Can’t lose? 4/4By Marea67About:
Kevin/Scotty, with a dash of Chad and Jason.Rate:
: I may borrow the idea
of K/S, the story is mine. Written with love, not for money.Summary:
AU… so as usual:This is an AU (Alternate universe) and this story is definitely sci-fi-ish and characters may or may not react out of character or not be who they are in the original. If you can't handle that, don't read this story.
Scotty stares out the window of the small bus. He had stayed away from Pinius for a month. During the breaks, when nearly everyone from base-camp went into town to spend money and sleep around, Scotty stayed in the camp, but today he had known that he could no longer avoid facing the consequences of his decision to leave Chad.
Chad had approached him carefully, saying that if Scotty wanted to get his belongings, he wouldn’t be at the apartment this weekend…? Chad had really tried to get Scotty back. He had begged Scotty to listen to him. He had made him any promise that Scotty had wanted to hear, but Scotty had been deaf to any word he had said.
All Scotty could think about was Kevin. It was Kevin who was on his mind all the time. His mind kept going back to the hands on his body. All he could think of was the kisses that Kevin had given him. He couldn’t think of anything else but Kevin deep inside him and holding him down.
Scotty closes his eyes and twirls the keys of the apartment around his finger. Chad would really not come to the place this weekend. Scotty had taken care of that ….“I don’t get it, Scotty, I know you’re mad and hurt…. I’m sorry. I was a fool and I swear that….”
“Don’t swear, Chad. Don’t make promises you won’t be able to keep. Besides, I … I have to be honest … The problem isn’t you, it’s me…”
“Wow, is that the best you can come up with?” Chad tries to joke.
“It’s true, Chad. It’s not that you slept with this Jason. It’s that I slept with Kevin.”
“I don’t blame you for anything….” Chad starts. “It was all my fault in the first place. You did what you felt you had to do….”
“No.. No. I didn’t have to do it… Kevin gave me the chance to say no…. I didn’t take it…”
“What? Why the hell not? He gave you the opportunity to say no to having sex with him and you didn’t take it? Why?”
“Because I…. I wanted him…” Scotty confesses slowly, as if the words surprise him as well.
Chad and Scotty had merely stared at each other for a moment as the meaning of Scotty’s words sink in with both of them.
“I see…” Chad’s voice is rough. “I see everything a lot clearer now….”
“Yes… Me too, I think….” Scotty answers.
Again Scotty tries very hard to feel some feeling of loss or guilt towards Chad, but all that comes to his mind is a pair of large hands sliding down his body and a pair of beautiful blue eyes laughing at him. And when the bus finally stops in the centre of town, Scotty resolutely puts his keys away and instead of going to the apartment, he goes in another direction….
Scotty walks up to the bar and orders a drink. He wonders what on Earth possesses him to come back here. It’s stupid. As if Kevin would really bother to remember him. He’s just a one-night thing and of no importance to anyone, especially not Kevin himself. He picks up his drink, intending on downing it in one gulp, but then a shadow falls over him.
“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine?” Kevin teases.
“Wow! The best line you could come with, is one that’s more than 250 years old?” Scotty answers, slowly smiling at him.
“You took me by surprise. I had to improvise. I’m not good at that….” Kevin replies.
Scotty laughs and plays with his drink.
“Are you…. alone?” Kevin asks, trying to sound neutral, but it’s not working. “I haven’t seen Chad yet…”
“Chad and I are through.”
“Because we slept together?”
“No. Because of what he and I did.”
“I just realized that he was not the person I was looking for….”
“So, what are you looking for in a man?”
“The best… Someone told me not to settle for second best…. That was sound advice… Chad was not what I needed. I want a man who will respect me, and not sell me off over a stupid game.
A man who will love me and not cheat on me. A man who can shake my world just by looking at me…. A man who would treat me like a king and shower me with rose-petals and gifts and … love … “ Scotty smiles. “Someone who would make love to me every night, until I beg him to stop loving me…”
“Someone who would love you and honor you and forsake all others…?” Kevin can feel his stomach flutter. A feeling he has never had before.
“Of course the big question is: Where do I find such a guy?”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t look too hard, the harder you look, the least likely it will be that you'll find him. But, I hear, he can be found in the oddest places and .….”
