When Kevin arrives at his house, he is so tired. He feels he could sleep for a whole week. “Scotty?” But the silence reigns in his apartment. A thermos flask of coffee is on the table. Next to it he finds a small note amidst a plate of sandwiches. He reads:
“Hope things went well. Thought you might be hungry. Scotty.” The friendly words touch a chord in Kevin. His own boyfriend can’t even bother to call, yet Scotty, who is just a friend, leaves a small message that shows that he’s been thinking of Kevin… and Justin… It breaks Kevin’s heart. It should be the other way around. He should have heard from Jason and be ignored by Scotty.
His eyes are burning with exhaustion. He is SO tired, the silence in the apartment becomes even more crushing. He sits down on his couch. He pulls up his legs, wraps his arms around them. Lets his chin rest on his knees. He admitted his pain to Tommy and soon everyone would know. The loneliness is becoming too much to handle... Slowly the tears start to come. Filling his eyes. Stinging them. As the sound of his sobs chases the silence away, he makes himself as small as possible so no one can see him, sitting there. All alone.
“Kevin? Kevin, wake up.” Scotty’s voice is sweet and gentle. Kevin opens his eyes. They hurt. He cried himself to sleep. Scotty is back from wherever he had been.
“Come, I’m going to put you in bed.” Scotty says calmly. Kevin shakes his head, he has things to do. But Scotty is adamant about this. “To bed! Right now! Did you eat or drink something?” With shame Kevin shakes his head. Scotty made him something and he didn’t even have the courtesy to at least try it. Kevin’s muscles ache from the tension of sleeping in such an uncomfortable position.
“That’s alright. It will keep, I’ll just put the sandwiches in the fridge. And now…” Scotty guides Kevin to the bedroom. He unbuttons Kevin’s shirt. Occasionally Scotty’s fingers come in touch with Kevin’s skin and he feels his body react. He tears himself away from Scotty’s able hands and quickly slides under the sheets, feeling even more ashamed in front of this younger man who seems, right now, more mature than he ever could be.
If Scotty is offended, he doesn’t show it. He caresses Kevin’s face as he gently says:
“Go to sleep, sweetie. It has been a very long night. You are very tired and you need to get some rest. Sleep. I will be here until 4 o’clock. If Jason calls, I will wake you straight away. I promise. I will wake you when I leave. Alright?” Kevin nods. As Scotty moves to leave, he takes Scotty’s hand. All of Kevin’s defenses are down.
“Scotty, please stay. Don’t.. don’t talk. Just be here. Don’t leave me alone. I… I just can’t…”
“Sshh, I’ll stay.. but you close your eyes and go to sleep.” Scotty warns. Kevin closes his eyes as Scotty caresses his hair soothingly. Within a few seconds he’s asleep.
He sleeps until Scotty wakes him up at a quarter to four. Jason hasn’t called. There is no email on the computer. No text on his mobile phone…