THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
About: Kevin & Scotty ( with Chad & Jason dropping by occassionally)
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing the characters, no harm will come to them. (I think...) Written with love not for money.
Rate: I'm going for NC-17 eventually. :)
Summery: Scotty could use a vacation.... So could Kevin...
Somewhere during the afternoon of the 5th day Kevin no longer could deny to himself that Scotty is an attractive young man. Kevin looks over the pages of his book. His sunglasses are put on his nose in such a way that Scotty can’t see that Kevin is watching him. Not that Scotty would notice. He’s too focused on a recipe book that he had found in the kitchen.
Kevin’s eyes watches the long, muscular legs. He tries not to focus on the content of the shorts, feeling that he would break his own rules if he did, but he sure wouldn’t mind letting his hands slide over that broad chest or those strong upper-arms. Scotty sits up a bit and he makes a note in his note-book, that he carries with him wherever he goes.
Kevin focuses his attention back on his book, but he can’t read a word. Why had he agreed to this? He had considered himself stronger than this, but Scotty is weakening his resolve. When was the last time he had been with a man anyway? Three years or something? His last time with Guy…
It had been the last time that he had run his fingers through Guy’s dark hair and he had whispered words of love. He had felt loved. Cocooned in sheer love…. that’s how he had called being Guy’s arms. And Guy had smiled at him…. Kevin closes his eyes, his tears cling to his eye-lashes but he won’t let them fall…. It’s all gone. Forever…
Scotty gets up and walks up to the small bar.
“Kevin? Do you want something to drink?”
“No… No, thanks.” Kevin shakes his head and he watches how Scotty returns to his part of the couch – he has his own part now? – and how he returns to reading the recipe-book.
Suddenly the desire to be touched by someone, anyone, becomes more than Kevin can bear.
“I have a bit of a head-ache… I’m going to lie down.” Kevin says. He can see that the question ‘are you alright?’ burns on Scotty’s lips, but they don’t leave his beautiful mouth.
“Fine. How late am I supposed to wake you up?” Scotty asks instead.
“I don’t want to sleep too long, or I won’t sleep tonight… Give me two hours? Just to rest my head and close my eyes?”
“Okay.” Scotty nods…
Scotty checks on Kevin, about twenty minutes after he left, and he finds Kevin in a deep sleep. For a moment Scotty wonders why Kevin would have covered himself with a sheet in this heat, but dismisses any thought that comes to his mind as ‘too unlikely’ given Kevin’s self-imposed chastity.
He closes the door carefully and he goes to his own cabin. It’s at times like these that the loneliness strikes him. He caresses his belly, feeling the hairs on his skin react to the soft touch. He tries to imagine that it’s either Chad or Jason touching him. He likes it when they take their time to make love to him.
But halfway the fantasy Jason and Chad begin to mysteriously dissolve into one Kevin. Scotty tries to ignore his desire to fantasize about Kevin touching him, until he simply has to accept that it’s pointless. So he closes his eyes and pretends it’s Kevin touching him, caressing him… kissing him…. He gasps Kevin’s name as he comes.
Scotty had fallen asleep on his bed and he only wakes up when Kevin knocks on his door insistently.
“Scotty? I’ve made dinner.” Kevin’s words surprise Scotty and he looks at the clock. Nearly seven at night! How could he have fallen asleep so easily?
Sure, the sea-air made him tired and sleepy, but actually falling asleep….? Kevin could have really hurt himself in the time that Scotty had been sleeping, Scotty realizes with a shock. He feels guilty until he realizes that he can’t watch Kevin 24/7. He should just happy that Kevin didn’t do anything foolish.
Slowly he rolls off his bed and he straightens his clothes a bit. There’s a little sea-breeze coming in through the small porthole, which is open, and Scotty has the impression that there’s rain in the air. When he finally manages to get up on deck he’s surprised to see that Kevin has actually set the little dinner table.
“I wanted to apologize for being such a pain in the ass.” Kevin says, surprising Scotty, because he hadn’t been aware that an apology had been needed.
“That’s.. very sweet of you..” He says reluctantly. “Did you cook this all by yourself?”
“No, the pizza-delivery-system here is amazing.” Kevin answers slightly sarcastic.
Scotty smiles, it had been a stupid question, with them miles away from any coast. Of course Kevin had prepared the food himself.
“You know what I mean… I mean, is it safe to eat it?” Scotty teases gently. Kevin relaxes and laughs.
“Well, it’s all at your own risk.”
“I’ll take it. It looks great.” Scotty gives the compliment easily and smoothly. They sit down and Kevin serves the food. Their conversation is casual and mostly meaningless. They have both noticed the storm that’s in the air, but it seems far away.
