Rate: Like I said, NC-17 is inevitable.
Disclaimer: I don’t own B&S. Written with love not for money.
Summary: AU. A friend of William Walker asks Kevin a favor. Kevin isn’t interested… Not at first anyway.
As this is an Alternate Universe, this means that the characters CAN be different than in the canon-version. If you can't handle that the characters will act in an uncharacteristic way, don't read this story. Nobody's putting a gun to your head, saying that you MUST read it. That is your free choice. It is my free choice to write the characters the way I want them to be in this story. ~ Love and peace. :)
Scotty slams the door of his apartment behind him and lets himself drop against it, then he slowly slides down along the door until he sits on the floor. He presses his hand-palms to his eyes, trying to forbid his tears from falling, but they come anyway, like an unstoppable wave.
In his car, Kevin leans over the steering wheel. His eyes are wet as well. This night had been worse than he had expected. It had brought back too much pain, too many bad memories. At the same time, Scotty’s kiss still burns on his lips and he must confess that he got aroused by the kiss. It is all so wrong….
Scotty wraps his arms around himself. So stupid. He can now remember that William had showed up at their house years ago. There had been a whispered conversation at the front-door, something to do with Kevin and Scotty had been curious, and he had eaves-dropped, but he hadn’t been able to really understand what had been discussed between the two men.
All Kevin could remember was drying off his body after he had been swimming, when suddenly there were a few guys around him.
“We know what you did, you pervert! The kid is only 14 years old!” The next moment he got slammed up against the lockers and after the first few punches and kicks, the world just faded to black…
And then William’s words:
“Perhaps it would be better if you wouldn’t take Scotty to our house any time soon…. Right now, Kevin hates Scotty. Literally hates him.”
“Of course. I can understand that. Scotty will not be allowed to see Kevin again.…” Wally had answered and it had broken Scotty’s heart.
Nothing had seemed to work his way after that beat up in locker-room. Rumors had spread quicker than he could dispel them. The wounds on his body had healed, but the scars on his soul hadn’t gotten the same chance. He had lost his boyfriend and it had been made clear to him, that the doubt that people had, had been a reason for him being looked over for promotion.
If it had been hard to see Kevin before that conversation at the door, it became impossible afterwards. .His letters to Kevin got returned unopened and everyone simply refused to tell him what had happened to Kevin. And then … Kevin had disappeared. To Washington. About as far away from Scotty as he could get… And Scotty had been devastated.
Kevin had met Robert McCallister in a bar, where both had tried to drink away their misery. Robert had been bitterly disappointed in the Republican senator that he had worked for and Kevin had been bitterly disappointed with life in general.
“I need make a change in my life or I will end it.” Robert had sighed and Kevin had only been able to nod.
Scotty can’t say that he hadn’t tried. He had tried to forget Kevin. He really had. Over the years he had grown ashamed of his own actions and he had easily forgotten about the love-letters and the silly gifts. Just a puppy-love for a guy. A guy he would never meet again. Life had gone on.
Washington had been a welcome change of scenery. No gossip, no rumors, no false accusations for a while and at Robert’s side Kevin quickly blossomed back into the person he had been before all the ‘puppy-love’-drama started. Only once was the subject brought up again, when Robert ran for Senator, but Robert completely crushed any opposition.
The acne had left slowly but surely. Glasses had been replaced by contact-lenses. Scotty had discovered the gym. And other men working out at the gym, which was just as interesting to him and he had set his first steps into the world of sex with another man. But somehow Scotty had never been able to find the guy he was really looking for.
“I’m sorry to see Kevin leave us…” Robert had declared. “… but he wants to return California to be with the man he loves and I can’t stop him. Kevin, I’ll be forever grateful that you believed in me when others didn’t … and there aren’t many people I call ‘a friend’, but you… I'd walk through fire for you.” Kevin had accepted the heartfelt hug, glad that he had been able to give back to Robert what Robert had given him. True friendship.
“Hi. I’m Jason McCallister….” Jason had to have been one of the most attractive men that Scotty had ever seen.
“Scotty Wandell. Nice to meet you…” Scotty had smiled. Four hours later they had been in Scotty’s bed. That had been two months ago.
“Kevin, I really like Hank… You should ask him to marry you.” Nora had gently insisted. Kevin had swallowed a lump away in his throat, unable to confess to his mother that the man, for whom he had left his work with Robert McCallister in Washington, had left him for another man. He had been too embarrassed. That had been two months ago.
Scotty slowly lifts his head and wipes away his tears. He had ruined everything with Kevin, but at least now he remembers who it is that he had been looking for all these years. Kevin had been a memory, faded over the years, until he had walked back into Scotty’s office, all attractive and hot and sexy as Scotty had remembered him to be.
