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welcome to my fantasies
Fanfic: Behind the mask 07/? 
14th-Jul-2012 10:03 pm
quote: love people
Behind the mask 07/?

By Marea67
About: Kevin/Scotty and others.
Rate: It will have NC-17 at some point.
Summary: When Scotty has to deal with too many disasters at once, William offers him a solution that will change his life




“Kev, what are you doing here? Didn’t you like it upstairs?” Scotty asks, when Kevin enters the bedroom that Scotty is cleaning...
“I … I wanted to talk to my dad…But… I got a hold of Justin instead… He… He told me that….” Kevin’s voice breaks.

“What did he tell you?” Scotty asks concerned.
“He told me… that … Jase is getting married. This weekend.”

“Jason McCallister. He’s getting married this weekend. I.. I didn’t know that.” Kevin says and his voice sounds defeated. Scotty feels numb. So, this is it. This weekend Chad will become Jason’s husband and everything will be permanently over.
“I want to be alone.” Kevin says. His voice is hoarse.

“Kevin, maybe….”
“Please, leave me.” It’s as close to an order Kevin can get without yelling at him, so Scotty nods and leaves the room. Kevin sinks down on the bed. His good mood of this morning has gone and he feels sick.

Jason. Jason is getting married. To someone else. Naturally. Why shouldn’t he? It wasn’t like he was still Kevin’s boyfriend. They hadn’t spoken to each other in nearly 20 years, so the feeling of betrayal is not logical, but it’s there nonetheless. There’s a side-effect to no longer being numb with medication, you start to feel again.

And it seems as if, for the first in time in years, all of it comes flooding back to Kevin. Not just his own pain, but also Jason’s pain. In his head, he knows that Jason and he had made the only available choice. It had been just inevitable that they should break up. He would have never wanted Jason to be tied up forever to  a man as useless as he is.

But in his heart, he still feels like Jason ripped his heart out, stomped on it and left it on the floor for everyone else to walk over it. … Kevin lies down, he wraps his arms around his pillow and he lets the memories come back to him… Now that he can feel them again, he will have no choice by to deal with them.


It’s quiet in the house, which in itself is almost a miracle. The entire family is gathering for the wedding and although Robert’s house, where Jason’s also lives, is big enough, in Jason's mind, his entire family has all moved into his room instead of Robert’s house.

But tonight everyone’s is in church, which gives Jason, who feigned a head-ache, a little time to himself. A little time to reorganize his thoughts. J

ason sits down behind his desk and takes out a small box. He hasn’t looked at the content in too many years, but tonight he yearned for some time to have a look at it in private. He takes the lid off the box and he does it so carefully as if it’s made out of delicate paper instead of sturdy wood.

He swallows hard and takes a deep breath. Beautiful blue eyes, a smiling face, a laughter that could brighten your day…. Kevin… Immediately there’s a tear hanging on Jason’s eyelashes. It’s been so long, yet that picture still touches him whenever he sees it. There are some letters in the box as well.

Little ‘I love you’s written in Kevin’s beautiful handwriting. On the bottom of the box, Jason sees two rings. His and Kevin’s. Their engagement rings. Kevin had given his back to Jason when they broke up. Suddenly Jason’s can’t hold back a little sob. He’s so lost in his pain, that all these little reminders of Kevin bring him, that he doesn’t hear the little knock on his door.

Robert enters anyway, only to find his little brother crying like a baby. He doesn’t have to guess the reason for this sudden outburst. He takes a chair and sits down next to Jason.
“Jase… If you’re not ready..”
“Stop it, Robert! I’m not cancelling the wedding! I’m going to marry Chad!”

Jason’s anger mixed with his tears of pain, makes Robert raise his hands in surrender.
“What’s going on with you? Jason, please, explain it to me.” Robert begs.
“Nothing. I was just … I needed to see … I needed to see Kevin… be reminded of him, hold his ring in my hand. Remind myself that he was real. That he loved me once.”

“I’m not going to ask you to cancel your wedding, but can you at least explain to me why you ever broke up with Kevin, if you still love him so much, that he effects you like this, even though you haven’t seen him in 20 years?”
“We had to. The break up. It was inevitable.”

“Because of his face?”
“Because of everything… I was so insecure. I didn’t think I could love him enough to stay with him. I also couldn’t deal with how he looked. His face all ruined… He had turned into something hideous to a point where I could no longer see Kevin.. but only the scars on his ruined face. I had to quit.”