Their eyes meet and again Scotty feels a comfortable feeling come over him. He relaxes and smiles when he notices that Kevin seems to become a little nervous instead.
“I was wondering… Ahmm… Oh, God, I’m not good at this… last time I didn’t have the chance to show you a bit more of the place. Would you be interested…?”
“Does the grand tour include your personal quarters…? I’m assuming that the room where you send me to, wasn’t really your bedroom?”
“No, it wasn’t and, yes, if you want to see where I live, eat and sleep…” Kevin speaks slowly, trying to figure out if Scotty wants the same as him.
“I’m most interested in what you own bedroom looks like…” Scotty says it with a teasing undertone, but his meaning is clear.
“I can take care of that…” Kevin nods. Scotty is amused by how much Kevin looks like a 16 year old about to go on his first date. He motions Kevin to show the way.
Scotty slips out the bed. The early morning sun had woke him up, but Kevin is still asleep, his back to the light which enters the room. For a moment Scotty looks at Kevin’s sleeping body and he takes a deep breath. Last night had been amazing. The grand tour had to wait.
Kevin had first taken Scotty to his personal quarters. The elevator had taken them up to the 5 floor and to the large pent-house that was Kevin’s private domain. Not that Scotty had seen much of it. Barely had the elevator doors closed behind them or they had been in each other’s arms.
They had been unable to let go of each other, while Kevin guided Scotty to the bedroom, leaving a trail of discarded clothes along the way. In the bedroom, Scotty hadn’t seen much either. However, Kevin had made him feel
more than he could ever have imagined. He had never known that sex could be so deliciously wicked.
He had enjoyed the feeling of Kevin’s hands on his body, the fingertips that had pinched his nipples, the teeth that had grazed his skin and made him hiss with delight. The strong cock buried deep inside had sent shivers down his spine and he had come, with such ease, all over that hand that had given such pleasure.
They had fallen asleep, in each other’s arms, legs entangled, bodies so close. The intimacy of their kisses had given Scotty a new respect for kissing and just before he had fallen asleep, Scotty had realized that he had never felt more loved, cherished and respected in all his life.
Scotty exits the bedroom, planning to do some exploring on his own, but quickly finds out that there’s not that much to see. The apartment is very open-planned and it looks very practical. The small kitchen is practical in the fact that it has everything it needs and everything is locked away in cupboards. There’s nothing messy to be found.
Scotty opens all the doors and eventually he finds all the things he needs to make coffee. As he waits for the coffee, he can’t help but check out the kitchen further. The work-island in the middle makes him envious. He would like something like that as well. He’s surprised by the fact that the kitchen is well-stocked.
In the dish-washer he finally finds evidence that the kitchen is actually being used. A small frying pan, a dish, some cutlery and a coffee-cup…. He’s surprised by his own prejudice that a man as rich as Kevin wouldn’t cook for himself. Hadn’t Kevin told him that he had done his own cooking when he was still with Ben?
He pours some coffee in a mug and looks around a bit more. The living-room area is created by a large, comfortable black couch and a glass table. No pillows or other frivolities. Practical. A large painting of a wooded area is all that graces the wall. There are no personal pictures or anything.
There are doors leading to a terrace that gives Scotty a spectacular view of the city. Scotty admires the view for a few minutes, but then he goes back in, intrigued by the large desk that is obviously Kevin’s working-place and the only place that seems alive.
Everything is neatly organized, that’s for sure, but above the desk is large board of cork-like material.
On the board are a million and one little memos, pictures, quotes and reminders. They are stuck the board with pins and they are everywhere.
It would seem that this is a place where Kevin likes to spend his time and Scotty can see why. He looks at the pictures. All sorts of people, mostly girls, some of them with kids… He takes one of the pictures down.
On the back is written “My son and I are doing great. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. Doris.” Scotty puts the pictures back. He reads the backs of a few other pictures. There’s a lot of gratitude expressed towards Kevin. Suddenly he sees a familiar face. Scotty's smile fades as he takes down the picture from the board. He turns it around.
“Forever yours. Jason.” The words dance in front of Scotty’s eyes. Jason… The same Jason who he had caught with Chad. Younger, yes, but definitely him. “Forever
yours.” Could that really be a coincidence? “Forever yours
.” … Or … “Forever yours
”…. Not? Scotty turns to the bedroom, wondering if he should confront Kevin or not.