Kevin had mostly wanted to get rid of the ghost of Scotty Wandell. He hadn’t been really able to remember the kid, only the terrible impact that he had had on Kevin’s life. Kevin doesn’t know what he had expected to find in Scotty’s office, but certainly not the amazingly beautiful man that he had seen behind the desk.
What Scotty hadn’t expected was how easily Kevin could put him on fire all over again. He had believed Kevin to be out of his system, but one look at those beautiful blue eyes and Scotty had drowned deeper than ever before. In spite of the things that Kevin had told him tonight and Scotty now understanding why Kevin hated him, he still longs for Kevin…
He’s not a child anymore. No longer a 14-year old, which means ‘hands off’. He’s 24-years old, drop-dead beautiful, curious, funny, quick of mind and sexy as hell…. And… Kevin knows that he shouldn’t feel that feel that way about Scotty, but when Scotty had kissed him, he had never wanted the kiss to stop… So he lashed out the only way he could….
Tired and upset, Scotty gets up and takes of his coat. The warmth of the day still lingers in his locked up house and so he takes off his shirt as well, which is all sweaty from the nervousness of having a date with Kevin, the aftermath, the incident in the car and the long cry. The shirt falls to the ground. He’ll pick it up tomorrow. He’s too tired now.
Kevin feels terrible. He keeps seeing the look in Scotty’s eyes, as he left. It had been on mean on Kevin’s part. After all, he isn’t in a relationship. Not for the last two months anyway. And Kevin may be angry and confused, he’s not a cruel guy. He closes his eyes and gets out of his car. What did Scotty say? Number 43?
The doorbell rings and Scotty sighs. Probably one of his friends, coming for a drink. He pulls open the door, ready to send the person, whoever it is, away.
“Kevin?” He asks. He can’t believe his eyes or really understand who’s standing before him. Kevin, on the other hand, is rather distracted by Scotty’s half-naked body.
“Can I come in?” Kevin’s voice is soft and, not expecting another fight, Scotty opens the door a bit further to let Kevin in. “I wanted to apologize.” Kevin starts, his eyes moving away from Scotty’s large chest.
“When I said that I was in a relationship. I’m not. We broke up two months ago, but I’m still trying to figure out what went wrong there… That is, however, no reason to be rude to you or to make you feel guilty about something that doesn’t exist.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Scotty tries to remain as neutral as possible.
“And… something else… Get rid of Jason McCallister. He’s trouble.”
“I know.” Scotty shrugs and upon seeing Kevin’s surprised face, he asks. “Do you think I’m stupid? That I would believe the first guy that came along and trust him on his blue eyes?”
“Good sex. Other than that…. I don’t trust him any further than I can see him.”
“So, you already knew what was in the file?”
“There were a few things missing that were in mine, and you had two new cases…”
Scotty is very casual about his relationship with Jason and Kevin shakes his head.
“So, it was all pointless?”
“At least now I know what I did wrong and why you hate me. Not that pointless.”
“I don’t hate you.” Kevin says softly.
“You don’t? You’re giving of mixed signals here, because I definitely had the impression that you do hate me.…”
“I don’t know what to do with you.” Kevin blurts out and Scotty falls silent. He’s unable to think of a some quick quip.
“What would you like to with me…?” Scotty eventually and hesitantly asks. Kevin’s eyes narrow. That is indeed the million dollar question.
“I can’t seem to make up my mind between beating you senseless and fucking you senseless.” Kevin answers, probably giving Scotty more information than is necessary.
“Oh.” Scotty can’t think of anything more intelligent to say. After a quick and indecisive silence Scotty wonders: “Can I favor an option?”
“No. You cannot.” Kevin answers.
“Too bad. My choice would be door number two…” Scotty can’t help but flirt with danger.
He knows that his words can bring Kevin to execute option one, but it’s stronger than himself. He needs to antagonize Kevin, just to get him to react. But Kevin only shakes his head and lets himself lean against the wall.
“Why me? What did I do? What was it about me that makes you like this?”
“I really don’t know. Dad brought me to the barbecue slash pool-party at your father’s house. It wasn’t like I didn’t know you or your family… but that day… You said ‘hello’ to me and I felt like I got struck by lightning. And then, later on, you were all in the pool and I saw you. You were with that guy, who was a swim-fanatic like you..?”
“Aaron. He was my boyfriend, my lover…” Kevin remembers with pain in his heart, because he had been the one, that Kevin had lost over the backlash of Scotty’s puppy-love.
“Aaron. Yes. He got out of the water and you followed him. You had that blue speedo on and …. You two looked around and, thinking no one could see you, you kissed each other… And you got aroused… and I saw you cover it up with the towel, but… I had already seen how… big… it all got and … I felt like something inside of me just exploded… I had never… I never thought or looked at a guy … or a girl … before, but ….
