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welcome to my fantasies
Fanfic: B&S episode 712: part 4/4 
15th-Apr-2013 12:45 am
Season 7 – Episode 712 – I remember yesterday

By Marea67
About: B
rothers & Sisters general
Rate: Can’t go higher than PG-13 as this American Television.
Disclaimer: Just escaping from reality here, not created for financial gain.
Summary: It’s my own season 7. Go with it! If you believe you can do better, write it yourself! I dare you

***** 4/4 *****

The fire in the fire-basket provides them with some heat now that night falls, but Holly realizes that Nora isn’t picking up on that. From the moment they came home until now, Nora had been her usual busy person. But now, she’s all quiet and she looks exhausted, with deep lines in her face.

“Thank you for staying with me tonight.” Nora says tiredly.
“I’m sure that I’ll be fine in Kevin’s room and I’m glad that I can something for you.” Holly replies. “I’ve felt completely useless all day. So much pain. Tommy had regained so much of the people he had last prior to running off… I can’t get over it.”

“Are you and Sarah going to cope?”
“Ryan is stepping up right now. He’s actually a good negotiator. Sarah sat in during one of those negotiations and she said it was like listening to William… Maybe it is in his blood…”

“Well, if it’s there, we’ll find a way to use it..” Nora sighs.
“Nora? Are you really okay? Not just the death Tommy, I get that… but… I’ve gotten to know you and you seem…. Tired…. In general.” Holly seems genuinely concerned and Nora bends a little closer to her, making their private conversation even more personal.

“I don’t know, Holly. It’s weird, but it’s almost as if Tommy’s death hit me harder than William’s… Isn’t that weird? I was in shock and horrified when William died. So many concerns, so many fears. But Tommy’s death… it knocked the wind out of me. I can’t find my rhythm. Not like with William.

After William died, I moved on on automatic pilot, went about my daily routines, I had to …. I wouldn’t have survived without the certainty and stability that doing the dishes, mopping the floor and picking the weed would give me. But now…. All I want to do is just sit down and do nothing at all. Just stare at the wall.

I should have vacuumed the top-floor yesterday… Couldn’t do it. The vacuum-cleaner stood there for nearly two hours and then I cleaned it up knowing I wouldn’t get it done..”
“Maybe, now that today is over….?” Holly starts.

Nora snaps out of her reverie.
“Yes. I hope so too… I’ve had the weirdest thought yesterday… when I wanted to vacuum…”
“What?” Holly asks.

“I want a smaller house. I just stood there on the landing and it hit me. I have a huge house and I’m all alone… How ridiculous is that? … Kitty, Sarah, Kevin and Justin all live close to each other, I’ve become the odd one out. The family is gathering more and more often at Café 429, rather than in my kitchen.

I made this house my home, but it wasn’t my choice…. William bought it for me, without me having a choice in it… And lately, I had noticed a certain detachment from it…”
“But with Tommy’s death….”
“It’s not just that….”

Nora pours some more wine for herself and fills up Holly’s glass as well. She puts the bottle on the grass and sits back in her chair.
“It is true these last few days, since I heard of Tommy’s death, I’ve seen him everywhere, but you see, that’s just it….

This house is full of memories and as much as I love them, I also feel like they are holding me back from moving on. I’m 67 years old. I still have many years ahead of me..., I hope…. And my question is, do I want to spend them here? In a house that’s too big and that has too many memories as it is.”

“I think you’re just down because of Tommy’s death, it’s going to unleash a lot of negative thoughts. And then it mixes up with the fact that you’re alone, that Brody doesn’t want to live here, that William is dead and you still have so many questions about him.

I’m sure that you’ll feel differently in a few weeks, when things are back to normal, well, as normal as they can be without Tommy. And summer will start and you can be outside more and …”
“I know, I’ve been thinking the same, but…. I don’t know …. It feels different this time.”

“That is what you said last time that you wanted to move and you didn’t do it then and I don’t think you will do it now.”
“Probably not….” Nora grins suddenly. “But it’s a very appealing thought. Just something smaller, not that many rooms, not so much clutter….”

“And then you’ll miss your garden and your kitchen and the space you have. You’ll bump into things in the middle of the night, because things are not where you’re remember to be. And I remember that Justin told Rebecca that you fell apart after your previous huge lawn-sale adventure. You had an empty study and an empty garage and eyes filled with tears….”

“Mhmmm, beautifully said.” Nora raises her glass in cheer. “Maybe…. Maybe I should just stop drinking and go to bed…”
“Mind if I sit here a little longer? I know how to lock up…”
“I don’t want to be rude, but… I’m exhausted.”

“And a little drunk.” Holly adds.
“That too, yes.” Nora laughs to not cry. “I’ll see you in the morning…”
“Goodnight. If there’s anything you’ll need tonight…. Let me know…”
“I will.”

