About: Kevin, Scotty, and others
Disclaimer: Brothers & Sisters doesn’t belong to me, written with love, not for money
Summary: Summer-holidays are coming and the boys don’t know what to do with themselves.
Extra: It takes place after season 4 finale, but I’ve lost the time-line of the episodes and I will pretend that the events of the finale happened in the spring.
“Jordan won’t join us. He texted that he has a date.” Scotty tells Jason and Chad, when they ask, if they should also knock on Jordan’s door, to see if he wants dinner. Kevin walks behind them, carefully.
“What’s with him?” Chad asks and Scotty grins.
“Sunburned. Unusual place. Painful.” Scotty says quietly and Chad gets the picture.
“How did he do that?” he wonders and, after seeing Scotty’s wide smile, he has his answer. “Oh. Right. A secluded place on the beach, huh?” He then laughs.
“Very secluded. We were all alone… What’s wrong with Jason?” Scotty now asks.
“He misses Robert. Got a bit too much, just a while ago. Just… leave him be. He’ll feel better once we’re all at the table, I think.” Chad replies cheerful and Scotty is glad that Chad is not a good enough actor to really mask his concern.
“I think that goes for all of us.”
Tessa’s head is close to James’.
“… If you’re sure that this is for the best…?”
“It is. I’ve made my decision. Karen and I are through. I’m done with her, with everything. No more lies. No more hiding.”
“But, James, …” Tessa starts and then interrupts herself. “Oh, look, there are the others.” Together with James she stands up to welcome Kevin, Scotty, Chad and Jason. Scotty once again explains that Jordan won’t join them and James is happy to hear to Jordan seems to have found someone.
“Yes, me too.” Scotty confesses. “I was starting to feel guilty, because I dragged him here and then left him alone.”
“Oh, I’m sure, he didn’t mind. And after what happened today, I think we all needed some room to breathe and calm down.” Tessa laughs.
“You guys, I apologize for making you witnesses to one of my wife’s outbursts… I really wanted you guys to have a nice holiday… And I feel like, so far, it completely failed.” Chad and Jason hurry to say that the holiday hasn’t ‘failed’ at all and James is happy to hear that.
“Kevin, Kay will be here tonight.” James says.
“She will?” Kevin asks astounded.
“It’s been several years since I saw her.”
“Who’s Kay?” Scotty asks.
“There she is.” Kevin replies, standing up when a tall dark-haired woman approaches the tables. She’s made up to perfection and somehow manages to look sophisticated in her simple black dress.
She stops at the table and looks at Kevin and Tessa with an expecting look.
“Wow. I had forgotten how magnificent you look.” Kevin says in awe.
“You look amazing.” Tessa adds. It takes the other three men a little longer to realize what is going on, but Chad is the first to get his voice back.
“Looking at you, I wish that more Hollywood-actresses would attempt to look like a lady instead of a tramp.”
“I second that.” Jason answers.
“This is quite a change.” Scotty says.
Kay, who they had gotten know as Kai in the days before, sits down and smiles.
“I’m sorry. Few people know this part of me.” She says. “James and I felt that it was time to share our secret. Especially with Scotty, after Karen tried to create trouble in Kevin and Scotty’s marriage.”
James caresses Kay’s hand and Kay clears her throat.
“I think we’ll start with me?” She looks at Tessa and James and they both seem to agree: “I don’t know exactly where to start, but maybe with the fact that my mother died when I was very young, I was an only child and I was raised by my father and my grand-father.
They were very strict and disciplined and I wasn’t very happy. I mean, they were great, they raised me, encouraged me to be good in school, made sure I was well fed, well dressed and never sick. To this day, I respect and love both of them for how well they tried to raise me, but … I missed a mother’s touch, a mother’s hand…
So imagine my shock when I discovered my fascination for being a woman. I wanted to dress like a woman. Wear make-up, as if I were a woman, … Be a woman. At first, I thought , it was some role I wanted a play. That I would try to imagine what it would be like to have a woman in my life. Compensate.
But as I grew older I realized it ran much deeper than that. It was hard for me, very confusing times, and I didn’t know who to turn to. My father or grand-father would have killed me. They were so old-fashioned and rigid in their thoughts, that they would be unable to understand me.
