Saturday-evening, Eight o’clock
Your baby doesn't love you any more
Golden days before they end,
Whisper secrets to the wind
Your baby won't be near you any more
It took Jason a while to find a decent spot, but sitting in his car, from this place he can look at the ocean and it fills him with peace. The little clock on the dashboard tells him it is nearly time. Time for the commitment ceremony between Kevin and Scotty to begin.
He sighs. Of course it won’t happen. Kevin cannot commit to someone. It had been one of his main problems with Kevin, Kevin’s inability to make a choice.
He didn’t even blink when Robert called last week. In a warm voice Robert broke the news to him.
“Jason, I just heard it from Kitty… Kevin and Scotty are getting married.”
“That is quick.”
“They don’t want some fancy wedding-day. Just a few friends, co-workers and family.”
Jason spent a few days letting the news sink in. Kevin is getting married. Kevin will commit himself to Scotty. Kevin will pledge his love in front of everybody. His love for Scotty. He tried the sentences from every angle, but somehow none of them made any sense. He wrote the first draft for his next sermon. But the words were meaningless to him. He felt numb. There was only one sentence that kept going through his mind. Kevin is getting married.
Tender nights before they fly,
Send falling stars that seem to cry
Your baby doesn't want you any more,
In his lonely bed he couldn’t help but think of Kevin. He had not done that in months. He had been rather successful in blocking Kevin from his mind. But now, the bed he had shared a few times with Kevin, for he usually slept at Kevin’s place, seemed so cold. He remembered Kevin pressed up against him, warm and comfortable. Those simple moments of intimacy, just kissing, touching, caressing, waking up with strong arms around him. In those moments he had felt protected. Like, for once, there was someone, who was looking out for him, while he was looking after his congregation.
And he remembers the phone call when he was in Malaysia. All he wanted to do, was tell Kevin that he’d be home soon. He had made up his mind, he would return to Kevin. And if the church could not live with that, then tough. But there had been something in Kevin’s words…. Kevin’s message had hit him like a ton of bricks. He could not believe it! He had spent weeks trying to find out what he wanted and now that he had made his decision… it was too late?
It breaks your heart in two,
To know she's been untrue
But oh what will you do?
When she says to you
There's someone new
We're through We're through
It's over, It's over, It's over
Deep inside he was convinced that Kevin’s relationship with Scotty would fail. Scotty had already broken up with Kevin twice before. He knew that from Kitty… He had joked about it with Robert a few days ago, not understanding why Robert and Kitty were going through all the trouble. Kitty wrote her speech and Robert and he had listened to it. Kitty felt a bit weird about reading a speech, partially meant for Scotty in front of Jason, but Jason just shook his head.
He didn’t mind. He didn’t believe the marriage would happen. Something in him was convinced that Kevin would not show up or cancel it. Kevin would get cold feet. And once that had happened, it would probably be the last break up Scotty would have with Kevin. Once Kevin had left Scotty ‘at the altar’ if would be the definitive end of Kevin and Scotty. And Jason felt sorry for Scotty, for he believed that Scotty really loved Kevin. Too bad for both of them that Kevin just didn’t have faith in people.
All the rainbows in the sky
Start to weep, then say goodbye
You won't be seeing rainbows any more
Setting suns before they fall,
Echo to you that's all that's all
But you'll see lonely sunsets after all
But time creeps on and his digital clock blinks 20.15pm at him. He knows that any moment Robert will call him and then he will find out what happened and how Kevin bailed out of this ‘marriage’. And eventually his phone makes a sound. It’s a text. It's from Robert. Jason's thumb hesitates, but then he opens it.
“J. It’s over. R.” and then he receives pictures on his phone. Pictures Robert made. Kevin and Scotty next to each other, with Kitty officiating. Kevin placing a ring on Scotty’s finger. Kevin and Scotty kissing. Kevin and Scotty being congratulated.
It cuts through Jason like a knife. What hurts him most of all is to see the happiness on Kevin’s face. He looks at Scotty with so much love and confidence. Jason feels the tears sting his eyes. He stares at the pictures and it becomes real to him. Kevin just got married, he made a commitment to Scotty. He has faith in Scotty.
His arms lean on the wheel and he bows his head. He stays like that for several minutes, before he lifts his head again. He wipes away his tears. And he looks at the amazing sunset displayed before him in the various shades of yellow, orange and pink. And it fills him with strength and awe. And if God wants to give him a reminder of what incredible beauty is still left in this world, God is successful. And Jason knows that that is exactly what he is supposed to be preaching about.
He deletes Robert’s message and after a few seconds hesitations and one last look at Kevin’s smiling face, he deletes the pictures. He starts his car, gives the splendid sunset one good long look as if he wants to memorize it’s colors and he drives away. He has to go home. He has a sermon to finish.
It's over, It's over, It's over, It's over