Disclaimer: Not mine. If they had been, THIS would NEVER have happened. :(
Summary: Scotty finds out that there's only so much he can do to get Kevin's forgiveness
When Kevin enters, the place seems darker than usual. Of course, it’s the only evening that the restaurant is closed, but still… it feels different. He checks the message on his phone once again.
“7pm. Café 429. Be there. Scotty.”
“Scotty?” He asks. A few seconds later he sees Scotty come down the stairs that leads to their apartment.
“You’re early.” Scotty says.
“Five minutes only.” Kevin replies.
“Good. No problem. Dinner is ready.” Scotty gives Kevin a quick kiss, that leaves Kevin secretly longing for more. Scotty takes Kevin’s hand to lead him to the kitchen. Now Kevin realizes why it’s so dark in the restaurant. All the lights are out except for the candlelight on the table.
“Hope our smoke-alarm won’t go off.” Kevin smiles, enjoying the sight of the beautifully made up table and the delicious smell in the kitchen. Scotty really put work into it, as it all shines and looks absolutely perfect. Scotty lets Kevin sit first.
“We have no chef tonight, so we’re kind of depending on me.” Scotty laughs nervously.
“Then I’m sure everything will be just fine.” Kevin smiles. Scotty gives a quick nod, to show that he heard the compliment but he still isn’t sure. He has made up a plan, but he’s not sure it will work. He knows that Kevin is rather reluctant and he fears he might be pushing Kevin too hard, but he has to try.
The dinner basically goes without a hitch. They discuss Kevin’s work, Scotty day cleaning the kitchen and making sure everything is ready for the coming week and if certain supplies should be ordered. Kevin makes a compliment about the delicious food, that makes Scotty blush a bit. He still finds it hard to believe, that so many people enjoy his cooking so much.
Kevin sees Scotty’s shyness and smiles. Scotty looks absolutely great by candlelight (or any other light for that matter) and the sweet red wine, in combination with the delicious food and overall pleasantness of the conversation, makes that Kevin relaxes. Even Kevin can feel the mood shift as he and Scotty carefully flirt with each other again like they used to.
They talk with their mouths, but their eyes, their hands, their bodies speak in a different language. Almost casually Scotty’s fingers rest on Kevin’s hand, Kevin moves a bit closer to Scotty. Under the table, Scotty’s long legs find Kevin’s feet. Kevin bites his lip, his eyes turning a darker color of blue from the carefully growing excitement.
They talk about Jordan’s new job, Chad’s latest movie and Nora’s radio-show that morning. But eventually Scotty knows they can’t stay here. “I hate to have to spoil the mood, but I have desserts upstairs.”
“Good. Why don’t we clear up everything and go upstairs?” Kevin suggests and for a moment Scotty believes he catches an interest that he hasn’t heard in a few weeks.
“That won’t be necessary. I’ll do that tomorrow-morning.” Scotty replies, not wanting to turn on the harsh lights and break the soft spell between Kevin and himself.
They blow out the candles and Scotty takes Kevin’s hand and easily leads him through the dark restaurant to the stairs so they can move up to their apartment, but just as Scotty is ready to climb the stairs, Kevin forces him to turn around and suddenly his lips are on Scotty’s.
The kiss is not too demanding or aggressive, but more gentle and tender, maybe even slightly hesitant as if Kevin is redefining the limits. By the time he breaks the kiss, Scotty feels a little wobbly in the knees.
“Thank you for the wonderful dinner.” Kevin says, but Scotty can see the arousal on him.
“You’re welcome.” He replies as casual as he can, but his heart is beating faster. He keeps telling himself not to expect too much, but this is more than they had these last weeks, since Scotty told Kevin the truth about his cheating. Nervously he goes ahead to their place.
Kevin sits down on the couch, enjoying the music that Scotty put on. It’s something instrumental, not too intrusive and it creates a calm, peaceful atmosphere. Scotty comes back in carrying a large bucket of ice-cream and two spoons. Kevin starts to smile as it brings back good memories.
“Wow, you really pulled out all the stops, haven’t you?” Kevin jokes and he can see Scotty freeze. Scotty gives him a guilty look.