My life was so organized, that I never really had a chance to find out what I really wanted. My father and grandfather, both military men, already made my career-choices for me. The fact that there were so many things I needed to find out for myself first, would have been inconceivable to them. They knew exactly who they wanted me to be. I was kept on such a short leash…
But my chance came went I was allowed to visit a friend, the son of a friend of my father’s , who studied in Amsterdam. Knowing the father, my father believed the boy could be trusted and so he permitted me to go to Amsterdam. However, my friend was often away and left me alone in the house.
And I took my chances. I bought some cheap dresses on the flee-market and started to experiment. I felt so amazingly pretty as Kay, for the first time in my life I as comfortable in my own skin. I even dared to get out of the house one day and when it didn’t turn out to be a disaster, my confidence as being a woman grew.
Until the day my friend found out what I was doing… He was furious. Called me a freak and he threw me out of the house and I was alone in a city where I didn’t really know anyone else. I knew I had no choice but to call my father and ask him for money to go back home. I decided to get a drink first …”
“And that’s where I come in.” James picks up. “I saw Kay sitting there alone and I was fascinated. She was so beautiful, so out my reach and yet so available. I bought her a drink and we talked…”
“.. At first I thought it was funny that a man actually believed I was a woman.”
“.. But I never saw a ‘man’ or a ‘woman’, all I saw was Kay. Even when I found out that Kay was actually Kai, it made no difference. It was love at first sight. I have to admit that I prefer to see Kay, but not because Kay is a woman, but because, that is when I know that Kay is who she wants to be.”
“I guess, we were both misfits. Freaks. Weirdos. Strange.” Kay says slowly.
“Growing up in England,” James picks up. “… I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere either. I never felt comfortable in that world of obligations. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be Robin Hood when I grew up.” James laughs.
“I had this strong need to break the rules. When I was a child, my father would beat me half to death, trying to teach me some ‘manners’, but the harder he tried, the harder I fought back. So they send me a boarding school and I was no longer their problem. God, I’ve hated ever single minute I had to stay there, but I hated home even more.
Strangely enough, when I turned thirteen, and when most of my friends were acting on their puberty, I suddenly calmed down. Everyone thought it was the effect of the school, but in fact, I lost my will to fight. I started to feel disconnected from the world around me. I just didn’t care about anything anymore.
So when my parent introduced me to Karen, it was just fine with me. When they started talking about how cute we were together, I thought ‘whatever’. My mother’s suggestion that I should marry Karen, who came from a good family, was something I took and acted on, because it didn’t really matter to me.
I know that this may sound weird, but until then, I had never felt the slightest interest for women. Or men. I guess… I was rather a-sexual. I just … didn’t care. So, I married Karen, pretended to be happy and I was just the perfect husband, for a few months, but she started to make me feel suffocated. I couldn’t breathe.
And with my need to break free from that choke-hold, my fighting-spirit came back. After a huge argument, I took a large sum of money from our account and took the first flight out of London, which was a flight to Amsterdam. I didn’t know what to do, until I saw Kay and knew I wanted to stay close to her.”
“James was my rescue. We slept together in the same room, put our money together, but we knew it wouldn’t last forever. So, after a few days, we were talking about what to do next, and we were sitting real close and intimate and this woman walks up to us and starts yelling at James about being unfaithful to her…” Kay laughs.
“And before you think ‘Karen!’, no, it wasn’t her. It was me.” Tessa sticks up her hand and waves. “A week before I met James and Kay, I lost my husband. I was almost twenty years old. He was 8 years older than me. He worked on an oil-rig on the North-sea.
He had left me that morning, after a short recess, and that evening his boss called me and asked me why my husband hadn’t reported in. I had no answer … I tried to find out where he was, but it wasn’t until two days later, that they someone saw the roof of his car in a canal just outside Amsterdam.
He had an injury on his head, probably from the impact of hitting the water, it must have knocked him unconscious and that’s when he drowned. There were no signs of foul play. And then,... I was a widow… My husband’s name, by the way, was Kevin. Kevin Vermeer.