He decides to put his mug on the kitchen-counter first and he tries to get his thoughts organized, but he knows that he has
to know the truth and so he goes to the bedroom to wake up Kevin.
“Mhmmm, Scotty.” Kevin smiles lovingly when he sees the face of the man who can so easily bring up all these unknown feelings in him.
But Scotty doesn’t smile back. In fact, he looks angry and Kevin sits up.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“Tell me the truth. Chad and Jason. Was that your doing?” Kevin blinks, wondering where that comes from.
“I don’t understand…” He starts.
“The night we slept together the first time? I came home and found Chad in bed with another guy. Jason. Did you arrange that?” Scotty asks straight out. Kevin hesitates. He has no idea why Scotty would think that, but something must have triggered it, so…
“Yes.” Kevin’s answer is so honest that Scotty has to sit down on the bed. He’s baffled.
“I don’t know… I just called Jason, asking him a favor… I didn’t ask Jason to seduce
Chad. I didn’t really try to set him up…. Or cause a break up between the two of you… I just didn’t trust him. And he was the one who tried to get Jason in his bed… Jason held off for a while, but then went along with it. …”
“Did you know? When you send me home? Did you know that I would find Jason and Chad in bed together?”
“I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t reach Jason…. It wasn’t until after you left and Jason got dressed that he contacted me…… What gave you the idea that I knew Jason?”
“Saw this picture.” Scotty holds up the picture.
“Give it back.” Kevin orders and he holds out his hand and Scotty places the picture back on Kevin’s hand.
With a sudden move, Kevin grabs Scotty by the back of his neck and pulls him closer.
. Saw. This. Picture. Do you get that?” There’s undoubtedly a menace in Kevin’s voice and Scotty feels a certain fear come up.
“What?” He whispers.
“You. Never. Saw. This. Picture. It doesn’t exist. And if you so much as breathe a word about it….” He doesn’t have to finish his sentence, Scotty gets the message. For a moment, he doesn’t understand the sudden change in Kevin. The threat is unmistakably there, but he doesn’t understand why. He breaks free from Kevin’s grip and pulls his head back.
“Was Jason your lover?”
“No. We don’t know each other.” Kevin answers.
each other? You just told me….”
“We’ve never met. Jason and I don’t know each other. Our paths never crossed, even though I make sometimes donations to his church. You have
…. Jason is a well-respected minister
in the largest church in this town and he’s held in high regard
. Someone like him would not associate himself with someone like me
Kevin answers with much emphasize. Scotty blinks. The pictures on the board. The thank-you notes….
“Those pictures…. They are your boys and girls. They used to work for you.” He suddenly understands it.
“Scotty-dearest, all those people are upstanding
people in society. Happily married women, men in high places. Certainly you’re not suggesting….”
“You make their pasts go away.. Money and gold will buy you anything and anybody.” Scotty suddenly remembers.
“Exactly. It does.” Kevin admits.
“And like a God in an ivory tower you decide who’s good enough and who isn’t? Chad isn’t good enough for me? But you are?” Scotty laughs sarcastically and he turns around and walks away. Kevin tumbles out of bed and quickly puts on his boxer-shorts before going after Scotty.
“No! I’m no God. I’m not even playing one. Chad was a lousy cheater. He
was the one who wanted to go to bed with Jason, not the other way around. No one put a gun to his head to fuck Jason. He did that on his own.”
“Oh, that makes everything right, right?
“No. It doesn’t. But he disrespected you when he offered you to me, he disrespected when let you go without much of a fight and he disrespected you when he took Jason to the bed that he was supposed to share with you!
You deserved someone better than him!”
“Someone like you?” Scotty asks sarcastically.
“No! Not me… I didn’t do this for me. I did this for you…. You deserve better….”
“And again…. In your mind that would be you?”
“No….” Kevin answers with so much pain in his voice. And only now can Scotty see that there are tears in his eyes. “I never believed I would see you again… I thought that I would be about the last person that you’d ever want to be with again. I knew you’d never come to me.. but I also wanted you to never go back to him…
I was really and honestly surprised when I saw you enter the place last night. I couldn’t believe my eyes. And you looked even better than before and …. For a moment I dared to dream that maybe…. maybe it was me… that you came back for…me…
“I did…” Scotty answers.
