About: Kevin/Scotty and several others.
Disclaimer: B&S isn’t mine. Neither are the boys. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: I've been listening to 80s songs on the car-radio and got attacked by a fanatic plot-bunny. i have no real concept of when this takes place, but definitely after 2.16.
"Cinnamon Jack" is filled with people. Sockless feet in shoes and white suits. Leather pants and safety pins. Mohawks. Victorian shirts with lace. Plain jeans and white t-shirts. Some left-over disco-guys from the 70s disco-era mingle with guys dressed as rappers, with loads of fake-gold. And there’s eye-liner. Lots of eye-liner.
“80s night” is always a popular night and this night is no exception when Kevin, Scotty, Jordan and Mario enter the Cinnamon Jack. Quinn greets them as usual with air-kisses being exchanged between him and the others. He knows that it will make Kevin feel slightly out of place, still, but he’s glad that Kevin makes the effort.
Drinks are poured, people are greeted. Mario, Jordan, Scotty and Quinn have their own circle of friends, who bring friends of their own, gay or straight. Men dance closer to each other than the 80s would have permitted in usual circumstances, but no one cares, because tonight they only remember the best bits about the 80s. The music.
Standing at the bar, Scotty can see Kevin’s lips move along with the lyrics. Kevin never talks much about his teenage years, but Sarah and Kitty had been more than willing to provide Scotty with the information that Kevin had spent most of his Friday and Saturday-nights at the disco, never dancing with anyone, unless some girl asked him to dance.
Tommy had told Scotty that Kevin had owned a vast collection of albums and knew almost every song that would come out, but he listened to most of it on his bed, alone, the music silenced by his head-phones to not bother others,… or be bothered by them. Scotty figures that it must have been lonely times for Kevin.
Kevin looks around. Disco’s were not like this in the 80s. He knows this from growing up in those years. But it’s nice to see all different music-streams come together at nights like this. Plus, he can recognize most of the songs that are played and most of them have memories, that aren’t as unhappy as people might think.
In his room, in the dark, surrounded by his music he could be anyone he wanted to be. He’d have no acne. He wouldn’t be fat. In his mind he would own the dance-floor, be popular, be wanted by everyone. In his mind, he could sing, dance and be free. He could get any guy he wanted, especially those he couldn’t get in real life…
Kevin smiles. There’s something about the music that relaxes him. It’s his music, a part of his past, more than it’s Scotty’s or Jordan’s. The music brings back memories of other things. Dates, later on in 90s when he was older, more daring, more aware of who he was and what he was.
Scotty had only agreed to ask Kevin to come along because Jordan and Mario had whined about how boring he and Kevin had become. It had surprised him that Kevin had agreed to come along. Kevin had almost looked forward to it, until this morning, when suddenly Kevin hadn’t been sure if he really wanted to join Scotty.
Scotty had tried to persuade him and he had explained to Kevin that it would only be a good laugh. They'd make jokes about how the others are dressed up. Just some good fun. He knows that Kevin’s isn’t a very good dancer. But he doesn’t have to be. Scotty had assured Kevin that he could always dance with someone else. It’s not Kevin’s fault that he doesn’t like to dance.
Scotty stares at the dance-floor and moves his body to the rhythm. Someone comes up to him and asks him to dance, Scotty smiles apologetically at Kevin and accepts. Over the man’s shoulder Scotty can see a sad look on Kevin’s face and he wishes that Kevin would give this night a better try.
Kevin feels a bit lost. He would love to dance with Scotty, but at the same time, he feels it’s no longer his place to do it. These is Scotty’s hang-out, these are Scotty’s friends, this is Scotty’s world more than it’s his. And these guys (and some girls) aren’t the crowd he used to be with.
Jordan and Mario hit the dance-floor together. They’re having fun, laughing and giggling at some of the others and Scotty seems to enjoy his dance-partner as well.
“Kevin? Kevin Walker?” The voice is familiar and Kevin is surprised to find himself opposite John-John, one of his former boyfriends from several years ago.
“JJ! How nice to see you again!” Kevin’s face brightens up, becaust it is great to see his ex again.
“We were just talking about you. You remember Tom, Julian and Dean?”
“Yes. How could I forget?” Kevin laughs. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Reminiscing.” Dean replies. “And you?”
“I’m here with my husband.” He points at Scotty and there’s an appreciating whistle coming from the other three men.
“Married, huh? Never figured you to be the marrying kind.” Julian grins. “I remember how you never went home alone and never twice with the same guy.”
For a moment Kevin is tempted to remind Julian that he had spent more than one night in JJ’s bed, but he changes his mind. Why shatter the fantasy?
“Ah, those happy days.” Kevin grins. “But these days, I got all that I need right there.” He nods in Scotty’s direction.
“Why aren’t you on the dance-floor?” JJ asks, as the music becomes louder and he moves closer to Kevin to be able to talk to him.
“No one has asked me.” Kevin shrugs, but suddenly there’s an inviting smile on his face. JJ is a good dancer. Well, he was years ago and Kevin hopes he still is.
At that moment “Wake me up before you go-go” by Wham kicks in and JJ grins.
“Well, doesn’t that fit the moment…” He reaches out to Kevin and Kevin takes his hand. Kevin lets himself be guided to the dance-floor.
At first he feels awkward and a bit stiff. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all. Then comes the moment that JJ moves closer to him and Kevin feels that old feeling come back to him. He knows JJs body and JJ knows his.
They look at each other and they both know they still have it in them.
“Let’s show those kids how it’s done.” Kevin grins.
