About: The Walkers and a few others.
Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: The effect that Kevin has had… in the life of others. Robert McCallister has learned a thing or two as well.
Written for the Love-Bingo prompt: feelings
CHAPTER SEVEN: ROBERT : FEELINGS
4.20 If you back it he will come
"... Right... but ....Halfway pregnant?" Kevin suggests.
"So, we can be happy?" Scotty isn't entirely sure if he can.
"Halfway happy?" But it sounds silly to even Kevin.
"All the way happy?" Scotty says. Kevin echoes the words and then they are in each other's arms.
The night is cold, so Robert pulls up the collar of his coat. He’s probably the only one, aside from Scotty, who had seen Kevin sneak out the back-door. From the looks between Kevin and Scotty, Robert gathers that Scotty had understood that Kevin had needed a few minutes to himself…
“Hey. Mind if I join you?” He asks, when he sees Kevin sitting on the small bench in Nora’s garden.
“No. It’s fine.” Kevin answers, a bit surprised that Robert is next to him.
“How are you feeling?” Robert now wants to know and Kevin gives him a puzzled look.
“Are you really interested or just making conversation?” He asks with a suspicious look on his face.
“I always thought that asking and talking about feelings is mandatory in this family.” Robert points out.
“True.” Kevin admits with a nod.
“And you always grill me to find out what my ‘feelings’ are…” Robert sees a smile on Kevin’s lips. It’s true that Kevin is the one who makes Robert explore what he really expects or hopes to happen.
“I’m happy.” Kevin concedes. “Michelle is possibly pregnant. It’s exciting… At the same time.. I’m terrified. Once the child is here, there’s no turning back. It will bring so many changes…”
“That’s a good attitude. It’s good to be happy and terrified at the same time.”
“I wasn’t aware that my feelings needed your vote of approval.” Kevin’s smile takes the sharpness out of the words. It is awkward to discuss this with Robert, of all people.
“They don’t… I just wanted to give you my compliments on being level-headed enough to realize what is coming your way…”
“Thanks.” Kevin replies. He waits for some cynical remark from Robert, but there’s only silence. Kevin plays with his hands for a few seconds and then asks: “Were you?.. Scared, I mean.” He explains his question. Robert takes a few seconds to answer. He shakes his head.
“No. I was foolishly not seeing any problem whatsoever. Courtney and I were pregnant before we knew it, Courtney’s first pregnancy went rather smoothly and so I assumed that the rest would be a breeze as well. And it was. Because Courtney took care of everything. The relationship was clearly defined. I was the father, gone all day… bringing home the bacon.. or whatever….”
“Unless you shot a quail or a duck?” Kevin teases gently.
“Or me and my tribe had managed to spear a mammoth to death….” Robert goes along.
“So, it was you and your ilk that killed the mammoth.” Kevin deducts sourly and they both laugh.
“Well, truth be told, I never worried about anything. For me, it all felt like the natural way of the universe….
“Yes, slightly different from the situation for Scotty and me.”
“And perhaps that’s a blessing. I never considered much the enormous consequences it would all have on Courtney. I just … did what I had to do…. You and Scotty had to make a very conscious decision that both of you did some serious thinking on. Scotty had his doubts and then you had them… it’s a good thing that you could get through those… I never did that. I …”
Robert stops halfway. Kevin waits. “I never really thought it through if I even wanted a child or not. I love all my three kids, wouldn’t want to lose one, but sometimes I wonder… I wonder if things would have been different if Courtney and I had thought it over, if we had waited a bit, if Courtney would have pursued her own dreams first, before becoming a mother, rather than feeling like she had missed out on something afterwards.”
“But then… maybe you wouldn’t have gotten involved with Kitty? Or you wouldn't have had Evan?”
“Who knows.” Robert admits. “Anyway, I think you and Scotty will be great parents and that any child should be lucky to have you two as his or her fathers.” Robert says in all sincerity. Kevin is clearly stunned by Robert’s words and Robert smiles: “You had not expected me to say that, did you?” Kevin shakes his head.
“Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, then it is to speak up my mind when it comes to my feelings. You’re the one who always asks me ‘but what do you want?’ and you make sure that I answer that question with what is my heart and not my head. That I make the difference between what I should do and what I want to do, which aren’t always the same thing.”
Kevin stares at the tips of his shoes. It’s true that he frequently reminds Robert of the difference between those two.
“And my feeling is that you should go back into Nora’s kitchen and tell Scotty how happy you really are. With the baby. And with him.”
Kevin nods and Robert follows Kevin back in. Just before entering the dining-room, Robert looks over his shoulder and he sees how Kevin wraps his arms around his husband to kiss him and Robert looks away with a smile on his face, wondering if he’s not turning too much into a Walker with that ‘feeling’-thing.
THE END (Or so Robert feels) ;)