marea67 (marea67) wrote,

39 steps - step 15 - 2.02 An American family

The 39 steps
August 20, 2008
It’s 39 days to go until the start of season 3 in America.
There are 39 episodes for season 1 and 2. (Not taking the unaired episode in account or the original pilot, as not everybody can see those)
I started to watch the episodes again. One episode a day.
And then I got the plan to write a small scene for every episode. (Never more than 1 page long)

2.02 An American family

By Marea67
About: Justin
Rate: G
Disclaimer: B&S doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: He’s waiting.


He doesn’t feel a thing. One of the perks of being medicated he assumes. But the pain-killers take only the physical pain away. They cannot take away the pain of closing your eyes and seeing yourself and others sitting in the back of the truck. They can’t take away the thundering sound of the explosion. The pain in his leg as he lies on the dusty ground. Not knowing what is going on and why his body is no cooperating.

As dull as his legs feel, his mind is still working and keeps hearing the shots around him. He knows they are snipers and he knows he’s injured and he knows that he’s on the floor and he knows he’s an easy target. There is no room for panic. Only for prayer. But he is not religious and sometimes wonder if God would bother to listen to some drug-addict who never did a good thing in his life.

So, as the shots ring out and he hears people yelling and screaming around him, he stays on the ground, immovable. He thinks of Nora’s smile, he prays for another chance to fight with Tommy, he remembers Paige’s and Cooper’s laughter, he hangs on the memory of teasing Kevin, he cries because he has not seen Kitty’s wedding-dress and he wants to know if Rebecca told Sarah the truth.

The shots eventually stopped. He doesn’t remember much from what happened after that. He was vaguely aware of hospital lights, nurses, soft voices, he cannot hear what is said. Needles in his arm. Everything is a blur, but he doesn’t feel anything from the waist down… And he panics, thinking he might have lost a leg or maybe two…. When he can finally can talk, he hears that he still has both legs, which is a relief. It will take time to heal… but at least he will heal.

He sees some of the other patients. Worse off than he is and he knows he should be grateful. But in his mind he’s still with his unit in Iraq. Who will replace him? He hopes it’s not John, that guy is such an insensitive bastard, who was more effective in demoralizing the men with his ruthless remarks than the sniper-fire ever could… He’s worried about ‘his people’ still over there and he’s frustrated that he cannot help them any more.

And he turns his head and he sees them. His mother, his brother, his sister. Nora with a courageous smile on her face, but he knows she’s crying in her heart. Nora waves and he smiles. Kitty is all smiles. Happy to see him. He sees Kevin curious and loving and caring… the one who finds it hard to control his feelings. Kevin is SO gay sometimes and he loves his brother for it.

And he knows he’s caught between two worlds, caught between physically being here in San Diego, but emotionally still  with his unit in Iraq…. 

Tags: character - justin, series - 39 steps

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