Kevin tells a story about a time when, as a child, he and his brother Tommy had gotten caught in a storm together with their dad. The story makes Scotty laugh until there are tears on his face and Kevin clearly enjoys that he can make Scotty laugh this hard and his eyes shine with a happiness that Scotty hasn’t seen before.
However, as the dinner nears the ending, Kevin becomes more withdrawn for no particular reason that Scotty put his finger on. He seems distracted and uneasy, squirming a bit on his chair as if he can’t find the right position to sit and Scotty wonders if Kevin’s leg is hurting again.
But then Kevin gets up to get the dessert and, from the way he walks, Scotty deducts that the problem doesn’t seem to Kevin’s legs. He waits patiently for Kevin to return but then grabs the bull by the horns.
“What is wrong? I can feel you withdraw from me?”
Well, at least, Kevin can bother to look a little guilty.
“Is it something I said? Or that I didn’t say? What did I do wrong? Is there something special about today, that I should be aware of? If I’ve made a mistake somewhere tonight, then please tell me.”
Kevin shakes his head and when he looks up at Scotty, Scotty can see that he looks absolutely miserable.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. There is a problem and I don’t know how to fix it and …. But, it’s not your fault. It’s mine alone.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Scotty asks and Kevin seems to shrivel up even more. He shakes his head. He opens his mouth to say something, changes his mind and seems to crawl even deeper into his shell. Scotty crosses his arms and waits. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Kevin. Finally Kevin sighs.
“It’s … complicated.” He starts. When Scotty doesn’t say anything, but only motions him to continue talking. “My grandfather was a liar, a cheater and an embezzler. My mom had to live with that shame all her young life and she was determined that she would do better.
So, I come from a family with high principles. Don’t cheat. Don’t lie, Be honest. Be brave. Be loyal.Treat others like you wish to be treated yourself. You’re responsible for your own actions and inactions. Don’t whine. Don’t complain. Work hard.Dress properly. Be polite … To mention but a few commandments in our house….
My mom and dad have the perfect marriage. Sure, ups and downs, but in general, good. They have been married for nearly 45 years and they still look at each other like they did when they were in high-school. You know, that particular puppy-love. My uncle Saul and his husband Jonathan have been together for a lifetime as well.
My sister Sarah is married since forever. I’ve been brought up with the concept that love with a capital L is something sacred, not handed out to just anybody.
My father was not just very strict with my sisters, but with my brothers as well. He’d always say that if you wanted to be a man in the bed, than you’d have to accept, the consequences of your actions in that bed, as a man as well. We didn’t have to be virgins or monks, but … he didn’t want us to act like irresponsible kids either.
So, when I met Guy, I had some experience with love, but not much. But I immediately felt he was the one for me…. I never doubted my feelings for him….” Kevin’s eyes fill with tears. “He meant everything to me. He was a father, brother, lover, teacher, pupil, enemy and friend, all encompassed in one entity. He was my rock, my…. everything….”
Kevin sighs out the word ‘everything’ and Scotty can’t help but feel a bit jealous, that he has never known that particular feeling, but he says nothing and waits for Kevin to go on.
“And now, now that he’s no longer with me, I don’t know how to … start it up… again… I… I … have lost this ability to … court someone…”
Scotty wonders where all of this is leading up to.
“Have you fallen in love with someone? And no one knows about it?” He ventures. "Is that why you're not interested in me?"
“No. No. I’m not in love with someone… At least…. No, I’m not.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I’ve been raised with the idea that to make love there should be something…. I … I can’t have sex just to have sex….” Kevin stammers. Scotty’s eyes become wide, as a thought enters his mind.
“That’s why you feel awkward around me? You have no feelings for me, so sex is out of the question as far as you’re concerned?” Scotty asks and it’s impossible for him to completely ignore the feeling of disappointment that he feels deep inside. But then Scotty actually takes a better look at Kevin and realizes that Kevin is mortified by something… different.
Scotty opens his mouth, realizes that he could make things even worse between them, but then decides to speak anyway.
“Or … you do… want… to.. have…sex.. with..me…?” He slowly begins to guess, “.. but it’s weird, because you weren’t brought up to think of sex without a feeling attached to it….?”
“I.. I can’t ignore the fact that you’re very attractive…” Kevin carefully says, almost like an apology. As if he's insulting Scotty somehow, but admitting to his attraction. Scotty suddenly feels his stomach flutter. This has never happened to him before.
“Is that what this dinner was about? You’re trying to… somehow… court me?” Scotty asks, inadvertently using the same the same word that Kevin had. Kevin nods meekly..
Scotty is flabbergasted. No one has ever done something like this for him before.
“That ... is... very sweet.” Scotty says, not sure ‘sweet’ is the word he should use.
“It was a failure.” Kevin replies sadly.