“You think I’m pushing too hard….? I just want us to relax a bit.” Scotty apologizes and Kevin feels bad because his words have had an saddening effect on Scotty.
“I was just joking. I love the ice-cream. Brings back good memories of you and me.” Kevin really makes an effort to sound cheerful and Scotty relaxes again. He gives Kevin a spoon and opens the bucket. Soon enough they sit together side by side on the floor reminiscing about the early days in their relationship.
“I thought it was so romantic to be eating like this together.” Scotty explains, when Kevin asks him what had prompted the idea, a few years ago. “My equivalent of sharing one milkshake by using two straws. I just never met anyone who felt the same way I did, until you came.”
“I just thought it was brilliant…” Kevin admits, as he picks up some ice-cream, but rather than bring the spoon to his own mouth, he offers it to Scotty. Scotty takes the bite and then offers some to Kevin. They don’t talk, they just look at each other. Kevin leans in and kisses Scotty just once.
When he pulls back, he can see that the kiss hasn’t left Scotty unaffected.
“Ahm..” Scotty tries to think of something clever to say. He wants nothing more than just throw himself on Kevin and just take him, but he fears that he will make Kevin back off again, so he desperately searches for a way to keep Kevin focused on him, without it getting sexual.
Scotty places the ice on the table and gets up.
“Can I have this dance?” He asks, reaching out to Kevin, who hesitates. Kevin doesn’t really like to dance, Scotty remembers too late. But Kevin gets up and takes Scotty’s hand and lets Scotty lead him to an open spot where they have more room to dance.
Kevin’s arms slip around Scotty’s waist, slowly their bodies move closer to each other. Their lips come in touch, lingering longer and longer, until they don’t part again. In the middle of the room, they no longer dance, just kiss. Scotty fights his own desire to take control, instead he lets Kevin dictate how far they go.
Until he can take it no more and pushes Kevin away, just a little bit.
“Kev, can we please, please, take this dance to the bedroom?” He nearly begs. He wants to tell Kevin how much he wants, he needs this, but he can feel how Kevin steps away. Scotty fears another rejection, when Kevin opens his mouth to reply.
“I don’t know. I want to, but I’m scared. I want nothing more, but at the same time I don’t want make a promise I can’t keep and hurt your feelings by quitting half-way, because I can’t do it. I don’t want you to think it’s about you. You’re amazing and handsome and so sexy and …. I don’t know.”
Scotty watches Kevin struggle with his words, trying to explain his feelings, navigating between trying to be honest and not hurting Scotty and Scotty slowly starts to see just how deep his cheating has affected Kevin. It’s not just about Marcus, but also about him, about Kevin, about broken trust and a gap that is difficult to bridge.
He nods at Kevin’s words, his disappointment is clearly on his face.
“I get it. It’s okay. I really hoped that it would have worked….”
“Me too.” Kevin nearly whispers.
“.. because I miss you. I suppose I should be glad that you’re not repulsed by me, but…”
“I could never be. I love you.”
“.. I miss you. I’ve told you ‘sorry’ and I know that’s not always enough. I can see you’re hurt and I shouldn’t push this, but, ….” Scotty shakes his head. “I give up… I’m going to take a shower and then just go to bed.”
Scotty turns around and Kevin watches him leave the room. For at least a minute he stays where he is, as a thousand and one thoughts race through his mind. The loudest thought however is “Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Why are you doing this? Just take him and make love to him!”
Eventually he grabs the ice-cream and puts it back in the freezer. Suddenly angry with himself, he slams the door to the freezer with incredible force and leans against the door.
“I’m not going to let you win, Marcus. Scotty is mine.” He whispers angrily and he starts to unbutton on his shirt, which he leaves on one of the kitchen-chairs.
His shoes and socks fall somewhere on the floor in the living room. He walks into the bedroom and his pants ends up on the bed and by the time he reaches the shower he’s naked. He shoves the curtain aside with quite some strength, to find Scotty leaning against the wall sobbing, his tears mingling with the hot water.
Scotty seems shocked to see Kevin, but Kevin steps closer, closes the curtain behind him and takes Scotty in his arms to kiss him. Flabbergasted, Scotty doesn’t know how to reply at first, but then he replies to the kiss with the same passion.
