Rating: G to NC-17
Disclaimer: B&S is not mine
Summary: AU – A 36-year old lawyer wants to go home, a 25-year drifter wants to escape his
The car takes them further and further away from Chicago and the thought of that seems to take weight of the shoulders of both men. It’s nearly two in afternoon and the delicious sandwich and hot coffee, they just had, only seems to enhance the feeling of being in a good place.
The weather is exceptionally good and the gentle movement of the car seems to cradle Scotty to sleep. Kevin looks at him, once again amazed how long his eye-lashes are. And that beautiful mouth that had been on his only last night. He quickly shakes his head to not get distracted by the memory.
But the road is long and straight and mostly empty so Kevin’s eyes quickly get back to staring at Scotty. He looks at Scotty chest, the one he had felt against his back last night and that had been a good feeling. He sighs as the glance goes down even further to the long muscular legs.
He looks away as a memory of John and him suddenly hits him hard. It had happened 15 years ago and yet it feels as if it was seconds ago. Staring at the road, Kevin remembers sitting next to John, maybe it happened on this same stretch of road… he doesn’t remember that.
But he does remember watching John drive and seeing how John’s hand slipped from the gear stick to his knee and slowly moving up by the inside of Kevin’s thighs. He had been only 21 years old, but he still remembers the shock he had felt. He had wanted to tell John to stop, that they couldn’t do that. At the same time, he wanted John’s hand to move higher…
Kevin smiles at the memory. His hand caresses the gear-stick, as John had done, and then moves towards Scotty. Without actually touching Scotty, he traces back John’s tender touch, feeling a sadness over the fact that he’s gone forever and that Kevin is the one left behind to deal with all these emotions.
From between his eye-lashes, Scotty can see Kevin’s movement. He’s not stupid and he can guess from the sad smile on Kevin’s face that it isn’t him, but John, that Kevin is thinking of. He moves a knee a bit up and it comes in touch with Kevin’s hand. Kevin moves away his hand very quickly.
“I’m sorry.” He says softly. Scotty merely smiles. “Thought you were asleep.”
“I wasn’t… And don’t apologize. You didn’t touch me. It wasn’t me that you were reaching out to, was it?”
“No.” Kevin replies.
“Was it John?”
“I miss him… 15 years ago, we drove here and…” Kevin stops midsentence and shrugs.
“No, please, tell me. I love to listen to you talk about him. You loved him so much and from the sound of it, he loved you too and… I wish I could find a love like that.”
“You will, Scotty. One day you will.” Kevin promises.
“Until then… tell me about you and John. What did you two do?”
“Well, let’s say that I was glad it warm enough to make stains dry up quickly, thus evaporating any and all evidence…” Kevin winks, feeling more cheerful, and Scotty laughs.
“It sounds like you two had a lot of fun together.”
“It was unreal. I was so inexperienced and he … knew so much.”
“Was the age-difference a big problem for you two, in the beginning?”
“Not for us. He was in good shape, didn’t look any older than 35, though he was 48.”
“I know, he wasn’t welcomed with open arms in my family. They didn’t mind that I was gay. They were perfectly prepared to accept that I would bring home a man one day and introduce him as the love of my life.
They weren’t prepared for a man old enough to be my father. They thought that John was just using me. That in my shyness – I was incredibly shy – I was no real match for him and he knew it and abused that power. It was really tough to explain that it was nothing like that.”
“Still. I can’t blame them. Personally, I can’t see the attraction of a man that much older either. No offense. Your choice, you life. I know that love can change everything.”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t looking for love. I was just a junior-clerk at the office and I’d been told to drive this lawyer around and take him where he wanted to go, because everyone was busy.
I met him at the airport and I was immediately in awe. He was everything I wasn’t. Handsome, tall, calm, a person with authority, polite, kind. Someone who you would instinctively respect, because you knew you had to. Someone who had accomplished a lot of things in his life and who knew that and accepted it.
