Behind the mask 08/?By Marea67About:
Kevin/Scotty and others.Rate:
It will have NC-17 at some point. Like today!Summary:
When Scotty has to deal with too many disasters at once, William offers him a solution that will change his life*****
“Hi. What are you doing?” Kevin asks, when he sees Scotty sitting at the kitchen-table, staring at his laptop, pressing a tissue to his eyes.
“Watching the ‘wedding of this century’.” Scotty replies with too much bitterness. Kevin knows by now that the press is considering this marriage very news-worthy and though he would have preferred to ignore it altogether, curiosity wins out.
He looks over Scotty’s shoulder and, for the first time in twenty years, he sees Jason again. Older, but still very attractive… The camera pans to his husband to be.
“Oh, my God! Is that Chad Barry? The actor? I had sex with him a few times.” Scotty turns to look at Kevin.
“Is there someone Chad didn’t
sleep with?” He wonders out loud.
“Not that I know of. He slept with most guys Jason and I knew. But Jason didn’t particularly like him way back then… Guess something changed through the years.” Kevin shrugs. He doesn’t even bother to hide his contempt for Chad.
“Chad isn’t marrying Jason out of love.” Scotty says and, as the words leave his lips, he wonders how much of these words is just pure jealousy.
“I’m not surprised. Chad is incapable of loving someone. He’s someone who uses others for his own pleasure.
You’d be a fool think that he could love anyone for who they are. I know he’s an actor, but if you believe that he some knight in shining armor, forget it. He’s just a worthless…”
“Alright! I got it!” Scotty jumps up. “I know it by now! I was stupid enough to give my heart to someone who just thought of me as a nice ass to fuck. Stupid me! I hope that Chad and Jason’s money will be extremely happy together. May they choke on each other!”
Scotty angrily leaves the kitchen and slams the door behind him, leaving Kevin wondering what that was all about. For a few seconds he sits there motionless, not sure what to do, but then he slowly gets up, so he can search for Scotty.
He finds Scotty in his room, crying and he sits down next to Scotty, his keeps his hands in his lap, not daring to touch Scotty.
“Were you in love with Chad?”
“It’s why I got sent here. To get away from it all.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that. I mean, I didn’t know it was Chad. If I had known, I would never have…”
“...Told the truth about him? Don’t spare me. It’s not like I don’t know that I was a fool to believe him, but …” Scotty shrugs.
“… It still hurts like hell?” Kevin offers. Scotty nods dumbly. “I know… Jase and I broke up 20 years ago. It’s not like I have anything better to offer than Chad has, or that I even have any right to put a claim on him… but, seeing him… And he looks so happy. It hurts.”
Scotty looks at Kevin, suddenly feeling a bit selfish.
“I’m sorry… I was so focused on Chad getting married that I forgot that the man he’s getting married to used to be your ex-fiancé.”
“You knew about that, huh?”
“Justin hates his guts.”
“He hurt you. Justin never forgave him.” Scotty replies, suddenly feeling extremely tired. Kevin can see it as well.
“Are you okay?” He asks. Scotty shakes his head and Kevin feels awkward. He can see that Scotty is hurt, but he doesn’t know what to do. Hesitantly he lifts his hand and places it on Scotty’s shoulder. When Scotty doesn’t shrug him off, he carefully lets his hand slide down Scotty’s back.
“It will be alright, I promise. You’ll get through it…. Eventually!” He adds with a smile in his voice.
“Yeah, in twenty years or so?” Scotty jokes sadly. “I somehow don’t feel better…”
“You know what we should do?”
“What?” Scotty asks.
“Not a good idea. You may be using less pills, I still don’t think it’s a good idea to use them in combination with alcohol.” Scotty sighs.
“I don’t care. I haven’t been drunk in 20 years, but you
, you need to get drunk and really puke out your heart and lungs tomorrow-morning, together with the rest of your misery, so you can forget about Chad…”
“Like you forgot about Jason?….”
“Ouch! Unfair!” Kevin teases.
“Getting drunk doesn’t sound bad though.” Scotty shrugs. “Come on… I know where Dryden stashed the wine…”
“Now we’re talking….” Kevin helps him get up.
“This wine is reallllllllyyy good…” Scotty slurs.
“Ain’t it?” Kevin’s voice isn’t much better. “It really just rollllllls down your tongue and ….”
“….Straight down!” Scotty raises his glass in a toast, making them both giggle.