“No… I just… I didn’t know… I’ve never…. It’s not what I’m used to, but….” Scotty bites his lip, when he sees that he’s not helping things move more smoothly. They sit opposite each other, both feeling awkward and ill-at-ease all of a sudden. They now both know what Kevin wants, but neither can seem to make up their mind what to do next.
The silence gets broken when a flash of lightning lights up the sky and a thunder-clap almost immediately follows up on it. It’s still quite at some distance, but it wakes up Kevin up from his indecisiveness.
“Scotty, move everything down-stairs, quickly. I will tie everything up.” He orders.
Gone is the moment and Scotty quickly puts everything on the trays and soon enough the table is empty, folded up and cleared away. Scotty pauses for a second to watch the storm in the distance.
“Will it hit us?” He asks. Kevin shakes his head.
“I don’t think so.”
“It looks bad.”
“Yes, but it’s moving straight for land. We might see a bit of rough weather and higher waves. We have nothing to be really worried about.” Kevin explains. His eyes meet Scotty. Scotty nods that he got Kevin’s words.
“Everything is downstairs.”
“We have to check all the portholes, make sure they’re closed.”
“I’ll do it.” Scotty runs downstairs, while Kevin makes sure, with one last round that everything is secured tightly and nothing can get lost.
The sky is dark and heavy with rain and when the first drops start to fall, Kevin is actually surprised by how big the drops are and, especially, how cold the rain is. By the time he has activated the alarm, which will warn him for ships moving too close, he’s soaking wet.
He closes the door, so the warmth stays in the living-area below deck.
“You’re soaking wet.” Scotty says and he moves closer to Kevin.
“Yes. There’s a lot of rain, but not too much wind. I hope we can stay just at the outer rim of storm." For a moment they stare at each other, knowing their previous conversation had ended too abruptly and unresolved. Kevin is about to open his mouth and say something when the radio makes a crackling noise. S
cotty turns away again and though he hears Kevin talk, he’s more pre-occupied with the dishes than with Kevin’s call.
“We have to go to shore.” Kevin says, walking up to Scotty.
“Why? I thought you said it would be safe.”
“For now yes, but there’s another storm-front behind the one we saw and that one could turn dangerous. All small boats must return to shore while they can.”
“The coast-guard can’t guarantee that they can come to our rescue if we do get in trouble. I’m not going to jeopardize our lives. It’s going to be a rocky ride though. I’m starting up the boat.”
“What can I do in the meantime?” Scotty asks.
“Clean up everything, fasten up the doors and lockers. Prepare an overnight bag for yourself, but don’t bring too much with you. We will most likely only be staying at a hotel for one night.
So think along those lines. Toothbrush, comb, clean set of clothes .. those sort of things…. Oh, and Scotty? Can you prepare an overnight-bag for me as well? Perhaps we can put everything in one bag? " Scotty nods at Kevin's request " … Don’t forget my pills…” Kevin reminds him.
“Kevin? A hotel? I wasn’t counting on that….?” Scotty asks, not sure if he brought enough money with him.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of the expenses… and bill them to Chad and Jason.” Kevin winks and then he’s gone to bring the boat back to the harbor.
Scotty is more than grateful that he has a strong stomach and steady legs. The waves get higher and the weather turns even more stormy as they approach the harbor. He has barely seen Kevin, who manages to safely get the boat into the harbor. It’s busy on the landing-stages, but Kevin manages to find a safe spot.
“The harbor is about to get closed.” Kevin explains, as both Scotty and he watch how an hydraulic system slowly makes two opposing walls move closer to each other. “The walls will create a barrier against the hide tide.”
“Will it work?” Scotty can’t believe that it actually can.
“Yes, probably. This is not the first time they’ve used this. But I’ve never seen it at work before …. This is amazing!” Though Kevin is soaking wet, he suddenly seems to be so alive and sparkling that Scotty is surprised by the sudden change in him. But as much as it pleases him, he can’t stop the shiver from the cold that runs down his spine.
Kevin catches the little movement and turns away from the barrier.
“Let’s go find ourselves a hotel. And get warm again…” But when his hand touches Scotty’s arm, to direct him toward the centre of the town, the entire sky is illuminated with lightning…
Their eyes hold each other for a few seconds. The building storm creates an incredible energy that both Kevin and Scotty can feel.
“And a dry place to sleep….” Scotty adds, but they both know that it’s much than warmth and dryness that they seek.
“Do you have a room for the night?” Kevin asks. Both he and Scotty are drenched from walking through the rain. The first few hotels they had tried had been booked full, but this one still seems to have some rooms available for them. The woman behind the desk looks at the two dripping coats.
“Two single beds or king-size?” She asks. Kevin looks up at Scotty, not sure what he should answer. He doesn’t want to presume anything, but he knows what he wants. Scotty looks up Kevin. Their eyes meet again. Decisions get made in the space of a heartbeat.
“King-size.” They say simultaneously.
END OF PART 5