marea67 (marea67) wrote,

Fanfic: B&S episode 611: part 2/4

Season 6 – Episode 11 – LOST!

By Marea67
Brothers & Sisters (general)
Rate: Can’t go higher than PG-13, as this is American Television, but I may add a few ‘deleted scenes’ here and there. ;)
Disclaimer: Just escaping from reality here, not created for financial gain
Summary: It is my very own season 6, you guys! Go with it! ;) Don’t complain! If YOU can do better, post your own story! (I dare you!)

***** Part 2/4 ***** 

“I’m so grateful for your help, Justin.” Seth sighs, letting himself fall on the couch. “If you want something to drink, you’ll have to help yourself, because I don’t think I could lift another finger after carrying that desk of mine..”
“Wuss.” Justin jokes, even though he has to admit that it's been some hard work.

Justin takes some water and pours it in a glass and hands a glass to Seth as well. Seth, not having seen what Justin gave him, takes a sip and makes a dirty face.
“That’s water.” Seth says.
“Yes. And it’s healthy and good. Man, you should work on gettting back in shape.”

“What? Why?”
“We only carried that thing in here and you’re wheezing like you’re 70 years old.”
“It’s very heavy.” Seth defends himself.
“Oh, come on, even Kevin is in better shape than you are.”

Seth remains quiet for a few moments, because he has to admit that Justin is right.
“I don’t like sport.”
“Ever been surfing?”
“Don’t know how to.” Seth shrugs.

“Wait! You don’t surf?”
“No. Never.”
“Oh, man, that’s wrong on too many levels. Alright. We can still fix that, you’re not too old for this yet.”

“I’m not?” Seth wonders if he should be really happy about this.
“No. Next Saturday I’m taking you to the beach and I’ll teach you how to surf.”
“You’ll teach me? I don’t have two, but six left feet. I’m so awkward at these things.”
“I taught Rebecca, Scotty and Luc. I can teach you as well.”

Justin’s confidence makes Seth even more insecure.
“Come on. It’s a Walker-thing.”
“What is?” Kitty asks, just hearing Justin’s last words upon entering the room.
“I’m going to teach Seth how to surf.” Justin tells her.

Seth opens his mouth to protest, but Kitty looks at him, shocked.
You don’t know how to surf?” She asks astounded.
“Do you?” He asks in return.
“Of course… Not as good as Sarah or the boys, but I can surf.” She answers.

Seth looks from Justin to Kitty realizing that ‘resistance is futile’.
“Okay, you can try to teach me.” Seth agrees with Justin.
“That is great! Justin is so good at teaching. He even taught dad. And Luc.”
“And Scotty.” Justin adds.

“Oh, right. Scotty too.”
“But, I assume, not Robert.” Seth replies, feeling suddenly a bit jealous.
“No, he already knew how to do it.” Kitty answers casually. “Just a minute, Evan! I’ll be right with you… Sorry, my son is calling me. Be nice.” She warns her boyfriend and her brother.

Justin and Seth watch her leave and Justin turns to Seth.
“Don’t be jealous of Robert or Jason, there were raised to be the ‘typical California boys’. Robert should have been blond. In fact, I remember that Jason was so convinced that he was better at surfing than Kevin, that he challenged Kevin… which he should not have done.”

“Match of the century?”
“Let’s say that Jason went into it slightly overzealous and too self-assured and Kevin had the last laugh." Justin’s little joke, makes Seth laugh.
“I sometimes feel like I’m competing with Robert still.”

“Hey, you survived his kids.” Justin points out and Seth nods.
“Yes, it was a bit hard at first, because I was trying too hard, but I think Sophia and Jack have finally accepted me.”
“So, when are you going to ask Kitty?”

“Ask Kitty what?”
“To marry you.”
“Marry me?”
“She’s expecting your child.”

“Doesn’t mean I should ask her to marry me. She wouldn’t want to.”
“How can you know, if you didn’t ask?” Justin reasons. “Every girl wants to get married, she’s just waiting for you to ask her.”
“You think so?” Seth asks and Justin nods sure of himself.

In his office, Kevin plays with his phone, wondering once again if he should call Tommy or not. It’s been three weeks since Julia left, three weeks since Christmas, three weeks since he got that letter from Tommy.... He opens the letter once more. He’s read so many times by now that he has it memorized.

“Hi Kevin,

I know that I’m about the last person you want to hear from and don't worry, I won’t call you.. But I also know that you’ll look after Elizabeth and Julia and, in order to do so, I’ve decided to give you complete access to my money. Enclosed you’ll find all the codes you need. I’ve had a lawyer draw up some contracts. You can contact him if you have questions.