“I swear to you…. I …. I’ve lived here for nearly 20 years and I’ve never let anyone up here. I receive everyone downstairs. This is my sanctuary, my safe haven and I’ve never let anyone in it before….
Those pictures are reminders that I haven’t been a total waste of life. I could make a difference to people’s lives and I have. Those boys and girls … they have found love or a job or a family or all other sorts of things… All the things I could only dream of. They deserved a second chance. And one of those persons was Jason. Leave him be.”
“I don’t care about Jason. I don’t want to disrupt his life. And … in a way you’re right. Sooner or later Chad would have most likely cheated on me again…. He had done it before… But you
didn’t have to help him along.”
“No. Maybe not.” Kevin concedes.
“And you have no right to decide over my
life like that.”
“I know..” Kevin sighs.
“But you didn’t lie to me either…. This is very important to me too… I don’t like it to get lied at. I just prefer to know the painful truth.”
“I would never lie to you on purpose… But I have secrets to keep. Secrets that aren’t mine to tell.”
“And if it’s about those on the board, I will respect your silence… And I will keep my own silence about the board.”
“Yes, I will, but … you don’t own me. Don’t run my life for me. If I screw up, let it be my mistakes...”
“And you’re not leaving me?” Kevin’s voice is very soft.
“No, Kevin, I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you these last few weeks….” Scotty finally manages to say.
“You were on my mind all the time… It drove me crazy…” Kevin confesses, looking just as desperate as Scotty.
“I really like you….” Scotty says shyly.
“I like you too.” And Kevin’s insecurity shines through in the words that he just said.
In the weeks that followed Kevin and Scotty tried to get to know each other. At first it was difficult, because they didn’t want to be separated from each other, even though Scotty’s work called for him to go back to the miners camp. Two weekends later he came back and Kevin made a proposition.
One of his properties was an old restaurant called Café 429. Would Scotty be interested to take a look at it? One walk-through had been enough. Scotty had fallen in love with the little old place and he quit his job at the camp. Officially he bought the restaurant from Kevin, even though the amount was more symbolic than cold hard cash.
A month later, Café 429 opened its doors and quickly became a huge success. Kevin didn’t get involved with the running of the restaurant, but made himself available for any question Scotty could ask. With both Kevin and Scotty running night-businesses, they managed to see each other a lot at night, when they got home and during the day.
Kevin was clearly in love, what made him gentler and softer towards other people and Scotty was quickly loved by the people in town. Scotty kept his promise of silence and when he finally met Jason in public, they shook hands and Scotty expressed how happy he was to get the opportunity to meet Jason, as if he had never caught him naked in bed with his ex.
It took both men time to adjust. For Scotty it was the money and limitless possibilities. For Kevin it was Scotty’s love and tenderness and the way he could playfully get Kevin to come out of his shell. The only thing that didn’t need adjusting was their love-life. They made love wherever and whenever they could and both men were more than satisfied with their partner.
Kevin is so incredibly nervous that it’s nearly funny to watch.
“I think you’re more nervous than I am.” Scotty smiles.
“They are your parents… Your family…. What if they won’t like me? Or my work? What if they hate me? Or forbid you from being with me?”
me? Sweetheart, I’m nearly 30 years old, which is why the whole family is taking this long journey to see me. I hardly doubt that my dad or mom have anything to say over me… I mean, what can
they do? Cut my allowance? Send me to my room?”
“I have no family…. But if you were to lose yours… over me…. I’d hate myself…”
“Don’t worry. Let us tackle this if
this happens…. Oh, the shuttle has landed. They’re nearly here…….” Scotty waits with an almost childlike impatience and Kevin’s fear grows. Scotty loves his family. What if his family won’t like him? What if they will make him chose between Kevin and his family? What if…?
Scotty jumps up and down and waves like an idiot…
“Scotty…!” An older woman practically runs up to him and almost dives into her son’s arms, crying with joy to hold him again. Kevin watches on as more family members, all coming over for Scotty’s 30th birthday, gather around him….
His heart sinks. What a beautiful family… Kevin starts to tremble, suddenly painfully aware that he has no one and nobody except Scotty. Scotty is
his whole family. Scotty turns to Kevin and laughs. He takes his mother’s hand and guides her to Kevin. Kevin is frozen with fear.
