About: Kevin, Scotty, Chad, Jason,
Disclaimer: The boys belong to ABC.
“… that may be my husband or his boyfriend…” Kevin explains to the police-officer who tries to stop him from getting closer.
“I’m sorry, but we’re working on a rescue here and we don’t need people being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Please, sir, if either of the men is close to you, than, keep your distance and let us do our work. The less you interfere, the faster we can work.” The man says calmly and Kevin sighs.
Of course, he’s right, but… Chad takes his shoulder.
“He’s right, Kev. We have to wait.” Chad seems calm, but his voice trembles. Kevin nods and waits for what seems hours, until one of the rescue-workers shows up, then a second one and between them a stretcher. Fear takes Kevin’s breath away, but the paramedics quickly move forward and from what he hears the person is still alive and breathing.
However, Kevin can’t see who it is and for a moment he even considers the possibility that it may not even be Scotty and Jason they try to bring up, but then one of the paramedics steps aside and Kevin can clearly see who’s on the stretcher and his eyes fill with tears.
“Scotty!” He whispers, almost afraid that if he say his husband’s name any louder, Scotty will fade away like a mirage in the desert. But he doesn’t. The police-officer turns to him.
“Is that your husband or his boyfriend?” he asks.
“My husband.” Kevin replies, unable to believe that it’s really Scotty.
"If you want to travel on the ambulance with him? There’s another ambulance on the way up, for the other guy.”
“How is the other man doing?” Chad asks terrified.
“Trapped in his car. We trying to get him out, but that’s all the data I have…” The man obviously regrets not being able to give more information to take away Chad’s fear.
“I want to go with Scotty…” Kevin says, turning to Chad. “But I’d hate to leave you, not knowing how Jason is…”
“Go… Be with Scotty. I’m a big boy and I can take care of myself. He needs you… and all I need is .. to know Jase is alright… Go, don’t worry about me.” Chad sends him away, but when Kevin is in the back of the ambulance he looks over his shoulder. Chad looks so lonely and scared and it breaks his heart. What if it was Scotty who was still down there…?
But the door closes and the ambulance starts to move and the paramedic starts to ask questions about Scotty and if he’s allergic, if he uses prescribed or non-prescribed drugs and Kevin forgets about Chad to focus on helping Scotty.
It is hard to open my eyes, but if I try real hard I can see you between my eye-lashes… You look so scared… My sweet Kevin, I never meant to scare you so. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about many things. Above all, I'm sorry about Marcus… The cheating wasn’t worth the fear I lived in for months.
Or the shock on you face when I finally knew I could no longer keep the secret. Or the pain in your eyes when you yelled at me in the kitchen that I had ruined our marriage. “The person who’s supposed to love me than anything…” and I do. I do love you more than anything or anyone else.
I also believe now that I needed to hear you say that, that I needed to know that you needed me to love you, because I felt for so long that you didn’t. That all we had built was just useless. We had lost each other and I had no idea how to get you back.
I was angry and hurt, but I waited patiently for you to change. I felt you move away, but I expected you to come back to me when you were ready. I searched for excuses for your behavior, rather than call you out on them and I forgave you your insensitivity, where I should have told you to go to hell and remind you that you were not the only one hurting.
I should have talked to you, yelled at you, fight with your. I should have corrected you. I should have pointed out to you that we were going in the wrong direction… We should have fought, argued, debated instead of suffering in silence. You always needed me to point out the obvious to you.
Remember, on our first date...? I told you, your were ‘tragically tangled up in your own homophobia’ and not comfortable in your own skin… - Nice way to end your date with a hot lawyer, Scotty - I really hadn’t expected you to admit that I was right about my assumptions, but you did.
You had listened to me, thought about what I said and… you kissed me… That afternoon, we made love for the first time and you made me feel so good. It was waking up beside you late that afternoon, that made me realize that if I should go for the things in life I wanted and what I wanted most of all in life was you…
Kevin holds Scotty’s hand tightly, glad that he can feel Scotty’s hand in his own. The hand no longer feels cold. The color is back on Scotty’s face, but he’s still asleep on the pain-killers that he got. Kevin has no idea how late it is, or how long he’s been sitting next to Scotty’s bed.
He has no idea what happened in the world outside the room. He doesn’t even know if Jason is alright or if Chad is in the hospital. He doesn’t dare to leave, because he wants to be there when Scotty wakes up. Kevin’s left hand holds Scotty’s hand, his right hand gently rests against in Scotty’s face and sometimes he caresses Scotty’s hair.
He talks softly to Scotty, not sure if Scotty can hear him, but he can’t stay quiet. He knows that the painkillers are wearing off and that Scotty should wake up at any time and he’s waiting for the moment that Scotty opens his eyes. He wants to be the first person that Scotty sees.
The machines hiss and beep and Kevin no longer knows what to say. He lets his head rest on Scotty’s hand.
“Please, baby, open your eyes. I need to know that you’re alright.” But Scotty doesn’t respond and Kevin closes his eyes to hide the tears…
On our wedding-day I vowed that you would have my love and my devotion and I still stand by those vows. I cannot recall a prouder moment than standing there in front of everybody and I guess I finally understood what you had meant when you had tried to explain to me the reason why you didn’t want a domestic partnership with me on my terms.