I know that certain things are perhaps not how it’s ‘usually’ done, but I’ve told Mr Peel that my brother is a lawyer as well. I’ve talked about you so often that, by now, he must believe that you’re some Superman.”

Kevin smiles at the words.

“I’m sorry about a lot, but I know you won’t believe me. That’s alright. Will you at least give my apologies to Scotty?”

Kevin had, but Scotty had merely shrugged. The apology had no meaning to him.

“I don’t know what is wrong with me. I know you. Rationally I know that you would never go out of your way to break up my family, but... I’m so jealous...”.

Kevin remembers that from the time, right after the surgery, after he had escaped from his mother’s house, to run to the Playa de la Paz-hotel, when Tommy had found out that Kevin was having issues with the fact that he was Elizabeth’s biological father.

“What dreams can be so bad that you flee without explanation?” Scotty asks. Kevin knows that escaping the topic is no longer possible.
“They are about Elizabeth…” Kevin says and immediately he can see how Tommy gets defensive.

“I’m really sorry… I’m just trying to figure a few things out….” Kevin tries to smooth things over, but Tommy is already on his guard.
“Uh… What’s to figure out?” He asks and Kevin can’t understand why Tommy has to be so insensitive about it all.

“Well, I know we’re all supposed to pretend that it never happened, but…”
“Excuse me?” Tommy seems to think that Kevin will really not discuss this.
“…I am her biological father, Tommy….” Kevin explains softly, but Tommy is already offended to the core of his very being.

“Oh, my God…I’m out of here….” He says and grabs his coat
“Don’t! Oh, come on…” Kevin sighs but Tommy is gone. Sarah and Justin leave almost as quickly and Scotty and Kevin are left alone to deal, by themselves, with all Kevin’s confused feelings .

Yes, he remembers how jealous and confused Tommy had been. Kitty had tried to explain it to Kevin and though he understood how Tommy (and Kitty) felt, he still considered it unfair towards him. All he had ever wanted to do was help Tommy and Julia, and the ridiculous accusations had been… well,… ridiculous. And then there was that contract that Tommy forced him to sign:

“I agree that I will under no circumstance advice Elizabeth Walker as to her true parentage?” Kevin reads the stipulations in the contract out loud. “You really want me to sign this?” Does Tommy really believe that he would ever tell Elizabeth the truth?

“Well, .. this was always the plan.” Tommy says coldly.
“Plan? Tommy, there was never a plan. You and I jumped into this with blinders on. For there to have been a plan we would have talked about it first, which we’ve never done… ” Kevin reminds Tommy.

“What is there to discuss? I’m just trying to do what is best for Elizabeth…” Tommy clearly gets agitated and Kevin knows that this will lead to a fight, but he talks back anyway.
“Yeah, but this is as if I don’t exist.”

“What did you expect? You want to be her father?” Tommy flings the words at Kevin as if to insult him.
“No, that is not what I’m saying, come on….” Kevin tries.
“THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!! ….” Tommy yells over Kevin’s words:

“(I’m just saying..) It doesn’t have to be like that, Tommy!”
“I’m her father! Whatever dreams or feelings you’re having deal with them. That’s it.” Tommy turns around and walks away, leaving Kevin behind, hurt and confused…and unable to deal with his feelings.

Kevin throws the letter back on the desk. Does Tommy really believe that citing ‘jealousy’ as an excuse will make Kevin feel more forgiving? What is he jealous about in the first place? Tommy had it all. At the time he had Julia, Elizabeth, everyone’s sympathy, while Kevin had to struggle with all his feelings all by himself… and with Scotty's help.

Even now, several years later, Kevin still feels that ache over the fact that Tommy just left him standing there. Not an ounce of compassion or even understanding. Whatever dreams or feelings you’re having deal with them. He had thought that he done just that. His family had just moved on, as if it hadn’t happened, as if nothing had changed.

When eventually Julia left with Elizabeth, it had become even more of a distant feeling. Their lives had moved on. Trying to have a baby, changing careers again, the accident, the restaurant, the loss of their child, the cheating, adopting Olivia, getting Daniel back… it had all helped to keep Kevin focused on his own family.

Until Julia had put Elizabeth right back in the middle of his life and, now, all the pain and confusion is back, full force.
“How am I supposed to deal with my feelings if everyone keeps throwing it back in my face?” Kevin wonders out loud.

“Who are you talking to, bro?” Justin asks, just entering Kevin’s office. Kevin’s turns his chair to look at his brother.
“What are you doing here? “
“I just talked Seth into marrying Kitty, I believe.”

“Ugh! What did you do that for? Kitty won’t accept his proposal. I don’t think she’s ready to get married again, just yet.”
“No, on second thought, neither do I, but it seemed like a good idea. What are you doing?” Justin asks, Kevin gives him Tommy’s letter and Justin quickly reaches the point where Kevin had been interrupted by his own thoughts.

