Driving Mr Wandell 4/?
Warning: This is Alternative Universe-story. If you can't stand to see Kevin/Scotty/Others in situations that are Out Of Character, stay away and don't whine to me about it.
About: Mainly Kevin/Scotty
Rate: Depending on the chapter - This one: G
Disclaimer: Brothers & Sister belongs to ABC, but thanks to this AU Kevin/Scotty can at least kiss.
Summary: walkersfics wondered: How come even in AUs Kevin is always the one saving Scotty? And though she has her own great storyline for that, it sure made me think: “What if….?”
A MONTH LATER.
“And that was that.” Scotty says, as he sits down in the backseat.
“Home? Or other plans?” Kevin asks, putting aside his book.
“Home.. I think.”
“We’ll be there in about two hours.”
Scotty sits back and stares out the window, hardly seeing the traffic passing by. Not even the bright sparkling lights, indicating that Christmas is coming closer, can make him more cheerful. Somehow all the joy that he’s supposed to feel just isn’t there and the many signs along the road only make him more aware of what he’s missing.
Kevin looks in his rear-view mirror and sees how unusually distracted Scotty is.
“Didn’t the meeting go well? You’re quiet.”
“Yes. It was okay. They will buy our machines. They’re sulking a bit, but they’ll come around. I gave them a good sales-pitch.”
“Then what is it?” Kevin asks. “You sound like you just lost your biggest client.”
“Can you stop over there? So, we can some coffee. I want to talk to you, … I need to talk to someone.” Kevin stops at a small family-restaurant and soon enough Scotty and he have a table as far away from the children’s section as possible.
“Do you like your job?” Scotty asks out of the blue. Kevin frowns.
“Do you plan to fire me?”
“No! No, no worries… that’s not it.”
“Yeah, I like my job.”
“You want me to apply for my job four months after I got it?” Kevin teases, but Scotty gives him a little nod with the head as a sign to humor him. “I like the car, I like to drive, I have an nice boss, I earn a nice amount of money, … The job makes me feel good.”
“I hate my job.” Scotty suddenly says. “I always have. This is what my father built and, naturally, it is expected of me to take it over. I grew up with the machines we sell. I know them in and out. I know what is good about them, I know their flaws. I know how to sell, how to repair and when to cut my loss and take it back.
I can do this job with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. It isn’t challenging, it isn’t new, there’s nothing exciting or even remotely dangerous about it. The meetings are with people who know exactly what they want and people who want the best quality for the lowest possible price….” Scotty shrugs.
“And you don’t quit because…?”
“My father has spent all my life raising me to take over. How do I tell him that I’d rather sell the whole shebang and just ….” Scotty looks away, not daring to say what he’d rather do. “He’ll be so disappointed in me. I will be disappointed in me.”
“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Kevin asks.
“I didn’t know I felt that way.”
“You didn’t know that you actually hated your job?”
“I never thought about my job. I just rolled into it, it stuck with me, it’s my daily routine.” Scotty answers.
“Then what happened to make you change your mind?”
“Me? What did I do?” Kevin asks, shocked by Scotty’s words.
“You do like your work.” Scotty moans annoyed. He pushes away his cup and plays with the plastic spoon. “I can see that you like what you do. You don’t mind getting up early to take me places, you take good care of the car without anyone having to say it to you. You anticipate, because you like to be prepared, you take pride in your job… By the way, thanks for not laughing at my fear of flying…”
“You’re welcome, and there was nothing to laugh about. It got me my job. And you’re right, I like my job. Question remains. Why didn’t you realize this before? You had a chauffeur before. Did you never compare notes with him?”
“Yes. He hated his job too.” Scotty shakes his head. “We had that in common.”
“I’m sorry… Now I feel guilty that I like my job.” Kevin replies and he mockingly pouts a bit. Scotty can’t help but laugh, because Kevin looks so cute.
“No. Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry for whining… I guess,… I turned 30 a few weeks ago and I just… I keep feeling like I’m missing out on something.”
