About: Scotty, Jason
Disclaimer: B&S belongs to ABC
Summary: Remember how Chad proposed to Jason at the end of "Underneath the mistletoe"? Well, Chad and Jason have set the date for their wedding, but will things go as smoothly as Chad/Jason had hoped?
“I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve been complaining for hours.” Jason apologizes with a sigh.
“Nah, don’t worry.” Scotty replies, he’s actually happy that Jason doesn’t just idly sit there in his kitchen, but actually helps Scotty with chopping up the vegetables for the soup for that evening. “You’re a great help for me.”
“So, you weren’t really listening?” Jason tries to sound offended, but both he and Scotty know that he’s only joking.
“Sorry, did you say something? I wasn’t paying attention…” Scotty immediately replies and Jason throws a carrot at his head, which Scotty catches with surprising ease.
“Alright. That was the last batch…” Scotty rubs his lower back with a painful look on his face. “I need to sit down a bit… Want some coffee?”
“Yes, please, and again, I’m sorry. I guess I just needed to …” Jason stops, wondering why exactly he had come here in the first place.
He could have known that Scotty was alone, because Kevin had agreed to join Chad in his meeting over Chad’s new contract.
“You needed someone who could perhaps relate to how you feel?” Scotty asks and Jason does have to wonder if Scotty could be right.
“I know I shouldn’t let it get to me… Chad is …” Jason searches for the right words. “…Chad is Chad and I know he loves me and I know he wants the very best for me and he wants our wedding-day, commitment ceremony, whatever you want to call it, to be the best, the most beautiful, the most romantic, the most of … well, everything. And I know, I should be flattered and I should appreciate his attempts…”
“Yet you don’t, because you feel that Chad dominates the day.” Scotty continues. Jason opens his mouth to say that Chad doesn’t dominate anything, but he stops. Scotty is right, that seems to be exactly the problem…
“I agree, but I don’t know why.” Jason replies and he looks miserable.
“I can only judge from what you say and how you say it, but it sounds like Chad is really busy with how it will look and not with how it will feel? As if he’s not really busy with the commitment that he’s about to make to you…? And that commitment is exactly what is the most important aspect to you.” Scotty guesses and Jason sighs.
“You’re right. We even haven’t discussed our vows, but he’s ready to pay a mega-amount of money for a couple of suits… Do you remember that school I helped building in Malaysia..?” Jason sees the ‘Well duh!’ look on Scotty’s face and continues: “I could supply the whole school with study-books with the money that Chad wants to spend on the flower-arrangements!
And, by the way, buying books for that school would be a far better idea, than spending it on tons of flowers, that will be dead in two days anyway! It all looks pretty, but it’s rather pointless… Well, it’s his money, I guess. He can with it whatever he wants.”
“Ah, I think we’re getting to the real problem here….?” Scotty says, placing the coffee latte in front of Jason. Jason stirs it, so that he doesn’t have to reply to Scotty’s words straightaway. Jason starts to see why he had subconsciously reached out to Scotty this morning.
“I’m not as broke as you were, when you and Kevin got back together….” Jason replies slightly defensive.
“No. Of course not.” Scotty agrees, withholding a sniping remark that Jason would always be covered financially due to Robert’s smart business-decisions.
“I’m sorry…” Jason immediately says. “I didn’t mean to sound so condescending.” Their eyes meet and Scotty knows that Jason is honest about this, so he waves it away. “But I guess that I can finally see how financial imbalance can make you feel wrong about something. My situation is not as bad as yours was, but…
I don’t feel comfortable with the fact that Chad pays for everything. Even though he loves to buy me everything I could ask for and that he can easily afford it, because he has enough money.
He won’t even notice that the money, that he spends on the wedding-day, is gone. I guess, it just bothers me that he spends it needlessly on things that are just not important to me, or to him, but that need to get bought because ‘it looks pretty on the pictures’. It’s all for his ‘fans’. And that upsets me.
And at the same time, I can recognize what a hypocrite I am, because I know that I would not even have considered marrying him if I had still been a minister. I would held the needs of the congregation, my religion and my church at a higher value than my own happiness. So, who am I to criticize Chad for adjusting his life for others?”
“I thought that, in general, the announcement of your engagement had been well received by his fans?” Scotty asks.
“Oh, yes, the majority just wants him to be happy and I’m not impressed with the minority that writes threatening letters or homophobic slurs…”
“So, why haven’t you talked to Chad? Why don’t you tell him, what you just told me?”
“I can’t. You won’t believe how happy he is that we’re getting married. He keeps telling me that I’m his anchor, that I keep him grounded, that, with me, he finally found the person who he wants to be with…
And I like that.... I like the fact that he’s so much in love with me. I really feel needed and loved and … I don’t want to hurt his feelings, because I know, that he doesn’t do it to show off or because he’s self-centered. He’s just very grateful for his life as it is, for the fans that he has and I think he’s happy with me.
He wants to give it all back to us. Give me a dream-wedding and give his fans, who continued to support him and us, a beautiful insight in what is supposed to be the happiest day of our life. H’s completely aware that he wouldn’t be, where he is today, if it hadn’t been for them. And I accept it, because I agree with him…
But it doesn’t make me feel right about myself, about my lack of investment in all the fancy arrangements or the fact that I feel that this wedding is turning more into a media-circus than a day where two people commit to each other….” Jason sighs. Scotty sighs with him. He can’t see an immediate solutions to this problem, but maybe a second cup of coffee will clear his mind….
END OF PART 1