There are several empty bottles on the table, though in all honesty not all of the wine is inside Scotty and Kevin. The last few rounds Scotty’s hand has been less than stable and a lot of wine has ended up on the table, not that Kevin and Scotty are grieving over it. There’s plenty of wine in the cellar, so all they have to do is just open another bottle.
“You know why he really left me?” Kevin suddenly says.
“Jasssson? … No… Why?”
“He couldn’t play with my cock anymore.”
“Huh?” Scotty lifts his head a bit.
“Impotent. Me.” Kevin explains. “And Jason couldn’t live with that… Couldn’t live with my not being enough of a man to satisfy his needs.” In his heart Scotty feels that this is perhaps too much information, that it is just none of his business, but his brains has gone too numb to give a suitable reply.
“O.” It’s all his brains can master.
“Yup. I couldn’t get it up anymore, instead of…” He makes his finger stand up straight. “... it just stayed, pheeeeeew.” His wrist goes all limb, his finger hanging down. Scotty can’t help it. It looks incredibly funny to him and he bursts out in laughter.
“Sss..ssorry, it’s not funny, I know, I just… it looks so ridiculous.” Scotty tries to apologize while tears of laughter run down his face.
“Don’t worry. I can laugh over it now as well.” Kevin says, somehow glad that he managed to make Scotty laugh, even if it is at his own expense.
“Bottle is empty.” Kevin concludes after holding the bottle upside down over Scotty’s glass, getting nothing more but a few drops.
“I’ll get you another bottle.” Scotty tries to get up, but the whole kitchen won’t stop moving. “Orrrrrr maybe not…. I think I’m drunk.”
“I’m pretty sure of that.” Kevin says dryly. “You know what? Maybe it’s time we go upstairs and get some sleep…”
“If I manage to get all the way up there…”
“I’ll help you…” Kevin gets up, or at least attempts to, but his legs aren’t cooperating.
“A lot of good that will do me.” Scotty grins.
“We’ll manage….” Kevin promises. It takes a while but eventually they reach Kevin’s room. Scotty brings Kevin to his room first, and turns to go to his own room, but upon reaching the door he sees how Kevin struggles with the buttons of his shirt.
“Here, let me help you.” He goes back to Kevin, both of them are still unsteady on their legs. He manages to open the first few buttons. Kevin remains quiet, not protesting Scotty’s efforts. Instead, he lifts his hands to grab Scotty’s shirt.
“Stay tonight.” It’s more than a question, it’s almost as if he begs for it.
“Don’t worry. I’m not … making some indecent proposal… like I said, it’s not like I… can do
something with you… I just… I don’t want to be alone… Not tonight…” His hands cup Scotty’s face. “Don’t leave me alone… Please.”
Scotty let his head rest against Kevin’s. The pain in Kevin’s voice cuts through him and he cannot remember ever having felt more alone as well.
“I’ll stay with you.” He replies.
“Come…” Kevin takes his hands and guides him to the bed.
He’s the first to lie down and, after a few seconds of hesitation, Scotty joins him. Kevin’s bed is comfortable and there’s something to lying in Kevin’s arms that feels like being under an warm blanket.
“I loved him. Chad, I mean.” Scotty sobs in the dark.
Kevin caresses Scotty’s hair soothingly.
“I know. I loved Jason too. But… they have moved on… without us… And we, … or rather you
should do the same.”
“Why me, and not you?” Scotty asks. “Shouldn’t you move on too?”
“Who’d want me
? Disfigured. Broken. A wreck… I’m dead already, all I have to do just die and get it over with, but you
… you still have your whole life in front of you…You’re smart and handsome and funny and sweet. You’re an amazing young man and you deserve someone much better than Chad… One day this will be all just a bad dream.”
“I don’t want to leave you…”
“You’ll have to. For me… Promise me that you won’t hide yourself in here forever and throw away your life… I had no choice, but you do.”
“But I can stay here for a while, right?”
“And you’re wrong. You’re amazing too. You’ve been through so much. So much heartache.. And yet, you’re still here.” Scotty says. Kevin laughs cynically.
“I don’t want to die… but I can’t seem to find a reason to live either…” They quietly hold each other in the dark.
“I need you.” Scotty says softly.
“What?” Kevin opens his eyes, taken away from the brink of sleep.
“You need a reason to live? I’ll give you one… I need you..”