“Mom, this is Kevin, the man of my dreams…..” Scotty introduces Kevin to his mother. There’s so much love and tenderness in his eyes…. “Kevin, this is my mother, Nora. My father William…. This annoying little pest here is my youngest brother, Justin. My older brother Tommy and my even older, nearly ancient
sisters, Kitty and Sarah.”
Kevin knew the names. Their pictures are in the apartment that used to be his, and that he now shares with Scotty. He had learned the names, remembered the faces, but seeing the Wandell-family all together was overwhelming. He shakes hands with Scotty’s brothers and sisters and tells them nervously how happy he is to meet them.
Scotty’s parents however make no immediate gesture towards him. They watch on as Kevin greets their children. They watch how Scotty laughs and counters the teasing from his siblings. They take note how Kevin’s panic slowly subsides and how he relaxes when Scotty puts his arm around Kevin, as if trying to protect him and give him courage.
Finally, neither Nora nor William can wait any longer. Nora walks up to Kevin, who immediately tenses up again. The family falls silent. Nora studies Kevin’s face for a few seconds and then asks:
“Do you love him? Do you love Scotty?”
“Yes….” Kevin replies without breaking eye-contact with her. He doesn’t even blink.
“Well, in that case…. Welcome to the family…” She wraps her arms around him and Kevin looks at Scotty in full panic. Scotty has tears in his eyes and he signals Kevin to reply to her hug.
Hesitantly, Kevin lets his arms go around the woman who holds him close. He cannot remember the last time his own mother had hugged him and now this woman radiates a love that he can feel to the core of his body. It warms the heart and it overwhelms him.
“I thought you’d hate me…” He whispers, still scared that he misunderstands her.
“How could I? You love my son and he loves you…. That is all that I need to know..” She lets go of him and now Kevin has to face William. The man takes him in a firm hug.
“Welcome to the family, son.” William speaks softly, but Kevin heard him nonetheless. He turns to Scotty.
Scotty can see Kevin is distraught and he pulls Kevin close. Over Kevin’s shoulder he explains gently:
“Kevin was afraid that he wouldn’t be accepted. His past, his work, his reputation….”
“Scotty…” Kevin is suddenly worried that he will now have to explain his life to Scotty’s family.
“Oh, honey, we know. Scotty told us all about you.” Nora rubs Kevin’s back in a gesture of comfort. “Your past, what has happened to you, what you do for a living and how you try to help the boys and girls that work for you. But above all, he has told us how much he loves you and how happy he is with you. And that he feels loved and protected by you…”
Kevin slowly turns to her, teardrops clinging to his eye-lashes. He looks into a pair of brown eyes that look at him with tenderness, care and love… He swallows hard.
“You have a family now…. And to be honest, this family is tired and hungry. And I could use a glass of wine…” She laughs and she takes Scotty’s arm to let him show the way.
A few hours later, long past midnight, Kevin and Scotty enter their apartment.
“Your family is amazing… I can’t remember the last time I’ve laughed this much. I really love them….”
“And they love you. You even won over my father.”
Scotty wraps his arms around Kevin and kisses him.
“Mhmmm, I want more of those.” Kevin hums.
“Go to the bedroom then. I will join you in a bit.” Kevin nods at Scotty’s words and, once in the bedroom, he starts to undress himself.
A smile plays around his mouth. The Wandell-family was indeed a great family. Kevin had been accepted and he feels complete for the first time in his life. He puts his clothes over his chair and opens the top-drawer to get the lube… He plays with the tube and throws it on the bed.
Scotty enters the room and begins to undress, but has to stop when Kevin walks up to him and brushes his hands away so he can undress Scotty himself. They stand close to each other, but neither of them takes a first step. The only point where their bodies touch, is where Kevin’s finger-tips undo the buttons of Scotty’s shirt.
Kevin looks up at Scotty and smiles.
“I love to do this…”
“I know. That’s why I’m letting you do this….” Scotty replies, he raises his hand and he lets one of Kevin’s curls curl around his finger.
“I know, I should cut my hair.” Kevin says, before Scotty can comment.
“I like your curls.”
“My mom used to say that they are hideous.”