And there I was. This awkward kid, just done struggling with acne and still wearing the signs of it, who had to start at the bottom of office-work doing the most boring and uninteresting jobs, that the other lawyers could find me. I felt ugly, stupid and invisible compared to him. And yet… He was curious about me.
He asked me some questions and I politely answered him and I was surprised when he remembered it the next day. He didn’t have to be kind to me, I was a nobody, but … he made me feel special. I don’t believe that either of us planned anything in particular, we just got stuck together and … we liked each other.
Yes, he was older than me, but he wasn’t ‘old’ if you catch my meaning. He wasn’t some rusty, stuck in his own generation type of man. He was curious, wanted to see, experience, learn… He had an open mind and a generous heart …. I don’t know. We grew very close in a few days.
I drank in all his stories. I was in awe… He loved to make me talk and I never knew I had so much to tell. And then he had to go back to Chicago, his work in LA was done…. And it nearly broke my heart that we had to say goodbye….”
“What happened then?” Scotty asks, engrossed in the story.
“I’m not entirely sure.” Kevin smiles absent-mindedly. His memories go back to that fateful day so many years ago. “I took him to his hotel, where I was supposed to drop him off. He would fly back the next day… I helped him carry his briefcase and such upstairs, I remember that I wanted to stay with him as long as I could, without coming across as too stalkerish.
I thought I would never see him again, once he left. At the door he turned to me and said that he would miss LA, and then he paused and added that he would miss me in particular. I nearly fainted, unable to believe that he could actually even remotely like me, let alone really miss me, but I just felt that he was honest.
I stammered something about missing him too and …” Kevin smiles lovingly. “.. then he said ‘sorry, but I have to do this or I’ll regret it forever’ and he kissed me and … I didn’t get my feet back on Earth until about half an hour later, on his hotel-bed, half naked and, as one would say, ‘tired but satisfied’….” He grins with the biggest smile ever.
“What happened after that?” Scotty asks.
“He stayed a day longer, made arrangement at his firm and he gave me time to pack. I flew with him to Chicago, I moved in with him and I never left him again.”
“Aww, that sounds so loving and perfect.” Scotty swoons sweetly. Kevin smiles.
“It wasn’t perfect, but close enough… But enough about John and me. What about you?”
“Me? Nothing to tell. No big love, no big drama. I was too scared to come out for a long time. I knew my parents would never accept me or my sexual orientation. I managed to survive high-school. Went from job to job after that.
I never really knew what I wanted or needed. I’ve spent the last few years escaping reality by working, earning money and then spending it at fast as I earned it. Going to clubs and dance, get drunk, meeting guys, having quick and meaningless sex…
Meanwhile, my mom just kept trying to hook up me with this or that girl from church, the supermarket or whatever place she’d pick one up. I tried carefully to explain to her that I wasn’t interested, but she was in complete denial about it.”
“What did you do?”
“In a drunken mood I got a really splendid idea…”
“Trust me, those ‘splendid’ ideas are only splendid when you’re drunk.”
“Yeah, tell me about it…”
“I let her and my dad walk in on my boyfriend having sex in the living-room on their couch.... This got aggravated by the fact that they just came back from church where their minister had just held one of those uplifting sermons about hell fire, eternal damnation and more of those fun perks of being gay.”
He can see the astonished look on Kevin’s face.
“… Of all the bad ways for you to get your point across….” Kevin states.
“Let’s say, it wasn’t a good night. For none of us.” Scotty’s jaw locks and it’s apparent to Kevin that it must hurt Scotty more than he lets on.
“This only makes me more grateful that my parents were so accepting of me. I mean, they didn’t like the idea of John, because they thought he was taking advantage of my innocence, but … they never dislike him or me because we were gay… Did your parents throw you out?”
“Yes. I had to pray for salvation, renounce my unnatural behavior, control my perverted lust or else…. It was either their way or the highway, so I took the highway, …. At least, until my car broke down near Chad’s place that is.”
“And the rest is history.” Kevin nods with a smile.
