About: Kevin/Scotty and others.
Rate: It will have NC-17 at some point. Like today!
Summary: When Scotty has to deal with too many disasters at once, William offers him a solution that will change his life
They slowly walk back to the house, both still in awe about the afternoon. They had spent it quietly enjoying each other’s company, but suddenly also aware of their feelings for each other. They are both rather intimidated by how strongly they had felt their love.
Upon entering the house, where it’s a lot cooler than outside, they both go their own way. Kevin goes to his room to sit down and get his thoughts organized again.
Scotty, on the other hand, returns to his kitchen, which is the only place where he can calm down and focus on something else. Going about his routine to make dinner, makes him reach a point where he can finally gather the strength to do what he feels he must do. He picks up his phone and dials.
“Scotty! Haven’t heard from you in days. Are you alright?” Justin doesn’t sound as worried as his question would make believe.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“I like people who know exactly where they stand.” Justin jokes. “What’s up? Wanna talk?”
“I think I’m in love… Actually, I’m pretty sure of it.”
“So, that’s why you’ve gone into hiding? Is it the doctor-dude?”
“No… John is nice, but not my type… No, it’s not the doctor.”
“Please, don’t tell me you guys still have a milk-man or something, because that would be so cliché.” Justin jokes.
“No, not that either. It’s… It’s Kevin….”
“The one... The one I’m in love with.... I think.”
“You 'think'? Or you 'know'?”
“Holy shit! … Why? When? How?” Justin shoots his questions.
“Don’t know. Don’t know. And .. don’t know.” Scotty answers.
“Alright, I get that maybe Kevin isn’t as bad as we were told he was. And he does seem nice on the phone… But …. Falling in love? Scotts, really? I know you’re still hurting from what happened between you and Chad….”
“Who?” Scotty asks, not entirely joking, because he hadn’t thought of Chad in at least two weeks.
“… and Chad…” Justin repeats and he continues. “… But you can’t take it out on Kevin. He must be desperate for some love and affection, I don’t feel comfortable with the fact that you use that desperation to make yourself feel better…. Please, don’t pretend that you love him. He doesn’t deserve to get hurt even more. Especially not by you. You’re better than that.”
“Thank you, I think… I’m not joking around and I’m not pretending. It took a while, but Kevin is just so amazing and I really respect him and … this going to sound so stupid, I know, and at the risk of sounding like a 12-year old girl… I just fell for him… I feel a complete when I’m with him… He’s my other, better half…”
“Wow, you got it bad.” Justin mumbles and he’s quiet for a few seconds. “Where does that leave me?” He then pouts, but there’s humor in his voice and Scotty smiles.
“We’ll always be each other’s shadow, but you need to find a better half of your own… Which reminds me… Have you asked Tyler yet….?”
When Scotty calls Kevin down for dinner, Kevin tells him that he has a head-ache and prefers to stay in bed a little longer. Scotty bring a tray up to Kevin’s room. Kevin doesn’t move when Scotty places the tray on his desk, but Scotty knows he’s awake. He can hear it in Kevin’s breathing.
“Don’t let it get cold.” He says in a gruff voice and he escapes the room with fear in his heart. Kevin is pulling away from him. Either Kevin got scared or changed his mind. Or perhaps his insecurities just got the better of him again. Whatever the reason, Scotty feels the wall between them.
He eats alone at the kitchen-table, clears away the dishes, goes upstairs to get Kevin’s tray, only to find it outside the door, on the ground. Kevin has eaten, but obviously doesn’t want him to come in… It somehow hurts Scotty deeper than he believed possible. It feels like a full rejection.
Around ten o’clock he can no longer stand it to be in the kitchen alone and so he locks up the house. He walks up the stairs, feeling incredibly tired, like all energy has left him. At the top of the stairs he turn to go to his room, when the door of Kevin’s room opens and Kevin comes out.
“I locked up. I’m going to bed.” Scotty says, his voice even.
“Scotty, … will you please stay with me tonight?” Kevin asks. Scotty shakes his head.
“Kevin, if this is just about sex…”
“It’s not… I’ve been trying to figure it all out in my mind… My feelings for you. And how I can’t have them…”
“Can’t have them?”
“Scotty, you’re only twenty-five, you deserve so much more than… me.”
“I’m not a child. I’ve had relationships before. I’m not stupid and I know what I want.” Scotty’s voice is louder than he planned. “I want you.”