“Did you break up with him?”
“It was a mutual decision.” Jason says stubbornly.
“One of you had to have come up with the idea.”
“We both thought the same way about it.”

“Come on, Jason! I never betrayed any of your secrets to anyone. Can’t you have faith in me? You two were so much in love. You were never happier than the during your relationship with Kevin. I can still remember when you came in here, telling me that Kevin had proposed to you. You were shining so brightly that I had to put on my sun-glasses!

Then Kevin gets a terrible accident and for two, three months I watch you and Kevin fight so hard to survive. You both try so hard to see each other as much as possible. You work so hard on accepting Kevin, even though he’s disfigured and even though he isn’t easy to live with at times.

And suddenly both of you decide simultaneously to pull the plug on a relationship of nearly 2 years? A relationship that brought both of you so much happiness? … Talk to me, Jason. Maybe it will help if you confide in someone for a change.” He can see Jason struggle with his feelings, so he waits.

“Alright…. We both knew … we couldn’t go on when… Kevin and I, we tried. We tried to get that old feeling back. The love, the care, the … whatever… it was that we lost when Kevin… had his accident…” Jason’s eyes fill with tears. “Robert, what I’m about to tell you, William or the other Walkers cannot be told.

Kevin told me, because it was … important for me to know… He would die of embarrassment if ever anyone would find out that….” Jason stops mid-sentence and Robert wants to shake him so hard and yell at him speak up, but he only bites his lower lip and he waits for Jason to come to terms with whatever is in his head.

“We…” Jason starts, then he stops and searches for words. “I had quite some issues with Kevin’s face. I couldn’t get past how awful it all looked. I tried to hide my feelings, but Kevin could read me like a comic-book, two pages at a time. I couldn’t hide anything from him.

I just felt revolted whenever I had to kiss him or just touch his face. At first there the bandages and the blood and then the cuts and everything. But I felt I owed to Kevin to stand by him. So, I tried to get over it and we tried to be slightly more intimate…. It didn’t work… Nothing happened…”

“Nothing happened?”
“With Kevin… He couldn’t … We couldn’t …. I didn’t have the same effect on him anymore?” Jason looks up at Robert and he’s mortified. Robert doesn’t get it. “Kevin didn’t get aroused? Not at all?” Jason tries to explain in more detail.

“Oh, my God!... But… that wouldn’t have had to be a permanent condition?”
“Considering the bad state that Kevin was in, emotionally and physically? The doctor said that he didn’t believe that there would be a chance in Kevin’s condition any time soon.”
“So you gave him up, because Kevin was impotent?” Robert can’t help but sound disappointed.

Jason sighs as if a terrible burden has been lifted from his shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Robert, but I was hardly nineteen years old. Kevin and I… we were always good, sexually. I couldn’t see it… I couldn’t see a life without it…. Not on top of everything else that we had lost…”

“And so you broke up with him?”
“Not exactly… When the doctor had told us the truth, we were both crushed and we both went our separate ways to deal with this bit of news and … when I came back… Kevin said that there we shouldn’t postpone the inevitable…

I said, I agreed that we should cancel our engagement and also our wedding-plans. And Kevin asked if I was sure that we should break up… and I said yes… He told me to leave. And I left…” Jason rubs his eyes. “I left him, Robert… I just walked out… I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore… It hurt so much. All we ever wanted, all our dreams, gone… There was nothing left of anything we had once wanted….”

“Jason,…” Robert tries to reach out to Jason, but Jason shakes his hand away and turns to him.
“I was a kid who was living in a dream-world and when the bubble burst I couldn’t deal with it. I shouldn’t have walked out on Kevin. I shouldn’t have abandoned him. I should have stayed with him, no matter how our lives would have been… Now, it’s too late.”
“It’s not. You can still talk to him…. Apologize… Maybe even rekindle something?”

Jason however shakes his head.
“My marriage is this weekend, Robert. Like it or not, I’m marrying Chad. I’m not walking away from a difficult choice again. My life with Chad won’t be perfect, but I know what I’m doing this time…” Jason shrugs.