That day, you changed everything. I just …. Woke up? I believe I never really thought much of sex before, but after that, I couldn’t stop thinking about it... Or about you… Or the combination of you and sex… It was like all I had to do was close my eyes and see you….” Scotty stammers his way through his story.
“Why didn’t you stop when you saw I wasn’t interested?”
“I couldn’t. You were like a drug, I guess. Just thinking of you made me dizzy. I know it was insane… When my dad told me that you never wanted to see me again and I eventually even found out that you left for Washington to be away from me….”
Scotty stops because he can’t tell Kevin how he feels any more. It has no purpose.
“But that is unimportant.” Scotty interrupts himself tiredly. “I got the message in the end. I was about as bad as a stalker and you hated my guts. I got it. Once I got older I could see how embarrassing my behavior had been. And I tried to forget it. And I tried to forget you.”
“And you succeeded pretty well.” Kevin states.
“I guess. Until you walked into my office and… awoke all sorts of feelings again. But… Listen, don’t worry. That’s my homework. I’m not going to stalk you again. Just…. Get out of here and leave me alone. I will deal with my own feelings on my own terms.”
Scotty feels suddenly exhausted to a point where he could just pass out. It’s been too much of a rollercoaster ride. He knows that he can’t help it that he still has all these feelings for Kevin, but that is not Kevin’s fault. Scotty knows that he is the one who has to make the changes.
“Please, … just leave.” Scotty begs, suddenly appearing vulnerable and breakable. Kevin nods and pushes himself off the wall at the same time that Scotty moves towards the door. They both reach for the doorknob at the same time, their bodies are close to each other. Kevin’s fingers slide over Scotty’s and Scotty feels as if he’s unable to move his hand away.
Kevin’s arm brushes against Scotty’s naked chest. Scotty’s eyes meets Kevin’s.
“Please,…” Scotty whispers, but he has no idea why. He doesn’t want Kevin to leave, he cannot ask Kevin to stay. He wants forgiveness, but doubts that he’ll get it. At the same time he’s tired of apologizing for the feelings he had as a child, but he has to recognize that he’s not a child anymore and that those feelings are still there. Maybe even stronger now.
Kevin lets go of the door-knob, his fingers sliding up over Scotty’s hand to his wrist. Scotty holds his breath. Kevin bites his lower-lip. Wrong, so wrong… But Scotty is not a child anymore. His hand moves up to Scotty’s elbow.
“Kevin…” Scotty moans softly.
“Yes?” Kevin almost seems to tease him and Scotty’s breathing becomes more superficial.
“If you don’t … really hate me.. perhaps… in time… we could become friends… get to know each other….” He hates how desperate he sounds.
“Yeah, that would be … a nice idea…” Kevin sighs, he’s standing even closer to Scotty than before and his hand rests on Scotty’s shoulder. Scotty shivers and Kevin can see how Scotty’s skin reacts to his soft touch. “Take it slow…” Kevin whispers, his mind screaming to stop touching Scotty, his body however inches even closer.
“Slow…” Scotty repeats as if it’s an alien word. Kevin’s lips brush against his. Scotty closes his eyes. He’s tired. It isn’t really happening. Can’t happen. If he opens his eyes again, he’ll see it’s just his imagination running amok, as usual, when it comes to Kevin Walker.
But when he opens his eyes, Kevin is still there. The soft fabric of his shirt tickles against Scotty’s naked belly. Scotty realizes he’s not imagening things. Kevin really is that close to him, lips softly pressed to his, asking permission to move on. Scotty’s lips part and Kevin finally takes the kiss further.
The kiss is better than any one other in any of Scotty’s most wildest dreams. He tries to remain frozen to ground, afraid that one move will break the moment, but his body begins to tremble slightly from the tension it feels. Kevin caresses his arms and pulls Scotty a little closer, thus giving permission to more intimacy.
With a sigh of finally being allowed to do this, Scotty brings his hands up to cup Kevin’s face and deepen the kiss. Their kiss is warm and needy and they both seem to lose themselves in it, while Kevin pushes Scotty backwards towards the wall, so Scotty is trapped between the wall and Kevin’s body.
Scotty doesn’t mind. His hands move from Kevin’s shoulder, over his back down towards Kevin’s ass and he presses Kevin even closer, making Kevin feel how aroused he is. Something that makes Kevin moan in either appreciation or shock, but Scotty hopes it’s the first.
Kevin feels Scotty’s hardness against his own. Definitely not a child anymore…. Kevin’s hand slides between their bodies, fumbles to undo the button and then moves along Scotty’s zipper, opening it, so that he’s even closer to touching the hardness he searches for.
Impatiently and hungry for more, Scotty presses Kevin’s hand between his legs, moaning loudly under the kiss, when Kevin squeezes carefully. With regret Scotty breaks the kiss.
“I thought we would take it slowly.” Scotty says out-of-breath. He hasn’t removed his hand from Kevin and he tries to not lose himself under Kevin’s touches.
