Food and comfort
Brothers & Sisters doesn't belong to me, written with love, not for moneySummary:
After Robert's funeral, Jason runs into Scotty
Scotty sighs as he cleans out the dish-washer in Nora’s kitchen. It’s not his job, he knows, but somehow there’s something so comforting in doing something ‘normal and every day’ on a day like this. Especially if you feel completely useless to everybody anyway.
It’s Robert’s funeral and Nora has gracefully offered her place once more, so the McCallisters would have a place to get together and that would not upset Kitty’s life even more at this point. Fortunately, this time the McCallister-clan had been more restrained than the first time.
Scotty had feared the worst after hearing all of Kevin’s stories of Robert and Kitty’s engagement-party and after what he had witnessed for himself at their wedding, but everybody, even Uncle Jack, had been friendly to both Kevin and him, so Scotty couldn’t feel like he should complain.
However he’d be happy if this day was over. His own body still hurts from the accident and he knows that Kevin is still in a lot of pain as well. Holly’s life is still hanging by a thread, which is why Justin showed up alone and nobody blames Rebecca for not showing herself.
Joe had brought Paige and Cooper, he had stayed during the service and had left with the kids afterwards, taking that weight off Sarah’s shoulders, so that Sarah and Nora could focus on supporting Kitty. Julia had allowed Tommy to bring Elizabeth, so it isn’t like the Walker-clan hasn’t shown their full support. And yet, Scotty feels like an outsider.
He picks up a large plate that, he knows, belongs in the pantry. It’s when he’s in there that the sound of the kitchen door opening and closing, makes him look up and he sees Jason enter the kitchen. He hasn’t seen Scotty yet, which gives Scotty time to look at Jason for a few seconds. He’s thinner than Scotty can remember and he looks exhausted.
“Hi.” Scotty says, pretending that he just noticed Jason.
“Scotty.” Jason acknowledges. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think there was anyone in here. Nora is so busy with Kitty…”
“It’s okay. I just needed to get away….”
“Yes, it’s very busy. A lot of family…”
“Hey, if you need some time alone, … I’ll get out of here.”
“No, please, don’t leave because of me. I just couldn’t face another ‘so sorry about Robert’ sentence…”
“I can imagine.” Scotty nods and he turns his back on Jason to stack some of the cups away. Then he picks up a tray with some sandwiches and places it in front of Jason. “Here, eat something. I noticed that you constantly talked to people. I don’t recall seeing you eat though…. I made the sandwiches, I’m curious who eats them.”
Scotty’s joke is soft and sweet and it doesn’t fail to put a little smile on Jason’s face.
“Food as the solution to every ache?” Jason teases in return.
“I can’t see how an empty stomach can make you feel better.” Scotty replies, watching with satisfaction how Jason picks a sandwich.
“You’re right. A lot of people would feel better if they had some food to fill their stomachs.” Jason agrees. “Mmhmm, this is good.” He then hums and Scotty nods with a shy smile, still feeling awkward when someone gives him a compliment on the food he prepared.
For a moment they are both quiet. Scotty clears away the last pieces from the dishwasher, while Jason eats another sandwich, realizing he’s incredibly hungry.
“Oh, by the way, Scotty?...” Scotty turns to Jason. “I wanted to thank you for calling me that night that Robert d…” Jason breathes out loudly, unable to say the word ‘died’, that should have finished his sentence.
“It’s okay. I didn’t know what else to do. Kevin had to have his hand looked after. Kitty was too crushed… Everybody was in shock. It was such a mess. You were, after Kitty and his kids, the only immediate family he had….” Scotty swallows away the lump in his throat. “I felt that Robert’s ex-wife and his kids had to be informed and that’s when I thought of you and called you with Kevin’s phone.”
“Must not have been the easiest call to make.”
“No. I hope I never have to do something like that again... I’ve seen you talk to everybody and offer some comfort where needed…. A regular supportive minister,… but how is the ‘brother’ feeling? You lost your most closest family-member?”