Robert closes his eyes, never closer to wanting to strangle Jason. It all makes no sense to him and he’s incredibly annoyed that Jason cannot seem to master enough understanding to see the difference between walking out on Kevin and leaving Chad. And he wonders if perhaps he should just give up trying to stop Jason from marrying Chad…


Scotty sits down at the kitchen table. So, after this weekend, it will be all be over. Chad will never be his again. He knows it’s silly, but he had day-dreamed about Chad showing up, telling him how much he’s in love with Scotty and how he can’t live without him. They’d make love all night long. And he’d be getting married to Scotty, instead of Jason.

But after this weekend, … no more dreams. Panic washes over Scotty. There will nothing left. He rubs his face and he’s shocked by the finality of his own , but it's the awful truth that he hadn't thought of.  If Chad marries Jason, it’s the end of everything, because Scotty will never be ‘the other guy’ again.


Kevin lies down on his back and tries to remember all that happened that fateful day, 20 years ago. First thing that Kevin remembers is how the ground just seemed to vanish from underneath him. Impotent! He is only eighteen! He would have his nineteenth birthday next month! These things don’t happen! They cannot happen!

He can no longer hear what the doctor says. The second thing is the look on Jason’s face. Jason is equally stunned by the doctor. Once finished with his verdict – because that’s how it felt like to Kevin, a death-sentence – the doctor leaves them alone and by some unspoken agreement Jason leaves the room momentarily, while Kevin tries to get his mind organized.

Panic, anger, frustration course through him, but he ends up with one feeling. Stupidly, he feels that it won’t make a difference. Jason and he love each other and that’s it. They will get through this. Sure, he’s damaged, confused and he can understand it’s most likely a consequence of the psychological shock, that his body doesn’t function as it should, but it will go away. Eventually. Hopefully.

More than ever he feels the need to marry Jason, as if being with Jason will fix all his problems. Somewhere deep inside, he knows that he’s ignoring the obvious. All he can think of is that they need to get their engagement back on track and move on with their plans to get married…

He ignores the nagging feeling that he’s clutching at straws. Then Jason comes back in and he’s very pale. They know each other so well… Or at least, that’s what Kevin thought.

“I don’t think we should postpone the inevitable.” Kevin remembers saying. He can see Jason nod.
“I agree. We should cancel everything…” The words are spoken so softly, but to Kevin the worlds stops turning.




Chad nervously waits for it all to start. Today’s the day. The big wedding-day that all the paparazzi have been waiting for. Robert enters his room without even bothering to knock, but Chad can’t be too offended.
“Are you ready?” Robert asks.

“Yes, I am.” Chad’s stomach flutters.
“Chad… I hope that you and Jason will have a great day.” Robert says and Chad gives him a bewildered look.
“T… Thank you.” He replies flabbergasted. Robert smiles and leaves again.

Once outside the door, Robert’s smile vanishes and he whispers between clenched teeth.
“Have a great day, Chad, because I’m going to make your life a living hell at every opportunity I get..” He enters Jason’s room.
“How do I look?” Jason asks.

“Very good… Very happy.” Robert adds.
“I am… Robert, thank you for listening to me the other day. You were right, I needed to talk about Kevin, get it off my chest. I’m finally ready to make this work. Chad and I are going to have the perfect relationship…”

Robert watches the smile on Jason’s face and he knows that Jason’s only fooling himself. Yet, he replies with the same fake smile.
“I’m sure you will… I think, I can hear the music starting to play… Showtime! Let’s get you married.” Robert waves at the door that will lead Jason to the church.


14th-Jul-2012 08:28 pm (UTC)
Aww - that's such a sad chapter - to could have cried over that memory - poor Kevin thinking they should get married straight away and Jason thinking the complete opposite.

Hoping for some gate crashing at least I was until the memory - Chad and Jason deserve each other at this point.

Oh, and poor Scotty as well - such a miserable situation for all
14th-Jul-2012 08:36 pm (UTC)
All I can say is: You can't have rainbows without the rain... ;)
14th-Jul-2012 08:54 pm (UTC)
I love that - feeling slightly sorry for myself right now so going to try being positive - the rainbow will come eventually :)
14th-Jul-2012 08:58 pm (UTC)
I hope it will even be a beautiful one, I love rainbows. :)
14th-Jul-2012 08:30 pm (UTC)
OMG Kevin forget about Jason!! You have Scotty right here and you cry for Jason? And Scotty forget about Chad too! Ouch! Can't stand Jason and Chad they always mess up everything :)

I'm sure Scotty would not mind the scars, after all he find them sexy and Kevin definitely would resolve his "problem" if he makes love with Scotty. Please, please, you're killing us, let the boys start their romance and send Jason and Chad to a desert island for their honeymoon, one island so far away that they can't come back.