As you can imagine, I was devastated by all this. We had so many plans, so many dreams. We wanted to have a child. A baby would complete our happiness. And then he died and I had nothing. After a week, and after dealing with the funeral, I couldn’t stay home any longer. I needed to get out. I had a few drinks and then… in this dark café I saw a man, talking with a woman…
I thought, … drunk, hurt and confused as I was… that it was my Kevin and I started yelling at him, but when I finally really saw him, I knew he wasn’t my husband…” Tessa’s eyes fill with tears. “It was easier to deal with the idea that Kevin was cheating on me, than with his death.
I was so ashamed of my mistake and I left the place without another word. Suddenly sober. It didn’t sit well with me the next day. I felt like I should apologize for my outburst. On a whim I returned to that same place that same night and, as luck would have it, I found James and Kay and apologized to them…
We started to talk and, I don’t know, somewhere, after a few beers, I saw how we could help each other. I wanted my baby. And both Kai and James had the same dark hair and blue eyes as my Kevin had had. I could still pass this child off as being Kevin’s… Silly of course, but honestly, I wasn’t too coherent those days.” She smiles sadly.
“So, we made a deal. They would try to get me pregnant, the natural way, and I would let them stay at my place.”
“It seemed perfect. Tess would have her baby and we would be together.” James says.
“It may sound strange now, twenty years later, but at the time… we were so screwed up.
And while we were celebrating our ‘perfect plan’, ” Kay continues. “Tessa noticed these two gay men at the bar. We were watching them, when we saw one of them put something in the drink of the other one, while he wasn’t looking.. We just watched it happen and felt like that was wrong.
“I hate when someone does that. It’s usually not done for a good purpose.” Tessa’s look is grim. “So, feeling strengthened by my resolution and my many drinks, I walked up to the young man, who had been slipped that pill, and started talking to him, acted like I thought he was someone else.
There was a bit of an argument, but between James, Kay and me we got him outside, where we told him what we had witnessed.”
“Of course, I didn’t believe them at first. Pete, my boyfriend at the time, would never do such a thing to me.” Kevin now interferes.
"But while I stood there arguing with them, I started to feel a bit light-headed, the whole world started to go out of focus and my knees refused to keep me up and I almost literally collapsed in Tessa’s arms.”
“We got him in Tessa’s car and brought him to her place…” Kay says.
“And suddenly, there we were, the four of us. Kay and James in the guest-room, me in my own room and Kevin on the couch. Thinking back, I must have been insane to let three strangers stay at my house like that, but at the time… with my grief… with my pain… it all seemed logical.” Tessa still seems to be amazed by that.
“So, my Kevin isn’t the father of your child? You named your child after your husband and not after mine. And you only made the deal with James and Kai, ahm Kay….” Scotty gives Kay an apologetic look and she smiles.
“It’s okay. It’s still takes some getting used to for me as well. As to the deal, at first it was the easiest for her and for James to be together. With me it more difficult for Tessa. I looked too much like a woman for her to be comfortable with me…. But that was alright. I didn’t feel right about sleeping with her either.” Kay and Tessa both laugh, showing that neither is insulted by the other one's feelings.
“No, Kevin was not a part of the deal. I just allowed him to stay, because … I liked him. I really just liked him.” Tessa looks at Kevin with a grin on her face. “I told you before, that he was so eager to find things out and his discoveries kept us grounded as well. I needed the sanity that Kevin brought.”
“If Kevin was the voice of sanity, you must have been pretty screwed up.” Chad mumbles.
“Hey!” Kevin protests and they all laugh. Tessa plays with her drink and then continues the story with a thoughtful look on her face:
“I think that all of us did a lot of soul-searching in those days. We drank, we smoked, we talked, we listened to music, we went out, we fought, we laughed, we cried. It were three, four intense months. We got hurt by others, but I don’t believe that we ever hurt each other… Never each other.”
Tessa’s words are sincere and Kay, James and Kevin all agree with a soft ‘never’ and she focuses her attention on Scotty again. “And now, to answer your question, Scotty, if your Kevin could be the father of my son? I don’t know exactly what night I got pregnant. If it was the only night that I slept with Kevin, then he could be...”
“You only slept with him once?” Scotty wants to know.
“Just once.” Tessa confirms.
“She has the dubious honor of being the last woman I ever slept with.” Kevin adds. “Though I have to admit it wasn’t Tessa that lured me into the bed.”