There’s a little gasp from Jason as if he considers Scotty’s question to be inappropriate or just too personal, but when he looks up at Scotty, Scotty can see he’s not angry, only surprised.
“I honestly don’t know.” He replies. “I go from minute to minute, on automatic pilot. I say the standard phrases and give the standard words of comfort, but …. Yes, I think you’re right I’m the ‘minister’, not the ‘brother’… I don’t think I can handle being the ‘brother’ right now. My family needs me. I need to be there for Courtney and the kids. Maybe even more than for Kitty and Evan, who have you guys to fall back on.”
“And who will be there for Jason?” Scotty asks now, seriously concerned for Jason. There’s a little frown on Jason’s face, but suddenly he smiles.
“I have God to fall back on. He’s always there. There are people in my congregation I’m close to… And even maybe Kevin and you?” The quiet question in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed.
“We’re just a phone-call away.” Scotty smiles. Again silence falls between them. It’s not an unpleasant one. Just two men with their own thoughts, who each give each other the space the other one needs. They are not the best of friends, but they’re not each other’s worst of enemies either and Scotty enjoys the silence, until Jason suddenly says:
“You know, Robert was so happy that you ended up making him these easy to warm up meals, right after his heart-surgery. I mean, Kitty really tried to make some good meals, and she’s really the sweetest… but honestly, have you tasted
the food she makes?”
They both chuckle.
“I have. It’s why I felt sorry for Robert and decided to give him a helping hand, making Kitty believe that it was just an experiment.” Scotty admits, with a little grin, seeing no reason to explain to Jason that he did more to take some weight of Kitty’s shoulder, than to please Robert.
“It’s going to be strange for you not to have your brother around?” Scotty now asks.
“I know. We used to be close, until we both went our separate ways. Robert in politics, me in religion… We didn’t see each other that often these last few years, but I knew he was always there for me…”
“And he always knew where to find you.” Scotty smiles.
“Yes.” Jason now also smiles sadly. “He did. It’s going to be strange to not be able to call him and hear his voice and talk to him. And vice versa… We talked a lot, right after his heart-attack. More than we had talked in years.
He told me things about mom and dad, that I had almost forgotten about, because I was too young to remember… It was like after his brush with death, he wanted to give me his memories of how our lives used to be… and now I’m the only one left to remember them…” Jason’s eyes fill with tears.
Scotty takes Jason’s hand between his own hands.
“Jason, will you do Evan a favor? And maybe also Jack and Sophie? Write down what you can remember…. As you said, you’re the only one with the memories and, one day, Robert’s kids will want to know more about their grandparents, their father and their uncle.
And a lot of memories will fade with the coming of new impressions. … I was very close to my grand-father, when I was a child. And when he died, I believed I would never forget him, but there are so many things I don’t remember anymore… Sophie will have many memories of Robert, but Jack will have less of them and Evan will have none…. Maybe the best way to honor and remember Robert will be to sit down and write about him… You’re an amazing writer…”
“And how would you know that?” Jason asks with a confused look on his face. Scotty grins in an embarrassed way.
“When you and Kevin were still together, and I only lived at his place, I once cleared up some of the paperwork on his desk to make room for mine and I found a draft of a sermon you’d been writing. It was very good… I mean, I’m not that religious, but you impressed me with what you wrote.”
“Thanks.” Jason smiles. “Yes, ... maybe that is a good idea… I have so many things, situations, images in my head… regarding Robert, but also mom and dad… Maybe it would clear my mind…” Jason’s voice is hesitant.
“You don’t have to do it now
, it was just a suggestion.”
“It was a good
suggestion.” Jason says. “I was feeling rather useless, but now… not so much anymore.”
“You’re welcome.” Scotty smiles. “Here, have another bite to eat and then get back to the others. They need you.” Scotty says with a little regret in his voice.
“It was nice talking to you and.. thanks for the sandwiches, they were great and they did
make me feel better.” Jason says kindly and then he leaves the kitchen. Scotty puts the towel down and he knows, that it’s time to start searching for Kevin and be with the Walkers again on this sad day.