Scotty opens the balcony-doors. Room with a view on a desert. There’s a novelty for him.
“Wouldn’t want to get lost out there without water.” He says.
“Don’t worry we have more than enough water in the car.” Kevin says with a smile and he undresses himself. Scotty looks over his shoulder.
“Want me to close the doors again?”
“Please, there are some nasty bugs and snakes outside.”
“Really?” Scotty looks around, suddenly worried. Kevin smiles and lets his fingers run along Scotty’s spine.
“Spider!” he teases. It takes Scotty a few seconds to realize that Kevin is making a joke and that leads to Scotty chasing after Kevin through the bedroom.
“If I catch you…!” Scotty warns, but Kevin escapes his grab, until the both tumble on the bed and Scotty, having found out that Kevin is ticklish, dishes out his ‘punishment’.
They both laugh until they’re breathless and only then does Scotty roll off Kevin to give him some more air.
“That was fun.” Kevin laughs. “Hadn’t done that in a long time.”
“Me neither.” Scotty grins, rolling over to lie on his side, so he can look at Kevin.
It is warm in the room and there’s sweat on Kevin’s forehead, making his hair curl up in those cute little curls that Scotty had noticed before, but that Kevin keeps combing away. Scotty reaches out to one of them and tugs at them.
“I know, they’re terrible.” Kevin sighs, but he doesn’t withdraw his head.
“No. I like them.”
“Didn’t John?” Scotty teases, unable to believe that John, in all his perfection, would never have told Kevin the same thing.
“No. Said they made me look like a poodle.”
“That’s unfair. Those little curls are so cute…” Scotty pouts.
“You should see me after I’ve taken a shower.” Kevin laughs.
“I’d love that!?” Kevin isn’t exactly sure if Scotty’s teasing.
“It’s hot in here. Can’t believe they forgot to turn on the air-conditioner… I feel soaking wet.” Kevin complains, sitting up. Scotty looks at the sharp contrasts on the back of Kevin’s t-shirt. “Maybe I should take a shower and freshen up… Do you want to go first or shall I?”
“Why don’t we go together?” Scotty doesn’t show it, but he’s a little shocked by his own words. Is he mad? What possesses him to make a proposition like this? Kevin is surprised as well and he frowns over Scotty’s word. Though a part of him screams to take Scotty up on his words, his calmly replies:
“We had an agreement. No strings attached. You don’t have to…. do … anything… I don’t expect sex in return for this trip. I may have given the wrong impression last night, and I’m sorry about that, but I don’t want you think that you must do this.”
“But I want to…” Scotty hears himself say and he’s not lying.
There’s something about Kevin that fuels a lust in him that he never knew he had.
“If you don’t want it, just say ‘no’, but I don’t feel like I have to. What happened last night, was more about me overwhelming you, than about you taking advantage of me. Yes, I was drunk, but that’s not my excuse. I'm not looking for an excuse.
I knew you hadn’t been with anyone in a long time. I knew you weren’t expecting it. I knew you would make no demands. I did it because I wanted it, I think that the wine only gave me the courage to go after what I wanted…. I feel like we’re both trying to start a new life, but have things that need to be left behind…
I have no expectations. There are no obligations on my part either. I’m grateful for the opportunity you’re giving me, but… At the same time… it’s also kind of exciting. Here we are, two perfect strangers, travelling the same road together, sharing a car, a room and a bed. Why not make the best of it? And … enjoy the possibilities?”
Kevin is obviously in doubt. He’s not exactly against Scotty’s plan, but at the same time it feels weird to have these feelings. He’s not used to someone being so forward with him. Scotty approaches Kevin and carefully tugs up the front of his t-shirt and, with his lips close to Kevin’s, he whispers:
“When was the last time you showered with someone else? Have someone soap your back? … Or other parts…?” His fingertips brush against the hairs on Kevin’s belly. He hears Kevin’s breath hitch. “So, don’t think... Don’t be rational… Just let go … and imagine us… there in that shower.. and the water… and….”