Julian, Dean and Tom join them on the dance-floor and others move around them. All Kevin hears is the music. He feels the beat. He sees how much JJ is enjoying himself. Years fall away. He feels younger again. Not the lost teenager that he was in the 80s, but the young man he was in the 90s.
He had never been impressed with grunge, techno or rap, but the music from the decade earlier could always get him to dance. He had learned to own the dance-floor. He had lost the weight and the acne. He had made enough money to be popular and he was secure enough of himself to have the boyfriends that he never believed he could get.
He had still loved the music and he had found the way to make his dreams come true. Away from Nora, William and the other Walkers, away from his stuffy job as a lawyer, the obscure discos had given him the opportunity to be the man he had wished he had been, when he should have been.
Scotty is surprised to not find Kevin where he left him, at the bar. He’s even more surprised when he sees Kevin on the dance-floor, dancing with another man. What the…?
“Is that Kevin?” Jordan asks, while Divine encourages people to “Shoot your shot”.
Kevin and JJ dance close to each other, both in a trance over the music they know so well and their bodies find each other like they did so many years ago.
“Seems they know how to shoot at each other….” Mario points out.
“I never knew Kevin could do that with his hips.” Jordan is impressed.
“I do… But we usually only keep that for between the sheets.” Scotty frowns. He feels annoyed as Kevin dances on, changing partners easily between JJ, Julian and Dean. It would appear that Depeche Mode isn’t the only one who “Just can’t get enough”, but it isn’t until Communards take over the speakers that Scotty snaps out his indecisiveness.
Jimmy Somerville begs people to “Don’t leave me this way” and apparently Dean has no intention to let go of Kevin. He dances behind Kevin, but Kevin is noticeably aware of his closeness. Dean’s hands slide over Kevin’s belly, it goes beyond suggestion and Scotty’s frown becomes deeper while his jealousy turns him into one angry man.
After all, Kevin is his husband and if anyone will do the groping, it will be him and not some stranger. Scotty moves closer to Kevin and ruthlessly cuts in.
However, Kevin’s reaction is not what he had hoped for. It is as if Kevin gets yanked out of his dream-state and crashes back to reality. His happy smile disappears and is replaced by a befuddled look.
It reminds Scotty of the time when Bertha had caught him dancing in front of the mirror with a hair-brush in his hands. One moment you feel great, on top of the world. and the next you stare at your mom and you feel incredibly stupid. Caught. Embarrassed. For a moment Kevin had been in his own world and Scotty has just opened the door and let reality in.
Kevin stops dancing and backs away. As if JJ and the others understand what is going on, they let him go and Scotty follows Kevin, unaware that Mario and Jordan keep an eye on them. Kevin enters the men’s room to splash some cold water on his face. He’s not ready to face Scotty, but he knows that Scotty is right behind him. The music is suddenly far away.
“You’re a good dancer…” Scotty sounds accusatory and Kevin heaves a sigh.
“So I’ve been told.” Kevin shrugs it off.
“Why do you always pretend like you don’t like to dance?”
“I don’t like to dance… In general that is. But there’s something about that music…”
“The way you were dancing with those guys…”
“I knew them way back then….”
“The 80s…?” Scotty wonders if Kevin knew them from high-school.
“No. From after that. Somewhere 1995 to 2002.”
“How well did you know them?”
“I think I may have slept with either Dean or Julian… Or both… Not at the same time… Separately…” Kevin feels the need to emphasize, before he goes on. “And JJ was my boyfriend for a while.”
“And you can dance with them, but not with me?” Scotty’s voice is louder than he planned.
“You didn’t come here to dance, you came here to ridicule those outside. Guys like Dean and JJ…” Kevin yells back and then, softer, he adds: “… and me.”
He turns away and Scotty stares at his husband’s back. It had never occurred to him that he could have hurt Kevin’s feelings by joking about those people who show up at these 80s nights, dressed as if they just stepped out of that time-period. To Scotty it had always looked funny.
“I’m sorry.” He says softly. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know… I don’t blame you. I get why this is all a joke to you. I always feel the same when I go to a 70s party and see white people with afro-wigs…” Kevin smiles sweetly. “I’m not angry with you, but I don’t feel comfortable anymore about dancing either…”
“I want to dance with you…” Scotty begs. Kevin looks at him. “I swear, no more jokes about the shirts in pastel colours.” Scotty promises.
“That is a serious commitment, you know. And no one messes with Miami Vice…” Kevin smiles to show that he’s only joking.
“I love you, Kevin, and I don’t want you to think that I was laughing at you. I was actually quite amazed by how good you looked on the dance-floor and …” He swallow hard because it’s hard to say it. “… I was jealous that you danced with those guys and that you were so sexy and free with them and not with me…”
Kevin nods and bites his lip. Scotty is right of course. Scotty is his husband and if there’s anyone he should feel free with, it’s him.
“I’m sorry too. I should have… asked you to dance with me…” Kevin smiles.
“Yes, you should have…”
“Night’s still young. Can I have the next dance?”
“Yes, you can…” Scotty takes his hand and they leave the men’s room at the same time that the lights get turned down low.
“After all the dancing, it’s time to … relax-sssssssss….” The dj announces.
The dance-music fades away to a slower song. As Madonna sings “I see you through the smoky air, can’t you feel the weight of my stare…” Kevin wraps his arm around Scotty’s waist and pulls him closer. They don’t really need the music, their bodies can easily find their own song to dance to.
They become oblivious to everything around them. There’s no one else accept them under the glittering lights.
“I’m crazy for you…” Scotty whispers in Kevin ear and Kevin lets his head rest against Scotty’s shoulder. Finally, the dreams and the music completely match.