Holly sees Nora enter the house and she takes another sip of her wine. She brushes her hair back with her fingers. Tommy…. She had forgiven him his betrayal, but sometimes, like today, when she’s reminded of what he had done, she still feels the pain of that moment when she had discovered his plans and how she had to deal with it….

“Back to work already?” She asks leaning against the doorpost.
“Just ahm… tying up some loose ends before I go home.”
“How’s Robert?”
“Looks like he’s going to be fine.”

“Ah, that’s good news. And the baby?”
“A boy… Evan.”
“Wow, it’s quite a day for your family.”

“Yes… Yeah, I was just checking in, so….” He wants her to leave, but she walks up to him instead.
“Tommy, could I ask you a question?”
“Yes, shoot.” Tommy says. She sits down.

“Things are going well. For us, I mean. For Ojai Foods and for Walker Landing, which is quite a feat in this economic climate, don’t you think?”
“We’ve been very lucky, yeah..” Tommy doesn’t understand where she’s going.
“And smart. We have made some really smart decisions.”

“You don’t need to worry, if that’s what you’re getting at.
“But I DO need to worry. Because that’s just not enough, isn’t it? I guess it was just a matter of time, for me, until you figured out a way to do it… I know, Tommy, I know that you embezzled two million dollar from this company to buy Crawford Orchards.

I know that Omni Inc is a front that you created, so that you could sell the land back to Ojai, knowing that we would pay in shares and that you would get control over the company. And then what were you going to do? Just toss me to the curb and put the money back in?”

“Holly, listen to me…” Tommy tries.
“I have all the information that I need…” She replies coldly.
“Holly, I swear I wasn’t gonna go through with this.” He replies.

“Oh, and you expect me to believe that?”

“Holly…” Tommy nearly begs.
“Don’t. Desperation is so unappealing.” And she had strode out of his office …

She should have felt victorious that she had managed to pull the rug from underneath him, but she can’t be happy, the betrayal is just too much…

Holly shakes her head to chase the memories away. She throws the bucket of water over the fire and gets up. She enters the house and locks up behind her... She walks through the kitchen, lets her fingers slide over the counter, before putting the glasses in the sink and filling them with water.

She turns off the lights and checks if the doors in the study, which lead to the garden, are locked as well. She slowly goes up the stairs, stopping at some of the pictures she had seen so often. The life of the Walkers in a few snapshots.
“She’ll never leave this house….” Holly smiles to herself and she goes to Kevin’s old room.




“I wonder what this is about.” Sarah places her wine on the table.
“You’ll hear soon enough.” Saul answers.
“Do you know?” Kitty asks.
“I have an idea.” Saul admits.

“Care to lift the tip of the veil?” Nora tries, she wiggles the glass of wine, that she was about to give him, in front of him as a bribe.
“Let’s wait until Justin and Scotty are here.” Saul smiles, taking the glass from her hands.

“They’re here.” Kitty says and indeed, a few seconds later Justin enters, with Scotty following him more cautiously. Justin sits down on the couch and grabs his glass of water and now 5 pair of eyes stare at Scotty, making him feel even more uncomfortable, wondering if he should go on.

“Honey, what’s wrong? You called a family-meeting..” Nora starts gently. Scotty nods, fidgets around with his car-keys, and Nora wonders if it's something that he had subconsciously picked up from his husband, because it reminds her of Kevin and when he has to do something he doesn’t like or gets nervous about.

“I don’t know if this was a good idea.” Scotty backs away a bit, suddenly overcome with a certain ‘stage-fright’.
“You called us.” Sarah says calmly. “And you did it because you had reached a point that you needed to do so.”

“Sarah’s right.” Kitty agrees. “And, knowing you, it must be because there is something going on that you can’t control, which must be something really big, because you’re very resourceful….”
“If you need our help, our input, we’re here.” Saul adds.

“So, spill, what’s up with Kevin?...” Justin asks. And when the others glare at him for being so direct, he defends himself. “What? You don’t think that he came for something else? If it was about one of the kids, he would have dealt with it, with Kevin, not us. The fact that he called us, it’s because it’s about Kevin….”

The reasoning is so logic that it puts a tiny smile on Scotty’s face. He sits down.
“Justin is right.. I’m very worried about him…. And I can’t talk to him about it….”
“Hon, if you can’t talk to him, how can we?” Nora wonders out loud.
“Why don’t you tell u what is going on?” Saul says, though he has an idea.

“Since Tommy’s death, Kevin is the first to rise in the morning and the last one to go to bed. He works very hard. He makes sure the kids are fine and that I can go to work without trouble at home. I know he’s busy at work, because Browne and he have some major cases to work on. And …. He’s just the perfect husband….”