“Ah! The 'Turning 30s blues'! Don’t worry. You’ll get over it. It’s just because you’re no longer in your twenties and you start to look back on your life and … it gets worse when you’re turning 40… so I’m told.” Kevin grins.
“Did you have them as well?”
“No. I celebrated my 30th birthday in prison and I had other worries.” Kevin smiles. “Prison, in general, is a good place to reflect on the stupid mistakes you’ve made in your life. I had 6 years to think them over.”
“I guess.” Scotty replies, a little surprised by Kevin’s words. “What had you done?”
“There had been fraud in papers, bills, documents I signed.” Kevin replies evasively, but when Scotty looks intently at him, Kevin sighs. “I don’t know exactly. I wanted to be a lawyer, but it was hard to get a good place. I managed to get work at a small practice. Four lawyers.
They needed someone who’d do the accounting as well. You know, keep an eye on invoices and payments. But also search back up for papers , draw up documents. Paperwork basically. But I was told that gradually, as I became more experienced, I would also get other jobs. And it was true, eventually they even gave me few small cases, which I won….
But when I just started working there I was young, impressionable, and one of the older lawyers was nice to me. He said he liked me. A lot…. And I wanted, I needed, to be liked… and we started something… We had to keep our relationship a secret. He wasn’t out of the closet.
He told me that he had a wife who kept a tight hand on all the money, that he had two kids… but he was sooooo in love with me, so head over heels, so …. whatever. To cut a long story short I was a stupid, gullible moron who got screwed over by someone who had me convinced that I meant something and that I was important to him.”
Kevin shrugs it off, but Scotty sees the pain in his eyes. “I signed everything he gave me to sign, even when I felt deep in my heart that it was a mistake, but I trusted him. He was my lover. I couldn’t believe that he would really hurt me. I just… I never saw it coming. And then of course it did.
It all came out that I had signed for things I couldn’t explain. Hell, I never even read some of the documents he gave me. Can you imagine how stupid you are when you want to become a lawyer and don’t even read what is handed to you, because the one who wants you to sign the documents, is your lover?
Or when you trust someone unconditionally, though you know he’s cheating on his wife because he’s in the closet? Or that you just don’t want to realize that, if he can cheat on his wife, he can cheat on you. Fine judge of character I am, right? I was so incredibly stupid. Of course, when it came out, it turned into an even bigger bad joke.
As his lawyer explained, my ‘lover’ didn’t even have kids and the man vowed that his client and his lovely wife were in a “strong, rock-solid, loving marriage” and I was the confused gay kid who had a crush on someone older and my unrequited love for him, put me in some delusional state of mind to commit fraud.”
“That is… awful.” Scotty replies, shocked by the self-degrading way Kevin speaks of himself, but also about by what had been done to Kevin. “Yeah.” Kevin agrees, but in that one word lies so much emotion, that it makes Scotty’s head spin and he needs to look away.
“You know… I think… working for you, is the first time in my life that I’m actually happy and satisfied with what I have and who I am.” Kevin confesses softly. Scotty’s hand covers Kevin’s. It’s just a caring gesture and Kevin doesn’t pull away. Instead he just smiles at the sight of that large hand on his.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me. I somehow often feel rather useless. My problems are nothing compared to yours. I have no right to complain.” Scotty says with a sigh, but Kevin shakes his head.
“Just because you seem to have everything, doesn’t mean that you must be happy.”
“No. It doesn’t. I just feel like….” Scotty stops, unable to explain.
“Maybe your problem is, that you haven’t accomplished anything on your own. It’s your dad’s company, where your dad gave you a job, where your dad decides who you should see, but also where your dad is the net that catches you if you fall.
And yes, you’ve put in a lot of your own work. And also a large piece of your life… but, ultimately, Wandell Industries is Wally Wandell’s company, he was the one who made it the important company it is today. Not you. Not Scotty Wandell. And you turned 30 and you looked at your life and you suddenly realized that.”
“I think that has a lot to do with it.” Scotty nods, surprised by how easily Kevin had put it into words. “Have you been there?”
“No.” Kevin laughs sarcastically. “My father would have rather burned our family-company to the ground than let his faggot son work there.”
