell a certain someone about it?”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Because he’d be terribly upset.”
“And if you don’t tell him and he would find out about it anyway?”
“He’d be terribly upset too.”
“What are the odds the he will find out the truth?”
“Right now? High. I’m so mad about what I found out that I just want to blurt it out, for the whole world to know, but I’d be hurting two people I love immensely, over something that cannot be undone and that isn’t the fault of either of them.
And all this, because I’m mad as hell at someone, who I cannot hurt because he’s dead and buried…” Kevin closes his eyes at Chad’s words, it reminds him too much of his own feelings towards discussing the supposed affair between Guy and Jason. “…. But if I keep my mouth shut..? There’s little chance.” Chad finishes.
“But it’s eating you up inside?”
“I’m mad as hell.”
“Then this is not a trivial thing, like not liking someone’s clothes or new boy-friend?”
“No.” Chad shakes his head to add importance to his word.
There’s a subtle change between them that Kevin can’t put his finger on, but Kevin gets a nauseating feeling in his stomach. He can feel a certain tension building between them. This is not a ‘normal’ conversation between two friends. Chad is fishing for something. He’s looking for approval from Kevin in particular. Fear takes grip in Kevin.
“I … I think… you should tell the truth…” He says eventually. “Regardless of the outcome.”
“Really?” Chad asks and Kevin wonders why he’s feeling as if he’s signing his own death-warrant.
“Yes.” Kevin’s voice is just mere whisper. Chad swallow hard. Kevin can hear Chad’s breathing change as if he’s working up to something. Subconsciously Kevin takes hold of the chair before him as if he’s bracing himself for what is to come.
“I don’t know any easy way … to say this.” Chad starts.
“Just say it.” Kevin answers, praying that whatever it is, it’s not as bad as he fears.
“…. I know about what Jason told you about him and Guy…. But he didn’t tell you the entire truth….” Chad feels as if he’s about to throw up, but he continues nonetheless.. “Guy didn’t take no for an answer. The night of the accident, he raped Jason.”
Kevin gasps. The words, the implications, the consequences… They all hit Kevin like a sledge-hammer. No wonder that Jason had been so fidgety to tell him about Guy and himself, why he had emphasized that ‘nothing’ had happened between them.
“He didn’t want you to know. It’s not your fault and it’s not his either…. But…”
“But all three of us… we’re stuck with consequences….” Kevin whispers. Chad nods. The silence between them is long and heavy, neither of them is able to offer a word of comfort. Chad doesn’t know what to say. He knows he just pulled the rug from under Kevin’s last good memories of Guy.
It somehow hasn’t diminished his anger towards Guy though, it only made it worse, because, as he had assessed before, Kevin hadn’t been to blame and now Kevin is hurting too. Now, he wishes he had kept his mouth shut, as he had promised Jason he would, but he can’t take back the words he said.
Only now can he think of what this might mean to Jason and Kevin. He can finally see passed his own anger and resentment and see Kevin. Another innocent victim.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you.” His own stupidity is sinking in. Kevin shakes his head and places his hand on Chad’s.
“No. You did the right thing. Can you imagine what it must have done to Jason? All these years of just listening to everybody talking like Guy was some superman and all this time carrying the secret of knowing that he’s a rapist….? It’s even worse than what I went through, trying to hide that Guy might have had an affair with Jason.” Kevin shivers.
“Don’t say that. He hurt Jason, but he lied and deceived you too. And as for Jason… He loves you. He would never hurt you. Neither of us would. Not on purpose.” The words are so simple, but they strike Kevin maybe twice as hard. For some stupid reason he had always believed everyone to be crazy of Guy. It just never occurred to him that Guy got tolerated because of him.
“How’s Jason?” Kevin finally manages to say.
“He sent me here to see how you and your family are doing. To show his concern for your uncle. You know we care about Saul, but Jason couldn’t face you yet, even though he’s getting help. He has a good psychiatrist… And we talk. A lot. More than ever.”
“That’s good. Talking is good.” Kevin’s voice is flat. Yes, talking is good. He had talked and talked with Scotty these last few weeks. “And you? Less angry now?” Kevin asks. Chad shakes his head.
“I feel even worse, because now you’re hurting too.”
“I’m glad you told me the truth. And, yes, I’m hurting, but not because of him, but because of what he did to Jason ….” Just when he had dealt with his own anger… . Thanks to Scotty. Kevin closes his eyes. Scotty. How he wished that Scotty was here right now. Then nothing would seem as bad as it seemed….
Jason gets off his chair and walks to the door. He sighs and he hopes it’s not Robert. He’s not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. He opens the door and nearly flings it closed again. He needs two seconds to get his composure back.
“Kevin!” Just the last person he wants to deal with tonight.
Kevin puts his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans, showing his insecurity.
“Jase. I know. Chad told me. About you. And Guy…. And… And the rape…” He swallows hard, because the word is so hard to say, but it needs to be said. Jason’s shoulders sink. Tears fill his eyes.
“I told him to stop. I really did.” It’s nothing more than a squeak. The next moment Jason is in Kevin’s arms.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”. Jason can hear Kevin say the words. Over and over again. As if any of this is his fault. Jason wraps his arms around Kevin.
“I’m sorry too.” He whispers in Kevin’s hair. He knows that neither of them can change a single thing about the past, but it’s good to know that Kevin has accepted the truth, doesn’t hold it against him and seems willing to forgive him for not telling the truth. They hold each other tightly, both crying, both dealing with their own pain.
END OF CHAPTER NINE