“Do you want me to … stop?” And at the last word Kevin squeezes a little harder than before. Scotty makes an inarticulate noise and shakes his head. Kevin would like to ask him what he does want, but from the way Scotty presses his lower body against Kevin’s hand he can already figure out the answer.
“… Stay?” Scotty begs and Kevin nods, unable to say anything. He takes away his hand, much to Scotty’s dismay, but when Kevin looks at him Scotty can see that Kevin has more to offer. He pushes himself away from the wall and his fingers grab Kevin’s shirt and starts to pull Kevin towards his bedroom.
His fingers easily undo the buttons on Kevin’s shirt and Kevin lets it fall down, not wishing to break their kiss again. Opening the door of the bedroom is harder apparently, because Scotty has a hard time taking his hands off of Kevin’s body, but eventually he succeeds to not only get Kevin on the bed, but naked as well.
Hungrily he looks down on Kevin’s body.
“That Speedo didn’t do you justice.” He says in appreciation of the view.
“Well, I’m sure I must have been only mildly aroused…” Kevin laughs. Scotty quickly sheds the last of his own clothes and he almost literally throws himself on Kevin.
He cannot believe that he’s finally allowed to be with the man, who he had wanted for 10 years, but he’s not questioning what is happening, he just wants to enjoy every minute of it. They roll back and forth, once Kevin on top, the next time Scotty. With their kisses and caresses they arouse each other until Kevin finally pushes Scotty away, ever so gently.
“Protection?” He asks and Scotty is visibly surprised. “I won’t do it without..” Kevin warns.
“No. No, of course not, me neither, but… I didn’t think.. I thought that… Yes! I have it. Yes!” he quickly turns over and reaches out for the right drawer, too flabbergasted by how fast Kevin is moving..
“Are you sure? We don’t have to….” The moment the words come out Scotty bites his lip. Stupid! Now Kevin will turn him down and it will be over…. He closes his eyes tightly to stop the tears from stinging, but he feels Kevin caress his cheek. When he opens his eyes, he can see Kevin turn over to his belly. Scotty nearly lets the condoms drop.
He knows that it is now or never, ever again. Torn between feelings of ‘No way! This is not happening’ and ‘Oh, fuck!’ he prepares Kevin for him. At any moment he expects Kevin to tell him to stop, that the joke has gone on long enough, but with every moment that it doesn’t happen, he gets more aroused.
Feverishly he notices how Kevin meets his fingers and how badly he wants to replace them with his throbbing cock. With trembling fingers he unrolls the condom. This is the last moment, he knows, that Kevin could stop him, but Kevin doesn’t say a word and Scotty slowly pushes on…
The heat becomes unbearable. He tries his best not to come straightaway, but his entire body screams for release, to finally be able to let go. He’s taller than Kevin, he can easily reach down and please Kevin. He can kiss Kevin when pulls Kevin’s head back. Kevin is in his arms, where he belongs and Scotty feels as if he owns Kevin.
Kevin laughs softly when he hears Scotty say something about how Kevin is made for him. It sounds so victoriously and possessively, but Kevin likes it. And he would be the last one to disagree with Scotty, because he feels too, that Scotty is where he should be, deep inside him.
Scotty’s strong arms are around him and yet it doesn’t feel confining at all. Scotty’s passion makes Kevin access his own feelings. He gives in, relaxes, surrenders. Their love-making isn’t as uncoordinated as it should have been for first-time lovers. It is as if they both know exactly what to do and how.
Kevin can hear Scotty gasp behind him. The last thrust is hard and deep and Scotty growl makes Kevin understand that it comes from somewhere deep inside Scotty. Kevin closes his eyes tightly. One last touch, one last squeeze and he comes as well, making Scotty moan even more.
“I’m glad we decide to take it slow.” Scotty smiles without a hint of sarcasm. His fingers gently rub Kevin’s belly, while Kevin is spooned up against him.
“Yes, me too. Worked out real well.” Kevin grins.
“Just one. … Should have confronted you sooner… Mhmmm.” The last word is only because Scotty kisses that one particular spot behind his ear, that is so sensitive. He can hear Scotty laugh softly.
“Will you stay? Tonight?” Scotty ask, still a little insecure over Kevin’s feelings.
“Just tonight? Didn’t I live up to the hype?” Kevin asks teasinly, wondering if perhaps he hadn’t been what Scotty had dreamed of after all..
“Beyond my wildest expectations…” Scotty confesses. “...that is why I dare not ask for more.” Scotty’s voice trembles a bit.
Kevin turns in his arms to face him.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you want me to.” His thumb caresses Scotty’s cheek. Scotty smiles, he pulls the sheet tighter around them, forcing Kevin to lie even closer to him, and he turns off the light.
END OF PART 3