In silence the Walkers look at each other, realizing that this is just the tip of the ice-berg no doubt.
“Yesterday I heard him get mad at Olivia because she had asked me something. He told her not to ‘burden’ me and if she needed help that she should ask him…

I wasn’t 'burdened' by anything. I’ve been made to feel practically obsolete. He pulls almost all the work to himself, like I’m not good enough or something. He’s just busy from early in the morning until late at night….”
“So, basically, he has the same pattern as a few years ago, after the accident.” Nora deduces.

“Are you afraid that you and Kevin are growing apart again?” Saul asks. Scotty shrugs, but then shakes his head.
“It’s not the same as way back then… The last time he ignored me as a partner… Especially in bedroom….”

A blush comes to Scotty’s face and there’s a bit uncomfortable shuffling from the Walkers.
“Please, don’t give me this ‘too much info’ thing..” Scotty suddenly begs. “It was difficult enough for me to ask for help….

And, no, Kevin is the most attentive lover I could ask for….. So, it’s not like it was last time. Back then he was emotionally detached, now he seems to be the complete opposite… Like ‘too much’ feelings. And I see him do it….. I see him get up early. And I know he’s tired when finally come home….

And yet, he wants to … please me…” Scotty can feel his blush get even stronger, but knowing that this family doesn’t really have boundaries, he pushes on. “Even when I try to tell him that I’m not in the mood or that I just want him to get his sleep, he just…. He won’t take ‘no’ for an answer….”

Eyes widen and Scotty realizes that it sounds very bad and stammers:
“It’s not like he forces himself on me… He just keeps… He’s drowning me in so much love and tenderness and care that I’m growing to feel uncomfortable that he’s around me. It’s like…. like….” Scotty searches for a word.

“…. He’s overcompensating…” Justin mumbles, in deep thought, then, when he sees everyone staring at him all over again, he roll his eyes. “What?! I’m just listening to what Scotty says and I’m trying to figure out what makes him so uncomfortable. Kevin is acting like the perfect dad, the perfect husband and the perfect lawyer.

He’s almost overly protective towards Scotty… Am I wrong, Scotty, if I say that it feels like too much of a good thing?…. Well, I suppose… Not that I’d know anything about it… Or something…. Never mind.” He backpedals on his own words, feeling like maybe he’s saying something stupid.

“I think, Justin, that you hit the nail on the head.” Sarah comes to Justin’s rescue.
“He’s so driven. He doesn’t sleep enough. It’s like he’s on some perpetual adrenaline-rush or on some drugs…?” Inadvertently Scotty looks at Justin.

“There a few things he could be using, but … if he’s as high as you claim he is, eventually he’ll come crashing down. You can’t live on that rush for months…” Justin nods.

“And when he’ll crash, he’ll crash….” Kitty understands.
“That’s what I’m worried about… He says that he’s fine and that there’s nothing wrong with him and that he feels good, but I’m afraid…

I'm afraid that one of these day I'll get a message or a call that he has had a heart-attack or something. I need your help.” Scotty nearly begs. “I can’t reach him. He just brushes away all my concerns, but I’m know I’m right… I feel it.

“If he won’t listen to Scotty….” Kitty bites her lower lips. “We’ll have to come up with something big to get through to him….”
“I think that we need to put our heads together and come up with a good plan.”
“I agree, Saul. I’ve buried one son this year, I’m not going to bury another...” Nora replies with a grim look on her face.




The finale 713 "Last dance" will be posted 21 April 2013
15th-Apr-2013 09:15 am (UTC)
you wouldn't, would you? I am not even able to write it out, out of fear I would give you ideas...

I like this episode a lot. the grief was palpable, also the scene between Julia and Billy in a previous chapter was very well written. I particularly liked how you included the scenes from the show and how everyone has other memories of Tommy...

thanks for writing
15th-Apr-2013 11:22 am (UTC)
What? Kill Kevin? Why not? He's gotten killed off in fanfic before, so it wouldn't be anything new....

It's the grand finale. Gotta go out with a BENG!!!! no? The gloves have been taken off and my nails have been sharpened, ready to do damage and leave an impression.

Glad you like this chapter, but now I'm curious to find out what you will think of the finale...
16th-Apr-2013 07:29 am (UTC)
maybe it's not a bad idea to kill Kevin off (I gave the idea some thought...) I'm curious to read the grand final :)
16th-Apr-2013 11:59 am (UTC)
I have given it some thought.... :)
15th-Apr-2013 07:53 pm (UTC)
Honestly Syl, I don't know how you do it; I really would have struggled to write this one! I never really got why Kevin felt he ALWAYS had to be the fixer...the one to hold everyone else up...to keep them going. Totally selfless...I think that's why it narked me when Scotty had to go and cheat - you just wouldn't do it...he should have understood better what Kevin was going through. Anyway, that was all in the 'real' world, so, no matter.
Did you spend ALL last week re-watching B&S to get all those quotes out right?! I enjoyed reading those and reminiscing. If only I had the time to start with them all over again.
So, Nora's going to buy Tommy's place? And let Jordan stay? Maybe Kevin and Scotty should buy the Walker family home from Nora; it has PLENTY of room for five kids...
Another great chapter...looking forward to the next. Thanks for writing.