“And you think that I’m not? It’s always scary….”
Kevin leans with his back against the wall, next to the door of his room. Not wishing to give away an inch, Scotty subconsciously mirrors the pose at the door of his own room, leaving a large empty space between them. Kevin can now also feel the wall that stands between them and he sighs.
“Scotty, when I fell in love with Jason, years ago…” He can hear Scotty give an annoyed sigh, but he goes on. “…. I sincerely believed that he was the one. In sickness and in health. Good times or bad. Till death do us part…. That stuff.... And then I got sick, in a way. And times were bad… and he ran off as if chased by the Devil.
Logically, I can’t blame him. I might have done the same. I don’t judge him to be a bad person. It’s always easy to say that you would have done things differently, when it had been you, but you just cannot know that, unless you’d do it. But, when he left… he left a big hole inside of me. It hurt so badly…
I may have had the accident, and my face may have been torn to shreds, but I was still the same person that I had been several weeks before. A human being who longed to be loved, to be respected. I didn’t deserve to be treated like I was some filthy insect that you find under the kitchen-sink, but that was how people started to look at me.
That shock, that revulsion, that disgust… I was in a lot of pain. My face hurt so bad, and then the rest of my body started to hurt as well. I felt dirty, unwanted, gross, a monster… Every time I would see my mom or my dad or Tommy or the doctors or the nurses walk in, I could see them flinch…
They would stop for just a second, stare at me and have that look…. Then it would pass and they would get back to whatever they came to do… It’s the reason why I don’t want you to see my face… I don’t want to see that look. And I’m afraid. Because, I know, at some point, I’m going to get that look…Because if you and I would get more intimate, there will be that moment that I will not be able to hide myself from you anymore…”
“Kevin, I don’t think it would make a difference.”
“Yes, it would.”
“No. Don’t compare me to Jason. Jason fell in love with you when you were handsome, young and just … perfect… and I … I didn’t fall for your pretty face, that’s for sure…” Scotty tries to joke sweetly….
“I fell in love with the man who wasn’t any of that. You were broken and hurt when I met you. Without wanting to pass judgment on Jason, he saw you at your best, but couldn’t handle it when the bad times and the sickness came in. I’ve seen you at your worst. It will never get that bad again. I can only see a positive future for us.” Scotty says. Kevin shakes his head.
“Scotty, I want you so much.. When Jason left me, it broke my heart …. And I’m not sure that I could handle going through it again, because if you would leave me too, I wouldn’t be able to survive… not again... I just couldn’t.” Scotty can see him wipe his face and he pushes himself away from the wall to walk up to Kevin.
“I love you.” Scotty repeats, wrapping his arms around him.
“And I love you. And I’m so scared.”
“Then let’s be scared together… in your bed… and let me chase all the monsters away…” Scotty playfully says, pushing Kevin towards the door of his bedroom. Kevin stops him.
“This afternoon it was great that I had such a good reaction… but I’m not sure if …”
“Stop worrying, please. We’ll take it slowly and if you get aroused then it’s will be fine and if you don’t … we can still have a good time…” Scotty sits down on the bed and pulls Kevin closer, but he doesn’t let him sit down with him.
His fingers slide easily along the zipper of Kevin’s pants and he can hear Kevin’s breathing stop, especially when he feels an immediate reaction to his soft touch.
“You know what? I think he actually likes me…” Scotty teasingly says, opening up the pants to let his fingertips caress Kevin’s growing erection.
“He’s not the only one…” Kevin sighs, his hand rests gently on Scotty’s head. He doesn’t dare to encourage Scotty any further, but he doesn’t have to. Scotty’s lips rest against the skin of Kevin’s belly, sweetly kissing their way down until Scotty finally takes Kevin’s cock in his mouth.
To Kevin it seems like life can’t any better than this. He closes his eyes tightly and enjoys all the feelings that he goes through. He starts to feel weak in the knees and eventually he manages to get on the bed, even it means that Scotty has to let go for a few seconds. However, all to quickly Kevin can resume thrusting up hoping to find satisfaction.
Scotty easily turns him on and he even manages to keep Kevin aroused as he lets go to ask:
“What do you want most of all?”
“I.. I can’t….” Kevin sighs, not wishing to demand something that Scotty might not be willing to give.
