Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Rainy days are good for reminiscing. Written for love_bingo
The rain outside makes it cold inside and Nora feels restless. She wanders aimlessly through the living-room. The house is clean, the bed-rooms are made up for any guest that walks in, dinner is ready, and.. it still rains. And it isn’t one of those ‘over in a minute’ showers, no, instead it’s one of the saddening, never-ending downpour variety.
She randomly picks a photo-album and looks through it. Was she ever really that young? She smiles as she sees herself back then, her hands covering her big belly. Sarah. That was when she was pregnant with Sarah. Her first time pregnancy. What a fuss it had been and not just because of the question, if the baby was William’s or Brody’s.
She had been sick like a dog. Ida had constantly bickered and whined about her pregnancy and about not being ready to be a grandmother yet. As if Nora had been ready to be a mom! Nora had craved rye bread, which she’d hate under usual circumstances and her mood-swings would have given anyone a whiplash. She grins. It had all been worth it.
She lets her fingers walk along the albums. This. This one has to be Kitty’s. Yes, there. Oh, that awful maternity dress that Ida had bought for her. William had threatened to burn it, if she’d ever wear it again. She sighs. The dress had been hideous, it’s pattern nearly psychedelic, but it had been a comfortable dress to wear.
Oh, Kitty had made her even sicker than Sarah had. For weeks she hadn’t been able to keep any food in and she had felt like a dish-rag. She just wanted to curl up and die!
How different had things been when she got pregnant the third time. She picks up Tommy’s album. Yes, here she had looked radiant. Looking back, she feels like indeed that pregnancy had been better than the others. Easier, almost no morning sickness and, in general, she had been very energetic. She had been like a tornado, until two weeks before Tommy was born….
And then there had been Kevin…. Strawberries. Her craving had been strawberries. Strawberries and milk! By the gallons! She would drink milk all the time, in the morning, in the afternoon and during the tv-shows late in the evenings and still she’d sneak out of bed in the middle of the night and get some more. William hadn’t bothered much about the milk.
But the strawberries…. After Kevin had been born, William had sworn that he never, ever wanted to see one them in his house ever again, so Ida had brought a whole bucket of them, just to annoy him. Nora laughs at the memory of the look on William’s face. But her smile fades as she remembers that this had been a difficult pregnancy.
She had been more afraid of losing of Kevin, than she had been with the other kids. She had nearly been eight months pregnant before she had dared to buy some baby-clothes, so sure was she, that this pregnancy was somehow jinxed. Nora strokes her belly as if she can still feel Kevin there.
“Forget it, Nora.” Nora whispers to herself. “Kevin is fine. He always was, he always will be.” She takes out the last album that has pictures of a pregnant Nora. A lot older, a lot wiser. Justin had been so unexpected. At the time she had seriously wondered if she really wanted him. The news that she was pregnant hadn’t filled her with joy at first.
It had taken some time to adjust to the thought that there would be once again a baby in the house. But once it had settled in…. Ah, there it is. A nice picture of her big belly and Sarah, Kitty, Tommy and Kevin had each placed a hand on it. It looked so protective…. Maybe they had protected Justin too much over the years…
She puts the last album back on the shelf and realizes that her pregnancies had their similarities as well as their differences, just like her children. She wonders if Ida experienced a difference between her and Saul too? She can’t ask anymore. Ida has lost too many memories as it is.
She never asked when she could have, and now it’s too late. Nora shakes her head to chase away the sad thoughts. The rain is still pouring down and she sighs. She takes her coffee-cup and returns to the kitchen to get some more. She picks up the phone and she lets her thumb caress the buttons, wondering which of her kids will she call….