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Never again, I swear 
21st-Nov-2010 11:21 pm
scotty season 5
Never again, I swear

By Marea67
About: Scotty (and a bit of Kevin)
Rate: G
Disclaimer: Seriously, if they were mine, they’d be naked and making love all the time.
Summary: Scotty wakes up from a nightmare.


He wakes up with a shock. Thirst ,and a bladder complaining that it needs a little less tension, force him to take action… With an annoyed sigh Scotty carefully leaves the bed. He tries not to wake Kevin. Kevin makes a grumpy little noise and Scotty freezes for a second. He listens how Kevin’s breathing continues to be slow and calm, signaling that he’s not awake yet.

Scotty quickly enters the bathroom. It doesn’t take long before he sees his face in the bathroom-mirror. He washes his hands and then he fills a cup with water to kill his thirst. He leans against the wash-basin and tries to shake the memories of the nightmare he had, just before he woke up.

Kevin had been angry with him, in his dream. Angry over the cheating. Angry enough to leave him. Kevin had kicked him out of his life, gone back to Jason – talk about a nightmare! – and the McCallisters had been angry at Scotty for driving Kevin back to Jason. Ridiculous, but it seemed so real.

The Walkers had reacted strongly to Kevin’s decision, blaming everything on Scotty. Saul had demanded closure of the restaurant. Kitty had turned the press against him. Sarah and Luc forbade Paige and Cooper to come near him. Not that they wanted to talk to him anyway.

Justin had turned from an unprejudiced bystander to one of his worst enemies and Nora had made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that she never wanted to see him again… It had all felt so terribly real, but not as real as the fear he had felt when he saw Kevin close the door to their place behind him and knowing it would be the last time that they would see each other…

Scotty shivers and he can feel how his tears start to search for a way out. Sure, Kevin is back in his bed, back in their home, but it‘s all still very tricky. Sometimes they can forget and all is good. Sometimes the memory comes back so hard, it’s like walking into a brick wall and all the wounds that had carefully started to heal, are scratched open again.

And at first, he had been the only one who had these feelings. The more time had passed, the less what had happened between Marcus and him had haunted him. The first days, he had felt like it was written all over his face and that Kevin would see it and just kill him.

But nothing had happened and days had passed and Kevin had drifted further away from him and, in a way, he had been glad for that, because Kevin had worked all these long days and had been too tired for sex at night and it had lasted long enough for Scotty to ignore the memory of Marcus.

Not always, mind you. Sometimes he had stood in the kitchen and he had been able to feel Marcus’ hands on his body again and he had remembered his own excitement... In moments like that he had felt ashamed and guilty, but those feelings had faded as the memories came back less and less frequently…

Sometimes he wonders if hadn’t been better to keep his mouth shut, but he knows that that isn’t true. If there"s anything his life with the Walkers has thought him, it's that secrets never stay as secret as you wish them to be. He wipes away the few tears he cried.

The nightmare had spooked him, sure, but in this little bathroom, under the harsh lights, he comes back to reality and the knowledge that Saul is still his partner, that Justin still wants to teach him to surf, that Sarah and Luc wouldn’t consider asking Paige and Coop to stay away.

And he remembers that he has a meeting with Kitty tomorrow to discuss how he can best present himself, when, the day after tomorrow, he will be interviewed by a local tv-station, that wishes to talk to him about his restaurant.He also knows that Nora still loves him like a son. He pushes himself away from the wash-basin, turns off the light and returns to the bedroom. .

In the weak light he can see Kevin’s sleeping form under the blankets and he breathes out a sigh of relief. As much as he loves the Walkers and no matter how happy he is with their support for him, it all means nothing, absolutely nothing, without Kevin by his side.

He sits down at the foot of the bed and he softly caresses Kevin’s leg, as if he wants to make sure that Kevin is really there and not a figment of his imagination. Kevin turns to lie on his back. Scotty is now used to the dark again and he clearly see Kevin’s face. That beautiful face he can never get tired of watching.

His own happiness, that Kevin is back, suddenly overwhelms him and he can’t hold back the little sobbing sound. Kevin opens his eyes.
“Scotty?” He asks almost immediately and Scotty can see his hands move to the other side of the bed, searching for him.
“I’m fine.” Scotty replies and he can feel Kevin relax. “I just had a nightmare.”

“About what?” Kevin asks, letting his head fall back on the pillow.
“That I lost you… because of what I did.”
“Then stop having silly dreams like that.” Kevin replies softly, slightly annoyed at having been woken up. 

He’s on his way to falling back to sleep and Scotty waits a few minutes, then, assuming that Kevin is asleep, Scotty says softly:
“It seemed so real. I just knew, when you walked out that door, it would be the last time I’d see you.”

To his surprise, Kevin sighs in the dark.
“I could never really leave you. I love you. I was angry and hurt, but I never stopped loving you. However, I don’t know if I would be able to forgive you, if you did it again.”
“Never again, I swear.” Scotty can feel Kevin move.

He pushes the blankets aside and takes Scotty in his arms and then pulls the blankets around them as tightly as possible.
“I believe you…” Kevin says in the dark. “Sometimes, I still doubt, but most of the time, I believe you. I have to, because I love you and I want us to be together.”

He kisses Scotty’s hair first, after which his lips search for Scotty’s. Their kisses make soft popping kisses in the dark and they both laugh quietly.
“I love you too.” Scotty caresses Kevin’s cheek once more, before he closes his eyes, ready for sleep to take him away.


21st-Nov-2010 10:34 pm (UTC)
So thankful that it was just a nightmare. I just wish the entire storyline could have been a nightmare as well. But it wasn't and Kevin's love for Scotty and vice versa has allowed them to work past it. Eventually the good days will outweigh the bad days.
21st-Nov-2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
You and me both. (sigh)

But I'm working my way through it. Let's see if I can do some healing of my own here. ;)
21st-Nov-2010 11:28 pm (UTC)
Awwww. I love it!!

So beautiful!! AWwww I love it ^^
22nd-Nov-2010 12:21 am (UTC)
Thanks, glad you liked it. :) I'm not quite there yet, but I'm closing in. I think it's good that there's a three week hiatus between 5.08 and 5.09. It will give me time to deal with it all. :)
22nd-Nov-2010 12:51 am (UTC)
I think scotty deserved that nightmare, do not get me wrong but the fear of losing everything will surely make him think twice next time
22nd-Nov-2010 07:02 am (UTC)
I sure hope so!
22nd-Nov-2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
It's nice to see/read about both of them having to deal with this in more depth, the guilt, the hurt 'cos....call me crazy, I don't think we will get to see that in the show, nicely done!
22nd-Nov-2010 01:14 pm (UTC)
I don't think we get to see that either, which, at the same time is good, I prefer them to move on to a happier place, but it all feels a bit 'off' to me. A lot of mixed emotions.
22nd-Nov-2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
Aww, you had me tearing up at the end.
22nd-Nov-2010 01:14 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you. :)
22nd-Nov-2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
You captured Scotty's fear over losing Kevin really well.

Btw. if they won't mention it again, I cannot put the finger on it, why the writers did it actually. What was the reason? Being the character from Scotty boring is not enough. At least not for me. ;)

22nd-Nov-2010 10:27 pm (UTC)
I don't get it either. They wanted to 'shake thing up', I presume, but they did it the WORST possible way. (Sad sigh)
23rd-Nov-2010 09:30 pm (UTC)
Beautifully written as always. Keep up the good work!
24th-Nov-2010 08:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I will. ;)
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