“I want you back. You’re mine.” He can hear see Kevin say over the sound of the running water.
Usually Scotty hates to be considered property and to be claimed, but this time it only makes him press closer to Kevin, arousing both of them even further. Kevin’s hands don’t waste time with foreplay, his fingers close around Scotty’s cock. He can feel the shock in Scotty, but he doesn’t allow Scotty to voice it as he keeps kissing Scotty.
Caught between the wall and Kevin’s body, Scotty moans and presses closer to Kevin’s hands. He can feel Kevin pull away and he whimpers, afraid that Kevin will stop again, but instead Kevin sinks down to his knees. Scotty’s shakes his head, unable to get what Kevin is about to do.
Seeing Scotty’s swollen cock before him, Kevin hesitates. A voice in his head asks in a very nagging voice if Marcus had done the same for Scotty and if Scotty had enjoyed it more than with Kevin…. Kevin taps into his anger. Well, if Marcus was good, he’s going to be better!
His lips part and somewhere above him he can hear Scotty utter something that sounds like “Ngjaaahh.” Which makes Kevin laugh softly, before making real work of Scotty’s arousal. He can hear that it takes Scotty’s breath away. Good. Points scored. Scotty’s longs fingers take firm grip of Kevin’s hair.
“Kevin!!” Scotty yelps as his orgasm hits him so much faster and harder than he had expected. He trembles and shakes under Kevin’s hands, glad that the wall is holding him up, because all the strength seem to have left his legs. He slowly sinks down until he’s seated on the floor.
“Wow!” he says quietly and Kevin laughs, before reclaiming Scotty’s lips. They kiss long and deep and Scotty tastes himself on Kevin’s lips until the water washes every last drop away.
“Come to bed with me. I can’t promise anything, but I want to try.” Kevin asks.
Scotty nods, they dry themselves off and return to the bedroom. Kevin gets under the blanket, but Scotty lingers at the drawer. He watches the condoms… Another “price” he’ll have to pay for his cheating. Not the worst price, but it doesn’t feel the same. This will however not stop him. Resolutely he picks them up and takes them with him to the bed.
He reaches out for the light, but Kevin’s voice calmly tells him.
“Leave it on.”
“Are you sure? It can be so annoying.”
“I need to see you. I want to be able to open my eyes and see you.”
Scotty knows what Kevin means and so he doesn’t ask any further, he just moves closer to Kevin and soon enough he forgets everything, when Kevin moves underneath him. Scotty caresses and kisses him all over. Occasionally he rolls over and lets Kevin do some exploring of his own.
It’s like getting to know each other all over again. Something has changed, but some things still feel the same. Kevin knows exactly how to turn to Scotty on. He almost automatically finds the right places to touch, the certain spots that will make Scotty arch up from the bed and those secret little niches that Kevin likes to kiss.
However, Kevin takes his time and it makes Scotty nervous to a point where he gently pushes Kevin away.
“Listen, baby, if you’re not ready… Take your time. I’m not going to push this matter anymore, I swear.”
Kevin smiles and caresses Scotty’s face.
“You’re not getting away with it so easily…. You know, the longer you wait, the harder it gets to get past it.”
“For dropping the first part where you talk about riding horse and falling off.”
“Yeah, I figured it might hit the wrong note, to compare having sex with you to riding a horse...” Kevin chuckles and Scotty joins him.
It breaks the ice again and Scotty once again asks Kevin:
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I am. “ Kevin once again replies, so Scotty gives him the lube and the condoms, assuming that this what Kevin wants.
Kevin stares at the articles that Scotty hands him and a memory comes back to him.
“It must have been the second or the third time that we had sex, when I told you that I wanted you to take me. You looked so stunned, like you had never heard someone ask that of you before. I really felt so stupid. Like I had broken some unwritten law.”
Scotty looks a little embarrassed as the memory comes back to him as well.
“I was so used to having my boyfriends decide on what to do… I had sort of given up demanding something for myself…. I never cared much about how I had sex, as long as it was safe and enjoyable for both.
Everything depended on who I had sex with. I needed to feel safe, accepted and respected, before I could really give myself. And then, after so many guys who just took charge and made decisions for me, with my consent, don’t forget that, there was you, who offered me the choice ... It was so amazing.”