addendum - Kevin on uppers? Noooo! He'd be disbarred and lose everything if he got caught...and I don;t think he'd take THAT risk...plus he's seen what it did to Justin...and the rest of the family. No-uh. Not drugs. Please tell me he's just scared of losing anyone else and that's what's driving him...pushing him...keeping him going. Please?!!!

**had to edit...clearly I was still half asleep when I read this this morning as I only read half of it and my initial comments make practically no sense whatsoever**

Edited at 2013-04-15 08:05 pm (UTC)
16th-Apr-2013 12:10 pm (UTC)
I don't mind I love ramblings. :D You'll find out more about what is going on with Kevin next week. I'm not giving more away than that. :P

I didn't have to watch THAT much, because I used a lot of my own favorite moments. I loved the argument between Kevin/Tommy in Glass houses (Matthew looks delicious by the light of the fire) and the way that Kitty supported Tommy when Elizabeth needed her operation, and (I'm not supposed to ADMIT to this) I just LOVE that scene between Tommy/Holly, where she completely pulls the rug from underneath him... (One of the few times I cheered for Holly)

And naturally the scene between Nora/Tommy. The story behind it, that Sally really slapped Balthazar, which explains the true shock on the faces of Dave and Emily behind him, makes it priceless for me. I don't know if it's true, but it gives that moment just that extra 'ka-beng' feeling for me. :)
15th-Apr-2013 11:39 pm (UTC)
Ok. I see where you're going with this. Kevin is going to need a personal nurse to take care of him. I'll have just enough time to give my notice at work. He's going to fall in love with said nurse (me), become straight, and we are going to live happily ever after. Right? I didn't see it coming, but, I am ready. Wait, that's not the plan?????

Maybe that's why I leave the writing to you. You do a much better job than I could. Can't wait for the grand finale.
16th-Apr-2013 12:12 pm (UTC)
Ahm... well... how do I say this gently? ... NO! that's not the plan! Deal with it! :D

The story might be entertaining, but not in the context of season 7. :)
16th-Apr-2013 12:17 am (UTC)
Kevin will try to overcompensate.In the 6th season Scotty was not ready for Elizabeth to be taken in to their family.Now Billy too,who will need much more time and caring.Kevin must be scared about "our life is always about your family and problems"accusation.They just need to talk.

I agree about Claire's view of "the fixer Kevin".But nobody appreciated him.It was taken for granted.I still feel strongly about nobody supporting Kevin during the cheating scenario.I didn't want him to forgive them all easily.I think that is my nature talking.Maybe I am the unforgiving type...hmmm?
Sylviane,I am hoping you will redeem the walkers for me.Let us see if they deliver this time.
As usual thank you for your effort and time in writing this for our enjoyment.Feeling a bit sad that the next part is the finale.Looking forward to it.
16th-Apr-2013 12:18 pm (UTC)
The fact that no one ever seemed to appreciate what he did has bugged me since the start. And don't get me started on the whole way that acted about Kevin/Scotty/cheating nonsens. They could have given Scotty the Joe-Whedon-treatment, if only for a few days. :) However, I know that I'm the unforgiving type. ;)

Redeem the Walkers? I'm a miracle-worker now? :D
I don't know. I wonder if they could.... (goes away to ponder on that...)

26th-Apr-2013 01:51 am (UTC) - Andy
When is this last episode come? It is the series finale?
26th-Apr-2013 05:35 am (UTC) - Re: Andy
Finale will be next Sunday, due to troubles in my Real life I was unable to get it finished as I wanted it. It will be worth the wait though... I hope. ;)
11th-Apr-2015 12:25 am (UTC)
So many feels!! So sad to see Tommy die but loved the trip down memory lane as they all remembered him.

So Nora and Jordan could totally live in/buy the house that Tommy was buying.

Kevin being the Kevin I love is why I fell in love with him in the first place. He always steps up and takes care of everyone. I hope they are able to get him to come to terms with things.
11th-Apr-2015 03:55 pm (UTC)
It's fun to read some of these parts again with you. I miss those Walkers SO MUCH! And I miss Kevin in particular. Sigh.

Can't wait to find out what you think of the finale. :)
18th-Apr-2015 04:07 am (UTC)
The least I can do is read it. You went to so much work and did a fantastic job with the entire thing.

And I blame you for my getting my DVDs out and watching some Brothers and Sisters marathon. Not that I am complaining :) .
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