The 39 steps
August 20, 2008
It’s 39 days to go until the start of season 3 in America.
There are 39 episodes for season 1 and 2. (Not taking the unaired episode in account or the original pilot, as not everybody can see those)
I started to watch the episodes again. One episode a day.
And then I got the plan to write a small scene for every episode. (Never more than 1 page long)
1.18 Three parties
Disclaimer: B&S doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: Chad. Oh, poor Chad.
Kevin says “No, we cannot.” and he sighs, then he walks away and Chad watches him leave. He quickly closes the door behind him. He turns off the lights and goes into his bedroom, where he sits down on the bed. He feels like he’s been holding his breath from the moment Kevin walked away, but now he dares to breathe and with that comes the pain, with that comes the release of the tension he’s carried with him all day.
He went in to find Donald and tell him. As usual Donald tries to persuade him NOT to come out of the closet. Think about your career, your fans. Yeah sure! More like: Think about my money. But he told Donald he would go through with it. With or without him. So Donald had tried another approach. Think about Kevin. What will it do to him? He’s a lawyer. He’ll be on the front page of every magazine. You are a star, he’s not. He doesn’t need this. Do you really want to put him through this? You could destroy his life, his career. He’d hate you.
He laughed at Donald. He knew Kevin. Kevin would support him and then Donald played his last card. He told Chad about his meeting with Kevin. It hurt Chad that Kevin hadn’t told him the truth, but their argument this afternoon had been good. Kevin told him some things he didn’t want to hear before. And after Kevin left, he had evaluated the conversation. Kevin had been right. He had been playing ‘peek-a-boo’ for too long. It was his life. And it was about time that he became who he had to be. No more “faux crises”!
He had carefully weighed every word for the letter on his fan-page. He had reconsidered his posting it, or not, a thousand times, before hitting the ‘enter’-button. He watched the screen go black, as his message was sent. This would be the end of his career, he knew it. And he watched the initial reactions and he can imagine the gossip-rags following his every move and suddenly he panics. For Donald was right. This will not only affect him, but also Kevin.
He doesn’t want Kevin implicated in this. He needs to protect Kevin. And the only way he can think of to do that, is by breaking up with him. It hurts him so deep, but he has no choice. He has to stay away from Kevin and do this alone. So tonight he gave the greatest performance of his life. And not a single critic in sight. He played his part, so well rehearsed. He had not counted on the pain in Kevin’s eyes. But he didn’t lose control in front of Kevin.
But it hurts! God, it hurts! A part of him hopes that Kevin will wait, but he’s sure, that will not be the case. He wants to call Kevin and beg
him to come back, but he knows he can’t. His breathing becomes a sobbing sound. His eyes fill with tears and he hides his face in the pillow and cries. For he finally told the truth about himself, but he has lost the man, he fell in love with, in the process. He has lost a love he cannot ever capture again.