"I cannot explain to you what it does to me. Being this far away from you, I can be rational about it. I know you’re my brother, that you respect my relationship with Elizabeth, that you won’t tell her truth, but … when I see you with Elizabeth, I just get very angry.

I can’t even think of you in terms of ‘favorite uncle’ anymore, because I can see how she is with Justin and it’s just not the same. I can SEE that there’s something drawing you to each other like magnets and I get angry and jealous.

I’ve come to see that Julia was the love of my life. I fell in love with her years ago and that never stopped. I never got over it, but she no longer loves me and I have to accept that as well. I meant to try and talk her into giving me another chance, but I always seem to screw that up somehow and just irritate her more.

So, now I’m giving her her freedom back and I can only hope that she’ll think more kindly of me in a few months. I don’t want her to have access to my money, but if there’s anything that either she or Elizabeth needs, make sure she gets it,  please. I love them both.

I have a lot of thinking to do, a lot of finding out who I am. I know you’re still mad at me and that chose for the family that you have with Scotty and you did the right thing by telling me to get lost. I guess, I really needed that kick in the ass, I guess. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.

I just sold my car, so I have some cash of my own. I travel around by hitch-hiking. You get to hear quite some stories this way. Hopefully I can find out who I am and return to Pasadena as a man everyone can be proud off. I was on the right track when I was in Mexico, but fell back on the old Tommy once I got back.

But I still remember what I learned and this time I’ll try just a little bit harder  to be me.  I know that Scotty and you will keep an eye on Julia and Elizabeth and I’m grateful for that. Tell Elizabeth that I love her and that I will come back whenever she needs me.

Give my love to the family and take good care of Scotty, Olivia and Daniel and also Julia and Elizabeth.

Love. Tommy.”

It’s not like Justin hadn’t read the letter before, but every time he reads again, he finds something that he needs to think about.
“Are you still mad with him?”

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive him?”
“No. Not as long as the doesn’t apologize to Scotty in person. I don’t care what he has said or done to me, but abandoning Scotty the way he did, ... Just seeing Scotty upset, hurt me more than anything he could have done to me personally.”

Justin nods that he understands.
“You were very angry when he left for Mexico, I remember that.”
“He just fled the country, only looking out for his own best interest and to hell with Julia and Elizabeth. To hell with all of us. Ojai. Mom. Sarah. Holly. You. Me.”

“You’re still pissed off about that, aren’t you?”
“Yes… That’s to say… I was worried first, then mad, then I forgave and decided to give him another chance and now… I’m back to being mad as hell. How can you just simply abandon people like this?

We’re his family. Elizabeth is his daughter. How can you simply leave to another part of the country and just … forget? If I have a convention in another town and I’m gone for a week, I worry about Scotty, about my kids, about mom….”
“… Felt the same when I was in Iraq and Afghanistan.” Justin shrugs.

“Exactly! That’s what I mean! Are we this insignificant to him? And even if… Okay, say he’s mad at me. He thinks I’m after Elizabeth… or whatever… Is that a reason for him not to call mom? Or you? Or Sarah? What did any of you ever do to him? Does he even worry about anyone of us? Or even Elizabeth in particular?”

“This is driving you crazy, huh?”
“I don’t know what to do. A part of me just wants to go Seattle, find out where Tommy is, and get him to take his sorry ass back here and take his responsibility and start rasing his child….

And a part of me wants to let him simmer in his own depression, wherever the hell he is. I hope he’s dead…” Kevin can hear Justin gasp. “… Oh, yeah, and then I feel guilty for thinking like that and I hope he’s alright. And that wherever he is, he’s safe….” Kevin rubs his fore-head in frustration.

Kevin can see Justin look at him with sympathy and compassion and it breaks his heart.
“You know, Scotty and I wanted a child so badly…. When we lost Daniel, it nearly destroyed us and our relationship, and then we had Olivia. And Daniel was brought back to us….

Even if I’d be on the other side of the planet, I’d go through hell and back to get back to my kids and back to Scotty and back to my family. And I don’t understand why Tommy doesn’t feel the same about Elizabeth….” Kevin sighs.
“I don’t think any of us can answer that, Kevin.” Justin says, placing his hand on Kevin’s wrist.

“And I wonder… Is it me?”
“Is it because Elizabeth is mine? Would Tommy fight harder, or try better if she’d been yours instead of mine?”

Justin sits back. It had been a long time since he had last seen this feeling of inferiority on Kevin and it used to be put on Kevin by William and Justin hates the fact that Tommy seems to have inherited this aspect of William too, this ability to know exactly how and where to cut Kevin the deepest.


End of part 2/4


Tags: series - season 6

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