“Yes…. Right now, you’re the only good thing in my life.”
Then your life sucks.”
“Tell me about it.” Scotty sighs. He can feel Kevin’s fingers in his hair and it feels good. He places a little kiss on Kevin’s shoulder.
“Thank you.” Kevin says.
“For that little kiss. So sweet.”
“Got more of them.”
“Fishing for more?” Scotty asks teasingly.
“It won’t do me any good… Remember?”
“I still wouldn’t mind kissing you…” Scotty places a few more kisses on Kevin’s shoulder, letting his fingers slide over Kevin’s chest. Kevin grabs his wrist.
“I’m not dead. I need to feel… something…
” In the darkness of the room Kevin stares at where the ceiling should be if he could see it. He knows that Scotty is drunk and that he might regret things in the morning… And he doesn’t want to take advantage of Scotty’s inebriated state, but the kisses had been so sweet and so needy…
Kevin closes his eyes tightly. He used to be good at this. He used to be able to make Jason scream with hunger for release… He takes off his veil that would limit his freedom. He shifts a bit so he can touch Scotty more easily.
“Really?” Kevin asks. “Just pretend I’m someone else then...”
His thumbs slide over Scotty’s lips and he feels them part. It’s been too long since he’s kissed someone and he hopes that Scotty won’t mind. But the moment Kevin’s lips touch Scotty’s, Scotty wraps his arms around Kevin, sucks in his tongue and his hands push Kevin to make the kiss even more intimate.
Kevin’s hands move down and Scotty moans under the touch. Kevin places one hand under Scotty’s head to push him to stay locked in their kiss. His other hand doesn’t waste time, but slides right between Scotty’s legs. Scotty moans even louder into kiss. His body moves up to Kevin’s hand.
Scotty eagerly pushes down his clothes to give Kevin access to his hard cock and when Kevin finally takes it in his hand, Scotty sucks in Kevin’s tongue again as if trying to convey how much he wants this. Kevin brutally breaks the kiss.
“Show me how hard you like it.” He orders before capturing Scotty’s mouth again.
Scotty’s hand covers Kevin’s and quickly enough his entire body responds to Kevin’s strong touch. Scotty writhes and wiggles, moans even more, as he tries to crawl even closer against Kevin. He begs for more and Kevin is amazed that he can still get this reaction out of a man after all these years.
“Please, don’t stop. Please…..” Scotty nearly cries now that he’s this close to coming. Kevin breaks the kiss, focuses on satisfying Scotty’s need and just as he hears Scotty breathe with little shocks, his mouth covers Scotty’s, depriving him of the last bit of oxygen and it sends Scotty over the edge.
For the first time in twenty years, Kevin can feel a man come all over his hand again and he’s shocked, but also happy to still be able to do this. Scotty turns away in a desperate attempt to catch his breath again and Kevin can hear his sighs of relief. He cleans his hand on the sheets and gently caresses Scotty’s belly.
Scotty’s body shocks under the first touches, but then he slowly relaxes, his breathing slows down and becomes very calm and deep and Kevin knows that Scotty has fallen asleep from exhaustion, satisfaction and too much wine. He turns over to his back and he lets his hand slide down his own body. Nothing has happened to him as he satisfied Scotty.
Tears fill his eyes as he feels his still flaccid penis between his hands. That will never change, he supposes. He has enough self-control to not cry, but it doesn’t make the pain any less. In the dark his hands search for his veil. He wouldn’t want Scotty to see his face in the morning and get the shock of his life..
With the veil safely back in place Kevin can finally relax as well. He turns over to Scotty and snuggles up closer to that warm body next to him. Why should he not enjoy the feel of having this beautiful young man in his bed, even if it’s only for one night? He closes his eyes and soon enough his calm breathing matches Scotty’s.
Kevin is the first one who’s out of bed the next morning and the loss of that warm body pressed up against his own, wakes up Scotty.
“Kev?” Kevin enters the room again, coming out of his own little bathroom. “Did I misbehave terribly last night?” Scotty asks.
“No. You were just own perfect little self.” Kevin answers.
“That bad, huh?” Scotty shakes his head. “About last night… about what happened between us…?”
“Forget it. I liked taking care of your needs for a change.…” Kevin replies with a grin.
“Fair enough.” Scotty replies. “And I’m going to take your advice too…”
“Puke!” Scotty runs off to the small bathroom.
END OF CHAPTER EIGHT