THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
About: Kevin & Scotty ( with Chad & Jason dropping by occassionally)
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing the characters, no harm will come to them. (I think...) Written with love not for money.
Rate: I'm going for NC-17 eventually. :)
Summery: Scotty could use a vacation.... So could Kevin.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Kevin says. His father, William Walker, shakes his head.
“No, son, I’m not. You can leave for 5 weeks, as you want, but you’ll take that young man with you.”
“Really? A hooker as a chaperone? ….” Kevin objects all insulted.
“I don’t care if you or anyone else doesn’t approve of the idea. The fact is: without that boy, you’re not leaving. But you want to leave. And you know that we can’t leave you alone. We can’t go with you either. You want to go? Fine. You take him with you.”
“A hooker?” Kevin repeats softly, shaking his head.
“A young man with a troubled past, but who’s trying to make something of his life. I spoke to Saul…” William lets the name penetrate Kevin’s thick skull. He knows that Kevin loves his uncle. “… and Saul is very positive about that young man.”
“Well, whoop-tee-doo.” Kevin answers sarcastically, but William can see him thaw a bit.
“The young man has apparently developed his … ahm...skills … of bringing pleasure, by learning not just about the sexual aspects, but also about the physical and psychological aspects.”
“Oh, great! Because the family-shrink hasn’t already tried to squeeze enough money out of us?” Kevin reacts. William ignores him.
“Apparently he’s a good cook, a good masseur, an intelligent young man and, according to Saul, no punishment to look at.”
“And if I say ‘no’?” Kevin asks defiantly, as if he can’t guess the answer.
“Then you stay right here. You mom has no objections to keeping you on suicide watch, you know that…. Now I may understand your desire to get out, but your mom is worried sick about you ….. and your mother outranks you in this family.” William lectures his son. Kevin shakes his head.
“This is one of Chad’s stupid ideas. He always believes sex to be the solution to everything… If only I’d get laid, all my issues would be over….” Kevin says bitterly. William sighs. He’s not too sure that he wants to discuss the topic of sex, especially not if it’s about sex between two men.
William loves Kevin and has no issues with Kevin’s homosexuality. He had received Guy with open arms, once he had seen that Guy was truly, madly, deeply in love with Kevin. He had presented Guy as his son-in-law with the same pride as he had presented the husband of his daughter Sarah. He had made no difference between them.
But he had always shied away from considering the actual physical relationship that Kevin would have with Guy… or any other man. The look he gives Kevin is therefore a bit lost and Kevin feels sorry for his dad. He knows that the topic of gay sex is not a favorite.
“I’m sorry. You know what I mean….” He says, hoping that his father does.
William only gives Kevin a blank stare in return, so now it’s inevitable.
“I know that everyone thinks that I’m not over Guy’s death, but I am. He’s dead. He’s buried. He’s never coming back. He’s gone. I get it. I just… I don’t know how to go on beyond this point.
Everyone tells me that I should move on. That I will find another love. That I’m still young and if I continue my therapy, I will be capable of doing everything that I could do before. But … The life I had is gone, because the one I used to have that life with is gone.
And no amount of sex with that ... Scotty? ... is going to give me back the feeling I had when having breakfast with Guy, or waking up his arms, or discussing my cases with him or just have dinner in our favorite restaurant. All that is gone. Forever. I will never see him again…. All of it is gone. I will never be able to tell him ….”
Kevin’s lips suddenly become a straight line and William can see Kevin fight his tears and he can guess that Kevin meant to finish with ‘… how much I love him’ or something along those lines.
“No. I agree. That young man won’t give you back what you lost when you lost Guy…” William has to agree with Kevin whether he likes it or not. “And perhaps that’s not his purpose either. Yes, he’s a male prostitute, but he has more qualities than that. No one is forcing you to do anything with him. And no one believes that he’s the solution to all your problems.
But we all believe that you tried to end you life … No, let me finish... Maybe not a conscious decision, but certainly a choice that you were working up to. We also understand that perhaps we are trying too hard to protect you, because we love you, but perhaps we smother you too much…
We understand your desire to break free from that, but … we can’t leave you alone. We’re all worried that, if you’d be alone, we’re going to find out someday that you….” William can’t finish his sentence.
“…. Killed myself?” Kevin does it instead.
The two men look at each other. So much pain and concern on both sides. Kevin sighs.
“Fine. I’ll take it. I’ll take that young man with me on the yacht…. But I’m not going to have sex with him.”
“Of course not.” William replies not very convinced.
Scotty enters his penthouse and throws his keys on the table. As usual the place feels cold and empty. Not that Scotty minds. The place is a very good reflection of his life. It’s not like he has someone to come to home to and he most likely never will. He can’t even remember what ‘home’ is supposed to feel like.
The kitchen is modern and clean…. And boring. It had been here when Scotty bought the place and he had never bothered to made any changes. Looking at his living-room, the place looks like it jumped out of a magazine and it feels just warm as the sheet of paper it jumped off of.
From where he stands he can see part of the bedroom and the bathroom. Great styles, nice colors, but not about him. Maybe Scotty feels disconnected because it had been more Chad’s idea than Scotty’s. He had asked Chad’s help, because he likes the house they live in.