Kevin looks at Scotty for a few seconds, before handing everything back to Scotty.
“Take me.” He orders, much to Scotty’s surprise. He smiles confused.
“I thought that the point of this all was to ‘re-claim’ me?”
“I’m know what I like, what you like.” Kevin replies with simplicity.
Their first kiss is calm, but slowly becomes more passionate as they arouse each other, while Scotty pushes Kevin down on the bed, on his back, giving him enough space to lift his hips. Scotty knows how to prepare Kevin, but still it feels awkward. Only a few days ago, they had been so close to splitting up…
He chases the lonely memories away and concentrates on preparing Kevin, vowing that he will never let Kevin get hurt again. Kevin watches Scotty roll down the condom and he’s not sure if the shiver that runs though him is anticipation or fear. He wills it to be the first option, refusing the second to be an option.
“Kev?” Scotty’s question is so soft, that Kevin nearly misses it. “…y’sure?” Kevin nods and closes his eyes, waiting for Scotty to start, but then he hears Scotty’s voice again:
“Look at me, Kevin. See me. No one else. Just me.” Kevin opens his eyes, but not for long as the moment of penetration makes him close them.
Scotty kisses Kevin where ever he can reach. His thrusts quickly become more forceful. Kevin’s lips part as he begs for more and Scotty complies. Kevin can feel Scotty’s hand move between them. He’s too aroused to fight Scotty for long and soon enough he comes all over Scotty’s hand. At this point Scotty can no longer control himself either.
Scotty slips back under the blankets and snuggles up close to Kevin, Kevin’s hands caress his back with long, languid strokes. The silence between them isn’t awkward, but neither one seems to have something to say. Scotty feels satisfied, but not he’s not sure if Kevin is completely back with him.
Kevin can feel Scotty’s skin under his fingertips. It had been so exciting to see Scotty get so aroused, but he can’t help but wonder if Marcus hadn’t been better.
“Of all the boyfriends I’ve ever had, I don’t think anyone else but you, can make me feel this good.” Scotty suddenly says as if he guessed Kevin’s thoughts.
“Not one?” Kevin asks. The question is in the air.
“Not one.” Scotty replies as an answer to Kevin’s unspoken question.
“Good. I like that thought.” Kevin replies with a smile. He kisses Scotty’s hair and Scotty lets his head rest against Kevin’s shoulder…
Scotty wakes up to the smell of coffee. Kevin quietly enters the bedroom.
“Hey….” Scotty says, his voice still rough with sleep.
“You’re awake… I’m just about to make you breakfast.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right in the kitchen.” Scotty replies as he follows, from the bed, how Kevin gets dressed. “Kev?” He starts and when Kevin turns to look at him, he continues: “Are we good again?” He can’t hide the expectation that is in his voice or in his eyes.
Kevin doesn’t reply immediately, but instead sits down on the bed and takes Scotty’s hand.
“I don’t know. I think we’ve taken a giant step in the right direction, but I can’t see it’s 'all good' again, but we’ll get there, I’m sure of it… Just like I’m sure that I love you and that I’m glad that we fought one of my demons last night.”
“Yeah, that was fun…” Scotty grins.
“We should do it again. Soon.” Kevin’s voice is carefully flirtatious.
“When? I’m ready when you are.” Scotty’s mind quickly races through their work schedules for the week. It will be hard to find a moment where they can be alone…
“How about after breakfast? My 9 o’clock appointment cancelled.” Kevin suggests and Scotty blinks.
“Really?” Scotty asks, shocked by the suggestion.
“We’ll be busy all week and too tired at night, you know that. Take it or leave it.”
“Oh! I’ll take it.” Scotty laughs excitedly…
“Or…. We could have breakfast later on?” Kevin crawls closer to Scotty. “Now that I’ve ‘reclaimed’ what is mine, I want to see you in the daylight as well.” Scotty nods, too happy to say something as Kevin’s mouth covers his.
He realizes that it’s not all perfect again. Maybe they will never get back to 'how it used to be', but that’s alright. He’s finally convinced that they can have a future again together and that detail, to him, is more important than trying to be how they ‘used to be’. The past is over, the future lies ahead, all he has to do now is enjoy what they have today.