“Wow. That must have set the tone.”
“I’m sorry. I think that ‘faggot’ is the kindest word he used to describe me, from the day I came out. I was fifteen... " Kevin seems lost in his thoughts. "It was hell. There was no way I could leave, no way I could stay, I wanted to die, but I was too scared to kill myself. I was sure I’d screw that up as well.”
The words are so matter-of-factly that Scotty can feel the chill go down his spine. Kevin talks about commiting suicide as if he's talking about how it's such a rainy day. Scotty shivers.
Coming out hadn’t been a party for him either, but his parents, after the initial shock, had mostly voiced their concern for the consequences with regard to Scotty's school and social life, but, coming out, being himself, had actually taken a weight of Scotty's shoulders and it had made him more accessible to his friends, now that he no longer had to carry his secret around.
Other than that they had been loving, caring and supportive. They had really tried to keep an open mind and encourage him to find love and happiness, … even if it was another man.
“So, I gather you haven’t spoken to your dad in quite a long time?”
“Fifteen-sixteen years. I wanted to go to law-school, so he gave me the money to go there and, above all, he gave me money to get the hell out of his house.”
“What about your mother?” Scotty asks. He’s so intrigued that he forgets the unspoken golden rule between them, to never discuss private matters. Maybe if Kevin would have given some indication that the conversation was unpleasant to him, Scotty would not have asked, but Kevin is open and honest and Scotty is interested.
“My mother? She would laugh apologetically and say that my father didn’t want to be mean with me. It was because he loved me, but didn’t know how to express it. He was in reality very concerned about me… I brought him so many worries…. So, basically, he was the victim of the fact that I was gay.”
“You can’t be serious.” Scotty shakes his head in disbelief. “No wonder you never spoke to them again… What about when you were convicted? When you went to prison? Didn’t they know? Didn’t try to contact you?”
“My father send me one letter. Six years in prison and it was the only letter I got from my parents or older siblings.”
“Bad?” Scotty asks and Kevin nods, suddenly bowing his head. Scotty pulls back. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll respect that. No questions asked.” He says. Kevin shrugs.
“It was a short note to say that he hoped that my time in prison would teach me something.”
“He wrote ….” Kevin takes a deep breath. “.. that perhaps, if I got raped enough times, I’d finally stop playing around and turn straight, get married and be a man.” Kevin rattles the words away, as if that makes them any less hurtful.
But the words take Scotty’s breath away. He cannot imagine any father to be so cruel, yet, he has no doubt that Kevin speaks the truth.
“I’m … so sorry.” His words are hesitant, he’s afraid he might offend Kevin, but Kevin simply sighs.
“I’ve stopped caring about it a long time ago.” Kevin says. Scotty doesn’t believe him, but he will not disagree with him. Instead he quietly finishes his coffee and, after a while, he takes his coat.
“Sitting here crying about our lives, won’t help…. Let’s go home. I’m tired.”
“Good idea.” Kevin immediately gets up as well.
Kevin stops in front of Scotty’s place. They’ve both been very quiet during the ride back. Each lost in his own thoughts, but now Kevin jumps into action as he quickly gets out and helps Scotty collect his briefcase and other paper-work. Scotty stops Kevin by taking his shoulder.
“Kevin? … Thank you…. For talking to me…. This could not have been easy. Will you do me a favor?... Don’t tell my dad what I told you. I feel almost childish now.”
“Listen, I have nothing to tell anybody about anything. So, I won’t say a word. I’ll just pretend it never happened.
But, please, don’t start feeling sorry for me. I don’t need pity. I’m not some charity-case. This is first time in a long time, that I believe that I’m okay. I just want to do my job, earn my living, come home here and read a book. On my own. I’m tired of being lied to and being cheated on. I’m tired of getting hurt. I just want to be left alone.”
“I completely respect that and I won’t bring up the subject again… But if ever you need someone to listen to you…”
“Thank you.” Kevin replies with a stiff nod. Their eyes meet and Scotty can see once again how withdrawn and lonely Kevin is. Or maybe he just sees himself reflected in Kevin’s eyes?
END OF PART 4