marea67 (marea67) wrote,

39 steps - step 24 - 1.16 the other Walker

1.16 The other Walker
By Marea67
About: Saul/Kevin
Rate: G
Disclaimer: B&S doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary:Kevin and Saul each have their own thoughts after their argument, because Saul told Nora about Rebecca.
Kevin is still fuming as he gets in his car. The phone call from his mother left him devastated, she was so angry at him. She was so hurt. And nothing that Saul could have said, could erase the pain in her voice, still resonating in Kevin’s head. And he cannot understand why she’s so mad at him. He didn’t really want to keep it a secret, but saw no good in telling her either. He hadn’t really thought it over and just felt that, right now, the best course of action would be to do nothing at all.

Perhaps with a little more time to think about it, he could have changed his mind, and come up with a good case to get Sarah and Tommy to join him and they would have told Nora the truth together. What irritated him, was that Saul made this decision, to tell Nora, alone and that it made Sarah, Tommy and him look as if they were scheming behind Nora’s back.

But with his initial anger fading, concern slips in. What about Justin? What will he do once he finds out? And how will Kitty react? Tommy, Sarah and he are over the shock, but how long will it take them? And his mother? Nora was so hurt by William’s betrayal, how will she cope with the fact that the betrayal left some visible evidence?
He wishes he could talk to someone other than his family. It doesn’t cross his mind to call Chad. He does wish however, that he would dare to call Scotty. It had always amazed him level-headed Scotty could be. Scotty would listen to him.  He shouldn’t think about Scotty. No one has to know how lonely he really feels, even when he is with Chad. He sighs... It is his secret.


Saul sinks back on the couch. He had been worried about his words all day. And seeing Kevin so angry, hurt him. He loved Kevin very much. And, for reasons he would never speak of, he admired Kevin’s courage to be who he is. And to see that he hurt Kevin … that was not what he wanted. He just wanted to be honest with Nora. He already held back so many things when William was still alive. He just wanted an end to all the secrets….

When he told Nora the truth he didn’t consider the ramifications. It was only when the names of Sarah, Tommy and Kevin were dropped, when Nora insisted that Kitty and Justin should know about Rebecca being their sister, that Saul realized the consequences. This didn’t only affect Nora, it affected her children, it affected him and to lesser extend maybe even Holly. He felt so tired of all the secrets he had to keep. Above all that one secret.

He had carried it with him for more than 40 years. He knows that Holly guessed it a little while back, but it’s alright with her, she’s comfortable with him as he is and he enjoys her company. But, of course, how long will that last? Now that Nora knows the truth, she will be less likely
to accept Holly in his life… He sighs…. He is so tired of all the secrets.…

Tags: character - kevin, character - saul, series - 39 steps

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