About: Scotty (from his Point of view)
Disclaimer: B&S isn’t mine. Written for fun, not money
Summary: Season 1. Kevin may be out of his life, he’s not out of Scotty’s system
Written for: love-bingo
I’m acting like a spoilt child and I know it. It’s not that Michael isn’t a great guy. He’s nice, charming, great sense of humor, good taste in clothes, hygienic (never under-estimate the importance of good hygiene!) and he’s not bad between the sheets either, but… drum-roll!… he’s not Kevin.
I sigh. I broke up with Kevin 4 months ago. I should be over it now. Kevin and Scotty = not meant to be. Ever. Deal with it!
“Michael, I’m very sorry. It’s not you.. it’s me…” God, Scotty, could you possibly be more cliché?
“I thought you really liked me?” Alright, Scotty, be honest. It’s not like Michael and I could not work… but I just don’t care if it could or couldn’t. I don’t want it.
“I do. I really do. It’s just….” … I’d rather have hot sex with my ex.... Though it probably sums up exactly how I feel, I can’t say that, Not straight to his face. He’s way too kind.
“Any man would be so lucky to have you,…” I try to soften the blow. He looks at me. Disbelief. “No really.” I put some extra effort in my smile.
“Then why are you breaking up with me?” Okay, try and sweet-talk yourself out of that one, buddy!
“It’s not there. That feeling… the one that tells you that you’re in love…?.” Oh, Scotty, stop reading Michelle’s Harlequin-novels for crying out loud!
“I just thought… I really looked forward to tonight. I bought wine, cheese…” Michael protests softly.
Lube. Condoms. Don’t forget, more condoms.
“I’m sorry, …” I start to say, but I can’t help it that a feeling grows inside me. Why should I actually spend another lonely night in a cold bed, hugging my pillow, pining over Kevin, who’s completely out of my league and out of my life?
Why couldn’t I just have one last round of good, old, hot sex with someone who was good enough to make me see stars… even if it doesn’t come with the usual sun, moon and fire-works, that I’d grown accustomed to when I was with Kevin. I may not be in love with him, I’m not exactly dead either.
“Maybe we could…?” I start, not exactly sure what it is I’m willing to offer. Meaningless break up sex? Is that where I’ve come to? Ah, but it’s supposed to be better than the alternative, don’t forget that…. Is it better? … He kisses me… I let him… His hands move over my body… I try to return the favor.
He gets turned on…. I don’t… Oh, come on, Scotty! He’s not that bad. I close my eyes, reply to the kiss, concentrate on Michael, but I end up of thinking of Kevin,… Yes, that works.
“I knew I could still turn you on.” Michael whispers in my ear. I moan something that could mean that I agree, which I don’t. I just want him to shut up and have sex with me.
Two hours later I step into my cold bed, hug my pillow and try not to think of Kevin. I fail. Michael had done the best he could, but if the feeling wasn’t there before, it certainly wasn’t there by the time he was done and, in the end, I’m sure of three things. I’ll never see Michael again. I’ll never have break-up sex again. And, worst, I’m not over Kevin yet.