“Shhh, they’re not.” Scotty whispers in Kevin’s hair.
Kevin raises his head and his lips part. Their kiss is long.
“That kiss was so long that I almost forgot that I came here to get some sleep,… amongst other things.” Scotty teases. He takes the lube, which is still on the bed and gives it to Kevin. “Wanna start up the ‘other things’?”
Scotty sits down on the bed, with the intention to lie down when Kevin stops him and gives him back the lube.
“Why don’t you prepare me?” Scotty blinks at Kevin’s words. He remembers that Kevin had vowed to himself that he would never let himself be taken again.
And so far, Scotty hadn’t mind about this. Kevin is a tender and attentive lover, sometimes perhaps even too overbearing and Scotty loves him to death. He can see where Kevin’s feelings come from and he hasn’t pushed the issue.
“You don’t have to. It’s okay with me…”
“Thank you, but it’s not okay with me…. Ben and Gary weren’t my first. I had sex before them. And I do remember how exciting it was to explore all that I could do. And then those 2 men turned sex into something that made me feel humiliated, imprisoned and worthless.
But I can no longer go on and give them that power. I want … everything
… to be possible between us. With no fear. And no holding back… No limitations and unconditionally.”
“As long you feel that this is your
choice and you don’t believe that it’s something I
want, and that you do it just to please me….” Scotty however immediately sets as his condition. Kevin begins to laugh.
“Okay, maybe not so unconditional then… And I do want this.”
“Then who am I to object?” Scotty laughs as well. In the minutes that followed Kevin tries to relax, control his fears and he hopes he won’t feel too nauseous with worry. He wants to enjoy this.
Scotty is careful, but playful as well. He can feel the tension in Kevin’s body and tries to make him relax, but he realizes that it may be too much to ask. He takes a deep breath, once he’s ready, and he tries to be gentle when he makes his first attempt to penetrate Kevin’s body.
He can feel Kevin tense up, almost extremely so, and Scotty waits for Kevin to relax. He’s only going to hurt Kevin if he pushes on. He caresses Kevin’s back, whispers soothing words and he can feel Kevin give in a little. Scotty takes advantage of the moment and soon enough he’s inside Kevin, giving him time to adjust.
Scotty fights his urge to start to thrusting. Instead he kisses Kevin’s shoulder and with gentle force he manages to make Kevin turn his face to him to kiss him.
“I love you…” He moans in Kevin’s ear. His warm breath makes Kevin shiver. “I love you so much…” And with those words he carefully pulls back a little and goes back in.
Kevin moans loudly.
“Do you want me to stop?” Scotty ask.
“No.” Kevin whispers. Scotty thrusts again, making Kevin moan again.
“Are you sure?” Scotty’s voice is slightly more teasing.
“Yesssss…” Kevin hisses and he carefully pushes back to feel Scotty even deeper. His soft cry makes Scotty kiss him again. The thrusts slowly get a steady rhythm and Kevin begins to respond, picking up on the pace, urging Scotty to move faster. Scotty kisses Kevin where he can. He whispers sweet nothings.
Underneath him Kevin begins to erase the bad memories and he lets Scotty in, he lets him take over. He hears a loud ‘Don’t stop!’ and he’s surprised by how bossy he sounds to himself. He had been silenced by Gary and Ben and he had felt subjugated to their desires and, at the same time he had felt unwanted by the lack of interest for his own needs.
But now he has found his voice again and Scotty listened to him and, as aroused as Scotty is, he also tries to satisfy Kevin. Kevin’s mind goes blank. All that matters to him now are Scotty and himself, on this bed, in this room and in the here and now. With a loud cry he finally comes and at this point, all he needs to know, that Scotty is right there with him.
“Are you okay?” Scotty mumbles, hardly able to keep his eyes open for much longer.
“I’m fine, baby.” Kevin answers, equally exhausted. Scotty kisses Kevin’s neck and after a deep sigh, he tries to fall asleep. His arm quickly becomes heavy on Kevin’s side, but Kevin doesn’t care too much.
He dreams of putting a ring on Scotty’s finger… It’s the least he can do after Scotty has brought him happiness, love, laughter and a beautiful family, that had accepted him as one of their own. Who knew that a stupid game could bring that much luck… He also swears he’ll never gamble again. He will never want to lose what he has now.