Scotty, I never stopped loving you, not one day, not one second, not even in the time after you admitted to cheating. I wasn’t hurt because I stopped loving you, but because I could not stop loving you. I so wished that there was a switch I could turn and I would stop caring, but there wasn’t.
I once told Kitty that if ever I’d caught you cheating on me I’d built a bon-fire and throw all your belongings on it, which of course, I didn’t do, because on our wedding-day you looked at me with so much love and I kept asking myself where and when I had lost that, that you could cheat on me with some 24-year old…
You were my rock in the worst of times. I never considered the idea that I could lose you, because I never doubted your love, like I never doubted you. I never suspected that you had cheated on me. It never crossed my mind. So your confession hit me pretty hard... but I didn’t stop loving you.
“Hey, babe.” Scotty says softly and Kevin sits up as if a cannonball just went off in the quiet room.
“Scotty!” The joy on his face makes Scotty feel embarrassed.
“I’m so sorry, I scared you like that.”
“As long as you’re okay…”
“I don’t know. When you were brought to the hospital I went with the ambulance… I don’t know what happened since."
Scotty nods that he understands and he closes his eyes for a few seconds, then he opens them again.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking while I was alone in the dark… I thought about so much… and you were right. I owed you fidelity.” Kevin is surprised by Scotty's words.
“Yes…. But I owed you support, attention, affection, love. I didn’t give it to you. I couldn’t.” He replies.
“That didn’t give me the right to cheat.”
“No…” Kevin acknowledges, then he sighs. “But in the end, you told me the truth… and you were right about that. You owed me that as well.” He caresses Scotty’s face. “Because, now at least I can correct my mistakes. We both can.”
“Kevin, I swear, I’ll never do it again. I love you so much. I can’t begin to tell you how much.”
“I know. You told me so many times and I believe you. And I need you to believe that I love you too and that you are the most important person in my life, and if I seem to forget that you’re there… but don’t believe that if forgot you…
You’re a part of me and you’re with me wherever I am and whatever I do… I just sometimes forget to tell you that.” Kevin replies softly
Scotty smiles through his tears..
“I will remind you more often to write me a memo of where you’re taking me with you…”
Kevin blinks and lets the sentence work in, then he smiles and nods.
“Kev? Can you please find out how Jason is doing? I need to know if he’s alright…”
“You want me to do that now?”
“Yes, please, I’m going crazy. I was worried about him last night…”
“I’ll be right back.” Kevin promises.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Scotty jokes and the fact that he's joking gives Kevin the courage to leave him alone for a few minutes. He steps out of the room and looks around him. He has no idea where to go.
He had just blindly followed the stretcher with Scotty on it and he has no clear memory of how he got here. Luckily he finally sees the nurses’ station and so he tries to get more information there. The nurse behind the desk tells Kevin that Chad and Jason are just two doors further than Scotty’s room and so Kevin quickly goes to that room.
Through the glass panel he can see Chad sitting next to Jason, holding his hand and Kevin realizes that a little while ago he sat like that too… He knocks and enters.
“Kevin.” Chad smiles when he looks up. That’s encouraging. “How’s Scotty?”
“Just regained consciousness. He seems fine, but he’s worried about Jason?”
“Jason doesn’t seem to be that injured, aside from a bad cut on his leg, but the doctors want to be sure. Scotty could still move about, but not Jason… Maybe he has injuries that cannot be seen… So, we’ll have to wait until he's awake….”
“Anything I can do?”
“No. Go take care of Scotty, I’ll be staying here with Jason…”
“Want me to get you some coffee? It’s going to be a long wait… And I promise, no sleeping pills.” Kevin says with a frown, not sure if he’s serious or joking.
“Kev, I’m really sorry about that. I shouldn’t have done that. It was stupid.”
“Well, you meant well.” Kevin replies. “And the time did pass quicker this way… So, coffee?” Kevin asks again, but Chad shakes his head. Kevin squeezes his shoulder for encouragement, but then he leaves Chad alone to join Scotty again. Scotty lets out a sigh of relief when he hears that Jason is seemingly doing fine.
Kevin sits down again and he takes Scotty’s hand and carefully places a kiss on it.
“I love you so much.” He says. “The thought that you may be hurt or worse… I can’t take it. I want to protect you from anything and everything that could possibly bring you pain… Though I don't seem to be able to protect you from me.”
“Wasn’t that also the reason why you offered me to file for domestic partnership? So I would be protected from all evil, including death and dismemberment?” Scotty grins. Kevin sticks out his tongue and Scotty starts to laugh. Kevin rolls his eyes, but can’t stop from joining Scotty.
“So,….” Kevin bends over a bit. “If you ever find that guy with whom you wish to grow old, bold and incontinent with, will you invite me to your wedding?”
“It’s even a prerequisite that you show up… for you are that man.” Scotty replies. “C’me here…” Scotty pulls Kevin’s head down and demands a kiss. “I love you.” Scotty whispers.
END OF PART 10