“Yeah,.. I was quite hot those days…” James says in a melancholy voice.
“You still are, but I wouldn’t do that to Kay. Besides, … Scotty is hotter.” Kevin replies smugly and the ‘awww’s around the table make Scotty blush.
“You’ve always had an excellent taste in men.” Kay grins.
“So, where does Karen fit in all this?” Jason now asks.
“Ah, Karen!” James starts. “Well, we lived in our little happy bubble for a while. We got along famously. Had fun and all, but all good fun comes to an end and our end came with a call from Germany.”
“My father had had a heart-attack and he was paralyzed at one side of his body, my grand-father was unable to take care of him alone. So I went back to Germany. Back to being Kai. Not very easy after the freedom I had had, but I would not abandon my father or grand-father.”
“I could only respect his decision. While we were waiting to find out what would happen in Germany, Karen found out where I was and showed up at Tessa’s house. It got very nasty, because I had not told anyone, not even Kay, that I was married. I had to do quite some talking to convince her to talk to me again.
Tessa was very angry too. She got the biggest part of Karen’s anger, because Karen ‘naturally’ assumed that Tessa was my mistress. And when Karen found out that Tess was pregnant and that she could not get pregnant…. It got really ugly... But Tessa never told anyone about Kay and me.”
“Karen was so rude, so incapable to listen to a word I said, that after a few sentences of her hysterics, I just decided that whatever it took I had to protect Kay. I mean, James could take care of himself. Hurting him would mean she’d have to hurt herself and she had nothing on Kevin.
But if she would have told Kay’s father about Kay’s life in Amsterdam, she could potentially destroy the lives of four people. Kay’s father was very ill, the heartbreak would have affected Kay’s grandfather, but also the relationship between Kay and James. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“So, all these years you acted as if you were James’ mistress…?” Chad starts.
“While all along he was with Kay, not with me. Kai would come to Amsterdam to ‘relax and get away from the situation home’ and become Kay. And James would try to come as well and they both stayed at my place, while my son and I stayed with my parents.”
“And Karen never ran into Kay?”
“Twice. Once while he was still Kai, so she didn’t link James and Kai. And once, when he was Kay, but by then she was so convinced she was right about me being the mistress, that she thought Kay was a friend of mine….”
“Wow! That’s quite a story.” Scotty says, still trying to wrap his head around all the facts.
“Scotty,” Tessa places her hand on Scotty’s wrist. “I only slept with Kevin once. I don’t believe that he is the father of my child, but I’m not sure. The only who knows for a fact is my son.
When he turned twelve, thirteen, he needed to have answers and Kevin and Kai came to Amsterdam to have tests done. We kept James out of it, because we were afraid of interference from Karen. However the math is easily done. If it wasn’t Kay or Kevin, then it would have to be James. If it was either one of them, then it wouldn’t be James.
The results were given to my son only. The result was of no further consequence for us. I got pregnant almost immediately, as I hoped I would, so for me, he’s my husband’s son. I don’t want to know differently. And I didn’t want my son to be a burden on any of three men. My son respects my wish.
From the moment I knew I was pregnant I didn’t need James, Kay or Kevin anymore. And I never slept with any of them again. All my life I’ve only loved one man and that was my husband. And I do love these three here… but differently.” She smiles.
“And after all these years of sadness and lying, the good time are now to come.”
Kay’s words make everyone look up.
“My father died a few years ago, my grandfather two months ago and finally, I can be who I want to be. I have nothing left to return to Germany for and I can stay here with James. Finally together.”
“I spoke to my lawyer this afternoon and we’re offering Karen quite a divorce-settlement. But if that means she’ll get out of my life, then it will be worth it. And, to be honest, after what happened today, she’d be a fool not to accept it. And I say: good riddance!” He brings up his glass to make a toast, when a voice interrupts him.
“Mr Griffiths? I’m police-inspector McCord. Can I speak to you? In private?”
“Yes, of course.” James gets up, a quick worried glance at Kevin.
“If you need me…” Kevin nods. McCord turns to his colleague and introduces him as well.
“My colleague is here because of an exchange-program. This is inspector Max Carter.”
END OF PART 12