Kevin moans as Scotty’s soaped up hands caress his body. The movements are slow and sensual and Kevin’s hands cover Scotty’s to guide them to where he wants them to go. It’s a experience he hasn’t had in a long time and his entire body longs for more. He turns around in Scotty’s arms and presses a kiss to Scotty’s mouth.
He rubs his body against Scotty’s so that Scotty knows that they are both aroused and that Kevin wants so much more than he’s getting right now. He lifts up Kevin’s chin and kisses him.
“What do you want most of all, right now?” Scotty asks. “Say it and I’ll do it.” He watches Kevin swallow hard.
“I .. don’t know….” Kevin stammers, even though he knows exactly what he wants.
“Yes, you do. Say it.” Scotty says again.
“I… I can’t. It would inappropriate…”
“Well, isn’t that exactly the point?” Scotty teases. Kevin seems to gather his courage.
“I … I want to make love with you. Whatever, however, you want it, just …” He can’t finish his sentence, but instead he just kisses Scotty.
“Thought you’d never ask…” Scotty immediately takes action. His mouth is on Kevin’s, his tongue playing with Kevin’s.
Kevin moves in his arms. He wants Scotty any way he can get him. As with the previous night, Kevin feels quickly overwhelmed by it all. Scotty’s mouth seems to know exactly what Kevin likes. His strong hands seem to know exactly where to touch Kevin to make him moan.
Scotty’s teeth graze Kevin’s skin, leaving little bite-marks that quickly fade, but they drive Kevin insane with longing for more. He’s tired of waiting. With a sudden push, he shoves Scotty against the other wall, pinning him between the wall and Kevin’s body.
“What…?” Scotty seems a bit surprised, but Kevin silences him with a quick kiss.
“Trust me.” Kevin tells him. He grabs Scotty’s wrists and holds them behind Scotty’s back. It isn’t really very forceful, because Scotty could easily break free if he had wanted to, but he doesn’t. Instead, he watches how Kevin goes on his knees and how his tongue teasingly explores Scotty’s cock.
Scotty’s head hits the tiles with a soft thud, when Kevin’s warm mouth closes around his arousal and quickly after that, Scotty wrings his wrists free from Kevin’s grip so he can hold Kevin’s head and so that he has more control of what is happening to him.
“Kevin!... Kevin… I’m gonna...” He moans, expecting Kevin to back off, but he doesn’t.
Scotty loses all control. The orgasm hits him harder than he had thought possible and afterwards he can only slowly sink down to the ground, until he’s on same height with Kevin.
“That was … good…” He says out of breath and Kevin laughs.
“I’ve never had complains before.” He replies smugly. “But… I’m not done either…”
Kevin turns off the water and he helps Scotty up. He guides Scotty back to the bedroom, where he pushes Scotty onto the bed, but when Kevin grabs the package of condoms he suddenly feels doubt rise inside him. Scotty can see it as well.
“Kevin,… it’s alright… Just do it….” Scotty encourages softly.
He doesn’t have to say the words twice and by the time that Kevin penetrates him, Scotty is completely ready and aroused again. Kevin’s thrusts are easily met and Scotty enjoys the feel of the warm hands that caress his legs, his belly and his cock to keep him stimulated, without making him come.
“Kevin, … Please…” Scotty begs, he’s out of breath and Kevin can see that Scotty is tired and longing for satisfaction. He smiles and only gives Scotty a little nod. Scotty closes his eyes, because it suddenly feels as if Kevin is everywhere. Kevin’s thrusts become deeper and harder and Kevin’s hands move faster.
Scotty pushes himself closer to Kevin, wants to feel him even deeper than is possible, he wants more, so much more and then Kevin suddenly kisses him, just simply invades his mouth and takes up their love-making a notch higher. It is all Scotty needs to let go. And, from the soft curse he hears, he guesses that Kevin follows his example.
END OF CHAPTER THREE