Thank you for writing!! Still loving this story a lot!

14th-Jul-2012 08:39 pm (UTC)
No worse nemesis than Chad and Jason, huh? But they are SO GOOD at it! :)

A desert island? Mhmm, I thought about tickets for the Titanic,... but a deserted island would do too... :)
14th-Jul-2012 08:31 pm (UTC)
Honestly how Rude can you get oye ? You make kevin and Scotty Cry in seprate rooms :( Tut-Tut and am suppose to wait till tomorrow or when ever when they actually talk:(
Ps - Kevin's Erection problems intresting Rofl...

Also Pretty please write Longer Chapters wit lot of K/S, i will learn and bake you Scotty's Cupcakes :)

Edited at 2012-07-14 08:33 pm (UTC)
14th-Jul-2012 08:34 pm (UTC)
Kevin's Erection problems intresting Rofl...
I wonder WHAT gave me the idea! :D
14th-Jul-2012 08:40 pm (UTC)
Rofl, I read it i was like Oh my god she is not going there :) ..
But really you are a Devil now , i need More of the Adorable story..Sigh cant even hack you computer as its all in your brain :) Can i borrow your brain for a day or may be i should try telepathy and try and read your brain :).. Am Super excited abt this story..............
14th-Jul-2012 09:00 pm (UTC)
Trust me, you DO NOT want to spend time in my brains. They are more annoying than Kevin's brains! ;D
14th-Jul-2012 09:34 pm (UTC)
:( You are telling me Kevin's Brain is saner compared to mine :)So now am more excited to know what happens in ur brain Soul Sista :)
Complicated Brains are Yummy feck i sound lik a Cannibal ..
14th-Jul-2012 08:53 pm (UTC)
Haha - all Luke's fault then

I doubt that a day would be long enough in her mind yinyang - telepathy is your best shot
14th-Jul-2012 10:05 pm (UTC)
:) It indeed is Luke fault to make Marea67 watch the movie, and she in turns gives eMM Erection problems to Kevy :)..

Btw i did try to do a course on Telepathy for Real.. Gee my teacher was DODGYYY...
14th-Jul-2012 08:44 pm (UTC)
Oh God! All this chapter is so heartbreaking!

Come on, let Kevin & Scotty comfort each other! Pleaaase!!!:)

Have a great day, Chad, because I’m going to make your life a living hell at every opportunity I get..”
Oh oh! That's...interesting! I'm curious about that........

Great part!
Looking forward the next one!
Thanks for writing!
14th-Jul-2012 09:01 pm (UTC)
Well, they are about to lose the loves of their lives and they don't know what Jason's and Chad's real feelings are... ;)
14th-Jul-2012 08:54 pm (UTC)
I am not a crier, I seldom cry and I NEVER cried a tear reading anything... but this... somehow it got to me.

Jason and Kevin splitting up was a HUGE misunderstanding. I wonder what happens when they find out about that.
Poor Scotty he is so hurt over Chad.

If Chad is this big movie star and the McCallister family is famous too, maybe they will show the wedding on TV? Kevin and Scotty can watch it together and comfort each other which leads to... oh never mind :) you know very well, what could happen between them :)

Thank you, I mean it...
14th-Jul-2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
Awww, thanks. I wanted it to be heart-breaking! It will make the sweetness sweeter!
14th-Jul-2012 09:19 pm (UTC)
that's true :)

of friend of mine always said something like this: After the rain comes the sunshine and that sunshine brings out love. :) I guess she was right :)
19th-Aug-2012 10:45 pm (UTC)
This story is really beautiful and that doesn't surprise me at all, all your stories are fantastic. I love your characters, they're so very human it's beautiful. I adore Kevin (and I want to castrate that Drysten guy so hard)and i love Scotty. I want to bitch slap Jason so bad though LOL. I can't help but be sad for Chad, he seems so lonely and being call a whore every single day must be really hard for him. I want to hug him XD. So now i'm going back to reading ^^
20th-Aug-2012 02:56 pm (UTC)
I'm sure that Chad would appreciate the hug, he IS very lonely. :) Thanks for liking the story, hope you have fun catching up to the other chapters. :)
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