ON THE LIFE OF OTHERS 04/20
About: The Walkers and a few others.
Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: The effect that Kevin has had… in the life of others. They never really seemed to have interacted, and yet.... .Set after Holly finds out that Sarah had tried to cheat her out of the money for the land-deal.
Written for the Love-Bingo prompt: mourning
CHAPTER FOUR : HOLLY : MOURNING
1.03 - Affairs of state
Saul: “We can’t help who we love…”
Holly: “But we can help who we are. We can decide to become ourselves. What I saw tonight, seeing myself in Nora’s eyes is not…” She almost chokes on her feelings, but she manages to hold back her tears. “It is time that I become a person. I won’t be invisible any longer.”
“Just sign here… and here…” Kevin Walker explains patiently. “After you’ve read it all, naturally…” He adds as an afterthought. “Once they’re all signed, give them to Tommy or Sarah, they know how to get them back to me. Unless you have questions or remarks or requests for alterations, then call me.”
He taps on his business-card, which is attached to the contract. Holly looks at him.
“This is a lot to take in.” She says.
“I’d understand if you’d prefer to have them checked by another lawyer…” Kevin shrugs. He’s realistic enough to see why she shouldn’t take his word for anything not after Sarah’s attempt to rob Holly of her money.
“I’m sure it will be fine.” She replies tiredly. Kevin watches how she rubs her eyes.
“Why?” He asks her suddenly. “Why are you going through with this, knowing that both Tommy and Sarah are going to do everything they can to make your life miserable?” The question surprises her clearly.
“I don’t know.” She answers honestly. “I’m .. I’m trying to miss William, I suppose.”
“You’re trying?” Kevin asks.
“You wouldn’t understand.” Holly sighs. To her surprise Kevin sits down and he seems to display some interest.
“Indulge me. If I ask nicely will explain it to me?” He almost seems to taunt her. She’s determined not to let him get to her.
“You must hate me as much as your brothers and sisters do, so what do you care?” She returns the question. Kevin smiles, appreciating the way she reacts.
“I don’t hate you. I hate the pain you’ve inflicted on my mother, but that isn’t your fault alone. Dad was there too. You both had a choice. You made it, but so did he. You didn’t have anyone else. He had a wife and 5 kids. That makes his decision to cheat worse than yours… Not that Sarah, Kitty or Tommy would bother to take dad of his pedestal for that…”
Holly notices the bitterness in Kevin’s voice and she sighs. Why not get it over with? Why not simply speak the truth?
“I’ve been on the sidelines for a long time. Whenever I was with him, I felt like a part of him, but at the same time I knew I wasn’t. A part of him wasn’t mine either. I… I guess I somehow can’t mourn his death because I miss too many pieces of him….”
She expects a snide remark, but Kevin seems to be lost in his thoughts.
“I guess, I know that feeling… that somehow I never really got to know him as well as the others did.” Kevin eventually says, a bit surprised by his own conclusion. Their eyes meet and it surprises Holly.
Kevin seems to reluctantly look at her. Not just a quick glance, as is she’s not worth looking at, but he actually seems to acknowledge her existence. He sees her and she remembers how she had told Saul that she didn’t want to be invisible anymore. And for the first time she feels like she succeeded in being seen.
“I have leave.” Kevin says as the gets up, breaking the moment between them. Holly gets up as well. They shake hands rather formally and Kevin continues. “… I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I hope you find it. So you can close the book where my father is concerned.” Holly looks at him and she nods, realizing that she’s made herself noticed.