But Chad and Jason had not been able to bring that feeling of ‘home’ to his place, like they had done to their home. Their house is their ‘home’ and it fits them well, but this place is Scotty’s house and their sense of ‘home’ didn’t belong with Scotty. The problem is that Scotty has no idea what would give him a feeling a being ‘home’.
Maybe ‘home’ is indeed that peculiar feeling he had had, when he had entered ‘Café 429’ several months ago. He had never been there before, but he had heard good reviews of the place. From the moment he had entered he had felt that he belonged there somehow. It had been the weirdest thing ever.
Saul Holden, the owner of the place had looked at him and he had smiled at Scotty…. As if he had known it as well… Scotty and Saul had been in careful negations ever since. Saul was not ready to give up the restaurant just yet. For himself. Scotty had set his 30th birthday, next January, as the date to stop working in his current line of business.
They were both working towards that date where Saul would stop with his work and retire and where Scotty would end this life in prostitution and where he would walk into a whole new life. It makes him feel scared and excited just thinking about it. He sighs and prepares his coffee. With a frown on his face he waits for the coffee to be ready.
He tries to ignore that annoyed feeling in him that started from the moment that Chad had mentioned ‘this restaurant’ that Scotty had set his sights on. It had stung that Chad and Jason had known about his plans. He loves both men very much, but their presumption that they always know what is good for him and others can sometimes be too much of a good thing.
It’s not exactly a secret that Scotty wants out of the business, but he wants to do it on his own terms and not under the supervision on Jason and Chad. The coffee-machine beeps that it’s ready, but Scotty leaves the instant-coffee where it is. It suddenly seems empty and cold to Scotty, just like the rest of his life.
Instead he boils some water and he makes tea. Chamomile tea, the best remedy against the blues. For Scotty anyway. He sits down at his dinner-table, suddenly all too aware that, aside from Chad and Jason, he never has guests over for dinner. He puts the glass tea-cup on the table.
He rubs his face once more, wondering if he’s not making a terrible deal, but then he opens up the file that Chad and Jason had prepared for him, with the help from the Walker family. While he carefully sips his hot tea, he reads the news-clippings on the accident.
A tire on a car in the opposite lane had burst, it had made the car swerve to the other side and it had hit Kevin’s and Guy’s car full frontal and with quite some speed. The driver of the other car and Guy had been killed instantly. As for Kevin…. Scotty is amazed that anyone had managed to get out of that mangled car alive.
He reads an excerpt, written by Kevin’s doctor. No real medical mumbo-jumbo, because after all, Scotty is not a doctor, but a clear statement of the damage that had been done to Kevin’s body, his therapy, the concern for Kevin emotional well-being slowly overruling the concern for his physical one.
It would seem that Kevin was physically quite capable to deal with the therapy, with the exercises that were quite rigorous, but somehow he lacked the will to live, the desire to fight or the courage to move on. Scotty shudders upon reading about Kevin’s bad eating-habits. He can see how the lack of healthy food would not help Kevin.
Scotty looks at the snapshots that are added to the file. Guy and Kevin at an anniversary. Handsome couple. Guy looked attractive, reminding Scotty of some actor in those old swashbuckling movies about pirates or knight-turned-outlaw. Very distinguished, but with love and care in his eyes for Kevin.
Kevin looked completely mesmerized by his partner. It makes Scotty smile a sad smile. To have that kind of love, to have someone look at you with that much love and affection…. A beautiful couple indeed. Love, tenderness, affection oozes from every picture and Scotty can begin to understand why Kevin would have such a tough time going on with his life.
He gets up to admire the view from his large window. Perhaps the only thing that makes this house a ‘home’. The view of the city underneath him with, in the far distance, the glistening sea. That sea had been the real reason why Scotty had wanted this penthouse. He hadn’t wanted a house by the sea.
It wouldn’t have been practical, as most of his business happened here in town and not out there near the ocean. And this house had been a good buy too. The penthouse is now worth three times its original price and Scotty plans to sell it when he moves into Café 429.
His mind goes back to Saul Holden and the restaurant. Above the restaurant is a small living-space. Not big, but it would suit Scotty’s needs. He had loved it from the moment he had entered the place. The standard kitchen that had everything needed, one bedroom and a small but practical bathroom with shower.
The flat roof over the restaurant’s kitchen had been turned into a terrace where you could sit. In all, it would provide Scotty with all the space he ever needed. His penthouse was already on the market for selling and he could move into the apartment over the restaurant whenever he wanted.
But he’s scared to actually take the step to move there before the apartment is sold. Things had never gone his way and always, when he expected life to take one turn, it had taken another. In his life he had been loved and hated, bullied and protected. He had used people, but also been used.
He had loved…. Ha! Never again… He had believed… Never again either… He had dreamed so many dreams…. Now there was only one…. He had slept with many men, and a few women… Now, he looks forward to the day that he will never have to let anyone touch him again…
He looks over his shoulder to the file on the table. Maybe Chad was right, maybe helping this Kevin would make Saul a bit softer. Perhaps he could quit even sooner? …
No, he shouldn’t dream. He shouldn’t hope. It never leads to anything. Stick to the original plans. After all…. Five weeks…. With Kevin Walker… On one yacht… What life-altering difference could those five weeks possibly make?
END OF PART 3