“Come on. Anything you want. Say it…” Scotty encourages. Kevin closes his eyes tightly. He sincerely doesn’t care as long as Scotty is willing to continue to touch him, caress him, play with him.
“I want you inside of me…” Kevin hears himself moan.
“I like that idea…” Scotty confesses in a low voice and Kevin gets even more excited. “I’ll get what we need from my room… Don’t move a muscle … I’ll be right back.” He promises, leaving the bed to quickly go to his room. Deprived of Scotty’s presence Kevin suddenly feels very naked and he shyly covers himself with the sheet..
It’s only a minute that Scotty is gone and the first thing he does he push away the sheet until it falls on the floor.
“Are you sure? I mean… Do you really want this?” Scotty asks and Kevin feels panic come up. Naturally. He’s been moving too fast. Scotty would rather do something else…
“If you don’t want to do it… I don’t really care, if you prefer another position.…? Anything you want.”
“I want nothing more than to be inside of you and just….” Scotty licks his lips, leaving it up to Kevin’s imagination to fantasize how far Scotty wants to go.
Scotty hears that the words ‘oh, fuck’ are whispered behind the veil and he laughs.
“Exactly what we’re going to do… All. Night. Long..” Preparing Kevin is easier than he thought it would be. He had expected Kevin to be frightened, but Kevin eagerly offers himself up to Scotty’s fingers as they move inside him, getting him ready.
“Want to get on your hands and knees, baby?” Scotty asks and Kevin turns over and it takes all of Scotty’s self-control to not shove himself inside Kevin with one thrust. He knows that he has to take it slow, which is what he tries to do, but Kevin has other plans and faster than expected, Scotty is deep inside Kevin.
He can hear Kevin make a sound that he cannot identify.
“Stop, Scotty, just….”
“Easy, baby, I don’t want to hurt you.” Scotty says apologetically.
“You’re not… Don’t worry, you’re not hurting me… I just… want to turn off the light…”
Kevin’s words surprise Scotty, but he watches how Kevin turns of the light, so that they are in the dark. From the movement underneath him he understands that Kevin just took off his veil.
“I wanted to be free. Free of veils, masks and everthing else.” Kevin explains softly, pressing closer to Scotty.
“What? No blindfold? I thought that was kind of kinky.” Scotty teases.
Kevin laughs and then he can feel how Scotty wraps his strong arms around Kevin, holding him tightly in his arms. He starts to thrust and underneath him, Kevin reacts to him immediately. Scotty tries to take it slow, he wants to prolong the love-making as long as he can, but it’s just no use.
Together they too quickly find the rhythm they’re searching for and Kevin moans as Scotty seems to know exactly what buttons to push inside him. He completely surrenders to the love and attention that his lover gives him and he allows Scotty to take charge and take him to seventh heaven.
“Don’t move…” Kevin sighs contently.
“My arm’s asleep.” Scotty carefully moves his arm from underneath Kevin.
“Sorry. But it feels so good to be in your arms…”
“It feels so good to hold you there.” Scotty replies, placing a kiss on Kevin’s shoulder.
“If this is a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up again.” Kevin’s voice is heavy with sleep.
“It’s not a dream and I want to do this with you over and over again.”
“I can’t wait…” Kevin replies, but it’s a lie, because he drifts off to the land of sleep.
Sunlight hits Scotty’s eyes. The room, that had been so pitch-black during the night, now bathes in sunlight and Scotty turns his head to find out where Kevin is. Then he sees Kevin and a shock runs through him. The veil is still on the floor and for the first time he can actually see Kevin’s face.
He backs away. His lips form the words ‘oh, my God’, but there’s no sound. And just at that moment Kevin opens his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. He blinks against the harsh light and he looks up at Scotty. Within a second he realizes the reason why can see Scotty so clearly.
“No!” He whispers, because it means that he also knows the reason why Scotty backs away, and then it’s there. The thing that Kevin had dreaded the most… that look. The one that couldn’t be controlled. Horror. Shock. The realization how ugly Kevin actually is. “Please? Don’t look at me… Not like that..” Kevin begs in tears, but Scotty doesn’t hear him.
It’s too late. He has seen Kevin’s face, the face behind the mask, and he slips off the bed and turns away.
“Scotty! No! Scotty, please!” Kevin cries, but Scotty runs out the bedroom and in complete shock Kevin curls up against his pillow, knowing that he just lost everything he ever wanted.
END OF CHAPTER TEN